


Times Like These

by anthfan



Series: Times Like These [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-01-06 14:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 173,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anthfan/pseuds/anthfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A man from Felicity's past she never thought she'd see again suddenly appears in Starling City, bringing with him memories she'd rather keep forgotten, and a new threat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's happened again. This began as the 'someone from Felicity's past' trope sort of mixed with the 'stalker' trope. And then it turned into a multi chapter fic. These things happen. To me. A lot apparently.**

**So, enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

The call came from the main security desk a little before noon. Felicity distractedly answered and approved the visitor as she finished up the last bit of work before their marathon of a lunch meeting was set to begin.

She had picked up a stack of files and was pushing into Oliver's office when the elevator doors opened, revealing the one person she never thought she'd see again. His floppy brown hair was the same, as well as his easy rambling gait. She would have recognized him anywhere.

He hadn't seen her yet and there were almost five full seconds where time seemed to slow. Her hands went slack as the folders spilled from her suddenly toneless fingers, leaving papers scattering gently on the floor at her feet.

Some distant part of her brain may have heard Oliver calling her name once, and then again before his chair was shoved back and he was stalking the long empty space of his office to reach her side. All she could hear was the rough rush of blood in her ears as he made his way towards the doors of the outer office.

Fear at seeing him again was quickly replaced by anger and Oliver's hand on her arm was the physical jolt she needed to move.

As soon as he pulled the door open she was advancing. "Leave. Now." she said harshly,

He cocked his head to the side, giving her that slightly manic grin that sent shivers down her spine. "Is that any way to treat family, 'Lissy? I haven't seen you in ages."

"Felicity. Is everything okay?" Oliver was already next to her, slightly positioned between her and the man he didn't know. He was playing off her tension, trusting her response as he squared his shoulders and waited for an explanation.

Digg appeared as if summoned and she didn't know if Oliver had called him or he had somehow just known to show up. Regardless, she was grateful.

She ignored Oliver's question because if she looked at him just then she didn't know how she'd keep hold of her wildly fluctuating emotions. Her heart was already threatening to beat out of her chest and she was having a hard time quelling the panic that rose within her.

"You're not supposed to be here." she ground out, eyes never leaving his. She'd learned her lesson a long time ago to never drop her guard around this man.

"I"m better." he said easily, spreading his arms wide and taking a step towards her. She backed up automatically and saw both Digg and Oliver move closer in.

Felicity shook her head as she clenched shaking hands at her side, "I don't care. The restraining order is still in effect so you need to leave."

It was like she'd said magic words. Without speaking Digg and Oliver both acted. Before she knew what was happening Oliver had turned her with an arm wrapped behind her back, directing her into his office while Digg was escorting the man she'd never wanted to see again out the door.

Her mind blanked for a second until a warm hand on her knee made her jump back into herself. She blinked startled eyes and looked to her left to find herself sitting on the couch, Oliver perched next to her practically vibrating with the need to know what was going on.

"Felicity…" he began but she held up one finger and asked him to wait. She'd only be able to say this once and she wanted to make sure Digg was back before she started.

He let out a long sigh and scrubbed his hands over his thighs before he stood and crossed to the nearby table where she always kept a pitcher of water. When he pushed a glass into her hand she realized she'd lost time again.

Her hands trembled so badly she only managed a few sips before he was taking it back and sitting it on the table in front of them. She looked at everything but his face, because she knew once she did she'd probably break down.

A thought struck her and she was on her feet, Oliver moving as well. "My phone. I need my phone." she said thickly and out the corner of her eye she saw him hesitate before he was striding from the room. She could see him through the glass as he searched her desk and was back as quickly as possible, pushing the device into her hands.

Her knees felt wobbly and his hand was on her shoulder easing her back to the seat as she stared at the black screen. She needed to make the call, but she was afraid of what she might learn.

Digg slipped back into the room, a long, intense, and silent conversation happening between him and Oliver before she took a deep breath and made herself turn on the phone and make the call.

It took three rings before the line was picked up and she didn't even bother with a greeting. "Why didn't you tell me he was out?" she demanded, control slipping as the adrenaline began to leave her body. She was on her feet and pacing behind the couch now, fingers rubbing over her forehead as she waited for a response.

"Felicity?" her mother asked, "What are you talking about?"

"I had a right to know he was out! Of everyone, I had a right to know! Why wouldn't you tell me?" she could almost taste the hysteria in her voice and had to swallow hard to tramp it down.

There was a long pause and then her mother's frightened, shaky reply, "He's out? I didn't know, sweetheart. I didn't…Are you okay?"

She cursed her own lack of foresight. She'd stupidly thought three thousand miles and her own family was enough of an early warning system.

Her eyes shut tight and she could almost feel the waves of energy flowing off of Oliver and Digg as they watched her. But she could only handle one thing at a time.

A bubble of nervous laughter made it's way up her throat and she had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep it at bay. When her mother started talking again she almost didn't hear her.

"You know we don't speak to your aunt and uncle any more...but I would have thought if...I would have thought they…" her's mother's tone was going to that place Felicity couldn't handle. The one she'd had to hear all those years ago during court arraignments and long nights at the police station and that one trip to the emergency room she tried to pretend never happened.

"Okay, Mom, okay." she said automatically, knowing if her mother fell apart she wouldn't be far behind.

"What happened, is he there? Did he hurt you again?"

"I'm okay, he didn't hurt me." as soon as she said the words she cringed. Oliver already looked like he was about to jump out of his skin as he waited for her to get off the phone, but she actually saw him flinch at what she'd said. "Look, I've got to go. I'll call you later." she said hastily and thumbed the call off before there could be a reply.

The silence in the office lasted all of a few seconds before Oliver had clearly been pushed as far as he was able and appeared at her side, hand cupping her elbow. "Felicity...what the hell is going on?" she could hear how hard he was trying to keep control for her and that more than anything helped settle her some.

She let him tow her to the couch and take the phone from her hand as he and Digg stood still as soldiers before her, arms crossed, stony expressions as they waited for her to start talking.

"Sit." she ordered, "I can't talk with you two looming over me like giant, brooding statues."

She wasn't sure she could talk at all. Part of her wanted to keep quiet, deal with it herself, and tell them she could handle it. The other part of her was scared and wanted to accept any help she could get.

They settled around her, stiff limbed and reluctant. Digg on the couch across from her, Oliver at her side, close enough to provide support, but not so close to crowd her. She gave them a grateful smile and fiddled with the hem of her skirt as she struggled to figure out where to even start.

"What's his name?" Digg asked gently and a rush of grateful air escaped her lungs.

Start with the basics. She could do that.

"Nate. Nathan Samuels." that name hadn't passed her lips in years and it left a bad taste in her mouth. She unconsciously grabbed the glass of water and took a long drink before Oliver asked the next question.

"Who is he?"

"My cousin."

Digg's eyes rose into his hairline, but Oliver didn't react at all.

"Tell us about the restraining order."

Apparently the easy questions were over.

Felicity licked her lips and felt her heart rate begin to rise again. She'd never told anyone this. No one outside her family who had lived through it when it happened had been privy to this part of her life.

Oliver's hand landing on top of hers made her gasp and she looked up to see intense eyes locked on hers, "Hey, you're safe here. No one is going to hurt you."

Instead of pulling away she wrapped her fingers around his and held on tight. "I know." she said with conviction.

"I don't really know where to start. Nate's two years older than me. My mom's brother's son. We lived near them so we saw them a lot growing up. He was a smart kid, normal, nothing...nothing out of the ordinary." she screwed her eyes tight and tilted her head to the side as she silently admonished herself for feeling the need to defend him just because he was family. "Anyways, he was home from break and he got into a bad car accident, his girlfriend...she died. The accident was Nate's fault but his parent's had a good lawyer and...he got off."

"Felicity, that's not a happy story, but it doesn't explain why this guy has you scared to death and why there's a court order saying he can't go near you." Digg spoke up when she paused for breath.

"Sorry," she said with a slightly sheepish smile, as she pushed her glasses up her nose and dropped her hand to cover Oliver's where it was still clasped in her lap, "I'm getting there, promise. The girlfriend is important."

Digg gave her an encouraging look and a nod before she continued.

"It was my first year at M.I.T, I had exams...I didn't go home for the funeral. I didn't see Nate again until the next summer, maybe six months after the accident. Looking back the signs were there he'd had some sort of...psychotic break or something but no one knew at the time." she shook her head sadly, "I had never met his girlfriend but apparently we looked similar. When he saw me again he became obsessed." Oliver's hand tightened over hers but neither of them spoke.

"It started at a backyard barbeque or maybe a birthday party...I can't remember. He wouldn't leave me alone, followed me everywhere, he...he kept touching my hair and talking about how it was the same color as his girlfriend's which I admit was a bit creepy at the time but again...no one knew!" she said the last bit forcefully, hating how guilty she still felt at not knowing what was going on before it got bad.

"Felicity, you didn't do anything wrong." Oliver said softly,

"I know that. It took me a few therapy sessions but I do know that. At least intellectually. I still wish I would have known what it was all about earlier. Maybe we could have gotten him better help."

She blew out a long breath and shifted her eyes between the two of them, these men who she knew would lay down their lives for her. These men who she trusted more than anyone in the world were there for her in any capacity she could need. She held on to that knowledge like a talisman. It was the only way she knew how to get through this.

"I've never had to tell anyone this before. At least not beyond the police, and a therapist. And I'd mostly put it behind me since it's been almost seven years…" she was starting to lose focus and she reined herself back in with some effort. "I had to deal with him off and on that entire summer. It got to the point where I avoided family functions if I knew he was going to be there. He started showing up at our house randomly with no notice, he called me his dead girlfriend's name a few times...finally my parents noticed. My mom tried to speak to her brother but...Nate was an only child he'd never done wrong in the eyes of my aunt and uncle and...they just said he was still grieving. I thought everything would be better when I went back to school, but it wasn't."

Oliver shifted next to her on the couch and she wondered if she was going to be able to tell him this next part. "He'd dropped out of school after the accident so he wasn't really missed anywhere. I hadn't been back on campus three weeks when I got home to my apartment late one night to find him sitting on my couch. At first...he held it together for awhile. He told me he needed a place to crash and he was fine when other people were around. He acted like the guy I used to know. And then...I'll never know what changed but...he was always around. Walking me to class, waiting outside the computer lab late at night, slipping up and calling me the wrong name again. I...tried to talk to my aunt and uncle but they didn't want to hear it. They told me…" she gave a bitter laugh and looked away for a moment at the memory, "They told me I must be doing something to make him act that way and I should stop."

Suddenly she wanted to get up and move, and pace, and not be stationary, but she felt the warmth of Oliver's hand seep into her skin and she used it as an anchor. "I told him to get out. Had to call the local police to get him to actually leave. He uh...he didn't like that. Two nights later he caught me in the stairwell leaving the lab...it was two a.m, I was the last one to leave…" she felt hot all of a sudden and like there wasn't enough air in the room. She tried to pull her hand away and jump up from the couch, but Oliver held her in place.

"What happened, Felicity?" there was an undercurrent of anger in his voice that she recognized from when he went out under the hood and it sent a tremble through her as she swallowed heavily and tried to find the words to tell them the rest of the story.

"He...he was completely gone, mentally. He thought I was Jenny, the girlfriend, back from the dead or something. He was insistent I come with him." she took a deep breath and fixed her eyes on the table as she struggled to speak, suppressing a shiver at certain memories that she wasn't sure she'd ever share with them. "I don't remember much because of the concussion." both Digg and Oliver started at this like she knew they would and she forced herself to continue. "I know I tried to get away but he grabbed me and I fell down the stairs. I broke my arm, and hit my head even though I didn't feel it at the time. I woke up in the back seat of his car, two hours from campus." tears were slipping down her cheeks, but she didn't notice until Digg held a handkerchief her way and she had to peel her hand off of Oliver's to take it from him.

"You got away?" it was Digg who asked, but Oliver who finally had had enough and jerked to his feet to pace just behind her.

She nodded tightly, and plowed ahead before she could consider how cold she felt at the loss of contact. "Yeah, he stopped for gas and didn't know I woke up. I got out and luckily there was an off duty detective two pumps over. I woke up again in the emergency room."

There was a loud noise from Oliver that made her jump. "This guy stalked you, assaulted you, and kidnapped you and he's not in prison?" his voice was nothing more than a growl and all she could do was stare at him with wide eyes.

"No…" she stuttered out, "The psych evaluation said he couldn't stand trial...and at the time it...I mean he was my cousin and…"

"You didn't want to put your family through that." Digg finished for her and she nodded gratefully, her throat clogged with unshed tears.

"It didn't matter though," she said when she could finally speak, "His parents stopped talking to us. He was admitted to a facility and I got the restraining order. They didn't think it was necessary. It's...it's why I started dying my hair," she admitted and heard Oliver suck in a breath as he stilled two feet behind her. "As soon as I was done with school I only looked at companies on the west coast. QC recruited me and...moving three thousand miles away never seemed like a bad idea."

A silence fell around them and the longer it went on the longer she could feel the tension rise and when she looked up she saw that Digg had his eyes on Oliver, over her head. She twisted on the spot and saw the way his jaw was clenched, eyes hard, and realized they were doing that thing again where they communicated in furrowed brows, and pinched expressions.

"I don't want him stepping foot inside this building." Oliver ground out, never looking at her once.

"Already taken care of. When I escorted him out I made sure security knew and if he did try and return to have them notify me immediately." Digg replied,

Oliver scraped a rough hand over his head and finally looked at her, "You're not going home tonight." he said, and his tone brook no argument.

"Oliver, that's not necessary." she retorted,

"Really? Because half an hour ago you thought he was on the other side of the country locked in an institution. But he's not. He's here. In Starling and he knows where you work. What makes you think he doesn't know where you live?" she knew he wasn't trying to scare her and that he was just worried about her, but his words were hard and a flutter of panic began to rise in her chest.

"I'll be fine." she stated,

"He got into your place before."

Now she was on her feet, facing him over the couch, "Yes, he managed to get into the tiny off campus apartment I shared with four other people. Three of whom were so scatter brained they could barely remember to shut the door behind them much less lock it. We're not talking about the criminal mastermind of Starling City here. I live in a secure building and I have an alarm system. I'll be fine." her argument probably would have held more weight if her eyes hadn't brimmed with tears and her chin hadn't wobbled as she spoke.

He was around the couch and at her side before she could blink, hands grasping her elbows to turn her to face him. "He's not going to hurt you again. I'm...we're not going to let that happen." the anger in his voice had vanished and was replaced with that soft, low quality she liked to think he only used when talking with her.

She gave him a weak smile and tried to ignore how his thumbs were moving in small circles on the inside of her elbow. Even through the fabric of her sleeve it made her skin prickle.

"Local PD need to be alerted that he's in town and already violated the terms of the restraining order." Digg interjected, "You should contact Lance directly."

With a start she realized the last thing they needed was the SCPD keeping tabs on her, it would make her night job difficult. But she also knew she couldn't ignore Nate showing up in her city either.

"If you need to take a few days…" Oliver began and then pressed his lips tight together as if he wished he could take back the words. "Although I really think you need one of us with you." he amended.

"I'm okay." she assured him, "Really. And I'd rather work. I can't just sit around my place waiting for something to happen."

He tensed at her suggestion that something could happen and a wave of gratitude washed over her.

A flash out the corner of her eye had her jumping with a gasp as her fingers clamped down tight on his forearms. The new group of investors were arriving for the lunch meeting.

"Oh god!" she exclaimed, grabbing Oliver's wrist and pushing back his sleeve so she could see his watch. "The meeting is starting in five minutes and I've put us behind, and…"

Digg exited the office to direct them to the conference room as Oliver took her hands in his and lowered his head until he could meet her eyes. "Hey, everything is going to be fine. You can skip the meeting."

"No," she shook her head, "I told you, I need something to do. Just...can I have a few minutes? I'll be right there, promise."

"Of course. Call Lance though. It might be good to have some official help on this." he suggested and she nodded.

She fought back a shiver as he stepped away, his hand lingering on her arm until he couldn't any longer. He looked torn and her stomach flipped at how much this seemed to be affecting him.

He gave her one last supportive smile as he left his office.

"Take the tablet on my desk!" she called out at the last minute, watching as he correctly grabbed the slim device and waved it at her through the glass before heading down the hallway.

She pressed her fingers up under her glasses on the bridge of her nose as she took a long centering breath. When she looked up Digg was still standing in the outer office, positioned to see the elevator, hallway, and her at all times.

Felicity took her phone from the table where Oliver had left it and made her way over to his desk, sitting in his chair and turning it to look out the windows as she dialed Lance's number.

Fifteen minutes later she felt exhausted. After going so long without thinking about Nate and what he had done to her, having to recount the story twice in an hour had left her feeling raw and on edge.

Digg was still in the same spot when she made her way out, "Everything okay?" he asked with a nod to the phone in her hand.

"Yeah, Lance is going to look into the files from back home and find out if he was released or if he got out some other way. He's not going to make it official yet. He doesn't want any unwanted attention drawn to me any more than we do. But he said he'd make sure to drive by my place a few times when he's on patrol." she said with a shrug,

"Good. And I'll be doing a sweep of your building tonight."

"Digg…" she started but he stopped her with a look,

"Don't argue. I know you've got an alarm system but it's the one that came with the apartment. You know it can be improved. How many units from your door to the nearest stairwell? Can you reach the roof from your fire escape? Is the doorman there around the clock? Are there security cameras in the parking garage?" every question he asked sent a shot of fear through her as she realized she couldn't answer them.

"I don't...I…"

"I know. That's not your job. It's mine. Which is why I'm following you home tonight."

She felt her eyes prick with tears at his concern. Not trusting herself to speak she laid a hand on his arm as she passed by, intending to take a few minutes in the restroom before she braved the rest of the meeting.

Digg followed her down the hall and when she turned, open mouthed to tell him he didn't have to she she just let out a sigh instead as she pushed through the door.

Her pale, washed out features surprised her a bit when she looked in the mirror. Eye liner had smudged some, but not as bad as she would have guessed and was easy enough to fix. What she couldn't seem to fix was that she just looked scared. She could school her expression, and put on a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes, and she knew Oliver of all people would be able to tell.

She had to do this though. Going to the meeting would be good for her. She'd be able to focus on something else instead of letting her mind wander to places it shouldn't.

Another deep breath and a quick tug of her clothes were needed before she walked out with a purpose. Digg fell into step behind her and soon enough she was snatching another tablet off her desk and making her way to the conference room.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to all for the amazing response to the first chapter of this story. We're upping the creep factor in this one. Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think.**

The one good thing about being an executive assistant was that she was virtually invisible. She slipped in a side door and slid into her seat next to Oliver without anyone looking her direction.

He did look her way though. She felt his eyes cut over her as she busied herself with her tablet and tried to half listen to the man that was talking, hoping she could figure out where in the meeting they were without too much trouble.

She did her best to pay attention. For a minute or so at a time she was able to focus on what was going on around her, and then her mind would wander. A sudden touch to her ankle made her jump like she'd been burned as her eyes flew to Oliver to see his hand still extended towards her. Her foot and leg had been twitching erratically as her nerves got the better of her.

Felicity cleared her throat and uncrossed her legs, planting both feet firmly on the floor hoping that would be enough.

For the next half an hour she was able to attend somewhat successfully. There was a small break and she busied herself off to the side fixing a cup of coffee while Oliver talked with one of the investors. She didn't hear another assistant approach her from behind, and when he reached across her back, he accidentally brushed her hair with his arm causing her to let out a small shriek. The coffee mug she'd just filled crashed to the counter sending hot liquid spilling over the side as she stood stock still, hands pressed to her chest as her heart threatened to explode.

The other assistant was already apologizing and grabbing towels to clean up the mess, thinking he'd made her drop the cup. Silently Oliver took her by the arm and led her away.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out, looking around frantically to see if anyone was staring at her.

He moved closer, blocking her from view as he stared down at her. "Hey, it's okay. What happened?"

She ran a hand over her head and blew out a long exhale. "I don't know. Someone reached past me and I didn't see them. They touched my hair...I guess with...with Nate coming back it just freaked me out."

"Maybe you should take the rest of the day." his brows were drawn together in worry and as much as she wanted to protest and prove that she could handle staying she had to admit she was barely functioning.

"Okay," she said quietly.

Oliver looked surprised by her answer and moved even closer until she felt his shoes just touch hers. The hem of her skirt brushed his pant legs and she thought if she rocked forward just a few inches there would be no distance between them at all. As she stared at his chest she was overwhelmed by the urge to know what it would be like to be wrapped in his arms. To be able to bury her face in his shirt and know that for a few minutes she'd be safe.

When she felt her hand lifting she curled her fingers into her palm and shut her eyes tight for a moment. She had to get control of herself.

"Digg's going to follow you home." he said and she nodded,

"I know."

"Don't worry about coming in tonight, it's quiet."

The lair was a secure place for her. She briefly considered having Digg take her there but she knew she needed to try and keep her life as normal as possible. But being able to hide underground with Digg and Oliver at her side was appealing.

"We'll see about tonight." she compromised, not missing how that certain muscle in his jaw twitched.

"Felicity…" he warned and she shot him a look, feeling a bit more like herself as her pulse began to lower.

"Oliver, I can't completely upend my life. I need...I need things to stay normal until this is all figured out." the hand she'd stopped earlier was now laying on his lapel, and she snatched it back,

He held her gaze for a long while until he finally looked away sharply. "Just be careful. And...call me if you think anything seems wrong. Promise me."

His eyes drilled through her, the blue intense and hard. For a second she thought she'd caught a glimpse of something she'd never seen from him before, but then it was gone.

"Of course," she managed to whisper,

"Promise me." his voice was so low it was almost a growl and it stirred a reaction inside her she could barely speak around.

It took her three attempts until she said "I promise."

His eyes fell shut and he leaned in over her, so close she could feel his breath touch her face. "Thank you,"

The air seemed to still between them and then there was movement behind him and she realized with a jolt just how public they were then. She took a full step backwards, distance suddenly a necessity. Oliver didn't seem phased however. She watched as he turned and lifted his chin towards Digg who was just outside the main doors to the room.

They walked back to the table and Oliver picked up her tablet and phone and handed them to her. "Feel better, Ms. Smoak." he said, loud enough for anyone around them to hear and she gave him half a smile for his cover.

Digg already had the door open for her as she approached and she could feel Oliver's gaze on her until she turned the corner.

Being able to see Digg following her the entire drive back to her apartment was a relief. Her eyes kept darting to the rearview mirror, as if she needed the constant reassurance she wasn't alone. But every time she looked he was no more than a couple car lengths back.

When they pulled into her parking garage he took the spot next to her and already had the door ajar before she grabbed her bag. "Maybe I should have just driven. Did you even see that Prius you almost took out?"

She shot him a look of surprise and gulped. "Um, no."

"Didn't think so." the corner of his mouth lifted but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

His arm was outstretched behind her, jacket open, and for the first time she noticed he'd moved his holster to his hip instead of his back where he usually kept his sidearm. A shiver went through her as he guided her across the empty garage. She'd seen him in bodyguard mode before when escorting Oliver or Thea through throngs of press but she never thought he'd be doing the same for her.

When she pointed to a door sized hole off to the side his head swiveled her direction. "There's no direct access to the building from the parking garage?"

"No, you have to go out there and there's a short sidewalk to the front of the building."

They stepped out and he cut a sharp glance around, "A short walk that's lined with bushes where anyone could hide and not be seen. The doorman can't even see you from here." he said with a shake of his head

Her stomach churned as she looked back to the dark garage and the shrubbery that she'd always admired in the spring for the blooms it produced, now it looked ominous. "Well, it's pretty well lit at night and no one really uses this street except for people who live on it." she said hesitantly. She wasn't stupid. Oliver and Digg had both drilled it into her how important it was to pay attention to her surroundings. Not once had she ever felt unsafe walking to her building.

Digg stopped and waited until she was looking at him, "Felicity, I'm not trying to scare you or make you paranoid, but these are things someone trying to hurt you would use to their advantage."

She swallowed heavily and nodded, trying to commit what he said to memory. "Okay, I understand, I'll be more alert when I'm coming home late."

"Well, until this is resolved it won't be an issue." his voice was hard and they were moving again.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean either Oliver or I will make sure you get home safe."

She wanted to fight him on his declaration but decided it was probably best to listen to the man who was paid to keep people safe.

While Digg was practically grilling her kindly doorman she got her mail and took a closer look of her apartment lobby. It was amazing the things one never noticed until you bothered to really look. She was normally in and out so quick she barely cast a glance anywhere other than the elevators straight ahead. But the first floor hallway had emergency exits at each end and they couldn't be seen from the front desk.

Digg joined her at the elevators and gave her an approving look.

"I showed Samuels picture to the doorman and told him the police would be around more. The only security camera is on the front door and the individual alarms for the apartments are directly tied to the alarm company not the police department." he explained as they rode up four floors.

At her silence Digg sighed and pushed the stop button, "Do you know what that means? It means if the alarm is triggered it could be almost twenty minutes before any uniforms are sent over. Twenty minutes is a long time."

"I get it!" she exploded suddenly. The ball of acid that had been swirling in her stomach made her swallow hard as she pressed a fist to her forehead. "I understand, Digg. I'm not completely innocent. I've lived in this city for four years by myself and I've been with you and Oliver for awhile."

Digg was quiet while she tried to control her breathing, and when she finally lowered her hand and looked at him he wasn't upset. "I'm sorry. He's just got me rattled. I truly never thought I'd see him again. I had put it behind me."

"I know. And I know you're smart and capable. But you've never had to think like this before, and maybe...maybe that was an oversight on my part considering." he didn't finish the sentence but he didn't have to. She knew what he meant. Considering how close she worked with Oliver and his alter ego and how many times now she'd found herself in danger because of that it was probably long past time for her to make some changes.

"You're right, it's...good stuff for me to know and not just for now. You're just trying to make sure I don't get hurt. Thank you." she gave him the strongest smile she could. His reply was to unpause the elevator and turn back to face the doors, but she'd caught a small gleam in his eyes and leaned her head against one of his massive arms for a second to show her gratitude.

But when the doors opened he was all business again. One arm came out to keep her in the elevator until he'd checked the hallway both directions. When he deemed it safe he waved her forward. None of it was helping her calm down. If anything it was making things worse as she expected Nate to jump out at any second.

With his hand hovering over his gun he laid a broad palm across her back and ushered her quickly to her door. After her third shaking attempt to unlock her door he took pity on her and slid the key home.

The distinct smell of her apartment washed over her and she took a deep breath and immediately felt calmer. Digg followed her in and made her wait by the door while he checked the rest of the space. Whatever brief moment of normality she'd experienced was gone as she watched him clear her place, room by room, gun drawn.

Her phone chimed while she was waiting and she thumbed it on to find a text from Oliver. The corners of her mouth lifted as she could almost feel the worry pouring out from the message.

'Are you home? Everything ok?'

She wrote him back immediately to let him know she was fine, and asked how the rest of the meeting had gone. He ignored the question about the meeting and reminded her to call him if there were any problems. With a sigh she reminded him that she had promised and he was quiet after that.

"Everything looks fine." Digg said, coming out of her bedroom as he holstered his weapon. "But I want you to walk around and make sure nothing is out of place."

Letting out a shaky breath she put her bag down in it's normal spot and began to scan each room. Digg followed a few steps behind, but after walking through every room she couldn't see anything that looked wrong. She even opened cabinets and looked in drawers, but nothing was out of place.

Some of the tension eased out of her and she kicked her heels into her closet before she walked back into the living room. It was three in the afternoon and she felt exhausted.

"I can stay if you want." Digg said, and she knew he meant it. In fact he seriously looked like he was going to do it regardless of what she said.

"I'll be fine. Besides, Oliver is done with the investor meeting. Remind him his mother has wanted to do a family dinner for over a week. If I'm not going in tonight maybe today would be the day to do it." she suggested, mostly because she was tired of fielding the calls from Moira's secretary who seemed to think taking the non-direct route was the best way of dealing with Oliver.

She was trying to go for normal and routine as a way to distract her from the fact that she was at home in the middle of a work day because a mad man from her past had tracked her down.

Digg narrowed his eyes at her, seeing right through her facade. In a rush she held up her hand and stepped closer, "I'll turn the alarm on as soon as you leave. I won't answer the door. I'll keep the windows shut even though I'm four floors up. I'll even text one of you every hour if that makes you feel better."

He stared at her for a long moment before he let out a resigned sigh. "All of that. All of it, Felicity. And you text both of us." he said forcefully, waiting for the agreeing dip of her chin before he shook his head slowly and reached into his coat pocket to pull out the small back up weapon he usually kept at his ankle.

She was already shaking her head no when he pushed it into her hands. "Yes." he said, steely voiced. "You're a good enough shot. I trained you myself."

"Digg…" she breathed out as she stared at the gun through blurry eyes. "You know I hate this."

"You can hate it all you want as long as you use it if you have to."

With trembling hands she laid it on an end table and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Keep it near you."

She nodded stiffly, unable to take her eyes off the gun.

"You want one of us to come back just say the word." his tone was softer now and she swiped a rough hand under her glasses before she looked at him.

"I'll be okay."

"We'll get this figured out." he said, and clasped her arm warmly, "Text. In an hour. I'll be waiting."

"Thanks, and I'll text you both, don't worry."

"It's my job to worry." he said with a smile as he made his way to the door.

She heard him wait outside as she shut the door and threw both the locks before arming the security system. She eyed the panel after she'd turned it on and wondered whether she could make any improvements. It was something she should have done when she moved in, but she hadn't had the time.

But now wasn't the time either. She'd need to take it offline in order to fix it and that was something she couldn't do just then.

Still feeling jittery and out of sorts she looked around her place and felt like a stranger. She was never home anymore. It was more a storage facility and a place to catch a few hours of sleep most days. When she did have a rare night off it was spent doing laundry or attempting to have some semblance of a normal life.

It took a sharp, mental rap to get her to push herself off the door and move. Still feeling strange she changed in her closet, something she never did, as if there were eyes on her she could feel but not see. She emerged with her oldest college sweatshirt and leggings that frayed at the bottom.

Home in the afternoon with time to kill was such a foreign concept that she spent a good twenty minutes just wandering from one spot to another. She washed the few dishes she'd used that week, picked up some clothes from the floor, tried to watch t.v. and realized there was nothing she could focus on worth watching.

She spent the next forty minutes fiddling with her phone and watching the clock. When exactly an hour had passed since Digg's exit she sent a text to both him and Oliver and as she tapped send a wave of relief washed over her, like that simple act somehow kept her safe.

They both responded within seconds and she allowed herself to settle back against the cushions and relax just a bit. She hadn't realized how tired she was until she shut her eyes. Soon enough the absolute quiet lulled her into sleep.

She woke to her phone going off in her limp hand. Blinking open blurry eyes she looked down to see it was two minutes past when she should have texted again and Oliver had already written her. Before he could jump in a car and head her direction she answered him and apologized. He was in for the night due to the family dinner his mother had gotten him to agree to and Felicity let a small smirk cross her face. He'd probably love an excuse to leave early which is why he'd texted her so quickly.

It was dark out and she shivered as she made her way to the windows and double checked they were locked and the blinds drawn. The one to the fire escape had a habit of not wanting to shut all the way and she eyed it with apprehension until she made her way into the kitchen and grabbed a long wooden spoon to wedge in the top as an extra deterrent.

Her food choices were limited, but she didn't want to risk ordering in or going out. The gun caught her eye again as she passed by and a chill went down her spine as she picked it up and took it into the kitchen with her as she made a simple dinner she knew she wouldn't taste.

She ate standing up at the counter when a thought struck her and her face flamed at her own stupidity. Food forgotten she raced to her bag and grabbed her tablet. Within minutes she was attempting to hack the medical records of the facility Nate had been kept at. To her frustration she discovered quickly they had yet to put their files on line and there was nothing to access. She'd need the computers at the lair to get into the files at the police department in her hometown and even then she didn't know if she'd find anything worthwhile. Lance was more likely to get more information word of mouth, cop to cop.

For the better part of an hour she tracked down anything she could get on the old case, which wasn't much. She only barely remembered to send a message to Oliver and Digg. The case hadn't really caught the attention of the local papers and had been kept as quiet as possible thanks to her aunt and uncle. There were a few old articles but nothing after he'd been admitted to the facility.

She let out a growl of annoyance and scrubbed a rough hand over her hair, her normally sleek ponytail disheveled and half undone. A shower and an early night was something she was willing to let herself indulge in if she wasn't going into the lair. One more text was sent before she made her way into the bathroom.

Water going, she considered her reflection in the mirror for what seemed like an eternity. The room slowly filled with steam and she distractedly reached for the switch to the fan as she opened the mirrored cabinet to pull out the case to her glasses.

When she looked back the world stopped. All the blood rushed to her head as she stumbled backwards until she hit the wall.

Sitting on the second shelf was a box of hair dye. It was darker than her current color, and as she stared at it her mouth dropped open in horror. It was her natural hair color. And taped to the box was a note. All it said was 'Fix it'


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: WOW! Really. I'm blown away by the response to this story. Massive thanks to everyone who has read/reviewed/followed. I'm so glad you're loving it. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Please let me know what you think!**

_Previously in 'Times Like These'_

_A shower and an early night was something she was willing to let herself indulge in if she wasn't going into the lair. One more text was sent before she made her way into the bathroom._

_Water going, she considered her reflection in the mirror for what seemed like an eternity. The room slowly filled with steam and she distractedly reached for the switch to the fan as she opened the mirrored cabinet to pull out the case to her glasses._

_When she looked back the world stopped. All the blood rushed to her head as she stumbled backwards until she hit the wall._

_Sitting on the second shelf was a box of hair dye. It was darker than her current color, and as she stared at it her mouth dropped open in horror. It was her natural hair color. And taped to the box was a note. All it said was 'Fix it'_

Fear filled her, and it was the echoing of her scream and the rough scrape of it escaping her throat that brought her back to the present. On rubbery legs and lungs that couldn't seem to take a normal breath she tripped out into the hallway, using the walls for support until she reached the kitchen.

In seconds she had slid on the beat up pair of Chucks she kept by the front door and had grabbed her phone and the gun Digg had left for her. The door may or may not have shut behind her as she raced towards the elevator, heart pounding so hard in her ears the fact that she could hear her erratic breathing let her know how loud she was being.

At the last second she rethought the elevator, her head whipped to the emergency stairs and she was two floors down, gripping the handrail in desperation as her eyes blurred with tears before she remembered a fall night at M.I.T when Nate had attacked her in a stairwell.

When she burst into the lobby it was empty and dread settled low in her chest as she approached the desk, knowing she was going to find the doorman dead on the floor.

But there was no one there. Her head swiveled back and forth as she took in the space around her, fear making her want to run even more.

The main doors opened and the doorman was looking at her with concern. "Ms. Smoak? Is everything okay?" he asked as he approached and then stopped, face paling when he spotted the gun in her hand. "The police were just here, about that boy who's looking for you."

"The police?" she asked desperately, "Are they still here?"

She didn't wait for a response. Her wrists protested the force with which she pushed out of the building but she didn't notice. All she could see was a cruiser pulled to the curb and a familiar form about to get into the driver's seat.

Her voice was gone, covered with tears and it took her two attempts before Detective Lance heard her. His head shot up and turned her direction, eyes going wide when he took in her appearance.

She knew he was talking as he hurried to her side but she couldn't hear him. It wasn't until she felt him slipping the gun from her hand that she jolted back to herself with a great gasp.

"Ms. Smoak, what happened?" he demanded,

"He was...he was here." she stuttered out,

"You saw him? He's here now? Are you hurt?" he asked quickly and all she could do was shake her head, as her chin wobbled at the effort she was exerting to not completely break down.

"Not now. He left something in my bathroom. I just found it." she managed to say, wrapping her arms around her middle.

Lance never left her side as he radioed for backup. "I'm going to send some officers up to check things out, okay?" he asked and she nodded her consent.

When the second cruiser pulled up he told them quickly what was happening but waited with her while they went up. The shaking that had began as a fine tremor was now making her teeth rattle and she felt like she was walking through a fog as Lance guided her to the front seat of his car and had her sit.

A hand on her knee made her startle and caused fresh tears to splash down her cheeks. Lance was crouched in front of the open door looking at her with concern. "You can't stay here tonight. The boys will check things out and lock up. Where do you want to go?"

"Oliver's" she blurted out immediately, and not even the wide eyes of the detective could make her feel self conscious about that. She needed Oliver. She needed to feel safe.

"Okay," he replied, although she could tell he didn't approve.

The car door shut next to her and she heard him talking to the other officers before he climbed in and began to drive.

"Does our...friend know about this?" he asked gruffly, "I'm surprised he wasn't camped out on your fire escape."

"He knows." she said softly, and didn't elaborate. Lance let out an exasperated huff and focused on the road.

A sharp pain in her hand finally made her look down and for the first time she realized she'd had a death grip on her phone. It took her two tries to make her muscles unclench as she stared down at it.

The shaking was growing worse and she couldn't get her fingers to do what they were supposed to do. Frustration, and anger, and fear all combined within her until she felt like she might explode.

Lance reached over and took it from her, "Trying to call Queen?" he asked and all she could do was nod.

He sighed again and made the call for her. Her hands laced together in her lap as she tried to keep herself from flying apart.

"Queen," Lance barked out when Oliver picked up and even though she couldn't hear his actual words she could hear the explosion of sound as Oliver realized it wasn't her on the line.

"She's okay. Scared and shaken up but physically fine." There was a pause where she could hear the low sounds of Oliver's voice.

"He got in at some point and left something for her to find. That's all I know right now." Lance continued, "No. Just settle down. We'll be there in ten minutes. For some reason she told me to bring her to your place."

Before Oliver could reply Lance had hung up and the phone was entering her field of vision. She took it back and clung to it again like a lifeline. "I don't know what you see in that kid." he said with a shake of his head and she turned to look out the window, knowing she couldn't have said anything he'd believe anyways.

The closer they got to the mansion the more anxious she became. The shivering grew worse, until the sound of her teeth clanking together made Lance turn the heat on. "It's the adrenaline wearing off." he told her, "And maybe a bit of shock. You're going to be exhausted and feel like hell later."

She didn't respond. She just wanted Oliver. Knowing she'd see him in only a few minutes was the only thing keeping her from completely losing hold of the tenuous grip she had on her emotions. As it was tears slipped steadily down her face and she no longer tried to wipe them away.

The main gate was already open and Lance barely slowed as he drove through, making his way down the long winding drive. A desperate noise left her throat when she finally spotted the house and saw Oliver pacing the wide front step. He spun on his heel and hurried down the stairs as the cruiser came to a stop.

She was pushing the door open at the same time Oliver was pulling it and then she was being hauled into his arms.

All the panic she'd been bottling up since Nate had walked out of the elevator earlier that day spilled over and she found herself clutching his shirt as she sobbed into his chest. One of his hands buried itself in her hair as the other wrapped around her back, rubbing soothing circles as she broke down.

She didn't care that she did all of this in front of Lance. Didn't care that this was not how the public saw their relationship and this was not how an executive assistant and her boss should behave. Didn't care that she was also crossing some sort of boundary that she and Oliver had erected ages ago. All that she cared about was with Oliver's fingers lightly stroking through her hair, and the steady thrum of his heart beneath her ear she finally felt secure.

He was talking to Lance. There was a rumble in his chest as he spoke, and a slight rise and fall but she didn't actually hear what they were saying. When there was a screech of tires and the slam of a car door she turned her head slightly and looked through wet lashes to see Digg running up to join them.

There was more talking she didn't really pay attention to until the voices got louder. With effort she lifted her cheek from where it was pressed under Oliver's chin to see Lance glaring at Oliver.

"I'm handling her protection now." Oliver practically growled, and she didn't have to look up to know how serious his expression was.

"Well see that you do." Lance bit back and then turned and shoved the gun he'd taken from her at Digg.

"Here, she had this on her when she ran out, I'm guessing it's yours."

Felicity took a deep breath before she pushed back slightly and wiped her face. Her head was swimming, and she felt weak and shaky but she was determined to face Lance and Digg.

Lance gave her a sympathetic smile, "He's violated the terms of the restraining order more than once. When he's caught, he'll be arrested. I'm still waiting to hear back from the guy who has his case right now and when I do you'll be the first to know."

There was a long stretch of silence where Lance and Oliver locked eyes. "Take care of her, Queen." Lance said roughly before he headed back to his car and pulled away.

Digg and Oliver were doing their silent thing again and she suddenly felt aware of how close she was to Oliver. She shifted her feet slightly to the right until one of his arms was forced to fall away. Unable to feel her legs she didn't know how she was remaining upright and as soon as she wasn't pressed against him the tremors started again.

She swallowed heavily and tried to look Digg in the eye, "I'm sorry...I just ran and…" she knew she'd done everything wrong and hadn't followed any of his directions.

"Hey, you're safe, that's all that matters. We'll go over what happened later, but not right now."

She nodded warily and didn't even realized she'd swayed until Oliver's arm locked around her waist.

"Okay, come on, you can tell me what happened inside. Digg's going to go talk to the guards about beefing up security tonight." he explained before she had a chance to ask.

With no protest she let him tug her back to his side, her heavy eyes falling shut much longer than a blink as she rested against him. He pried the phone from her grip and pocketed it before covering her hand with his own. "You're freezing," he declared, turning them back towards the door as Digg hurried to his car.

Oliver had managed to get the door open before her knees buckled and white spots danced in front of her eyes. She heard him call her name as he pulled her upright, one hand coming to rest against her cheek. She opened her eyes at his command and saw how worried he was.

"Are you hurt?" he asked and she summoned reserves she didn't know she had to push strength into her limbs.

"No...just tired, and…" she didn't know why she felt so slow and sluggish.

"It's normal." he assured her, as he ushered her inside into the warmth of the foyer. "Let's get you upstairs so we can talk." his voice sounded strained and she looked over his shoulder to see they had an audience. Moira, Thea, and even Roy were watching in rapt attention.

"Oh god," she moaned and turned her head into his arm wondering how things could possibly continue to get worse.

"Ollie...what's going on?" Thea asked,

"Nothing you need to worry about." he told his sister, already moving them to the closest staircase.

"Ollie!" she cried out, clearly not satisfied with that answer, but Roy caught her arm as she went to follow them.

Oliver ignored her as they began to climb the massive set of stairs. Halfway up she stumbled again and he let out a muffled curse before he slipped an arm under her legs and swept her up.

Thea's gasp echoed in the large space and all Felicity could do was rest her head against his shoulder and shut her eyes. She'd be mortified later. Right then the exhaustion and fear had left her wrung out and unable to care about things like what Oliver's family might think about the sight of him carrying her up the stairs.

The next thing she knew he was lowering her to a couch and she sat upright with a start, hands going down to grasp his forearms as she looked around the strange room.

"Hey, it's okay, you're safe." he assured her and she felt her heartbeat settle some as she focused on his worried face kneeling before her.

She sank into the plush cushions and let out a shaky breath. Oliver squeezed her hands and then moved to sit next to her.

Her eyes kept trying to shut and it took effort to get them to even open up halfway. "Felicity, I need you to tell me what happened and then you can rest."

Tears clouded her vision as the memory of seeing that box assaulted her and she screwed her eyes tight and jerked her head to the side like she could throw the thought away.

"What did he leave?" Oliver asked gently and she knew he wouldn't give up.

"A box...a box of hair dye." she said brokenly and watched a look of horror mixed with rage cross over his face. "There was a note…"

Oliver's fingers tightened over hers and before he could speak she pushed ahead. "The color...it was my natural color and...the note said 'Fix it'"

She didn't realize she was crying again until she was pressed into his chest as he murmured soft words of comfort in her ear.

"He was in my home." she said thickly, "He got inside….how? How did he do that?"

Oliver held her tighter, "I don't know. But it's not going to happen again."

As she lay against him she knew she should pull back. She knew she should get herself together and thank him and tell him she was fine because the last thing he needed was to worry about her. But she was finally warm, and her fingers couldn't seem to stop drawing little circles on his shirt no matter how many times she tried to quit, and when he whispered into her hair it wasn't hard to believe in the things she never let herself dare believe in.

She was half asleep when he sat her back. "Hey, wake up for a few more minutes, okay?" he said quietly, a hand brushing loose hair out of her face. She couldn't help turning into his touch and she thought he may have stilled but she wasn't sure.

He waited until she forced open her eyes and gave her a smile when she did. "The bathroom is right there." he said, pointing to the door on the far side of the room. "I need to go talk to Digg and I'm sure my mother has a few questions as well."

Not even the thought of him talking about her to his mother drew a reaction from her and he let out a long breath, thumb stroking over her cheek before he rose from the couch. "I'll be back soon."

She waited until he left the room and eyed the distance between the bed and the bathroom. The bed was closer and won out.

With stilted, slow steps she made her way to the mammoth California King and didn't think twice as she pulled down some of the finest bedding and linens she'd ever seen. The lights were still on and she wanted it to stay that way. Her bones felt laden down and all she could think about was sleep. As she slid between the sheets she sighed gratefully and laid her head on the pillow, only vaguely aware that everything smelled like Oliver.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Wow! I am truly blown away by the response to this story. I'm so glad everyone is enjoying it and loving where it's going. I really wanted to focus on something Felicity centric that had nothing to do with the Arrow business. Thanks so much for the brilliant reviews and follows and everything.**

**Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

She fell asleep immediately, but it was far from restful. When she woke the first time the room was dark and it took her too long to remember where she was. She jerked upright with a gasping breath as it all rushed back to her, cheeks now flaming as she recalled Oliver holding her and carrying her up the stairs while his mother and sister looked on.

On shaky legs she made her way to the bathroom feeling like every muscle in her body had been put through one of Digg's brutal training sessions. Her head pounded and she didn't spare herself a glance in the mirror as she splashed cold water on her face.

A look at a clock let her know it was only a little after ten, which on a normal night would mean she'd be at the lair, but right then all she wanted to do was curl back into the most comfortable bed she'd ever slept in.

She left the bathroom light on as she made her way back across the huge room, following the yellow trail of light like a path. Her glasses were laying on the bedside table, and as she drifted back off to sleep she wondered how they got there.

Bad dreams woke her hours later and she blinked open wet eyes to see Oliver sitting next to the bed, holding her hand.

"Hey, it's okay. You're safe." they were the same words he'd said to her earlier and she let them wash over her as she shoved damp hair out of her face and struggled to sit up.

"Oliver…" she wasn't expecting to see him, and the remnants of her dream still had her on edge. She rested her elbows on bent legs and let her head drop as she tried to control her breathing. Oliver's hand on her shoulder sent a skittering surge of electricity down her spine and she knew he felt how she'd reacted to his touch.

The tight rein she usually kept on how he affected her was gone just then and she didn't think she could gather it back in time. He was blessedly quiet while she took an extra minute she didn't really need and attempted to tramp down the dangerous thoughts she was having. Especially when she remembered how solid and strong and warm he'd felt beneath her as he held her earlier. Now that she'd experienced that once she wanted it again.

Thinking she was safe she lifted her head and gave him a weak smile in the faint light. The bathroom door was still open, the yellow glow still spilling out like she'd left it. "Why are you in here? I wasn't being loud or...anything, was I?" she couldn't let herself consider he was watching over her.

The corner of his mouth twitched and he paused before he answered, "I'm in here because Goldilocks is sleeping in my bed and the guest rooms are in the other wing. I didn't want to be too far away in case you needed me."

Felicity felt her stomach drop as his words registered with her. She was in Oliver's room. In Oliver's bed.

Her eyes cast wildly about the dimly lit room, taking in the masculine fabrics, and heavy use of leather before finally landing on the framed photos of Oliver and Thea standing only inches from where her glasses lay.

"Oh god," she gasped out and immediately went to throw the covers back, but Oliver's arm dropped across her legs, effectively trapping her and the bedding.

"Felicity, it's okay. I brought you here, remember?" he reminded her and all she could do was mutely nod as she processed the idea that Oliver had brought her to his room and told her to sleep in his bed. Her stomach flipping at the idea was not helping her wild thoughts or the way it filled her with warmth to know what he'd done.

"Still...I shouldn't...I can move to another room, really, it's fine." she was proud that her voice didn't shake. She was feeling better now that her nightmare had faded, and the very real reality of being in Oliver's room was providing an effective distraction.

"You're not moving rooms at two in the morning. Just stay. You can move tomorrow if you really want to." Oliver insisted and she could tell he was serious.

"Tomorrow? No...it'll be…" but she stopped herself as she remembered that Nate had gotten into her place and she really didn't want to go back to her place. "I can go to a hotel." she said weakly and could almost hear the aggravated sigh before he let it out.

"Fine. Then we'll go to a hotel together. But I'll let you deal with the press if you go that route." there was a sharp, satisfied quality to his words because he knew she'd never put them in that position. "You're not leaving my sight until this gets resolved, Felicity. I mean that."

She sunk back into the pillows with a resigned sigh. When he used that tone there was no arguing with him. She should know. She'd tried.

"Are you going to sit in that chair and stare at me all night? That's creepy, you know."

That earned her half a smile and a small shake of his head. "Are you trying to kick me out of my own room, Ms. Smoak?"

She could tell he was making an attempt to lighten the mood and she appreciated his effort. "Never. There's a perfectly comfortable couch over there, or the rest of this massive bed. It could easily hold four full sized adults."

Her eyes went wide at the same rate her face flushed red and her hands clamped hard over her mouth in horror. She had not just told Oliver to sleep in bed with her.

His eyebrows lifted into his hairline and she saw his mouth twitch in an attempt to not break into a grin. The one very specific grin that typically got him exactly what he wanted, and that she wasn't as immune to as she pretended to be.

"Felicity. Go to sleep." he said after a long moment and she couldn't help but suck in a loud breath at how he sounded. By the way he wiped his hands down his thighs and stood up quickly she thought he was surprised as well.

She shifted down until she was lying flat, curled on her side facing him and held her breath as his hand reached out and pulled the covers up over her shoulder. Shutting her eyes tight she focused on her breathing as she tried to bring her frantic pulse under control. When she opened them again he was gone, but he'd left the bathroom light on.

There were faint noises coming from further in the room and she assumed he was settling down on the couch. She only felt a little bad at the image of him fitting his large frame on it. She fell asleep with the comical picture in her head of his long limbs sprawling over the back and arms of the couch.

For the first time that night she slept soundly, and without dreams. Pale morning light finally made her crack open slightly swollen lids to see she'd rolled over and now faced away from the windows. If it wasn't for the large male body blocking her view she'd be able to see the rest of Oliver's massive bedroom.

Eyes that had barely been open were now wide in shock as she took in the sight only eighteen inches from her. Oliver was next to her. Sitting upright, head tipped back against the dark wood of the headboard, feet crossed at the ankles, he was so close she could make him out clearly without her glasses. His left hand rested so close to her fingers she wondered if he'd been holding her hand at some point.

She'd frozen when she'd realized what she was looking at and it took considerable control to let out the breath she'd been holding in a way that didn't make any unnecessary movement. By the time she'd fully exhaled her heart was thudding so loud in her ears she could hear nothing else.

Oliver had actually climbed in bed with her. It didn't matter that he was fully clothed and above the covers. The intimacy of his actions had her mind whirling as she tried to make sense of what he'd done.

He was concerned about her. And maybe she'd had bad dreams she wasn't aware of and he'd gotten in the bed to calm her down. That she could rationalize. It definitely went past their normal interactions, but they'd become more tactile recently, closer because of how much time they spent together and what they did. She shouldn't make more of it than it was.

And that was all perfectly logical and sensible, but it didn't stop a flush of heat from rising in her chest, or her stomach from flipping at his proximity, or the rushing wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her if she so much as cracked the rickety dam she'd put around her heart where Oliver was concerned.

The tingle of electricity that shot up her fingers and into her hand was the only indication she had that she'd stretched her hand those last few centimeters and was now touching him. She couldn't seem to stop and she watched in a sort of horrid fascination as her fingers curled around his.

Her eyes flew to his face when she felt his fingers close around hers and hold on tight, but there wasn't so much as a twitch of his eyelids.

For the next half an hour she was content to stay still and try and turn her brain off while she enjoyed the quiet calm of just laying next to him.

She actually found herself starting to doze back off when he shifted next to her. Blinking open heavy eyes she saw him staring at her, gaze unwavering. Neither of them spoke but she saw the questions in the look he gave her. She answered them just as silently.

When it got to be too much she dropped her eyes to their still joined hands and felt her cheeks grow warm. His thumb rubbed over her knuckles in slow comforting strokes and something that simple should not have sent shots of desire to her core, but it did. Before she could do something embarrassing like moan she pulled her hand away and sat up, pushing loose hair from her face. But when she sat back against the pillows and looked over at him she was struck by the image they must have made and a pang struck her chest at how much she wanted to be able to do this every morning.

He opened his mouth, no doubt to ask her something comforting like how she was or if she'd slept well and it was suddenly all too much. With a flush already creeping up her chest she threw back the covers and was halfway to the bathroom before she knew she was moving. Her steps faltered once when she realized how much worse running from his bed must have looked instead of just staying and talking, but she was already committed. The door shut with a satisfying thunk behind her as she leaned against it and willed her thudding heart to settle down.

With shaking hands she finger combed her hair and splashed water on her face and wondered if he'd let her get away with acting like she hadn't just done what she'd done when she emerged.

Other than the rumpled covers there was no sight of him when she came out and she felt a flash of apprehension mixed with something else when she saw the empty room. Not quite knowing what she should do she made her way back to the bedside and was just picking up her glasses from the table when there was a knock on the door and Digg's distinctive voice calling out Oliver's name.

She wasn't expecting him to come out of a door she hadn't noticed on the other side of the room. A door that must have led to his closet since he was now wearing grey dress slacks and had his shirt open. "Come on in, Digg." he called, eyes cutting over her briefly before Digg pushed in.

If he was surprised to see her there he didn't show it, but she definitely saw him take in the room, including the obviously slept in bed and Oliver's half dressed state.

Felicity slipped her glasses on and self consciously smoothed down her hair as the silence stretched on just a moment too long.

"You alright?" Digg asked, gaze holding hers in a way that made her feel like she could do nothing but tell him the truth.

"Yeah," she nodded,

"Lance is downstairs, he's got some info for you if you're up to it."

A bolt of fear went through her at what she might possibly find out, but she pushed it aside, knowing she needed to know everything.

"Yeah...yes...I want to hear whatever he has to say." she answered hoarsely, making her way around the end of the bed.

Knowing she had to say something to Oliver she turned to see him looking at her with an inscrutable expression. "I'll just...I'll just go down with Digg and leave you to...you know...finish." she waved a hand towards his half exposed chest and mentally cringed at how she must have sounded.

She didn't wait for a response, just crossed the room to join Digg.

"I'll be right there." Oliver called out behind her and she waved a hand over her shoulder as she exited, blowing out a long exhale when she reached the hallway.

Digg fell into step beside her and she could hear very plainly everything he wasn't saying.

"Everything is fine." she said finally,

He made some sort of harrumphing noise in his throat like he didn't believe her, "As long as you're sure."

"I am," she wasn't sure at all, her mind was a mess right then between Nate being back and Oliver...she couldn't make sense of anything just then.

They made their way down the long staircase she hadn't been able to walk up the night before and she found herself looking for the other Queens, not knowing how she'd be able to look them in the eye again.

She let Digg take the lead and followed him into one of the formal sitting areas. Her worn sweatshirt and leggings suddenly registered with her and she felt very young and very vulnerable as she walked in the room and saw Detective Lance in his uniform and Digg in his suit.

"Ms. Smoak," Lance said evenly and she was glad to hear his voice held no trace of pity or tenderness. It was exactly what she needed right then.

Head coming up she broke away from Digg, her clothes no longer an issue.

"Mr. Diggle said you had information. Did you find anything else in my apartment?"

"Boys focused on the bathroom since that's where you said it was. They also shut off your shower, by the way."

Felicity cringed, she'd never thought again about the shower running when she'd left.

"Tell them thank you for me."

Lance gave her a wry grin and pulled folded papers from inside his jacket pocket. "We didn't find anything else that looked out of place or tampered with. The windows were all closed and locked. Everything was dusted and we're running prints but…" he trailed off and she knew they wouldn't find anything.

She nodded with a heavy heart and wrapped her arms around her middle. She wanted Nate caught and sent back to the east coast.

"I need to get an official statement from you. But I also wanted to let you know I talked to the officer in charge of Samuel's case." Lance paused and shifted a little closer to her. "You need to know he was released. The psychologist at the facility he was sent to declared he was stable enough on meds to be let go."

A cold shiver ran down her spine and she held herself tighter.

"There's no way this guy is sane enough to be out." Digg said harshly, stepping to her side, "First thing he does is come to see her. No. And he's still violating the restraining order."

Lance winced, "There's no more restraining order."

Felicity gasped and took weak steps backwards until Digg's strong arm caught her. "No…" she said breathlessly, "How...that's not possible."

"From what the case officer said there was a closed meeting with his lawyer, a judge, and the psychologist. Everything has been rescinded."

She shook her head numbly, "How can they do that without me present? How can they not notify me?"

Lance gave a disgusted grunt, "Bureaucracy. You'll receive a notice in the mail in seven to ten business days."

"Oh my god."

"We're going to find this guy, don't worry. There's no doubt in my mind he's still unhinged and he won't have the protection of Mommy and Daddy here in Starling. We'll be bringing him up on all new charges." Lance said gruffly and she gave him a wavery smile in appreciation.

"Normally you'd need to come down to give your statement but…"

"Thank you," she said sincerely as he opened the papers and showed them to her.

"Just to be certain, this box of hair dye was left in your bathroom medicine cabinet and you did not put it there yourself, nor did anyone have your permission to enter your apartment and put it there." the photo was a close up of her cabinet interior, the box and the note seeming to jump off the page at her. An involuntary shiver went through her as she read the note again.

Swallowing heavily she nodded once. "It's not mine and I didn't ask anyone to put it in there." she confirmed.

Digg asked to see the photo and Lance handed it over. When he let out a muffled curse Felicity's head swiveled to look at him.

"What?"

There was an anger in his eyes she'd never seen before and her stomach dropped at what that could mean.

"Mr. Diggle, do you know something?" Lance prodded,

Digg's eyes cut over to her and then back to Lance, "I checked this cabinet before I left her alone. The dye wasn't there." he said heavily, turning to look fully at Felicity as his words registered with her.

It took a beat too long for her to understand what he was saying. Lance had already sucked in a breath before it slammed into her.

She felt like all the air had suddenly been removed from the room and there was no feeling in her legs as she clasped both hands over her mouth. Bile rose in her throat so quick it burned and she stared at Digg in horror.

Nate had been in her apartment while she was there.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow! Just...wow. Really, you're all amazing. I never would have guessed this story would be getting the love that it is but I'm very glad. Especially since it's sort of taken over my life right now and turned into quite a monster of a fic. Which means there are lots more chapters coming. Lots more.**

**Enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

_Previously in 'Times Like These'_

_Digg's eyes cut over to her and then back to Lance, "I checked this cabinet before I left her alone. The dye wasn't there." he said heavily, turning to look fully at Felicity as his words registered with her._

_It took a beat too long for her to understand what he was saying. Lance had already sucked in a breath before it slammed into her._

_She felt like all the air had suddenly been removed from the room and there was no feeling in her legs as she clasped both hands over her mouth. Bile rose in her throat so quick it burned and she stared at Digg in horror._

_Nate had been in her apartment while she was there._

Her vision tunneled until all she could see was what was straight in front of her, and every desperate attempt to drag air into her lungs was futile as the panic rose in her chest and enveloped her completely.

She felt Digg catch her about the waist and ease her down to sit on a nearby ottoman while Lance laid a hand on her back and told her to lean forward. They sounded like they were talking to her from underwater, or maybe she was the one drowning. It was hard to tell.

She tried to concentrate on her breathing but it was no use, her chest rose and fell erratically as horrible thought after horrible thought flew through her head at what Nate could have done to her.

Then there were warm hands on her face and it was being pulled up until Oliver's worried eyes were the only thing she could see. Her fingers clamped tight around his wrists, and even though she still couldn't hear what he was saying over the rush of blood in her head she could feel his pulse and she concentrated on that.

She was able to take one regular breath and then a second and one of his hands slipped behind her ear and rubbed soothing circles into her scalp as she shut her eyes and tried to gather her control as she let him support her head.

Gradually her heart beat slowed and she could take normal breaths. When she began to hear the sounds around her she slowly opened her eyes to see Oliver right there, still crouched in front of her. Waiting.

He gave her a supportive smile as his thumb coasted repeatedly over her cheekbone. "Hey, what happened?"

She sat back abruptly at his question, immediately feeling the loss of his touch as she turned pleading eyes to Digg.

"Oliver," he said, but Oliver didn't take his eyes off of her, "Oliver, give her a minute." Digg spoke again, this time with more force and finally Oliver turned his head.

With a slight shake of his head and another look thrown her direction he reluctantly climbed to his feet and followed Digg to the other side of the room.

She tried to force the tension from her shoulders, but she knew Oliver's reaction wasn't going to be good when he heard what Digg was about to tell him.

Lance hovered next to her but one glance his direction let her know he had his eyes firmly fixed on Oliver and Digg.

There wasn't an explosion like she was expecting. Digg spoke in low tones, and she couldn't make out his words, but the tightening of Oliver's hands into fists and the way his jaw clenched let her know he'd found out about the restraining order at least. When he squared his shoulders and let his hands fall to his side, she knew he'd been told Nate had been in her apartment while she'd been there.

He looked like he did under the hood.

Digg was still speaking but Oliver was now looking at her and she couldn't have averted her gaze if she wanted to. The variety of emotion she saw flicker through his eyes was enough to leave her breathless once again and her heart flipped at the intensity she saw there.

It took her a moment to realize he was stalking back towards her and Lance, his attention now focused on the detective as he came so close to her side his pant leg was brushing her bare ankle.

"How can he have been released?" Oliver growled, waves of barely contained fury flowing from him.

Lance adjusted his stance and narrowed his eyes, "Like I told your bodyman and Ms. Smoak, he was cleared by a psychologist and a judge." before Oliver could erupt again he held up a hand, "I don't agree with it. The fact that the first thing he did was hop a plane and fly three thousand miles away to mess with her again tells me he's still got more than a few screws loose. But right now the only thing we could pick him up on was B and E, and even that could be hard to prove without prints."

Oliver glowered and scraped a rough hand over his hair. "He was in her place with her there." his voice was so low she was shocked at how much he sounded like the Arrow with the voice modulator and her hand shot out to lay against his leg in a weak attempt to calm him some in case Lance became suspicious. She could feel the hard, tense line of his quad through the fine Italian fabric she gripped tightly.

Lance let out a frustrated breath through his nose, "And I will enjoy nothing more than slapping cuffs on this creepy piece of scum when we find him. Until then, I recommend she doesn't go back there, or at least doesn't go back there alone."

Oliver actually scoffed at that, "She's not going anywhere near that place until he's behind bars."

Lance tipped his chin towards Digg, "I assume you're handling security here and at Queen Consolidated. Right now this really isn't a case, I'm doing it more as a favor of sorts but I could probably convince a few uniforms to moonlight for a little extra cash if you need the eyes."

Digg stepped forward until he was right behind her, "We've already added more men here. And security at QC knows to not let him in." there was a pause where she was sure he was looking to Oliver, "But I don't think we'd turn down assistance from SCPD. A few extra patrols on the exterior of the property would be welcome."

"I'll ask around. In the meantime, she shouldn't be alone-"

Felicity had suddenly had enough and pushed to her feet so quickly Oliver took a step back.

"That's it! She's right here! She's been right here the entire time! So you can all get off your testosterone high horses and realize that I am a human being with a brain, bigger than all of yours I might add, and that I am perfectly capable of participating in a conversation about my own safety!"

Lance had the decency to look slightly chagrined, but as she glanced at Oliver she wasn't surprised to see him staring back at her, unapologetic and if she had turned to look at Digg she knew he'd look the same.

"Felicity…" Oliver began and she whirled on him, finger pointing,

"Don't, Oliver." she said firmly, "I am obviously going to do whatever Digg and Detective Lance tell me to do. I am not being reckless. I am scared to death. And I can't even begin to tell you how I feel, knowing that he was…" she choked on her words and forced herself to continue, "that he was there when I was sleeping. I don't know if I'll ever be able to stay there again. But I get to have a say in all of this, okay."

She was staring at him through watery eyes as her chest heaved slightly from her outburst and she waited for him to respond.

"Okay," he said simply and she let out a shaky exhale, dashing a hand under her eyes to quickly wipe away any moisture that may have fallen.

She stared at Oliver a moment longer and pivoted to address Lance, "So where does this leave me? I need to at least go back and get some things." a cold chill went through her at the thought of going back, and she replayed her words to Oliver. A new apartment might be necessary when this was over.

"We can go over there if you'd like. In fact, I wouldn't mind walking through the place with you and making sure nothing else was touched."

"Do you know how he got in?" Oliver asked, voice much calmer than it had been before and she shot him an appreciative smile for his effort,

Lance shook his head no, "Can't say. Front door was locked, and I assume the alarm was set. All the windows were also locked and closed."

Felicity nodded, "The alarm was set...windows locked…" her mouth dropped open as a memory struck her, "Oh god,"

"What?" Oliver said, taking her by the elbow and turning her towards him.

"The window to the fire escape...it's sticky. Half the time it doesn't want to lock correctly I've been meaning to talk to the super…"

Digg interjected, "I checked all the windows, Felicity. The latch was locked."

"I know, it looks locked. And I never go out there. I never use it, especially this time of year and...I totally forgot…" she blanched as she remembered using the spoon to wedge it shut. After Nate had already been inside.

"That's how he got in." she looked at Lance, "I'm sure you took prints but maybe there's hair or fiber or...something he left behind."

"I'll have a unit go back over it." he assured her and she swallowed hard past the ball of acid in her throat at knowing it was her fault Nate had gotten in.

There was a minute where no one spoke and she could feel all eyes on her. She squared her shoulders and clasped her hands in front of her. "Okay, let's get this over with."

"Felicity, you don't have to do this. You can stay here and borrow some things from Thea…" Oliver began and she saw the true conflict in his expression.

"My life, my choice." she reminded him, "I'd rather be at work than stuck here. Not that this is a bad place to be stuck. It's a veritable fortress. But I can't just do nothing."

She knew the words she'd said before had resonated with him and his eyes fell shut for longer than a blink. It was the only tell he gave that let her know how much this was affecting him as well.

He was about to speak and she didn't know if it was to argue with her more or not when he reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out her phone. She could see the screen and saw it was her mother calling. Her stomach dropped at the thought of having to tell her everything that had happened.

Oliver handed it to her silently and she took it with shaky hands as the call cut off. A quick swipe of her thumb let her know there were five missed calls and a new voicemail had just been left. With a sigh she gripped the slim device and turned to the others. "Sorry, I really need to take this before she gets on a plane and heads out here."

She looked around, wondering where she could go to make the call when Oliver dropped a hand on her shoulder. "Take your time. We'll be waiting when you're finished." he said softly, hand trailing down her arm as he stepped away, Digg and Lance right behind him.

Before she could talk herself out of it she pressed her mother's number and wandered to the large window overlooking a formal garden she'd never seen before, fingers absently playing with the drapes as she listened to the phone ring on the other end.

Her mom picked up almost immediately, calling out her name in worry and asking if she was alright.

"I"m okay, Mom." she said

"Why haven't you answered? I've been so worried!"

"I know, I'm sorry…" she paused, unsure of whether to tell her everything that had happened or not. "I, um, decided to stay with a friend last night I guess I didn't hear it ring."

"Why are you staying with a friend? Did Nate try something? Felicity, what is going on?"

She winced and rubbed her temples, her mother had always been able to spot when she wasn't being entirely truthful. "It's under control. The local police know what's happening."

"That didn't answer my question." her mother countered,

"Mom, I just don't want you to worry."

"Felicity, I'm your mother, I'm going to worry regardless. Now tell me what happened."

And then Felicity found herself telling her everything. About the hair dye, and the restraining order, and the fact that she had her boss's personal bodyguard protecting her.

By the time she'd done her best to convince her mother not to fly to Starling City she was drained and exhausted and it was only a little past eight in the morning. She took a moment and then shook herself off. If they wanted to get to the office at any sort of a respectable hour they needed to head to her apartment right then.

Digg and Oliver were waiting in the foyer when she joined them and she had hardly quirked an eyebrow before Digg spoke, "Lance is waiting outside."

"Sorry, and thanks." she said, waving her phone at them, not having anywhere to put it.

Oliver's brows drew together as he looked down at her, "Felicity, don't apologize. As much as you do for me...it's the least I can do for you." his blue eyes bore into her with such strength and conviction she could only nod,

Digg cleared his throat and opened the door for them as Oliver's hand dropped to her lower back and escorted her out.

There was an extra security detail at the door that usually wasn't there and he sprang ahead to open the rear car door for them. She slid across the seat and fastened her seat belt, watching as Lance's cruiser pulled away ahead of them.

The ride to her apartment was done in silence, and she could do no more than fiddle with her phone and look nervously out the window the closer they got.

She kept her eyes down when they pulled up in front of the building and she was very glad it was daylight. Oliver climbed out and reached back for her hand which she gratefully gave and if anyone noticed that he didn't let go of her when she was standing on the sidewalk they didn't say.

They headed straight for the elevators and her grip on Oliver's hand was so hard her own fingers were going numb. She didn't know what she expected to see when they reached her hallway, maybe crime scene tape, or the door standing open, but it looked no different than it ever had.

"I don't have my keys." she blurted out suddenly, her voice sounding louder than normal in the narrow space.

Lance held one up, "I got it." he stepped forward and had the door unlocked quickly.

Digg tensed imperceptibly and Oliver's hand pushed her back slightly so she was more behind him than beside him.

Lance entered first, followed by Digg. Oliver stepped across the threshold slowly, eyes taking everything in, including her reaction.

She watched as Digg and Lance headed for her bedroom, no doubt to look at the window and fire escape Nate had come through. Felicity couldn't seem to take her eyes off the couch as her heart tried to thud out of her chest.

"What's wrong?" Oliver asked, tugging her towards him slightly.

She shook her head slowly and gestured towards the couch, "Just...I was sitting there, asleep and he...he was in here. He probably stood right here where we are now and watched me." a violent shiver shook her entire body. "He had to have been watching somehow. There was only an hour. I had just texted you and then...I fell asleep. I woke up only an hour later." two fingers laid over her slightly parted lips as she looked up at Oliver in shock, "God, what if he was still here when I woke up? How did I not know? How didn't I feel him staring at me?"

"Hey, this isn't your fault." Oliver's other hand wrapped around her wrist and drew her arm down to her side, "You thought you were safe in here. There was no reason to be on guard."

"He's right, you can't play the 'what if' game. If anything he's tipped his hand. We know he's still fixated on you and he's going to do stupid things like show up at your work and break into your apartment. He'll slip up and we'll get him." Lance said as he and Digg emerged from her room.

She gave the detective a tight smile and then motioned behind him, "Is it okay if I pack some things?"

"Just stay away from the window, but everything else is clear. Including the bathroom. I know how you women need your things." he was trying to lighten the mood some and she appreciated it.

She didn't realize Oliver was still at her side until she was about to step into her bedroom. "Oh, sorry, you um...you don't have to help or anything. I can do this."

"Felicity," he said warningly and she sighed and rolled her eyes, although she purposely slipped her hand from his. She could do this. Although it was nice having him there.

"Fine, then make yourself useful and get the duffel bag out of my closet, top right." she said, and pointed straight ahead at the door in front of him.

"Yes ma'am," he answered with an upturn of his lips and she made her way to her dresser.

She'd gather two sets of pajamas, spending much more time than was necessary deciding exactly what would be okay to wear in the Queen mansion, when she turned to see Oliver placing a garment bag and her large suitcase on the bed.

"That's not a duffle bag," she observed dryly,

"No, it's not." he agreed, ignoring her tone as he unzipped both and flipped the top open on the suitcase. Watching Oliver do something so...domestic in her bedroom was almost too much for her to handle.

"Why didn't you get my duffle bag?" she hoped her he hadn't heard the slight crack in her voice,

"Because we don't know how long this is going to take and I don't want you to have any reason to have to come back over here until it's through. So pack the big bags." for a second the control slipped and she saw the strain and the worry, and the unknown. Because this wasn't someone coming after the Arrow. This was something he hadn't had to deal with before.

Her eyes locked on his as they had a silent battle, but in the end she blinked first. She couldn't let him worry. He already had so much on his shoulders. And she didn't want to be in her apartment any more than he wanted her there.

"Fine. I'll pack the big bags. But you're carrying them to the car. Not Digg." she countered, and whirled on her heel with a flip of her hair as she went to place her armload of pajamas in the open case.

He let out a disgruntled noise but didn't say anything and she gave herself a mental victory point.

"I'll let you pack. Unless you need help with anything else."

She crossed back to the dresser and had just opened the top drawer when she let out an embarrassed squeak and shut it quickly, wondering if he'd caught a glimpse of her bras and underwear. But the small twinkle in his eyes let her know he had.

"No. I'm good. Very good. I can handle everything." she said quickly, "I'll call you when I need your muscle." she pressed her lips into a tight line and willed herself to stop talking.

His eyebrows raised slightly but he didn't comment, just gave her a wink as he left the room.

She spent the next five minutes muttering about Oliver Queen and winking and how it was just rude and there was no woman on the planet who could claim to be immune to that particular act, as she rifled through her lingerie, being selective as if it had a chance to be seen by someone other than her. With a disgusted groan she raked her hands through her hair and grabbed two large handfuls to stuff into the bags.

Fifteen minutes later she was fully packed, and dressed for the office in one of her favorite dresses, hair pulled back in her familiar ponytail. Being in the bathroom had made her stomach churn a bit, but she did what she had to do and got out as soon as possible. She stepped into her heels and smoothed the skirt down before she took a deep breath and opened the door.

Digg and Oliver were standing in her small kitchen talking quietly and it was a strange sight. Digg saw her first and gave her a warm, approving smile which she returned and was still on her face when Oliver pivoted to see her.

His features softened as he tilted his head towards the bedroom. "Lance got a call and had to go. Ready for the muscle now?" he asked as straight faced as possible, to which she scowled and brushed past him to unplug her coffee maker and microwave and look around to see if she'd forgotten anything.

She grabbed a few more things from the living room and slipped them into her bag before she cast one last glance around the place she used to feel safe in.

"Ready?" Oliver asked, one bag in each hand.

She took her coat from the closet and nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

A sort of self-satisfied pride filled her as she watched Oliver carry, not pull, her bags all the way to the elevator and down to the trunk of the car. She knew he wasn't pulling them on purpose to try and goad her into saying something, but she just exchanged a knowing look with Digg and remained silent.

She stood on the curb and watched with a barely contained grin as Oliver made a show of hefting the suitcases into the trunk. Even Digg cracked a broad smile and by the time she got into the car she'd forgotten all about standing in the very spot the night before shivering and scared out of her mind.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you! You're the best readers ever! Seriously so glad everyone is loving this one. I'm already up to chapter 13(!) It's a hell of a ride but I think you'll appreciate it. I'd say I'm sorry for the cliffhanger but that would be a lie. I do that on purpose. :)**

** **Enjoy and let me know what you think.** **

_Previously in 'Times Like These'..._

_A sort of self-satisfied pride filled her as she watched Oliver carry, not pull, her bags all the way to the elevator and down to the trunk of the car. She knew he wasn't pulling them on purpose to try and goad her into saying something, but she just exchanged a knowing look with Digg and remained silent._

_She stood on the curb and watched with a barely contained grin as Oliver made a show of hefting the suitcases into the trunk. Even Digg cracked a broad smile and by the time she got into the car she'd forgotten all about standing in the very spot the night before shivering and scared out of her mind._

They only walked through the lobby of Queen Consolidated twenty minutes late and since Oliver didn't have a meeting until just before lunch it gave her time to get settled and find her feet again. She could feel his eyes on her through the glass but it was comforting more than intrusive, and if anyone thought it odd that Digg was standing sentry near the elevators they didn't say a word.

She was able to focus the majority of the day. Loud noises made her jump but she covered it quickly even though she knew Digg and Oliver noticed, but they were kind enough not to say anything. She didn't know if it was that she felt safe there, or that she knew she wouldn't be going home alone that night. But really she thought more than anything it was that this time no one doubted her. Seven years before she'd been on her own for too long before anyone else took her seriously, and by then it was almost too late. This time there was no question, and that went a long way to healing old wounds she didn't even know still existed.

Digg had arranged for lunch to be brought in by another member of the Queen's security staff so they wouldn't have to go out. They ate in Oliver's office as she detailed every single search engine, database, facial recognition program, and the other various ways she planned on finding Nate that night when they got to the lair.

Their afternoon was trouble free and soon enough they were making their way back down the executive elevator towards the parking garage. She knew normally Digg picked Oliver up out front for a quicker exit but with the way both of them were casting about vigilant eyes she figured they wanted as controlled an environment as possible.

As soon as she stepped foot in the lair she let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and felt an immediate sense of relief. Her shoulders lowered, muscles loosened, and the knot in her gut disappeared.

"Better?" Digg asked with a knowing look

"Yeah, nothing like an underground fortress to make you feel secure." she said as she crossed to her computers with a sure stride and flipped the monitors on.

She lost herself for the next several hours, barely looking up and noticing Oliver and Digg sparring as she searched for Nate. Hitting dead end after dead end she kept going until a heavy hand fell on her shoulder and she looked up in surprise to see Oliver standing next to her, dressed to leave, the smell of the soap he kept in the shower there surrounding him.

"Found anything?" he asked

"No." she said sharply, taking off her glasses and rubbing at her suddenly tired eyes. "He's been at the facility for seven years so...no driver's license, no credit card, no passport, no bank history, no rental cars. Just one plane ticket from Boston to Starling arriving first thing yesterday morning."

"Facial recognition?" he asked

She made a growling noise low in her throat and spun her chair back to the monitors, pointing to the one at the end, "Still running. I'm sure I'll pick him up at the airport, but other than that...unless he happens to walk past a CCTV…"

"Any idea where he's staying?"

"Could be anywhere. If he paid cash he'd be invisible. I even ran my aunt and uncle's credit cards but there doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary. Their bank records are proving more difficult to access, but I should be in there tomorrow." she scrubbed her hands wearily over her face and slid her glasses back on as she turned her attention to the screens. "He's basically a ghost."

Oliver's hand returned to her shoulder and slid across her back, leaving a trail of heat in it's path. "Well he's not going to be able to hide forever. And so far today he doesn't seem to know where you are. How about we head home?" her head whipped his direction at his use of the word 'home', but he didn't seem to have found anything wrong with it and was already standing and pulling her coat off the back of the chair.

"Oliver…" she protested weakly but he leveled her with a look and she knew he wasn't going to let her stay there alone. "Okay, but let me set it up so I get the alerts on my phone."

What should have been a five minute job stretched to almost another hour as she thought of a different data mining program she hadn't used yet that would cross reference anything from Nate or his parent's past before the seven years he was away to any potential connections he could have now. On a whim she added in the names of his lawyer, the judge who had heard his case, and the psychologist who had claimed he was better.

When large hands suddenly dropped over hers atop the keyboard she gasped and sat back, looking up to see Digg staring at her from the other side of the monitor and Oliver leaning across her from behind.

"I told you I just needed a few minutes." she said harder than she intended as she jerked her hands away and put them in her lap.

"Felicity, that was an hour ago." Digg said gently and her eyes flew to the clock to see he was telling the truth.

"Oh, god. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, we know how you are when you get into a zone. But it's late." he said and she nodded her agreement.

Oliver was now standing where she could see him and she gave him a sheepish smile and a shrug of her shoulders as she stood. He held her coat out for her and she slid her arms in, trying not to shiver when he pulled her hair out from under the collar. "Don't worry about it," he said in a whisper as he leaned close for a second. By the time she felt like she could breathe again he was five steps away and heading for the stairs.

With a sigh she turned her monitors off but left the searches running.

"I'll be at the mansion tonight." Digg said and a wave of guilt washed over her,

It must have been splashed all over her face because he caught her arm and waited for her to look at him. "Did you or did you not go to Russia and help me and Lyla break out of a gulag?"

She knew what he was doing and let out a long breath, "I did."

"And do you or do you not have my back every night I go out there?"

"I do," her voice was wispy now, and she had to swallow past a lump in her throat.

"Then stop feeling guilty about us helping you."

"Okay," she agreed and couldn't resist bouncing up on her toes so she could press a kiss to his cheek.

He gave a pretend huff of annoyance as they made their way to where Oliver waited at the foot of the stairs. Once again, his hand fell to her lower back as they headed out of the lair.

Neither man talked while Digg drove them back to the mansion and it didn't take long for her eyes to grow heavy as the stress of the past thirty-six hours and her restless sleep the night before caught up with her.

She woke up to hushed whispers and the soft shutting of a door. There was something solid beneath her cheek and she was somehow moving. When she peeked open her lashes she caught the now familiar sight of the Queen mansion's foyer, although this time the lighting was low and there was no one watching.

It took her longer than it should have to realize she was moving because Oliver was carrying her again. She pushed one hand into his chest and brought her head up as he stilled. "It's alright, I've got you." he said quietly and she contemplated doing as he said. His arms were strong and warm under her and being held by him made her heart do flip after flip. But her brain told her she was entering dangerous waters and she should keep things like they had been.

He'd started walking again when she looked ahead and caught sight of Moira Queen, poised at the top of the staircase, looking imperious in a cream silk dressing gown. Her expression gave away nothing, but suddenly the last place Felicity knew she should be was Oliver's arms.

"Put me down!" she hissed, struggling so fiercely he had no choice but to pause and readjust his grip. "Oliver! Put me down! Your mother is watching and I am perfectly capable of walking. Please, put me down!" her hushed ranting carried in the large space and she had a feeling Moira had heard every word.

Reluctantly he lowered her legs until they touched the next step up from him. His arm remained wrapped around her waist until he knew she was steady and then she turned, face flaming to look at the Queen matriarch.

Oliver joined her on the same step and planted a hand in her back to urge her to keep walking. She stumbled as she moved her leaden feet and he leaned in to whisper, "I thought you said you could walk."

She shot him a glare and made it the rest of the way up the stairs without incident. When they reached the top she remained silent, not knowing what she could possibly say or what Oliver had already told his mother about why she was there.

But Moira merely spared them a single glance before she looked over Oliver's shoulder at Digg who was currently bringing her bags in.

"I've had the Green Room in the East Wing opened up, Mr. Diggle. You can take Ms. Smoak's belongings there." she said evenly although she gave Oliver a look that spoke volumes and Felicity suddenly felt very very ill at ease.

"Mrs. Queen, I'm very sorry for intruding. I can...I can go to a hotel." she stammered, and whipped her head to look at Oliver, "Really, I can. I can go to a hotel. This is too much. I understand. I shouldn't have…" before she could stop the words coming out of her mouth or even register that Oliver had taken her by the arm she was looking back at Moira, "I know what you're probably thinking but Oliver, he's just being a friend. I don't know what he told you but there's someone sort of after me. Well, it's hard to explain. But my apartment isn't safe. He broke in there. It wasn't good. And I appreciate the offer to stay here because...you live in a castle and castles were made to withstand wars, there's just not a moat. But you're a Queen, so…." she finally stopped herself and dropped her eyes as tears gathered behind them. She hadn't been on a ramble that horrible in a long time and of course it would have to be in front of Moira Queen of all people.

"Ms. Smoak, you are more than welcome here. Oliver told me about his concerns for your safety last night. If you need anything please let any member of the household staff know. I hope to see you at breakfast." she gave Felicity a warm smile and laid a hand on her son's arm as she passed.

They were both quiet until she disappeared from sight and then Felicity whirled on Oliver. "Oh my god! Why didn't you stop me? Why didn't you say anything?" she cried as she swatted at his arm. She felt embarrassed and like she was about to burst into tears as her frazzled nerves were rubbed raw from the encounter.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't exactly sure how." he admitted, looking genuinely lost and she had to stop and smile as she sagged against him slightly.

Digg was waiting at the end of the hall and they passed by Oliver's room which she tried to ignore. It would be so easy to just turn left, and crawl between the familiar sheets she'd been so comfortable in just that morning.

Feeling Oliver's eyes on her she quickly cleared her throat and looked ahead, but not before glancing at him and seeing something she didn't expect. He looked like he may have been having the same thought.

It felt like ages before Digg turned down two more hallways and finally stopped in front of a door. Oliver gave a rueful shake of his head as he turned the handle, "Literally on the other side of the house. I think my mother is trying to prove a point."

He pushed in and flipped a light switch illuminating a room that was almost the size of her entire apartment. It had green brocade wallpaper, and a four poster bed with a comforter so thick it looked like if she lay on it she'd become lost. There was a small sitting space in front of a large bay window and a giant chandelier hung from the ceiling.

"Wow," she said, mouth falling open in shock. "This is nicer than the nicest hotel room I've ever been in." she admitted, trailing her fingers over the bedding and turning to see that there was even a fireplace on the other side of the room.

"This is Mom's favorite guest room." Oliver informed her as Digg carried the bags in and entered another door that must have been a closet. "She reserves it for very special guests." he emphasized the word 'guests' and she cocked her head quizzically.

He scraped a rough hand over the back of his head before he answered, "My mother is concerned about the image we could portray to the public. EA...CEO." his hand waved back and forth between them and her stomach sank as she understood what he was getting at.

"But we already have that image," she said, confused. She'd been subjected to the gossip right after her promotion. Luckily it had seemed the die down lately.

"Well apparently she's unaware, or maybe she's very aware. Her putting you in here is to make it clear you are a guest, and expected to stay in the guest wing of the house."

"And not your bed," she added before she could stop herself, breath catching as Oliver's eyes flew to hers.

"Something like that," he said, and she could have sworn his voice was just a touch deeper than normal.

Digg joined them and she was grateful for the interruption. "Bags are put away. There will be an agent in the hallway all night. If you press number nine on the house line you'll get the guard house at the entrance. I'll be just out back in the guest house tonight. You have my number. Use it if you need to. I mean it."

"I will. I promise." she told him and tried to ignore the cold that seemed to be creeping into her veins the closer she got to being alone for the first time since she'd opened her medicine cabinet.

"I need to go talk to the detail. Get a good nights sleep, okay? Or at least try." he pulled her in for a quick hug as he passed and then it was just her and Oliver.

Her eyes darted nervously around the room and she licked her lips twice before she risked looking at Oliver.

"If this is too much or you want to move to a different room we can do that." she knew what he was offering her and it sent a warmth through her.

"I'll be fine." she assured him, "Really. I'm just so grateful you're letting me stay here and the extra security and...thank you."

He was right in front of her then, his hands clasping hers where they wrapped around herself. "Of course, I just...I need you safe."

Their eyes locked and she swore she could feel the electrical charge in the air between them.

"I'm safe here, with you." she told him and watched, amazed, as his eyes fell shut.

His fingers squeezed hers and then he was stepping back, "You know where I am if you need me." he said as he made his way to the door.

She followed him and stood in the threshold as he exited. At the end of the hall she could see a man in a dark suit, hands clasped in front of him and knew he had to be the agent Digg had mentioned.

"Maybe I should have left a trail of breadcrumbs back to your room." she joked

"Two lefts and a right," he said with a soft smile

"I'll try and remember that."

"Goodnight, Felicity."

"Goodnight, Oliver."

She watched as he made his way down the hall, hands stuffed into the pockets of his cargo pants. He nodded to the agent and then turned and lifted a hand her direction before he continued on, out of sight.

With a sigh she went back into the room, not knowing how to process everything that had happened in the past day, especially things with Oliver and decided quickly that she couldn't do that right then. It was just too much.

Feeling more and more drained she got changed on autopilot. The opulence of the bathroom woke her momentarily and she eyed the deep, jetted tub appreciatively. Face washed, glasses off, and hair in a braid she left the light on again as she headed straight for the bed.

The sheets and mattress were just as soft and plush as the ones in Oliver's room, and as she snuggled into the pillow and pulled the comforter up around her neck she realized there was only one problem. They didn't smell right.

She thought there was a chance she'd lie awake, her mind unable to stop working as she tried to find another way to track Nate, but she fell asleep almost immediately.

However, when the nightmare hit her she'd later wished she'd sat up all night instead.

She was trapped in an apartment that was a mix of her old one from college and her current. In the dream she was running, constantly running, one room moving into another but never ending. And right behind her, arms stretched out trying to catch her was Nate, yelling the name 'Jenny', as she tried to scream for someone to help her.

But her calls were stuck in her throat, and as she moved from room to room the terror she felt was overwhelming. He was going to catch her, and he was going to hurt her.

A loud noise jerked her to a place where she was still half asleep and fearing for her life. The strange room, low light, and her lack of glasses left her disoriented and unable to make out anything other than a large, unfamiliar figure silhouetted in the open door.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you! The story is going so well and I'm so excited to share it so you get another chapter. No cliffhanger this time. I'll be nice. For now. :)**

**Enjoy, and let me know what you think.**

_Previously in 'Times Like These'..._

_She thought there was a chance she'd lie awake, her mind unable to stop working as she tried to find another way to track Nate, but she fell asleep almost immediately._

_However, when the nightmare hit her she'd later wished she'd sat up all night instead._

_She was trapped in an apartment that was a mix of her old one from college and her current. In the dream she was running, constantly running, one room moving into another but never ending. And right behind her, arms stretched out trying to catch her was Nate, yelling the name 'Jenny', as she tried to scream for someone to help her._

_But her calls were stuck in her throat, and as she moved from room to room the terror she felt was overwhelming. He was going to catch her, and he was going to hurt her._

_A loud noise jerked her to a place where she was still half asleep and fearing for her life. The strange room, low light, and her lack of glasses left her disoriented and unable to make out anything other than a large, unfamiliar figure silhouetted in the open door._

She screamed in terror as she scrambled backwards, knees crashing to the floor before she forced herself upright and looked around frantically for somewhere to run.

The person at the door was speaking, but her ears were ringing and she wasn't even sure she was awake. The thought that Nate could have gotten into the mansion was too frightening to consider.

Trying to calm her rapidly racing heart she made her way slowly to the foot of the bed, only taking her eyes away from the intruder long enough to look around the room for a weapon.

The fireplace was only five steps behind her now and she backed up cautiously hand stretching behind her until she made contact with the cold iron of the poker. She drew it from the stand and held it in front of her.

Then just as suddenly the man was gone, leaving nothing but an empty doorway behind him. She sank to the carpet on wobbly legs, still holding the poker as she shook and tried to figure out if she was still dreaming or not.

The silence was more unnerving that anything. She knew she should get up and get to the phone like Digg had told her, but she couldn't seem to get her body to respond. It wasn't until there was another barrage of noise a few minutes later that her head jerked up.

She could hear thundering footsteps and a loud voice calling her name getting progressively closer. The grip she had on the poker tightened until Oliver, Digg, and two men she didn't know burst through the doorway.

Felicity let out a gasping sob of relief as Oliver skidded to his knees next to her, hands dropping to her shoulders as he pulled her to him.

"Hey, hey, you're okay." he crooned into her hair and she sagged against him as she let her mind catch up with what was happening.

A warm hand on hers made her sit up some and look down to see Digg prying the poker from her clenched fist. "Good job," he said quietly and then backed off to talk to the other men.

One of them now looked familiar, "Oh! You...he…" she pointed and Oliver and everyone else turned to watch her.

"I'm the agent on duty, ma'am. I heard noises from the room and came to check but...my presence seemed to frighten you. I notified Mr. Diggle and Mr. Queen as directed. My apologies, ma'am." he said stiffly and her cheeks flushed,

"There wasn't an intruder. Nate wasn't here." she said more to herself than anyone else.

Oliver's arm wrapped around her shoulders, the warmth of him was welcome. The tank top and shorts she'd slept in were now leaving her cold as the adrenaline wore off and her sweat soaked skin cooled.

"You had a bad dream, that's all."

She buried her face in her hands, "Oh god, he's getting inside my head. I know better."

Oliver pulled her closer and tucked her head under his chin as she took long deep breaths to try and center herself. It was on the third breath that she realized he didn't have a shirt on, which only caused her breath to stutter again.

There were more voices at the door and she peeked through her fingers to see Digg ushering out the other agents while Moira and Thea hovered just outside.

"Oliver, is everything alright? We heard screaming and yelling but Mr. Diggle said there wasn't a security breach." Moira asked while Thea pushed past her into the room.

"Are you alright?" it was Thea and Felicity was surprised by the kindness in her voice.

Feeling very exposed, and very awkward she pushed away from Oliver and scrambled off the floor to unsteady feet. He rose immediately next to her, a hand extended like he thought she might fall any second.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry if I woke you up. It was just a bad dream and then I didn't know if I was awake or not and...I'm just sorry." she stammered,

"It's okay, you've got some crazy stalker guy after you. I'd be freaked out too." Thea said with a shudder and Felicity couldn't help but give her a tight smile. "But seriously Mom, extra security inside and out and you put the poor girl all the way over here by herself? What's with that? If I were her I'd rather be near people." she turned a pointed look at Moira who had the grace to drop her chin minutely.

"Perhaps that was an oversight on my part." she conceded and exchanged a look of her own with Oliver.

"Why don't you two go back to bed." he suggested, taking a step forward as his hand came to rest low on Felicity's waist. She wanted to do nothing more than to press herself into his solid, secure warmth once again and forget the past couple of days hadn't happened. But she couldn't do that in front of his family.

Moira nodded once and reached an arm out for her daughter, "Thea, let's leave Ms. Smoak to get resettled. Wherever that may be." her final words were said evenly, and without judgement and Felicity felt Oliver's fingers tighten on her hip.

She waited until she could no longer hear them and then she stepped out of Oliver's grasp. The heels of her hands came up to press over her eyes as she tried to calm her erratic thoughts. "I'm sorry. He's getting into my head and messing with me. I really thought he was here."

One strong hand wrapped around the nape of her neck while the other slid over her back and drew her slowly into him. He didn't say a word, he just held her as she slowly relaxed. Eventually her hands fell from her face to rest against his chest and after she took one shuddering breath she gave in and laid her cheek on his warm flesh and let her arms band about his back.

He let out a long exhale of his own and tightened his hold on her. The hand on her back rubbed slow circles across the thin cotton of her shirt, the heat from his palm seeming to grow hotter with each pass. When the fingers of his other hand began to lightly massage her stiff neck she couldn't' stifle the low moan that escaped her throat and they both stilled at that.

This time it was Oliver that pulled back and she looked everywhere but at him until he caught her chin and directed her gaze towards his. There was so much in his eyes she felt like she was being pulled under. "Do you want to stay in here?" he asked throatily and a bolt of desire shot through her at his tone. The slight darkening of his eyes made her wonder if he'd seen something in her expression.

Her head shook left to right before she could get the words out. "No. I'm sorry. It's a beautiful room but…" and she didn't want to stay there. She didn't want to be alone.

"That's all you have to say." his hand skimmed down her arm, leaving goosebumps in it's wake until he reached her hand. He wrapped his fingers around hers and squeezed tight. "Come on, you need sleep. And so do I. I didn't like having you over here either."

The breath caught in her throat at his admission. "You weren't sleeping?" she asked as he turned and began to tow her towards the door. He snagged her phone and glasses from the bedside table before they exited, but didn't hand them over.

"I kept thinking about how long it would take to get to you if something happened. And then I got the call from the agent and...I found out how long it would take. Too damn long."

She couldn't speak after hearing that and settled for slipping her fingers through his until their palms touched.

They made their way into the hallway, and she barely paid attention as he lead her back towards his room. At the first juncture the agent who had scared her so badly fell into step behind them. When they finally reached Oliver's room he took up a station outside the door.

Her resolve faded a bit when she was once again inside his space. But Oliver didn't hesitate. He walked towards the bed and pulled back the still perfectly made covers, supporting his claim that he hadn't been sleeping.

"Go on," he said, and gestured towards the sheets she'd loved so much the night before.

"Oliver…" she protested, not knowing how she felt about getting back into his bed again. Things were shifting quickly with them and she knew he felt it too.

"Felicity. We need sleep. It's just sleep. Get in the bed."

Hearing him say those words made the low pool of heat in her belly spring to life and a flush rise in her chest. "Okay," she said, barely audible and before she could second guess what she was doing she climbed in and scooted over.

She heard a clunk and another softer sound as he sat her phone and glasses down and then there was a dip and he was sliding between the sheets as well.

Heart pounding she forced herself to lay as still as possible as he got comfortable, one hand slipping behind his head as he lay on his back.

Thinking it would be better if she wasn't looking at him she turned on her side and curled into a ball, an ocean of mattress now between them. If he knew what she was doing and why he decided to let it go.

They exchanged whispered goodnights and she didn't lay there long before she was once again asleep.

She didn't know if it was Oliver's presence, or her exhaustion, or a combination of the two, but she slept soundly and didn't wake until the room was lit with morning light and a repeating noise from her phone made her crack open her eyes.

All she knew was she was warm and comfortable and the noise was annoying. She didn't want to move, and when there was a bit of silence she sighed gratefully and turned into the solid presence behind her.

Her phone began again and she groaned. There was a shifting next to her and she pushed up on one arm to see the offending device on the table across from Oliver. Without thought she reached over his bare chest where she was currently half draped and snatched the phone up with an irritated growl. She muted the phone and laid her head back down on his shoulder as his hand slipped over her hip, thumb drawing circles on her exposed skin.

She was sleepy and content, and it wasn't until his other hand reached up and moved away hair that had escaped her braid that she went still, realizing exactly what she was doing.

A low humming sound came from deep in his chest and she heard him mumble her name as his hold on her tightened.

With her heart pounding, worried about what he would do when he woke up she didn't dare move. Breath by breath she let herself relax back into him, telling herself not to enjoy how perfect and natural it felt to lay there in his arms.

The hand on her hip was still occasionally swirling around the sensitive skin, his fingers sliding easily under the hem of her shirt where it had pushed up while she'd slept. Tingles of electricity seemed to skitter from wherever he touched and she let her traitorous thoughts stray to places it shouldn't.

The phone was still clutched in her hand where it rested on the center of Oliver's chest and she was staring at the almost surreal sight when the screen lit up again with what she could now see was a text.

The three texts still viewable were from a number she didn't recognize and at first she assumed they were a wrong number until the name that each text began with resonated with her.

_'Jenny-No one can keep me away from you!'_

_'Jenny-Stop ignoring me or you'll be sorry!'_

_'Jenny-why aren't you answering me?'_

She forgot all about trying to stay still as she pushed off of Oliver's chest and scrambled to sit up thumbing on her phone to look at the other texts she'd received.

Each one made her stomach churn as she read them with horror.

_'Jenny-I need you!'_

_'Jenny-You can't hide from me forever.'_

_'Jenny-I waited for you all night'_

_'Jenny-You why aren't you at your apartment'_

Hand covering her open mouth, a thousand questions ran through her mind. The biggest one however, was how Nate had gotten her phone number.

So distracted by the texts she hadn't noticed when Oliver had woken up. It wasn't until a warm hand ran up her arm and she felt his breath in her ear that she noticed he was awake.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, immediately on alert. She jerked her head up and to the side so she could see him, no longer phased by his nearness. He had one hand braced behind her as he leaned forward to see what she was looking at.

Soundlessly she handed him the phone and let herself sink back half an inch until she made contact with him, the twisting fear in her gut abating some by the unspoken comfort he gave her.

Every muscle in his body seemed to tense at once as he read. "How did he get your number?" he asked harshly,

She shook her head and took the phone back before she answered, "I don't know. It's not listed, I'm very careful with who I give it out to...I have no idea how he got it."

"Do you recognize the number it came from?" he'd sat up straighter and pulled away from her some which made her shiver. The sheets were pooled in both their laps, leaving her bare arms exposed to the cooler air of the room.

"No, I'll run the usual traces but I'd bet it's a burner phone. I could probably find a general location for where the texts were sent from but…" a dark thought crossed her mind and she had to pause and take a deep breath through her nose before she could voice it, "God... they were sent either from my apartment or near there, I'm sure of it."

A low growl rumbled from him and she only felt grateful when he wrapped an arm around her waist, hand splayed across her abdomen and tugged her into him. She went without resistance, turning so she could curl against his side.

"You're not going back there until he's caught." Oliver said and she swore she felt his lips brush her temple before he was setting her back and sliding from the bed.

"I'm going to call Digg, he'll want to see those." he was already halfway across the room heading for the desk where his phone sat.

Her mouth went dry as she saw how low his sweats rested on his hips and almost got caught staring when he came back her way, phone in one hand, grey hoodie in the other.

"Digg, I need you to come up to the house." he said into the phone, wordlessly handing her the hoodie. When she quirked a confused brow at him he turned the phone slightly away from his mouth, "You're cold," he mouthed before he turned his attention back to Digg.

"We'll show you when you get up here." he replied to Digg's question and hung up.

Slowly she slid her arms into the sleeves and pulled it over her shoulders. He'd worn it earlier because his scent still lingered and it took everything in her not to turn her nose into the fabric and inhale. She rolled the cuffs and adjusted it around her before she looked up to see him staring at her, a look in his eyes she'd never seen before.

Felicity cleared her throat and ran a nervous hand over her head before she looked around and leaned across the bed to grab her glasses. She turned her phone back on and busied herself doing what she could with her limited resources as a way to ignore whatever was going on between her and Oliver.

When Digg arrived a few minutes later Oliver had slipped on a t-shirt and was pacing next to the bed. She only noticed when there was a rap on the door and Digg pushed in that she was still sitting in the middle of Oliver's bed.

Deciding she'd have to try and act as nonplussed as possible she straightened up and made sure the texts were on her screen as he approached them. His dark eyes cast an appraising look over both of them and she didn't miss the slight narrowing there that let her know he didn't totally approve.

"Here," she said a little more enthusiastically than necessary, holding the phone out to him, "I don't know how he got the number. I'll run everything I can when we get to the lair but...he was at my apartment. Somehow...I just know that's where he was." her shoulders contracted in an involuntary shiver and she watched Digg's jaw tighten as he read through the messages.

"Can I send these to Lance? Maybe this will be enough to get someone posted at your apartment."

She nodded her consent and looked at the clock, shocked to see it was later than she'd expected. "Crap, we're going to be late for work." she said in a rush and hurried to throw the covers back and climb from the bed. Oliver and Digg had both backed up as she moved past and then stopped suddenly. "All my things are still in the other room."

Oliver stepped forward, "Go take a shower and I'll have someone bring your things over. We'll stop by the lair first so you can do what you need to do."

"Oliver...you had a meeting at ten this morning…"

"And it can be rescheduled. Nothing is more important right now." he said seriously and she had to swallow heavily at the intensity in his eyes.

"Okay," she whispered, and before she could say or do something she shouldn't she made her way into the bathroom without looking back.

Her mind was whirling as she turned on the shower and stripped, taking the hoodie off reluctantly. It wasn't until she'd unbraided her hair and was standing under the hot spray that the fact she was naked in Oliver's shower resonated within her.

A flash of how they'd woken up came to the forefront of her mind and a warm, happy feeling filled her. For just one minute she let herself want that. She let herself believe that was possible, that it was something she could have everyday. The attraction she'd had for him had only grown over the past six months since he'd been back and it wasn't something she could ignore any longer. He'd done and said things that made her think it wasn't completely one-sided, and that tiny bit of hope was quickly growing out of control.

She didn't know how long she'd been standing there day dreaming and had to force herself to hurry through the rest of her shower. When she got out and dried off she had the very real issue of only having a towel to wear. Cheeks already pink she cracked the door open and looked out but saw no one, she also didn't see her bags.

Tip-toeing across the carpet she was looking to see if Digg had left her phone when a woman in a uniform emerged from the closet. "Oh, Miss Felicity, your bags have been moved as requested."

Feeling extremely self-conscious Felicity mumbled out a thank you and waited for the woman to leave before she half ran to the closet before anyone else could catch her without any clothes on.

She was expecting to see her suitcases stacked off to the side. The sight that greeted her was enough to make her knees weak. Her bags had been unpacked. Not only had they been unpacked they had been hung up. In Oliver's closet.

Her work dresses hung on a rack next to his suits and her other clothes were folded on open shelves, her shoes sitting next to his on a long rack. She was dumbstruck at the want that washed over her.

She was so affected by seeing her things so easily mingled with his that when he entered the closet behind her and immediately apologized she didn't hear him at first.

Felicity whirled on the spot when he called her name as she clutched the top of her towel tightly.

"Oliver!" she blurted out, "I'm sorry. I...I didn't think they'd do this. This is...too much. I could have just taken my things out of the suitcase, it would have been fine. I don't want to impose. I mean, more than I already have."

He took two steps forward and she didn't miss how he took in her clothes mixed with his.

"Felicity, it's okay. I told them to put your things in here." he assured her, but his voice was tight and had a timbre to it she'd never heard before.

There was only a foot between them and it was suddenly hard to breathe. His eyes darkened as he leaned closer and she was sure there was no more air entering her lungs and she didn't dare blink.

When his hand coasted over her cheek her eyes fell shut, his name tripping off her tongue at a whisper.

"You should get dressed."

But the words sounded forced and her eyes flew open to see him closer than ever. She watched as a war raged inside him and with one more drag of his knuckles across her cheek he dropped his hand and stepped back before he left the room.

She let out a ragged breath and then forced herself to focus on what she needed to do. Spending time wondering what was going on between her and Oliver when Nate was out there didn't do anyone any good.

However, as she got dressed, standing in the largest closet she'd ever seen, surrounded by Oliver's things she knew that would be easier said than done. And her cheek still tingled where he'd touched her.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I can't promise you'll be getting new updates every day. So don't get greedy! But I'm feeling generous. And maybe a bit evil. And when you get to the end you'll know why. :)**

**Enjoy, and I can't wait to hear what you think.**

Twenty minutes later she was ready to go. Her phone was nowhere to be found and she assumed it was still in Digg's possession. She'd had one more slightly awkward encounter with Oliver when he'd come back to the closet for a forgotten tie while she was slipping her shoes on. It was the easy, natural familiarity of the action that struck her and she knew she hadn't been able to hide her reaction from him. However, it was made easier or maybe harder that he hadn't been able to mask his face either.

They made their way silently down the hallway, coats thrown over their arms, the large bag she used for work clutched tightly in her right hand. As they walked down the stairs his hand hovered near her elbow and she had to focus more than she should have on each step to make sure she didn't stumble.

Moira met them in the foyer and Felicity immediately felt a rush of guilt and embarrassment at not only having woken the entire house, but how she knew she'd spent the rest of the night in Oliver's room.

"Good morning, Mother." Oliver said evenly, crossing to buss her on the cheek.

"Good morning, dear, Ms. Smoak."

Felicity somehow managed to return the greeting around a thick tongue and tried to look everywhere but at the other woman.

"Breakfast is ready, you should eat before you head into the office." the way she spoke let them know there was really no room for argument.

A maid appeared from out of the shadows and took both their coats and Felicity's bag before she knew what was happening and Oliver sent her a resigned look that told her to just go with it.

"Breakfast sounds perfect, ." she said with a tight smile

"Excellent, Thea and Roy are already waiting." her hand extended out behind her and Felicity just caught the muscle ticking in Oliver's jaw that told her he didn't want to be there.

His hand fell to the small of her back again and she could feel the heat through the material of her dress. Touching her there seemed like something he did now, something that was so automatic and normal he didn't even seem to know he was doing it. But she was very aware.

She assumed they'd be going to the dining room. She'd only seen it once, a smaller investor dinner Oliver had hosted and he'd insisted he'd needed her for. She spent most of the night in the kitchen eating leftovers with the extra staff that had been hired. Digg had offered to drive her home when it was over she'd grabbed an expensive bottle of wine off the sideboard and sent Oliver a challenging glare as she'd stalked out of there.

However, the dining room was dark and with slight pressure he directed her down a hallway to the right which opened up into a large, bright, open breakfast room that overlooked a formal garden.

Thea and Roy were already seated, Roy looking slightly awkward as he sat staring at the other three empty seats, but Thea smiled broadly when she saw them and Felicity couldn't help but smile back.

"Sit here!" she said brightly and patted the chair next to her.

Felicity exchanged a small look with Oliver who shot his sister a warning glare that she pointedly ignored. She wasn't expecting him to pull the chair out for her, or to lean in and whisper "Good luck" in her ear, making her shiver.

She took a long drink of the orange juice that sat in front of her and then blushed when she noticed no one else had touched their food or drink yet as they had been waiting for everyone to be seated.

"Oh, god. Sorry." she said quickly and sat the heavy goblet down, managing to send a wave of juice over the edge to trickle slowly down the side.

"Don't worry about it. Roy snuck a piece of bacon when he didn't think I was looking." Thea said conspiratorially which resulted in Roy letting out a betrayed huff and Felicity giving her a grateful smile.

"Please eat. I know you all need to get to work." Moira said easily, placing a white napkin delicately in her lap.

Felicity decided to not make a move until Oliver did and managed to make it through taking her napkin off her plate and pouring a cup of coffee without incident before Thea let out an indelicate snort causing Oliver to pause with the pitcher of cream poised over Felicity's cup.

"Have something to say, Speedy?" he asked

"Just wondering how long you two have been doing that." she said with a nod towards their coffee.

"Doing what?" he asked, brows drawn together in true confusion.

"She just put the correct amount of sugar in your cup and you're about to pour the correct amount of cream into hers. Just an observation brother dear."

Felicity sat back in surprise, she hadn't realized they did that.

Oliver broke out of his temporary stupor and finished pouring the cream, making sure to lock his gaze on Thea as he did so. "Sometimes I pick up the coffee in the morning, sometimes she does. I don't think how I take my coffee is a state secret."

Thea narrowed her eyes and looked at them suspiciously. "Ok, I'll give you that." but there was a tone there that made Felicity sit up and take notice.

There was a bit of small talk. Moira asked some questions about an upcoming merger and Felicity was grateful for a topic that didn't make her feel like she was under a microscope. She still felt like Thea was studying her though.

"Well, I'm assuming you slept better since I didn't hear anything else the rest of the night." The younger girl said when there was a lull in the conversation. There was a slight upturn of her lips and Roy and Oliver both whipped their heads to look at her in surprise.

Felicity froze with her fork halfway to her mouth, appetite suddenly gone. For about five minutes she'd forgotten about Nate, and the hair dye, and being driven from her home, and waking up to creepy texts. She'd just been enjoying breakfast with Oliver and his family, even if it was a bit nerve wracking. Now her nightmare slammed back to her and her numb fingers let the fork fall to the plate with a clatter.

Oliver's hand clamped around her knee and rubbed small circles into the spot just below the hem of her dress as he practically growled at his sister, "Was that really necessary?"

"I'm sorry, she just seemed really upset earlier and she seems better now. And I still don't understand why mom put her all the way over there. You two are adults you...do adult things even if you don't want anyone to know. Which, I get. I mean, with your past Ollie, the whole CEO, secretary thing is practically an expected cliche and the press would eat it up with a spoon if they ever caught wind. But here. You shouldn't have to hide anything, that's all I was getting at." she calmly buttered a piece of toast and turned innocent eyes their way.

Felicity felt her face flame at Thea's implications and Oliver's hand stilled before slowly pulling away.

"We're not...that's...we're...friends. Just friends. And your brother was kind enough to let me stay here and provide the extra security. I can't say how much I appreciate it." she stammered out, wondering why Oliver wasn't saying anything, but not daring to look at him.

Thea looked surprised and genuinely contrite. "Sorry, I guess I just got the wrong impression then. I'm glad you're here, really."

There was a long moment of silence and Felicity had just cleared her throat and moved to pick up her fork when Oliver spoke. "What made you think that?"

She could tell how hard he was trying to keep his voice even, but there was a tightness there she recognized.

Felicity curled her fingers into the palm of her hand and turned her head slightly so she could see Thea who gave a little shrug as she addressed her brother. "Just, last night. You didn't have a shirt on and Felicity didn't exactly act like it was the first time she'd seen your scars. In fact they didn't' seem to phase her at all."

She felt Oliver freeze next to her, as time seemed to still and her brain went blank in pure panic. Never would she have ever thought they'd be found out because of that.

Oliver recovered first and for once had a lie that didn't sound completely ridiculous. "Just because Felicity knows about my scars doesn't mean we're in a relationship."

Thea considered his words and held up her hands in mock surrender, "Okay, I give up." she wiped her mouth and looked over at Roy, "Ready to go?" he practically leapt to his feet, anxious to get away from the uncomfortable meal.

"We're out. Sorry for the drama. And really, I am glad you're here. You seem like a nice, normal girl. You're obviously too good for my brother." she gave her mother a kiss, and breezed out with Roy on her heels leaving the rest of them to deal with the vacuum of her exit.

There was deafening silence as no one dared speak. Felicity had never been more glad to hear the scrape of chair legs on a floor than she was when Oliver stood abruptly and practically threw his napkin on the table. She was on her feet right behind him, and barely managed to stutter out a thank you to Moira before she was striding from the room, doing everything she could to out pace Oliver without breaking into a run. She didn't' think she could handle him touching her just then.

Oliver was already calling out for the maid as he entered the foyer, his deep voice booming around the large space. He took both their coats when the woman appeared almost instantly and helped Felicity into hers even though she tried to just take it from him. Digg was waiting by the door, sharp eyes noticing everything. When he caught her looking at him he silently asked if everything was okay since she and Oliver were being oddly quiet.

Her attention was drawn when Oliver handed her her bag and took her elbow as they left the house. When the door shut behind them he stopped and turned so quickly Digg had to neatly sidestep around them, pausing only long enough to notice Oliver was waiting for him to give them a moment of privacy.

"I'm sorry about Thea," he said, low, an undercurrent of anger running through him.

"It's okay, she doesn't know." she replied quickly, not sure where this conversation could be going and not knowing if it was the best time for it either. "Look, I know what it looks like. I hear the talk. It's nothing new, not since I was promoted. And coming to and from work with you now in your car probably isn't going to help that but...what other choice do we have. So let's just get to the lair so I can run these searches and try and figure out where he is so he can be caught and things can go back to normal." and before he could reply she spun on her heel and hurried down the steps, taking her phone from Digg's palm as he opened the car door for her.

By the time Oliver slid in next to her she was already pretending to be busy with something on her phone, and in actuality she was reviewing all the data mining hits she'd programed to send her alerts for the night before.

They arrived at the lair without incident, neither Oliver nor Digg pushing her to talk and when she was back in front of her computers she felt a weight lift from her shoulders.

But it had been harder to concentrate than it should have been and took her twice the time to trace back the cell signal and find where the texts had been sent from. Even though she'd already known in her gut he'd sent them from her apartment the evidence staring back at her on the screen made her insides run cold.

She sat back and let her hands fall to her lap as Digg and Oliver came up to flank her. "It's not always a good feeling when you're right." she said in a weak voice. Oliver's hand clasped her shoulder and she was very glad for the contact as he squeezed it gently.

"We'll get him." Digg said, sounding more sure than she felt. "You want to call Lance and let him know or do you want me to?"

"I should. I don't want him getting suspicious of you knowing that I can do things like trace cell signals."

Feeling heavy and tired she rolled her chair back and slid her phone off the desk. "I can make the call in the car. We're already more than late as it is."

"Felicity, I told you, it's not important." the sincerity she saw in his eyes was almost more than enough to make her give up on the minute hold she had on her emotions just then.

"It's important to me. I feel guilty enough, I don't need you adding busted deals, and the wrath of Isabel Rochev to my list, okay." her eyes were beginning to water and she cursed herself for being so sensitive.

She tried to turn away but he grabbed her arm near her elbow and wouldn't let her go. "Hey. Stop. Right now, this is our mission, okay. Nothing else matters. You're too important to m...to the team." her breath caught as he paused and shook his head sharply, "No, you're too important to me. I'm not going to let you get hurt. And I'm not going to let you feel guilty. I will do whatever I have to do to make sure you're safe, and I need you to understand that." his eyes locked on hers, their ability to have silent, pleading conversations without words once again taking precedence and she became lost in swirling blue eyes that for a few brief moments betrayed everything to her.

His hand left her elbow and came to rest lightly against her cheek, making her breath catch as she stared at him. She was assaulted by images from that morning: sleeping in his bed, waking up in his arms, her clothes mixed with his, getting ready for work together. It was almost too much and yet she found herself wanting more and trying to reconcile both of those was leaving her feeling raw and ragged.

She took a deep centering breath and leaned into his touch, letting her eyes fall shut briefly as she allowed herself a moment. "Thank you," she whispered before she looked at him, surprised to see a shift in his eyes as well.

"Oliver…"

"Not now." but his tone was soft and she knew what he was saying. What was happening was important and it deserved their attention, but right then was not the time.

"Okay," she agreed, giving him a small smile as his fingers stroked over her cheek and fell down to her shoulder, thumb rubbing along her collarbone and sending small sparks of electricity down her spine.

Digg cleared his throat from the other side of the room and she jumped back, quickly grabbing her coat and bag while risking a glance at Oliver to see him shooting his partner a glare. Digg just looked on, face betraying nothing.

They were quiet in the car while she called Lance. He'd cursed under his breath when she told him where the texts had been made from and told her they'd put a car on her building that night, although she had a feeling Nate wouldn't be going back there.

As soon as she'd hung up with Lance, her phone rang and she saw Oliver's head turn sharply, not even hiding the fact that he was looking at the screen to see who it was. They both let out small sighs of relief when it turned out to be her mother.

"Felicity, how are you?" she asked immediately, her worry and concern more than obvious.

"I'm okay, Mom. Promise." Felicity replied, forcing her voice to sound more upbeat than she felt.

There was a long pause and a gnawing feeling began to claw at her gut, "Mom…"

"I went to see your aunt and uncle yesterday. They wouldn't take my calls and...I couldn't just sit here and do nothing."

"Oh Mom." she breathed out. The fallout in the family hadn't been that hard on Felicity, but she knew losing contact with the brother she'd always been close with had hurt her mother.

"Well, Diane almost wouldn't let me in the house, but I've always suspected she never liked our side of the family." the bitterness in her tone almost made Felicity crack a smile, she'd always known her mother and her aunt had harbored some animosity for each other.

"What did they say?" she prodded,

Her mother gave a dark laugh, "They said he was better. That he said he wanted to get away and have some alone time since he'd been in that place for so many years."

Felicity rubbed her fingers over her temple and sighed heavily, "He's not better. He's played them all."

"They didn't believe me when I told them he went to Starling City. They said he wanted to go to the beach and be by himself."

"Oh god, they helped him then, didn't they? That's how he got the plane ticket and the money he's been using." a warm hand wrapped around hers and squeezed gently, not letting go.

"They bought him an open ended ticket, and gave him a stack of gift cards that could be used as cash...He's been...Dan said he's been calling every day and telling them all about the resort he's at. I'm still not sure they believe that he came to see you."

"I'm sure they don't. They never believed me the first time, even after the police reports." Oliver held her hand tighter and she looked over to see him staring at her in concern.

"Did they say how he convinced the psychologist he was better? And convince a judge of the same?" she asked, still in disbelief that he could have appeared better when he had clearly been planning this for some time.

Her mother sighed before answering, "Diane got the lawyer to request the closed meeting but she wasn't in there with him. And I'm sure those records will be sealed."

"We'll see about that." Felicity muttered under her breath, now knowing what her next course of action was going to be. Nate must either be an exceptional actor or have something on one or more of the people involved with letting him go.

"Are you sure you're safe? You could come home for awhile. Maybe he wouldn't follow you." the break in her mom's voice was almost enough to make her agree, but the anchor of Oliver beside her let her know she wasn't running.

"I'm safe. I've got two of the strongest, bravest men I've ever met only feet from me right now. I'm probably the safest person in the city." She caught Digg's wry smile in the rearview mirror and chanced a glance at Oliver, not expecting him to look so protectively fierce. Her heart flipped and for a moment she didn't hear a word her mother said.

After promising her mother she'd call later that day she sat back and let herself sink into the plush leather seat, Oliver's hand still wrapped around hers, thumb rubbing comfortingly over her knuckles.

She filled them in on what her mother had told her, both of them agreeing there was more to Nate than anyone suspected. She hoped the court records would be online soon so she could hack into their database and read the notes from that meeting.

Their work day was blessedly busy. Meeting after meeting kept her distracted and even though she caught Oliver staring at her more than once she didn't mind.

There was a meeting with the department heads scheduled for four and then they'd be free to go. Oliver was finishing up a call that was running late before they'd make their way down the hall to the larger conference room. Her mind was fixated on the alerts she'd received and the background check she was going to run on the psychologist when security called to say they'd sent a courier up.

A few minutes later the elevator doors opened and the regular delivery guy stepped out, his arms full as he approached her desk. It was the service they used when making deliveries within the city and they needed papers moved during the business day. He smiled easily and dropped a package and a large envelope on her desk before he asked her to sign for them.

As she watched him leave she picked up the two items and saw the package was addressed to Oliver and the envelope to her. He was on the phone when she went in, leaving the box on the corner of his desk with a small smile. He lifted his free hand in a wave and she made her way back, standing in front of her desk as she ripped the tab off the envelope.

The only thing inside was a folded piece of paper. Her brows drew together in confusion as she opened it to see one word written in dark ink.

'Duck'

She flipped it over to see if she had missed anything and looked in the envelope again but it was empty. When she read the note a second time, cold pure panic filled her. It was Nate's handwriting.

Her eyes shot to the box she'd left on Oliver's desk and she was racing for the door before she could think.

He must have seen the fear on her face as she ran towards him. He was on his feet in an instant, the phone falling forgotten from his hand. Her mouth didn't want to work, but just as she reached his side and grabbed his arm she managed to get out "Bomb!"

Oliver didn't hesitate. They never stopped moving as his arm wrapped around her back and he directed her into the conference room adjacent to his office.

The last thing she'd remember was him yelling her name as he pulled her to his chest, tucking her head into him as he dove under the table.

There was an explosion of noise, followed by a wall of heat and then nothing but darkness.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I have THE BEST readers/followers/reviewers. Thank you so much for the amazing response to the last chapter, even if it mostly to express your dissatisfaction for the evil cliffhanger. I do hope this chapter makes up for it, and I promise, no cliffie at the end of this one. :)**

**Enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

_Previously on 'Times Like These'..._

_As she watched him leave she picked up the two items and saw the package was addressed to Oliver and the envelope to her. He was on the phone when she went in, leaving the box on the corner of his desk with a small smile. He lifted his free hand in a wave and she made her way back, standing in front of her desk as she ripped the tab off the envelope._

_The only thing inside was a folded piece of paper. Her brows drew together in confusion as she opened it to see one word written in dark ink._

_'Duck'_

_She flipped it over to see if she had missed anything and looked in the envelope again but it was empty. When she read the note a second time, cold pure panic filled her. It was Nate's handwriting._

_Her eyes shot to the box she'd left on Oliver's desk and she was racing for the door before she could think._

_He must have seen the fear on her face as she ran towards him. He was on his feet in an instant, the phone falling forgotten from his hand. Her mouth didn't want to work, but just as she reached his side and grabbed his arm she managed to get out "Bomb!"_

_Oliver didn't hesitate. They never stopped moving as his arm wrapped around her back and he directed her into the conference room adjacent to his office._

_The last thing she'd remember was him yelling her name as he pulled her to his chest, tucking her head into him as he dove under the table._

_There was an explosion of noise, followed by a wall of heat and then nothing but darkness._

The smell of smoke, a blinding pain, and the inability to draw a full breath is what finally pulled her from the black. At first she couldn't see anything, her body felt like it was trapped and a moment of claustrophobia made her try and push back and find any sort of space. But she couldn't move and her attempt had made a band of fire flare across her side.

With a groan she moved her head slightly and realized the darkness she could see was the shoulder of Oliver's suit jacket. In a rush everything came back to her and she remembered the note and the package and Oliver's arms wrapping around her before it all exploded.

Her ears were ringing and there was a haze in the space around them. She couldn't see far, Oliver blocked almost her entire field of vision but what she could see looked to be what remained of the conference room on top of them.

As her head cleared some she realized Oliver hadn't moved and it was his body that was pinning her down. His arms were wrapped around her, one banded about her back, the other had laid over her head but was now heavy across her middle, and it was limp.

With effort she brought up the one arm that wasn't caught under her and felt his tie under her fingers. His face was pressed into her neck and there wasn't enough room for her to see him properly. A whine of panic began to fill her at the idea that he could be seriously injured. She moved her hand north as far as she could, fingers just scrabbling along his jaw as she touched his stubble. Biting her lip she reached higher, trying to ignore how much it hurt to stretch her arm until she could feel along his face and up to his temple. The hot slick wetness she encountered made her stomach drop.

Tears pricked her eyes and her hand fell to his throat searching frantically for a pulse. It was strong if a little fast and she let out a gasping sob that caused her to cough violently as her lungs took in too much smoke.

White spots filled her vision at the pain the coughing drew from her ribs. She didn't know if they were bruised or broken or if she had any other injuries. Her right arm was trapped under Oliver and her legs were numb as he lay completely on top of her.

"Oliver!" she called, but her voice was weak and shaky and she could barely make it out herself. She tried pressing on his shoulder and pushing to see if she could move him but he didn't shift. Desperation filled her and she tried again gritting her teeth and blocking the pain as she pushed as hard as she could but only managed to rock him back an inch before her hand slipped and he settled back where he had been.

She was left panting and exhausted, her head throbbing and the feeling that she couldn't draw a full breath of air. She let her head rest against his as her eyes grew heavy. Her hand fisted in the material of his shirt as she concentrated on just taking one breath after another.

Then there was a noise and a small patch of light just beyond Oliver's shoulder.

"Oliver! Felicity!" called Digg's familiar voice and if she hadn't almost been unconscious she would have sobbed in relief. As her vision continued to fade and she lost the battle to stay awake her last thought was she hoped they lived and she hadn't gotten Oliver killed.

A wracking coughing fit that left her breathless and in agony is what brought her back. Warm hands settled on her shoulders and pushed her down on something soft as she waited out the pain.

"Take a breath, Felicity." it was Digg and he was close. She did as he said, groaning because it hurt but his quiet hum of approval let her know it was good. "Now take another." he directed and she obeyed again.

The second time it was down to a dull ache and after a third she tried opening her eyes. She was on the ground, Digg kneeling next to her with his shirtsleeves rolled up, soot and dust clinging to him and a few scrapes and cuts across his face. He gave her a smile and grabbed her hand waiting as she blinked slowly and tried to make sense of what had happened.

He had an oxygen mask poised above her and placed it over her face, giving her an encouraging nod to keep breathing while he talked. As the cool air flowed into her nose she took as deep a breath as she dared and locked her eyes on his.

"There was an explosion." he said evenly and she nodded minutely, the throbbing in her head not letting her do much more. She raised a weak hand and wrapped it around his wrist to pull the mask away slightly.

"Nate," she rasped out, a tear leaking from the corner of her eye that he caught before it could reach her hair.

His eyes darkened at the name, but he gave a swift jerk of his chin, "Yeah, it was him."

"How bad?" she asked and then memories slammed into her and she remembered, "Oliver! Where's Oliver!" she cried and tried to sit up but Digg pushed her down again and put the mask aside.

Tears slid down her cheeks as she recalled his prone form laying protectively above her and the wound she'd been able to feel on his head.

"Hey, settle down. The paramedics are looking at him now, but I think he's going to be fine." he assured her, but her heart was pounding relentlessly in her chest and she knew she wouldn't feel better until she'd seen him.

"The damage was mostly limited to your offices and the conference room. The table had collapsed on top of you along with half a wall which is why it took a little bit of time to get you out."

"Digg, please. I need to see him." she pleaded, everything in her screaming to know whether he was alright or not. Her own injuries were forgotten, the damage to her ribs had faded to a dullness she barely noticed. But he shook his head and gave her a sympathetic look.

"You'll see him soon enough."

She had just opened her mouth to argue with him again when there was a roar from behind her and she heard Oliver yelling her name.

Before Digg could stop her she sat up with a gasp and tried to twist to see Oliver but she cried out in pain and would have tipped over if Digg hadn't caught her. He gave a long suffering sigh and reached behind her, dragging something heavy and warm up around her shoulders that she had been laying on and when she dropped her head to clear away the spots that had appeared she realized it was his suit jacket.

"If you insist on doing this at least let me help you."

She tried to pull herself to her feet with his help, but her legs felt like rubber and there was a new pain she hadn't felt before that streaked down her left thigh. Leaning heavily on Digg she could turn her head and finally see Oliver.

He was half laying, half sitting on a stretcher with two medics trying to get him to lay down. She watched as he shrugged one off and swayed as the other pushed ineffectively on his chest. He growled her name again and before she could think she tore away from Digg and stumbled across the room towards him.

He caught sight of her just as she called his name and only had enough time to open his arms as she crashed into him.

The desperate knot of need she didn't know she had loosened some. To touch him and be near him and know that he was alive was all she'd been looking for and now with his arms holding her so tight it stung and her head pressed perfectly under his chin she felt whole again.

He had one hand buried in her hair and the other wrapped so far around her waist his fingers gripped her hip bone, the material of the suit jacket bunching under his hand. She felt him let out a long shuddering sigh as she tried not to cry into his throat in an attempt to avoid antagonizing her already irritated lungs.

With her arms encircling his neck her fingers began a steady draw through his hair in a rhythm they both seemed to need. She was pressed as tight to him as she could be with the hard side of a gurney in her way, but she didn't notice.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled into him, "I'm so sorry,"

He shushed her, his warm breath right in her ear as his lips brushed the shell as he talked. "It's not your fault."

She nodded erratically, swallowing past the lump in her throat, "It is. It's because of me. You wouldn't have gotten hurt if it wasn't for me."

He pulled back and took her face in his hands, his gaze catching hers and holding it even though she was looking at him through tears. "This is not your fault," he said fiercely, "You did not do this."

Her eyes roamed his face as she took in the bandage on his right temple and the cuts and bruises she could already see forming. Trembling fingers traced the white patch of gauze and over the shallow cut on his eyebrow before she let them trail over his cheek to his mouth where she ran her thumb over his bottom lip ever so lightly. "You were hurt." she repeated at a whisper,

His hand slid to the back of her neck and tugged her forward until their foreheads were pressing together. "I've had worse." he reminded her and her eyes fell shut as she tried to block out past memories of him being hurt.

"But this was because of me," she repeated, the guilt that her past had brought this on them was something she couldn't shake. His thumbs wiped tears off her cheeks and his eyes fell shut, but not before she saw a cloud of anger and regret filter through them.

"I'm going to stop him, and he's never going to hurt you again." his voice was so low only she could hear and the way he said it was like a vow. He pressed a hard kiss to her temple that made her breath catch, sending a stab of pain through her side. She couldn't hide the way her body stiffened or the small cry that came from her throat.

Her hands fell from his face to rest against his shirt. She stared at the buttons as she tried to will the pain to stop and absently realized his tie and jacket were gone.

"What is it? Are you hurt?" he asked quickly and she had to suppress a dark laugh because how could they have gotten through that and not have been hurt.

She shook her head once, "Just my ribs, I think." one broad hand slid beneath the jacket and splayed lightly across her side. Air hissed through her teeth at the contact but it wasn't due to pain.

"You think?" he asked, indignant. "Haven't you been treated?" his head shot up and for the first time since she'd rushed to his side he looked around.

Digg must have not been far away because he was at their side in an instant. "Mild smoke inhalation, mild concussion, two broken or bruised ribs, and a gash on her thigh that probably needs a few stitches, not to mention a lot of cuts and bruises." he ran through the list of her injuries and suddenly the ache in her leg made sense.

She was moved back a few inches as Oliver slid forward and dropped to the floor, never breaking his contact with her. Her fingers gripped his shirt and she saw Digg's hand shoot out in case he lost his balance but he didn't even wobble.

"You probably shouldn't be doing that. The table was laying across your legs, they were worried one might be broken." Digg warned him and Oliver brushed it off,

"My legs aren't broken." he said dismissively, his eyes on her again as he seemed to be cataloging every tiny scrape she had. When his hand fell from her side and trailed down her thigh she made a startled noise as he leaned over and tugged up the hem of her dress.

"She needs stitches." Oliver said darkly, and turned to one of the medics who didn't seem willing to approach them right then. "Why hasn't she been treated?" he demanded

"Hey man, we were getting there. You were both unconscious and she had barely been awake when you started doing your best grizzly bear impression and growling her name. After that she hasn't left your side."

Felicity ducked her head at the implications she could hear in Digg's voice and tried not to shiver as Oliver straightened up, completely unaware of how his hand trailed up her thigh and came to rest again at her hip, the heat from his touch making her flush even in her injured state.

"What the hell happened? How did it get into the building?" Oliver asked sharply,

Her head went light as a cold sweat broke across her skin. It was all her fault.

She must have made a noise or swayed because the next thing she knew she was sitting on the stretcher that had been behind Oliver with his hands holding her face telling her to focus on him.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out through tears. "I told security to send up the courier. I didn't...I didn't know. It was the regular guy." she choked on her words and shut her eyes tight. "Oh god, what if I hadn't opened the letter. The bomb would have gone off and you wouldn't have…" she felt sick at the thought of what would have happened to him if it had exploded on his desk with him sitting right there.

She felt her body being turned and hands pressing her to lay back on to the half raised stretcher. Oliver's voice was in her ear again, "This is not your fault. You can't think like that."

"Felicity, that courier service has been vetted, that's why we use them. But I think there will be new procedures in place from now on." Digg said, but she barely heard him.

She concentrated on his presence and the hand that was wrapped around hers as she tried to calm her churning stomach.

His lips brushed her forehead and over one of her eyelids before she blinked open wide eyes, "Oliver…" she said breathlessly, unable to read the expression in his darker than usual eyes.

"Later," he whispered and all she could do was nod.

A medic hovered on the other side of the stretcher next to Digg, holding what she recognized as a suture kit in his hands.

"Oliver, let her get fixed up." Digg said evenly, as if he wasn't sure how Oliver would respond to being told to back off.

By the way his head shot up and turned to glare at his partner it appeared as if Digg had been right. But he didn't blink, he just matched Oliver's look with one of his own and then played his trump card. "Your mother has been waiting to see you for the past ten minutes." he nodded his head back behind them and Oliver pivoted on the spot. Just over his shoulder she could see the worried face of Moira Queen as she stood only feet away.

Felicity let her head fall back with a groan of embarrassment. She was just then realizing how close she and Oliver had been and Moira had seen everything.

But he didn't seem phased at all. He held up one finger to his mother and turned back, his attention fully on her once again.

"Oliver, I'll be fine. Let them finish up so we can get out of here."

He sighed heavily, the internal battle he was struggling with was apparent in his expression. Once more his lips were warm against her skin and then he was squeezing her hand and stepping back. "I'll be close."

Her eyes followed him as he limped heavily to where his mother stood. She bit her lip in concern at how injured he really was, for him to show any sign of weakness meant it was worse than he was letting on.

She wanted to keep him in sight but just then Detective Lance hurried into the room and after casting a quick look around came directly to her side.

The distraction ended up being welcome as it kept her from paying attention as her leg was cleaned and injected with a numbing medication that stung so fiercely she grasped Lance's hand without thought as she hissed through her teeth and waited for it to dissipate. She could tell the medic was nervous and kept shooting worried glances towards Oliver who she had a feeling was leveling him with one of his glares.

Between her and Digg they filled Lance in on what happened. She hadn't realized it had taken almost twenty minutes to pull them from the debris and the knowledge made her heart drop.

"There was a note." she said, dead voiced, the strain and stress beginning to catch up with her.

"On the bomb?" Lance asked, confused

"No. He sent me a separate note. I suppose it's been burned by now…"she trailed off as a shudder ran through her, making her wince and wrap a hand around her side.

"What did the note say, Ms. Smoak?" Lance's voice was gentle, as if he could tell how close to the edge she was.

"All it said was 'Duck'. The bomb was meant for Oliver, not for me."

"He sees him as an obstacle to getting to you. He's the reason you're no longer in your apartment. He's the reason he can't get in this building. He's the reason he can't get near you." Lance explained and again the ball of acid in her gut grew until all she could do was lay there and take breaths through her nose as she prayed she wouldn't get sick.

Lance hadn't meant to add to the guilt that was about to take her under but his words cut deep and she felt like what little air in her lungs had vanished.

Then there was a warm hand on her face, and one over her busted ribs, providing some counter pressure as her chest heaved. "Felicity, listen to me. You have to calm down, you're only going to hurt yourself." Oliver was there and she grabbed his wrist desperately to give her something to hold on to before she flew apart. "Slow your breaths. You have enough air."

She tried to do as he said, but then she remembered sitting the package on his desk and the panic filled her again. The oxygen mask was placed over her face again but she tried to shake it off, the feel of it on her too constricting.

Her arm was pulled down and she tried to fight it but hands were on her shoulders. "They're going to give you something for the pain, and it should settle you down some too." Digg said from her other side. Her eyes flew open and she tried to protest and tell them she didn't want anything but white lights burst in her vision as she twisted the wrong way, and then there was a small prick in her arm.

Oliver was all she could see, his hand brushed loose hair from her face and cupped her cheek. "It's okay, it'll help. It won't knock you out all the way." he promised her and that more than anything made her relax back into the stretcher and focus on slowing her breaths.

The three men surrounding her began to relax as well. A warmth filled her veins and the pain faded away as her racing heart settled.

Digg and Lance stepped back to talk and the medic came forward to finish putting the bandage on her leg, but Oliver never left.

"Is your mom still here?" she asked, trying to look around him, but finding it difficult to focus her eyes.

"No, she went back to the house."

The thought of the mansion and Oliver's bed made her smile. She needed that. She wanted to forget about Nate and the bomb and everything he'd done.

Oliver's fingers trailed over her cheek and she turned into his touch with a happy hum. "What's the smile for?" he asked, voice low and throaty, and she didn't think it had anything to do with the smoke he'd inhaled.

"Just thinking about your bed, and sleeping, and...it's nice, I like it." she knew the words were coming out wrong but the intent was there and if the slightly strangled noise she heard him make was any indication he understood what she meant.

"It is nice." he agreed, shifting to put his weight on his good leg but not able to hide a wince.

"Oliver, your leg."

"It's not that bad."

"I don't believe you." it was getting harder to keep her eyes open and she let them shut for a minute as Digg and Lance returned. She heard them talking about getting statements the next day and how the bomb squad would be investigating the device, but she just listened.

"I think it's okay for you to get out of here, unless you need transport to the hospital." Lance said

"No, I think we're fine." Oliver replied and she did made an agreeing noise at that. She didn't want to go to the hospital.

"I'll be by tomorrow then. Get some rest, kid." Lance gripped her arm tight for a minute and then he disappeared.

Her head was becoming more and more light until she felt like she was floating, except when she cracked open her eyes she realized she wasn't floating at all. Instead, Digg was carrying her as Oliver limped beside them.

She didn't recognize the floor they were on, and she didn't know how they'd been moved from their offices to wherever the triage had been set up.

After that her memories were hazy. She remembered the swooping in her stomach as they rode down in the elevator. She remembered leaning against Oliver in the back of the car, his hand stroking over her head the entire drive. She remembered being carried up the steps of the Queen mansion again and Oliver and Digg stepping out while one of the maids helped her change. She remembered the shirt being slipped over her head not belonging to her and not caring as she slid beneath the covers.

In her half awake half drugged state she was only somewhat aware as Oliver entered the room. There was the sound of the shower running and him walking to the closet and her eyes fluttered open as she felt him ease onto the mattress. Her wore nothing but a pair of boxer briefs and as her eyes dropped to take in the sight she saw the long line of bruising beginning to form along his upper thigh.

"Oliver!" she gasped and tried to push herself up on her elbow but immediately regretted it.

He ignored where she was looking and pulled the covers up, "Hey, it'll be fine." But she knew that him willingly getting into bed and attempting to rest meant he was hurt bad enough to put a normal person in the hospital.

Her eyes swam with tears and he didn't hesitate to pull her to him gently, waiting for her to relax into his side before he draped his palm over her injured ribs. "It'll be fine." he repeated, "Get some rest."

With a stuttered sigh she laid her head on his chest and let his warmth and presence lull her to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Again, you continue to be the best! Thank you so so much for loving this story so much. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Felicity never leaves Oliver's room, and it might just one of my favorite parts. And not because of** **_that._ **

**Let me know what you think!**

Once again pain woke her. There were stuttered words, and sure hands, two pills pressed through her lips followed by cool water and the order to swallow. Slowly the burning ache eased from her side and the rest of her body where new bruises were making themselves known.

As the tension left her she opened up her eyes to see Oliver sitting next to her, worry etched all over his face. She reached up slowly to try and touch his jaw but she couldn't quite make it. He leaned down and met her hand and she smiled, lightly running her nails over the stubble like she'd done when they were trapped. "I was scared," the words tumbled from her, she hadn't meant to say anything but she couldn't take it back now.

When his brows drew together she knew he didn't fully understand and she licked her lips before she started again. "I came to while we were stuck. You were...passed out and bleeding and I couldn't move you. I couldn't breathe, and I didn't know if anyone was coming. But mostly I was terrified that you weren't going to make it."

He was silent as he stroked his thumb over her cheekbone, staring at her so intently she was sure he could see inside her. There was a light pressure as he leaned into her touch and turned his head, lips just brushing over her palm and she was reminded of earlier when he'd kissed her head more than once.

Now she felt like she couldn't breathe for a different reason, "Oliver...what's happening?"

His hand came up to clasp hers and draw it down between them, "I don't know but...I don't think I can stop it." she heard and saw so much in him just then. Hope, and guilt, and relief all mixed with a heavy uncertainty as he tried to justify allowing himself to take this chance.

"I don't want it to stop." she answered as his eyes fell shut and his shoulders slumped forward as if in defeat. She tightened the grip she had on their joined hands until he looked at her, completely open, soul laid bare for her to do with as she pleased.

The drugs were beginning to pull her under again but she couldn't leave him like that. She tugged his hand and when he began to lie down next to her she opened her arm and gave him a look she hoped he understood. "Rest," she said simply.

He lay on his side and shifted down until his head was pressed above her breast. "You won't hurt me." she whispered as she began to draw her fingers through his hair. He stiffened for a moment because her words weren't meant for just then. "You won't hurt me." she repeated, and kept stroking his head until muscle by muscle he relaxed into her.

One arm stretched out across her middle and he pulled himself flush against her, hand covering her ribs like he could some how heal them through touch alone. She curled her hips and legs towards him, ignoring the slight pull over her side. His breath was evening out and the last thing she remembered was pressing kisses into his hair as he slept.

When she woke up several hours later to find Oliver hadn't moved and was still sound asleep she knew she'd done the right thing by making him rest instead of having a conversation that she wasn't even sure they needed to have.

She laid there until her bladder protested and after shifting a bit and not being left breathless from pain, decided she could try and make it to the bathroom.

Extracting herself from Oliver proved difficult, and she fully expected him to wake up, but after she'd eased herself out from under his head and slid his arm off her waist he merely rolled to his back and let out a light snore.

Walking to the bathroom was painful but it felt good to get up and move. She had more twinges and bruises than she had been aware of and she felt a bit wobbly on her legs but she made it successfully without any problems.

The reflection in the mirror made her groan and she knew immediately she needed a shower. She lost track of time as she stood under the hot spray and let it find every single cut and scrape on her body. She'd left the bandage on her thigh but knew it would need to be changed when she got out. She welcomed the sting, and the hot water eased some of the aches out of her muscles. Washing her hair with one hand proved difficult as she couldn't lift her left arm over head due to her ribs. A sudden and vivid thought of Oliver helping her wash her hair went through her head and she had to bite her lip to keep her involuntary reaction to herself.

When she was finished she was clean but tired and shaky. Wrapped in a towel she left the borrowed t-shirt on the counter, looking at it with regret but it smelled like smoke from her hair and she couldn't bear to put it back on.

Oliver hadn't moved when she padded back across the room and slipped into the closet. She had a set of pajamas in her hands when her fingers skimmed over one of his dress shirts and a smile crossed her lips.

Rationalizing that she didn't want anything on her injured leg and none of her shirts were long enough to be worn alone she put the pajamas back and stepped into a new pair of underwear before she slid the button down off the hanger and over her arms, not giving herself a chance to second guess her decision.

She had just finished putting a new bandage on her leg and tying her hair back when there was a soft knock on the main door. Felicity limped out of the closet to see Moira Queen quietly entering.

Her mouth went dry and she froze halfway between the bed and the door where Moira was closing it gently behind her. Felicity shot a look towards Oliver, but he still slept silently which actually worried her since his ninja like senses never seemed to shut down.

Hands twisting in the too long shirt sleeves she gritted her teeth and mentally knocked herself for indulging in Oliver's shirt as she hobbled towards Moira.

"Mrs. Queen…"

"How are you dear? How's Oliver? I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to you earlier but you didn't seem well at all." her voice was kind and gentle and most of all entirely genuine. There was no trace of the hard nosed, serious woman who she'd seen in the board room or going up against the likes of Isabel Rochev, or had told her the Green Room had been opened for Felicity to sleep in. She just sounded like a mother who was worried about her son.

"I'm...I'm okay. Oliver's sleeping, I think he feels worse than he lets on, but he's always like that, trying to make it seem like nothing bothers him but really it…" she trailed off as she realized who she was talking to.

"You know my son well. Maybe better than anyone." it was an observation and it made Felicity freeze.

"I like to think so, yes."

Moira's eyes drifted back to the bed and softened, "I came in here earlier, but you were both sleeping." Felicity felt her cheeks go red at the thought of what she'd seen, "He trusts you."

The statement made her heart stop in her chest as Moira looked back at her, "You see the real Oliver. The one even I have a hard time seeing sometimes. He needs you very much." her hand dropped to lay on Felicity's arm and she gave her a small smile.

"I need him too." she admitted quietly, "I hate that people don't see how he's changed and the good he's doing. He's really turning the company around and…" she wished she could talk about all the other good Oliver was doing in his other suit, but she couldn't so she rushed ahead. "I'm just sorry it's my fault he got hurt. If anything worse had happened to him because of me...I don't think I could have lived with myself." she'd lowered her eyes to hide the tears she couldn't control.

"This wasn't your fault. This was the actions of a mad man. Take it from someone who knows a thing about being responsible for others being hurt."

Felicity's stomach dropped as she realized she'd made Moira think of the Glades and everything associated with it.

"Oh god, I'm...I didn't mean to…" but she was cut off as Moira raised a hand in front of her.

"Please, Felicity, is it okay if I call you that?" Felicity just nodded her consent, "I came to peace with those demons long ago. At least to a peace I can live with. But I will tell you that there is no point in burdening yourself or those around you with guilt that does not belong to you. And I think my son would say the same thing."

"He already has," she choked out through a throat thick with emotion.

"Because he loves you."

Felicity's eyes went wide at her words,

"And you love him."

Her initial response was to sputter out some sort of denial but all she could do was nod her head. "I do," she whispered.

"I saw you two at the office and I overheard Detective Lance talking to Mr. Diggle. You knew there was a bomb in that package and you ran towards it to save Oliver. He kept you under him while the table and the walls fell on top of him instead of you." she slid her hand down until she could grasp Felicity's fingers in her own, "I'm very sorry I ever doubted your relationship with my son. Whatever it is it's clearly very special, and I promise not to interfere in any way."

Felicity could only stare at her, shocked at what she'd said. Moira took pity on her and after squeezing her hand once more stepped back towards the door. "Goodnight," she said simply and exited, leaving Felicity standing there unable to process what had just happened.

It took a few minutes before she could get her numb legs to work. As she blindly, and unsteadily made her way back to the bed, Moira's words tumbled through her head over and over again.

"he loves you. you love him."

And the knowledge that she'd agreed and then received his mother's blessing left her wondering what had happened. By the time she hit the edge of the mattress on what she was now coming to think of as her side she climbed in with no reservation. Two days earlier the mere idea of being in his bed had left her frozen and unsure.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that it took far too long for her to realize Oliver was awake and staring at her.

She'd just laid her head on the pillow and rolled on her right to take the pressure off her ribs when she saw him.

"Oh! You're awake." she said, higher and louder than she intended,

He was looking at her with an expression she'd never seen before and her stomach began to swirl, "How long have you been awake?" she asked, time seeming to halt before he answered.

"Long enough," he sounded rough and gravely and now her stomach swirled in an entirely different way.

"How do you feel?" she deflected, biting her lip as she winced at how obvious she was. His eyes narrowed and she knew he saw right through her.

"Why would you run towards a bomb?" there was a glint of anger in his eyes and his jaw had tightened to the point she could see a muscle twitching. She wanted to reach out and stroke it until it stopped.

She knew he was upset with her for risking her life. For putting his safety above her own. She knew the guilt he carried over others dying for him or in his place and she'd never intended to add to that burden.

"I wasn't running towards a bomb." she countered and saw him open his mouth as his eyes flashed in protest but she laid one finger over his lips to silence him.

"I was running towards you."

His eyes slammed shut at her words and she felt as all the air left his lungs.

"Felicity…" her name sounded like it was ground from him, "You can't just…"

"What? Risk my life for yours? Why not? You do it all the time." he looked truly upset with her, but she didn't stop. "Oliver, it wasn't something I thought about. I saw the note, I realized that the package I had just left on your desk was a bomb and I reacted. Did you really think I was going to run the other way? Is that what you would have done?"

"No! Of course not, but…"

"But what? Is my life more valuable than yours? Than Digg's? Just because you can wield a bow and arrow and have very impressive skills doesn't mean you're superhuman. If that bomb had exploded with you sitting there...you'd be dead. So don't expect me to apologize for trying to save you." her pulse was thudding in her ears and she fought the urge to sit up and put distance between them. But he hadn't moved, so she wasn't going to either.

His eyes locked on hers, "You can't get hurt because of me. You're not supposed to get hurt. I couldn't…" his words choked off as he looked away and she closed the distance between them by laying her hand along his cheek.

"How do you think I feel right now, knowing that bomb would have never been there if it wasn't for me. Nate sent that to you because of me. Our offices were destroyed, thousands of dollars worth of damage done, because of me. Not everything is your fault, Oliver Queen. And if you had been hurt worse, or…" she stopped because she couldn't finish the sentence, "I couldn't either, okay."

"And while we're on the subject you're the one who used their body as a human shield to protect me from flying conference tables, and falling walls. Did you think before you did that?"

"There was no time to think. I just…" he cut himself off and gave her a look as he realized he was about to say the same thing she'd said.

"You just reacted." she finished anyways with a small smile.

He sighed heavily and trailed a hand over her brow and down over the side of her cheek until his fingers slid back behind her ear. "This is dangerous."

She knew immediately he was talking about them being together and everything it could bring with it.

"I know,"

"We could compromise everything." but his fingers didn't stop drawing circles along the nape of her neck, making small tingles of electricity shoot down her spine.

"I know,"

"I could lose you." he sounded so bereft, and so alone she just wanted to wrap her arms around him again and hold him.

"Never," she breathed out, the conviction in her voice making his eyes stutter shut.

Before she could lose her nerve she did the only thing that made sense and leaned in, pressing her lips to his.

His lips were cool and a bit dry and she knew she'd taken him by surprise because he startled back just a bit, but it didn't take him long to recover, and soon enough the hand on her neck was pulling her closer as his mouth now slanted over hers to deepen the kiss.

She moaned into him as his lips moved over hers, swirls of heat and electricity flowing over her leaving everything numb as her world narrowed down to just this kiss.

Her fingers threaded through the short strands of hair at the back of his head and tugged, making a low growl emit from his throat as his tongue traced the seam of her lips and she opened readily. When their tongues touched she arched into him and immediately pulled back in pain, gasping out as a hot band wrapped itself around her side and took her breath away.

Oliver stroked a hand over her head until the pain faded and then laid purposely on his back, letting her know their little make out session was over. With a sigh he guided her down until she was resting against his chest and she settled into him with a slightly disappointed sigh.

His fingers played with the collar of the borrowed shirt and she felt her cheeks warm for a second. "The other one smelled all smoky and I didn't really want pants over my stitches…" she trailed off as the pad of one calloused finger slipped off the fabric to graze the hollow of her throat and up her neck before following her jawline.

"It's fine," he murmured, "Looks better on you anyways."

Images flashed through her mind of all the ways that man could wear a dress shirt and she was fairly certain he was wrong with that assessment but she wouldn't argue the point just then.

She pressed one open mouthed kiss just below his Bratva tattoo and smiled into his skin when his hand tightened on her hip and her name came from him as a low warning.

"Am I not allowed to do this now? Are there rules?" she teased and delighted in the irritated grumble that she felt in his chest,

"There aren't any rules." he bit out, "But I'd like your ribs to heal before I find out if we're going to need any."

Molten heat erupted in her center and she knew her gulp was audible.

"Oh," she breathed out and complied quickly by laying her head down so her lips weren't touching him.

They lay in the quiet, the steady thrum of his heart under her ear something she decided right then she want to fall asleep to every night. Her fingers traced meaningless patterns over his chest, not avoiding the scars as he stroked a hand up her arm and through her hair over and over again.

"How much did you hear?" she asked, finally drawing enough courage to ask the question she was certain she already knew the answer to.

His fingers stilled for a second and then resumed their track. "All of it," he admitted.

"Good," she said quietly and got a wicked grin on her face he couldn't see. She turned her head and pressed up as far as her ribs would allow and placed a slow, wet kiss just to the underside of his jaw that ended with her nipping the flesh lightly before soothing it over with her tongue.

"I thought we talked about this," he said through gritted teeth and she could hear how his heart rate had increased when she laid her head back down with a satisfied smile.

"We did, but then you told me you heard everything. So I get to do that whenever I want and to hell with the rules."

"That's going to work both ways, you know." his voice was smooth as glass and a shiver of anticipation and want went through her.

"I'm counting on it." she threw back,

"Sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day."

"Okay," she agreed and smiled as she felt him press a kiss into her hair.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: You guys! You're fantastic! I love you all, thanks for once again being so awesome over the last chapter. The dynamic between Felicity and Moira is one I've never explored before and I'm so glad you seemed to like it.**

**I also just want to remind everyone I gave you two chapters in a row with no cliffhanger. Two.**

**Enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

She slept deep and long and when she woke she was starving and sore but no longer felt like every single move she made would result in pain.

She also woke to an empty bed and sat up carefully, looking around and finding a quiet room. Brow furrowed she made her way to the bathroom to also find it empty and the closet as well.

Apprehension and a bit of self doubt was starting to creep in when the door opened and Oliver and Digg walked in. Well, Digg walked in, mouth turned down in a scowl as he carried a tray and Oliver limped in leaning heavily on a cane.

Her mouth must have dropped open in shock when she saw him and he lifted the cane with a flourish.

"Digg's letting me borrow it."

She tramped down her concern and worry since he was obviously trying to keep things light. "We'll just have to get you a monocle and a top hat so you can complete the true billionaire look."

Digg snorted at that and sat the tray down on the table in front of the couch. "Apparently I carry trays now too." he said acerbically and it was her turn to laugh.

Her stomach growled in anticipation and she wasted no time in pouring them coffee. "Sit," she ordered and watched out the corner of her eye as Oliver carefully eased himself down onto the couch cushions, not missing how his breath caught or how he had to pause for a moment before he sat all the way. She didn't say anything though because she knew he wouldn't want her to.

When she leaned forward to hand Digg his cup she stretched too far, resulting in her taking a hissing breath between her teeth and Digg having to lurch to his feet and grab the cup before it spilled.

Both he and Oliver were silent until she settled back with a pastry and a cup of her own balanced precariously in her lap.

"You two are the literal walking wounded." Digg observed, but she saw the crease of disquiet between his eyes.

"At least we're walking," Oliver returned and Digg tipped the cup his direction in a silent salute.

"I assume we're not going to the office today since...there's no office." she said, and felt the heat of Oliver's gaze on her.

"You should stay in bed and rest."

"Is that what you plan to do?" she countered, knowing the answer was no.

His head tilted to the side and she gave him one lifted eyebrow in return.

"I have a present for you." Digg said, breaking the staring contest she'd been having with Oliver,

He got up so she wouldn't have to reach and laid a phone in her hand. "Your old one is…"

"Melted into nothing or crushed I'd assume." she said in a tight voice as she thumbed on the device and saw all her settings had been transferred over like nothing had happened. "Thanks,"

She had a huge list of emails to go through and when she saw five new text messages she felt the blood drain from her face.

"I checked, they're not from him." Digg said softly

"Oh...good." Oliver's hand covered her knee and gave it a squeeze.

The texts were from her mother and her shoulders sagged when she saw them. "My mom...she heard the news...couldn't get hold of me. I hate how worried this is making her." she said with a shake of her head as she wrote back a quick, falsely peppy reply along with a promise to call when she could. The bomb was actually the best excuse to claim she was too busy with work right then to talk. She felt Oliver's stare on her, but didn't look up, knowing she'd see a look on his face she didn't want to see just then.

Her email folder was also full and she flipped through them quickly only stopping when she saw one from Lance. It was a list of everything that had been used to build the bomb.

"If we're not going to our day job I'd like to go to our night job." she said, holding her phone up, "Lance forwarded me a list from the bomb investigation. It's everything that was used to put it together. I could probably trace some of the items, see where they were purchased, if there was anyway to figure out a pattern for payment. It could help narrow down where he is. He doesn't know the city well, he'd probably stay in one area."

Oliver nodded tightly, "We'll also need to stop by the police station." he reminded her, and then exchanged a look with Digg. "And I have to give a press conference this afternoon."

"A press conference? Why?" she sputtered out before she could think it through,

He let out a long sigh and scrubbed his hand over his forehead before he spoke, "It looks like someone leaked that the package was sent to me directly and that it wasn't a random attack on QC."

Felicity's hand flew to cover her mouth in horror.

"Hey, they don't know why. Your name hasn't come up and I intend to keep it that way. My mother and Digg have been running damage control, and Lance has kept things quiet on his end. So right now the only thing the press knows is there was an attempt on my life. I'll stand outside QC, make a few comments, make sure everyone can see that I'm fine and the investors will all be happy."

She let out a disgusted noise, "Yes, because ensuring the stock prices don't dip too far is much more important than whether you're alive or not."

"It's business."

"I know, it doesn't mean I have to like it." she groused, taking an angry bite of her pastry and pulling up the feeds she used to keep track of Oliver in the press. She was bombarded by images of the blown out office windows and emergency vehicles parked around the building the day before. There were already two separate vines being reblogged ad nauseum that had been taken as the bomb had exploded sending smoke and debris to fall forty stories to the streets below.

Headlines were talking about an 'assassination attempt' and she felt her stomach drop as she read through a woefully inaccurate article that claimed Oliver had been so severely injured he'd had to be sent to the top hospital in the city by helicopter.

She was watching the video again on a loop when Oliver's hand closed over the phone and took it and the coffee from her. "Stop." he said forcefully

"It looks so bad," she said monotone, shaking her head at what she'd just seen. She knew how close they'd been to his desk when it had exploded. "How did we survive that?"

She leaned towards him, ignoring the pull across her side and pressed her head into his neck, letting out a shaky exhale as she just took a moment to breathe.

She could almost feel Digg's eyes burning into her and she turned her head slightly to see that she was right. He'd noticed the shift between her and Oliver, but he hadn't said anything. Yet. As their eyes met he gave her a small nod that let her know things were fine for now, but they'd be talking about this in the future.

Felicity cleared her throat and sat up, finding Oliver's hand and laying hers overtop his to keep some sort of physical contact with him.

"Okay, so...police, press conference, lair? Thought we were supposed to be off today." her joke fell flat and she felt Oliver's arm tense under her.

"Felicity we're going to find him and we're going to stop him." Oliver said seriously

"I know...it's just frustrating."

She stood up too fast and felt the stitches protest as a flare of pain shot down her leg. Oliver caught her arm and helped her balance as she took a hobbling step forward. "I keep forgetting about that."

"Want me to take a look?" Digg offered and for a second she could see how truly worried he'd been for her. Even though she could take care of it herself she gave him a nod and sat back down to prop her foot on the table.

"All the supplies are in the bathroom," she said with a head tilt towards the door.

"You've just made yourself right at home, haven't you?" he said with a smirk that left her staring at his back with a gaping mouth.

Oliver chuckled next to her and used the cane to push to his feet, "You know he's just messing with us, right?" he brushed her temple with a kiss and slowly made his way back to the closet.

"You sure you're okay?" she asked, hating how haltingly he was moving.

"I promise. It's a bad bruise, but it'll heal." just before he stepped out of sight he turned and gave her an almost lewd leer, "And if you're good, I'll let you play doctor again."

Digg, of course, chose that moment to emerge from the bathroom. She hung her red face and waited for him to say something as he knelt next to her and began to remove the old bandage.

"There are going to be rules." he said without looking at her, and her mind immediately went to her earlier conversation with Oliver about rules of a different kind. A strangled sort of noise came from her throat that he must have taken as an agreement because he continued. "There are going to be things I do not need to know, see, or hear." she just nodded stiffly.

His hands paused as he was opening a new gauze square and looked at her with such intensity she stopped breathing, "And if this affects the mission…"

"It won't," she cut him off, never more serious about anything in her life.

He considered her and let his face relax some, "Good, because I think you're exactly what he's needed all this time."

All the air left her lungs like a balloon deflating and she couldn't help the tears that pricked her eyes. She dropped her hands over his and held them tight, "Thank you," she mouthed, not trusting her voice.

He held her gaze for a second more and then handed over her phone, "Here, why don't you start working some of your magic while I clean this up, I might need to put another stitch in, this isn't the best work."

She took the phone and made a face at needing more stitches, "Well, you're probably the only person who could put in stitches with Oliver breathing down your neck."

Digg let out a grunt of agreement and stood, "Med kit is in the car. I'll be back."

She busied herself on her phone when he left, looking over the list Lance had sent and, going with a hunch, focused on stores within a few blocks of her apartment. Most of the items could have been bought less than five minutes from where she lived.

"Oliver, my laptop is still in my suitcase, can you bring it here?" she called out, reaching for a bowl of fruit that was still on the tray.

He came out without the cane, or pants and she sent him a look of admonishment but couldn't keep her eyes from taking in just how good he looked in nothing but black boxer briefs.

The laptop was deposited on the couch next to her and she gave him a smile of thanks before she caught sight of his leg. "Oh god!" she exclaimed and reached out, pushing the leg of the fabric up so she could see his entire thigh. Dark, mottled bruising stretched from his knee all the way up as far as she could see. It was swollen and hot to the touch as she gently laid her palm over the worst spot.

He tensed beneath her and wrapped his fingers around her wrist, "It'll heal,"

"Oliver...how can you even walk like this?"

"I told you, I've had worse." he reminded her, leaving her shaking her head. "I've got a cream, it helps and it feels better than it did earlier."

She didn't know whether to believe him or not.

He glanced down and saw her leg still propped up and the bandage off, "Where's Digg?"

"He thinks I need more stitches. So he went to get the med kit from the car." she said reluctantly

Oliver's brows drew together in anger and she knew he was mentally arrowing the medics who had seen to her the day before. She watched his hands clench and wrapped her smaller hand around his fist, worming her fingers under his until he loosed his grip and she could slip her hand in to meet his palm.

"It's fine," she said, bringing his hand towards her so she could press a kiss to the back. "Now go finish getting ready before Digg comes back and sees you like that and I get another lecture."

Oliver tilted his head in question but she shooed him away instead of explaining.

He was safely out of sight by the time Digg returned and she glanced down at her leg, wincing when she saw the red gash and row of black thread holding everything together.

"Yeah, one or two for sure." he said as he laid out supplies and slid on a pair of gloves.

He began to draw the syringe full of numbing medication and she swallowed hard. "Do we have to use that? I think it hurts worse than the cut." she could distinctly remember how much it stung, and she'd still felt the pull of the thread each time a stitch had been made.

Digg paused and looked at her, "Are you sure? I can probably get away with only putting one in, but it's going to hurt."

She weighed her options and decided she'd rather take two brief painful moments for the stitch then repeated pokes and burning pain from the anesthetic.

"I'm sure."

Digg just shook his head and muttered something about hard headedness as he got out the hooked needle already threaded with silk and prepped the area.

Felicity fixed her eyes on a spot across the room and felt his hands hold firmly on her leg.

"Last chance. Once I start, stopping doesn't make much sense."

She nodded briskly but didn't look down and she wasn't surprised when he didn't wait. The sharp prick of the needle sliding through her skin took her breath away, and she dug her fingers into the edge of the couch to keep from crying out. Maybe she should have taken the anesthetic.

Digg didn't flinch, he kept his concentration and she felt a fine sheen of sweat break across her skin as she kept reminding herself to not move and keep breathing as evenly as possible.

One more high stinging pain made tears leak from her eyes and she couldn't keep quiet.

"That'll be the worst of it." he said softly, but it didn't take away the throbbing ache that seemed to take up her entire thigh. He made quick work of drawing the sides together and tying the knots, but she felt every pull and tug even though she knew he was trying to be careful.

By the time he'd smeared it with ointment and covered it up she was pale and shaky and couldn't seem to get her muscles to unclench.

"We're all done, you can relax now." Digg said as he took off the gloves, but she still couldn't move. He took her by the shoulders and eased her back as Oliver approached.

"Everything okay?" he asked. She shut her eyes and tried to calm her queasy stomach.

Digg waited until he'd limped his way to the side of the couch before he responded. "Your girl decided she didn't want the numbing meds."

"What?!" Oliver exploded and she could only imagine the look he was leveling Digg with. "So you stitched her up without anything?"

"Hey, it was her call man." Digg said evenly although there was a touch of steel to his voice.

"My choice," she said, although she kept her eyes shut and breathed through her nose and she didn't sound near as strong as she wanted to. "Don't yell at Digg."

"Why would you do that?" Oliver asked as she felt him sink down next to her, one hand coming to rest along the back of her neck.

"It was one stitch and that numbing stuff burns. I didn't think it would be that bad." he rubbed small circles on her skin and the churning of her stomach began to slow some. "However, I'm willing to admit it was maybe not the best decision."

She sat still for another five minutes and then chugged a glass of orange juice before she felt like she could stand without her legs giving out.

Oliver was in a suit which meant she needed to dress for work. With a sigh she suggested he join Digg downstairs to wait for her. His eyes lit as he began to argue but she stopped him by grabbing his tie and pulling him down for a kiss.

When she drew back there was a self-satisfied smile on her face and she stepped back three steps, liking the fact that she'd taken him by surprise.

"Go, I'll be down soon." she directed before entering the closet and shutting the door behind her.

She chose a looser skirt that wasn't tight on her leg and long enough to cover most of her bandage and went with low heeled boots instead of her usual heels. She'd be forced to use her contacts until she got a pair of replacement glasses.

Glad she'd thought to pack more than one bag she slipped in her laptop and phone and wondered if her purse had survived the blast or if she'd need to go through the headache of getting new credit cards and a new driver's license. That was something she'd need to remember to ask Lance next chance she got.

Carefully she made her way down the staircase, taking one step at a time as she still couldn't seem to walk normally on her left leg. The foyer was empty and she thought about calling out but she didn't know if that was proper or not and there didn't seem to be a maid hiding around the nearest corner that morning.

She heard voices however, and followed them down a long hall past the large room used during parties, until the voices got louder. The first person she saw was Digg standing just outside the open doorway. He gave her a smile and a nod of his head to let her know she was in the right place.

Oliver saw her, but it was Thea surprisingly who rushed over and pulled her into a hug. "Oh my god! Are you okay? Mom wouldn't let me go check on you last night but I saw the news and talked to Ollie and…" she shook her head and hugged her again while Felicity stood there in shock.

"I'm okay," she replied, wincing as Thea hugged a little too hard and squeezed her ribs.

Roy stepped forward and took her by the arm to pull her away, "Let's not crush Barbie to death there." he said and gave Felicity a shrug. "Glad you're okay,"

Oliver was at her side while she was still trying to process what had just happened.

"Are you sure you need to go in, Oliver? We could release a taped statement from here instead." Moira said as she approached,

"Mom, it's fine. The investors need to see me out of the house and the employees need to see me at work to know everything is okay."

Standing in the sunny sitting room she could see how pale he still was. The bandage on his head was smaller than it had been the night before but it was still noticeable and there were new bruises he couldn't hide. She'd at least been able to use concealer on the worst spots, although there was a shallow cut across her forehead that she'd left alone.

The fact that he was still using the cane told her everything she needed to know. She'd do whatever she could to make their day go as quickly as possible.

"I suppose there's no way to convince you to stay home either, is there Felicity?" Moira asked and she jumped, not expecting to be addressed. She went to push up glasses that weren't there and then clasped both her hands tight around the handle of her bag.

"Um, no. Where he goes I go."

She heard Oliver suck in a breath next to her and she turned to him. She hadn't meant her words to mean so much, but she realized they had.

Moira gave her a look not unlike the one she'd given her the night before when they'd had their talk, and Felicity could almost feel Thea's eyes boring into her.

"Alright, I know when to retreat." Moira said, holding up both hands in front of her, "But do try and be home at a reasonable hour tonight. You both look like you should still be in a hospital."

"We'll do our best, Mom." Oliver said before leaning over and kissing her cheek.

They said their goodbyes and followed Digg towards the foyer. The agent that had been in the hallway the other night met them at the door and Digg turned to them, "This is Mr. Monroe, he'll be with us until after the press conference. Another car with a separate detail will meet us there."

She was surprised Oliver didn't react to this. She didn't think he'd want someone new attached to them all day, but as long as they could get away and get to the lair that's all that mattered and it seemed like Digg had all that under control.

She gave the agent a smile, the last time she'd seen him she'd threatened him with a fireplace poker, "Good morning, Mr. Monroe."

"Morning, Ma'am, Sir." he said with short clipped syllables and there was no doubt he was a military man just like Digg.

Monroe rode up front with Digg and Oliver was quiet while she took her laptop out and started to get some of the searches going she had wanted to do.

Oliver had to nudge her when they got to the police station she had been so involved in hacking her way into several different store's payment processing servers. Looking up to see police officers walking past the car made her shut the lid quickly and give Oliver a wide-eyed stare.

"Maybe you should save the illegal activity for when we're not about to enter a police precinct." he whispered in her ear and she swallowed hard as she packed her computer away.

Oliver leaned over her to give the window a sharp rap and a second later it was open, Monroe's hand extended to help her from the car.

The other car Digg had mentioned pulled up to the curb and three more men in dark suits got out to join them. She shot Digg a slightly incredulous look but he just stared back and took lead. Oliver's hand fell to her back as they slowly made their way inside.

The sight of Oliver Queen, using a cane and surrounded by bodyguards was enough to make anyone stop and stare, including a few cops. Lance was waiting for them in the bullpen and came forward when they entered.

"Not sure you need such an entourage, especially in a police station." he said drolly,

"Just being careful," Digg replied and Lance nodded, his eyes cutting over both her and Oliver, no doubt taking in the bandages and bruises.

"Well, can't say I blame you." he said, scrubbing a rough hand over his head. He gave her a nod and motioned behind him, "Conference room is ready."

The Chief of Police, Captain of the precinct and the lead detective were all waiting as they entered. She didn't have to be looking at Oliver to know that his body filled with tension when he saw them.

"Mr. Queen, we were so very sorry to hear about the attack on your life yesterday and want you to know that the full resources of this department and the entirety of the SCPD are being used to bring this criminal to justice." the Chief said rising to shake Oliver's hand before he asked them to sit.

The image of the Chief of Police shaking hands with the city's vigilante was almost too good to be true.

Oliver took his time, first making sure Felicity was comfortable before he sat down himself. She could see the tense line of his jaw and the way his shoulders were drawn back and wanted nothing more than to be able to reach over and lay her hand on his.

When he was ready he set a steely gaze on the people in front of him. "Since I know the truth, and not the bullshit line being given to the press I know that Nathan Samuels has been in Starling for three days in order to continue to stalk, harass, and most likely harm Ms. Smoak. Until yesterday the only person in this department who even gave a damn was Detective Lance. Now that the top floor of Queen Consolidated is being blown out repeatedly on twenty-four hour cable news and I'm walking around with this cane there's a sudden interest in the case. I'd like a straight answer for why my life is considered more important than Ms. Smoak's." his voice was cold and controlled in a way she'd never heard before, even with the hood.

A warmth filled her chest and she had to drop her eyes for a second to make sure she didn't show too much. The undercurrent of anger that ran through Oliver was almost palpable and she wondered if the people who sat across from him had any idea how upset he was.

She looked up to see all three of them looking decidedly uncomfortable and it took the captain a few tries before he could form a sentence.

"Mr. Queen it was certainly not our intention to dismiss Ms. Smoak's case. At the time there was a lack of evidence that suggested…"

Oliver held up a hand and he stopped speaking immediately, "Lack of evidence? The man was held in a psychiatric facility for seven years because of what he did to her and the day he gets out he flies three thousand miles to show up at her place of employment. Later that very day her home is broken into and a threatening note left. She receives numerous harassing text messages the day after. Correct me if I'm wrong but that sounds like nothing but evidence to me."

There was more throat clearing and shifting in seats until the detective in charge spoke up, "There has been an escalation in the suspect's behavior. I've had a look over Ms. Smoak's previous statement and agree that he seems dangerous and unstable."

It was the best they would get to an admission of any sort and she knew it, she just wondered if Oliver would accept it.

"Yes, the bomb he had delivered to my office would suggest that." Oliver replied scathingly and she had to suppress a chortle with the back of her hand.

The detective decided to ignore Oliver and turned his attention to Felicity. She answered their questions as best she could, but she knew there wasn't much she could tell them that would be of any help. They were in the dark as much as she was when it came to finding him.

When they'd been there over an hour going over the same things repeatedly she'd started shifting in her seat, trying to find a position that didn't make her ribs scream, or put pressure on her leg.

It was Lance who knocked sharply on the door and stepped inside pointedly asking if she needed a break that caused the session to come to an end.

Oliver was assured once again they were doing everything they could to find him. He just nodded darkly and put a hand under Felicity's elbow to help her from the chair. Her leg almost buckled after being in one position for so long and he caught her at the waist.

"Maybe you need the cane more than I do." he joked quietly so only she could hear and she gave him a genuine smile, feeling some of the stress seep from her.

Lance offered her his arm and she took it gratefully as he led her from the room. She suspected he wanted a reason to talk to her alone and she was right.

"Did you get the list I sent you?" he asked

"Yes, and I'm already working on it. I think he's been staying near my apartment. The shops he'd need to buy those items at are all in the neighborhood."

Lance nodded in agreement. "I get off at six and then I'll take a few swings around the place, see if anything sticks out."

Digg approached and Lance stepped back making sure she wasn't going to lose her balance before he went to his desk and took out a blue plastic bag. "There's some smoke and water damage, but I salvaged what i could." he said as he handed it over.

She peeked inside and saw what was left of her purse, phone, and tablet. "Oh thank goodness,"

"It's technically evidence but...we've got a list." he said with a shrug,

Oliver was behind them, the Chief of Police still talking and she could tell he was almost at the end of his patience.

"Sorry, Detective I should get him out of here before something happens."

"I'll be at the press conference, just for crowd control. But if you need me before then…" she gave him a grateful smile and made her way back to Oliver's side.

"Mr. Queen, we really need to get going. PR wants to talk to you before the press conference." she said in her fake pleasant executive assistant voice. She also needed to sit on expensive plush leather and rest her leg for ten minutes, and maybe convince Digg to go through a drive thru because her head was starting to pound.

Oliver turned and looked at her like she was water in a desert, eyes filled with something more than she thought he wanted others to see just then.

She took the lead detective's card and promised to let them know if there was any further contact and then Oliver's hand was warm against her back and they were finally leaving.

Climbing into the car proved more difficult than she remembered it being when they'd left the mansion and when she cried out, half bent over, Oliver's arm around her middle was the only thing keeping her from falling to her knees.

"Sorry," she gasped out, trying to catch her breath "I wasn't expecting that."

"You should go back to the house." he all but growled in her ear and she shook her head no.

"I'll be fine." she insisted, and planted her feet securely under her to prove her point,

"You didn't take any pain meds this morning, did you?"

She hadn't, not on purpose but because it had slipped her mind. "No," she admitted

"Digg's got some,"

"Oliver, I can't. That stuff knocks me out and…"

His head lowered until it just touched hers and she could feel his breath brush her face, "I need you to be okay," for just a second he let his control slip and she could hear how close to the edge he was.

She turned as much as she could and wrapped her hand around his at her waist, "I'm okay."

"Mr. Queen, Ms. Smoak, we're beginning to gather an audience." Digg cut in from the other side of the car door and Oliver stood to his full height.

"Give her a hand into the car, would you, Digg." Oliver said, voice much lighter than she knew he felt just then.

Felicity barely had to do anything more than duck her head as Digg carefully picked her up and sat her in the seat, waiting to make sure she could scoot over on her own and sit back comfortably. "Sure you don't want the drugs?"

"I'm sure,"

Oliver passed her his cane and sat down with a grimace he couldn't hide.

"I thought it was feeling better."

He let his head fall back with a sigh as the door shut.

"Did you take any pain meds this morning?" she pushed and knew the look she would receive from him before it was sent her direction.

The drive to QC was too short to bother getting her computer out so she closed her eyes and enjoyed the few minutes of rest while she could. Oliver's hand found hers and she laced her fingers through his as they rode in silence.

They parked in the garage to avoid the throng of people and press that were waiting on the sidewalk. Once they were inside Oliver had to step ahead of her and greet the crowd of employees that were gathered to wish him well. Digg and the rest of the detail were close behind him, but she did notice that Mr. Monroe stuck with her.

Every now and then Oliver would glance back to make sure he could still find her and she'd give him a smile meant just for him.

Eventually they made it to a meeting room where the PR team was waiting. They detailed the briefing they'd written up and Oliver read it over quickly, making a few changes before he gave his okay and they hurried off to do last minute checks on the set up.

Digg made sure the room was secure and then waved the rest of the detail out. "I'll give you two a minute." he said and shut the door firmly behind him.

"You alright?" she asked immediately as she approached him and could finally do what she'd wanted to do most of the day which was wrap her arms around him.

He let out a long exhale and wrapped his one free arm around her back, holding her as tight as he dared. "Yeah, I just want this guy caught. We've caught people worse than him. Smarter, better trained, better resources...why is this so hard."

She laid her hand on his chest and looked up. The frustration and anger was pouring out of him and she knew he couldn't go stand in front of t.v cameras like that. "We will catch him. And the reason this is different is because he's just a regular guy. A regular guy with no past and who has had a very long time to plan this. He's ahead of us right now, but we're going to catch up. I'm not going to be held hostage by him any more. He already made me move across an entire country. He doesn't get to do that again." with each sentence she sounded stronger and more sure and by the end she believed it as much as she needed him to believe it.

She ran her hands up his chest and raised them to cup his face. "We're going to get him."

Oliver crashing his lips over hers was not what she expected and she moaned immediately into his mouth which led to his tongue sweeping across hers. Long, low swoops of desire made their way through her core as he pulled feelings from her she'd never experienced before.

The hand on her back had slid up to cup the nape of her neck, tilting her head to the side for a better angle. She scraped her nails through his stubble and heard an answering rumble from his chest. When she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth he actually groaned.

There was a loud knock on the door and she pulled back with a gasp but saw that it hadn't been opened. His eyes were dark and endless and it took everything in her to not kiss him again. She straightened his tie and smoothed his lapels and stepped out of his grasp. It was then she noticed he'd been leaning on the cane the entire time he'd been kissing her senseless. Apparently just one more talent he could add to the list.

"This won't take long," she told him, "Then we can head to the lair and...I'm going to find him."

"And I'm going to make sure he doesn't hurt you again."

There was another knock and this time the door did open and Digg stuck his head in. "Safe?"

She shot him a look and gathered up her bag, cutting one more glance over Oliver before they went out there. Her hand slipped into his and they walked all the way to the door like that. He squeezed her tight once and then let her go as he stepped out.

The plaza in front of the main entrance is where they had staged the press conference. With the large logo sign behind the podium it was well placed. She also realized if you panned a camera up directly over where Oliver would stand you'd see their office. A cold shiver went through her as she realized not twenty-four hours earlier the ground she was walking on had bits of his office all over it.

There was a sea of reporters and cameras and all around behind a barricade were hundreds of curious onlookers. She spotted Lance on the far side standing in front of one of the wooden barriers.

Digg and Monroe stayed to the back right while the other three agents flanked the other side, all standing with their hands crossed in front of them, eyes constantly scanning.

No one introduced Oliver and she saw the CEO mask settle firmly over his face as he climbed the two steps to the raised dais.

He greeted the crowd easily and there was a smattering of applause. He thanked them for their concern and then proceeded to read from the prepared statement.

Felicity found herself caught between listening to Oliver and looking at the rest of the crowd. For some reason the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up and she had the feeling she was being watched.

A shiver went through her and she stepped slightly closer to Digg. A late arriving news crew pushed through the people in an effort to get to the front and as the crowd parted she looked straight ahead and saw Nate.

Terror she'd never felt before shot through her and she was frozen as their eyes met. His gaze was cold and dead and she couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't speak as he stared at her.

With calm, calculated moves he removed a backpack she hadn't seen him wearing and held it up towards her.

Her stomach dropped and her knees buckled as she knew what the backpack contained.

It was Monroe that caught her before she hit the ground. Digg's head whipped towards her and she looked at him complete panic.

"What?!" he demanded and she turned her head back to where Nate was.

Except he was gone, but the backpack was still there.

"Oh god!"

Digg grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up, "What did you see?"

"Nate's here! He just left a backpack on the ground."

Digg's face showed a second of horror and then he was shoving her at Monroe before he bellowed to everyone around them.

"BOMB!"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Firstly, you'll need to direct your blame for the last cliffhanger to hopedreamlovepray on tumblr. The bomb in the backpack was her brainchild. Secondly, I'm continually amazed and grateful for all your support and love. THANK YOU!**

**I love this chapter a lot. Lots of good little bits I think. And no cliffhanger. Well, not in the traditional sense at least. :)**

**Enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

_Previously in 'Times Like These'..._

_Felicity found herself caught between listening to Oliver and looking at the rest of the crowd. For some reason the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up and she had the feeling she was being watched._

_A shiver went through her and she stepped slightly closer to Digg. A late arriving news crew pushed through the people in an effort to get to the front and as the crowd parted she looked straight ahead and saw Nate._

_Terror she'd never felt before shot through her and she was frozen as their eyes met. His gaze was cold and dead and she couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't speak as he stared at her._

_With calm, calculated moves he removed a backpack she hadn't seen him wearing and held it up towards her._

_Her stomach dropped and her knees buckled as she knew what the backpack contained._

_It was Monroe that caught her before she hit the ground. Digg's head whipped towards her and she looked at him complete panic._

_"What?!" he demanded and she turned her head back to where Nate was._

_Except he was gone, but the backpack was still there._

_"Oh god!"_

_Digg grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up, "What did you see?"_

_"Nate's here! He just left a backpack on the ground."_

_Digg's face showed a second of horror and then he was shoving her at Monroe before he bellowed to everyone around them._

_"BOMB!"_

Strong arms wrapped around her and before she knew what was happening she was being bodily moved back towards the building. She tried to stop and turn to see Oliver or Digg but Monroe wouldn't let her. All she could hear were the frantic cries as people began to panic.

With one wrenching effort that she'd regret later she spun from Monroe in time to see Oliver being hauled from the podium, Digg standing in the space he'd just been pulled from watching as the other three agents took Oliver to safety.

At the last second she heard him roar her name over top of everything else. She tried to call back but a forearm was wrapped around her waist and she was almost jerked off her feet while his name disappeared into the chaos.

Her cries of pain were ignored as Monroe did his job and pushed through a side door half carrying her as he moved further into the building.

The employees who were still inside were being told to head to the back of the building and they got caught up in the flow of bodies in a mass exodus.

Monroe must have spied a break because he suddenly darted to the right and she had no choice but to go with him. Her side was on fire and spots were starting to dance in front of her eyes from lack of oxygen. She hadn't been able to take a full breath since they'd started moving.

They burst through a door and then had to navigate a set of stairs that she mostly tripped down. He lifted her again and she felt her head spin as pain made her groan. "Sorry, ma'am, we have to keep moving."

Another heavy door and they were in the lower lobby. The cafeteria was ahead and all she could hear was a din of noise. People were huddled together in small groups and all the t.v's had been turned to the news which was already showing live footage of the plaza they had just evacuated.

Monroe kept her moving through the crowd until they came out on the other end and he was suddenly knocking hard on a door she hadn't even noticed.

It was one of the auxiliary security offices and the door opened immediately. Monroe flashed his identification. "Private security for the Queens. I need this location." he said quickly and the guard vacated his spot.

She was lowered to the only chair in the room and tried to get her breathing to even out but every inhale was like a knife in her side.

Monroe took up the space between her and the door and raised his wrist to his mouth, "The Queen is secure." he said and she shook her head wondering if she'd heard him wrong. She wasn't a Queen.

"Where are Oliver and Digg?" she managed to gasp out, hand clamped hard over her ribs, head thrown back as she attempted to suck air through her teeth.

"I don't know ma'am."

"Well isn't that your job? You're supposed to be protecting Oliver, and he isn't here. So where is he?" the whine of panic that had started inside of her the second she'd seen Nate had begun to grow.

"No ma'am. I'm supposed to protect you. You are my only detail. I was hired specifically to provide personal security for you."

She was stunned silent by this and vowed to have a word with Oliver the next time she saw him.

"I'll take that up with Mr. Queen, for right now I just need to know where he is. Please." tears slipped down her cheeks as she waited for him to do something.

With a sigh he raised his hand again, "What is the status of King?" there was a beat and then he nodded his head. "Copy,"

"Mr. Queen is secure and on his way here."

She let out a sobbing gasp of relief and sank into the chair, side protesting the sudden movement but she didn't care just then.

While her breath calmed she looked at the back of Monroe's head as he stared impassively at the door, "King and Queen?" she asked, afraid of what the answer would be.

"Codenames, ma'am. Standard procedure." he said without turning around.

"Of course," she nodded, "Who chose them?"

"Mr. Diggle, ma'am."

"Of course," if her head hadn't been throbbing she would have rolled her eyes, "John Diggle you're a dead man," she muttered under her breath.

The closed circuit cameras she was sitting in front of caught her attention and she swiveled in the seat and began tapping on the keyboard.

Monroe turned at the noise, "Ma'am?" he asked,

"Hush Monroe, we all have our specialties. Yours is protecting rich people. This is mine." the pain was momentarily forgotten and she was already distracted as she pulled up the cameras she wanted, the first being all the exterior ones, hoping she could find one of the plaza, the others were the ones in the cafeteria, hoping she'd get a glimpse of Oliver.

At the same time she pulled up all the video from the past two hours on the outside cameras and had it sent to her servers at the lair. Hopefully she could punch it into the facial recognition program and find out where Nate came from and where he headed when he left.

The plaza looked to be clear now except for police and a few camera crews trying to get too close. She could still see the dark shape of the backpack where it lay propped against a light post. Her only consolation was that it hadn't detonated yet.

Most of the employees had been moved from the cafeteria since one large wall was made of nothing but glass. So when Oliver and his three agents entered the first frame she saw them clearly.

"Oh god!" she gasped out, relief leaving her weak as she grasped the edge of the desk,

She climbed to unsteady feet and tried to move past Monroe but he blocked her way. "I'm sorry ma'am I can't let you go out there."

Unfortunately for Monroe he didn't know she went toe to toe with the Arrow on a regular basis.

"Monroe, I know you don't know me well at all. But it would really be in your best interest to get out of my way." she growled,

"Ma'am…"

"If you  _'ma'am'_  me one more time I will not be held responsible for my actions."

She glanced back at the monitors and saw that they were now more than half way through the cafeteria.

"WHERE IS SHE?!"

Oliver's yell was heard even through the door to the office and she gave Monroe a smug smirk.

His lips pressed together to say 'ma'am' once again but rethought, "I cannot let you out of my sight until I know the threat is clear."

"Then I guess you're coming with me," she said with a shrug and feinted right like Digg had taught her before darting under him on the left and pulling the door open before he could move. In the small space she had the advantage.

She ran out as fast as she could, ribs still begging her to stop moving but she looked to the left and saw him only fifty yards away.

"Felicity!"

She always loved the way he said her name, but that time may have been her favorite.

Cursing her injuries she started walking towards him. His cane was gone she noticed but his stride was sure and she knew he'd forgotten all about how bad his leg was.

Her eyes blurred with tears the closer he got. When he jogged the last few feet she knew she'd yell at him for it later. But right then all she needed was to know he was okay and to calm the fear that had filled her when they'd been separated.

His arms wrapped around her and she clutched tight to his shirt. She could feel his fingers digging into her hip and arm as he held her, murmuring soft words into her hair.

She breathed him in and let the security she felt when he was near wash over her. Then his hands were on her face, tilting her chin up and wiping the dampness from her cheeks. She gave him a watery smile as she saw the depth of his worry. His lips pressed to hers in a quick hard kiss and then he was pulling away.

"It was Nate, I saw him." she said in a quavering voice,

"You saw him? He was here?" Oliver replied, pulling her just a bit closer.

She bobbed her head as she worried her bottom lip, "He was in the crowd and...I felt like someone was watching me and then...he was there. He had a black backpack and he held it up like...he wanted me to see it. He wanted me to know. And then when I looked again he was gone." her hands covered her face as the guilt once again overtook her.

Oliver's hand slid into her hair and drew her towards him once again. "This is not your fault." he murmured into her head as she struggled to regain control.

"I told Digg what I saw and…" she broke off abruptly and looked around wildly before she stared at Oliver with wide frightened eyes. "Where's Digg?"

His brows narrowed, the crease between them deeper than she'd ever seen, "What do you mean? I thought he went with you."

The cold fist around her gut tightened as she whipped her head to see Monroe and the other agents surrounding them. "Where's Digg?" she shouted, "Where's John?"

"He was still outside when we brought Mr. Queen in, ma'am." one of the agents she didn't know said.

There were looks exchanged among the men and then Monroe raised his wrist to his mouth.

The explosion came from outside but it shook the foundation of the building and they could hear the sound of glass shattering.

Oliver reacted immediately, tucking himself around her and turning them so his back was to the threat. The other agents closed in and for a moment all she could see was the black of Oliver's suit.

The 'No!' that was torn from her throat echoed around them long after the shaking stopped.

"No! Digg!" she gasped and clamped down on Oliver's arms to keep herself upright. His eyes met hers and she saw the stark terror that she knew matched what he was seeing. Her head shook back and forth, as she refused to consider the worst.

She was so shocked she didn't realize at first when Oliver was setting her back, pushing her towards Monroe and motioning to one of the other agents to follow him.

"Oliver!" but he was already three steps away and her hands grasped at nothing but air as she reached for him.

"I'm going to find him!" he promised her and then cut his eyes to the other agents, "Keep her here!"

With the back of her hand pressed to her mouth she could only watch as he headed away from her at a run. All she could do was wait.

Minutes felt like hours as she paced in front of the giant glass windows. Monroe had tried one time to get her to go back into the office but she'd cut him down with a glare that needed no other explanation. Her side and her leg didn't hurt. Everything was numb and she kept moving just to prove to herself that she was still there. She couldn't consider any possibility other than they would both be walking towards her very soon.

She had one hand wrapped around her middle, the thumb nail of her other hand tapping impatiently on her lower lip as she walked the same five foot stretch of floor. The three agents were far enough away to give her some space but she still felt their presence. High pitched sirens sounded outside and she wondered if she'd hear them in her sleep as she scrubbed her palms over her face.

Digg would be fine. He had to be, there was no other option. The mere thought of there being any other option made a pain flare in her chest so quick and sharp she had to press a fist into her breastbone to try and make it stop. He would be fine she said to herself again. He had to be.

She almost asked how long it had been more than once, but knew she didn't actually want to know. All she wanted was for Oliver and Digg to come back to her whole.

"Ma'am," Monroe said suddenly, causing her head to turn so quickly her neck cracked. He caught her gaze and then nodded behind him.

Her eyes flew up to see Digg and Oliver coming towards them. Digg looked dusty and dirty, but he didn't look injured. Oliver was a half step behind, limping again.

"Oh!" she cried out, the relief she felt at seeing them leaving her temporarily stunned. But not for long.

"Digg!" she crashed into him full force and heard him grunt slightly. "You're okay. You didn't get blown up. I'm so sorry I said you'd be a dead man for those codenames, I didn't mean it. I'd never actually mean it." she shook her head and hugged him tight. His chest vibrated beneath her in a low chuckle.

"I'm okay, Felicity. And I'm not going to apologize for the codenames."

She leaned back and looked at him through wet lashes, "You don't have to. It's okay. I'm just so glad you're alright."

Oliver's hand dropped to her shoulder and for one brief moment nothing in her world was wrong.

"So what happened?" she asked, stepping away and wiping her face quickly,

Digg took a deep breath and exchanged a look with Oliver, "Come on, we can walk and talk. They want to know what you saw anyways."

The three of them fell into step, Felicity flanked by Oliver and Digg while the agents followed close behind.

"You saw Nate leave one backpack right in front of where we were standing." Digg said and she nodded. He took a deep breath before he continued. "That's not the one that blew up."

"Oh my god, there were two?" she asked in shock,

"There was another backpack found identical to that one on the other side of the plaza. That's the one that had the bomb in it."

Felicity rubbed her fingers across her temple as she tried to push away the throbbing pain that had been building all day. "I don't understand."

"He left two bags. One had an explosive device in it. The other the bomb squad is planning on doing a controlled detonation on just in case. Looks like the timing was designed for it to explode right after the speech was over when Oliver would have been doing interviews with the press."

She shivered at the thought and fought to keep herself from reaching back and grabbing Oliver's hand to hold like a lifeline.

Lance approached just then along with another man dressed in heavy black body armor. "Ms. Smoak." Lance called, "This is Lieutenant Davis, head of the bomb squad he wants to know what you saw."

With halting words she told them what she knew, Oliver's comforting presence only a few inches behind her.

Davis nodded, "We haven't been able to detect an explosive in the bag the suspect showed you, but we're not going to take any chances." he turned away from them and pulled a radio off his shoulder, "Get ready to do that controlled detonation."

"Should be safe enough to watch from inside. We'll let you know what we find." he said to Lance and then he was gone.

They followed Lance back up one floor to the large expanse of windows that looked out over the plaza.

"Better not go any further." he said with an arm outstretched and they all stopped about thirty feet back.

No one spoke as a large, metal box was dropped over the backpack. Several minutes later the area was cleared and there was a muffled boom that still made her jump as small wisps of smoke escaped the box.

Davis and another man removed the box and after waiting for some of the smoke to clear he knelt on the ground near the remains of the backpack. She watched him sift through the debris and pick up several pieces of what looked like paper.

He spoke into his radio again and a few minutes later another officer was calling to Lance. "Davis wants you. Says to bring the woman."

Felicity's back stiffened and she felt Oliver react next to her, his hand dropping to her back.

There was no doubt Oliver and Digg would go with her and as they followed Lance outside all she could smell was smoke and melted plastic.

"No device." Davis said when they were as close as he would allow, "Looks like it was just filled with stuff. Pictures, letters, things like that." he held a bit of a burned photograph in his gloved hand,

Lance took it carefully and then showed it to her. At first glance it looked like a younger Felicity, except when she studied the picture closer she realized it wasn't her.

"Oh, that's her." she said, her voice sounding strange to her own ears.

"That's who?" Lance asked

"That's Jenny. That's his girlfriend. The one that died and that he thought I looked like. He...uh...he wanted me to…"

Lance cut her off, "It's okay, I know what he wanted." he said gently and she swallowed over a lump in her throat. She'd forgotten he knew the whole story.

She swayed as everything caught up with her. Her leg, side, and head suddenly all screaming in protest at what she'd been put through that day. Oliver and Digg both grabbed her and she leaned heavily into Oliver's arm as she tried to drag enough air through her hurting lungs.

"Get her out of here. We've got enough." Lance said and turned back to Davis, "Bag it all. Maybe the sicko left a note in there we can piece back together."

She was barely aware as she was guided away from the plaza. There were shouted calls from reporters, but the agents formed a human wall to keep them from view. They waited out of sight near the large police vans but she hardly noticed what was going on around them.

"Where's the damn car?" Oliver growled, his impatience growing with each minute that passed.

"Mr. Diggle is having it searched, sir." Monroe answered, and she felt Oliver stiffen under her.

"Searched for what?" she asked, her brain too foggy just then to understand.

"For explosives, ma'am."

A wave of nausea rolled through her and all she could do was turn her face into Oliver's chest and wait for it to pass.

When the cars pulled up she eyed them warily but knew Digg would never let them get in if it wasn't safe.

"Dogs are going to clear the building, but it needs to be shut down for the rest of the day." he informed Oliver, who just nodded in agreement.

"Make sure it's safe before anyone else goes in there." he ordered gravely,

Oliver had her tucked under his arm, flush against his side as they left Queen Consolidated.

"Why is he doing this?" she asked in a dull voice, "He's never hurt other people before. I don't...I just don't understand. He was an engineering major but I didn't think he knew about making bombs and…" her throat was thick again and Oliver stroked a hand over her head,

"Shhh, you can't make sense of it so don't try."

"I need to figure this out." she said suddenly, pushing up off his chest and wincing at how much it hurt, "Digg, we're going the wrong way. We need to-" she was cut off by Oliver's mouth on hers and she whimpered into him, not understanding why he'd decided to kiss her just then.

"We're not alone." he whispered into her mouth and her eyes went wide in shock and shame as her eyes cut to the back of Monroe's head.

"We're going back to the mansion, Felicity." Digg said and she knew by his tone even if Monroe wasn't there they still wouldn't be going to the lair.

"You're still hurt. You need to rest." Oliver reminded her,

"No, there's too much to do." she couldn't rest if she knew she should be doing something to find Nate.

"And you can do it from the mansion." he said pointedly and then nodded to her bag where her laptop still resided.

He was right. Most of what she needed to do could be done from her laptop.

Resignedly she sighed and slumped back down into the seat.

His palm was warm over her knee and she tried to settle her nerves the last few miles to the mansion but all she could see and hear were the people in the plaza panicking as they ran and the few minutes she didn't know if Digg had been hurt or not.

When they pulled up out front Digg went to talk to the rest of the detail as Oliver helped her from the car. Her leg was almost useless but she gritted her teeth and swore to not show how much it hurt. She needed Oliver to stop looking at her like she could fall apart at any second.

As soon as the main doors opened Moira and Thea were rushing forward both wanting to hug Oliver as they threw question after question at them.

Felicity found herself being hugged by Thea and Moira surprisingly gave her a warm smile and took her hands in hers asking if she was fine.

All Felicity could do was nod as both Queen women turned back to Oliver to fuss. "I couldn't believe there was another attack at the office. We were watching the press conference and then...it was horrible. For a moment I thought I was going to lose you again." Moira said, her hand cupping Oliver's cheek.

Felicity was struck hard by what Moira must have been going through. Regardless of her part in the Undertaking she cared deeply for her children and Felicity had no doubt that her actions were motivated by trying to keep them safe. To have lost Oliver once and then after the bombing just the day before...she couldn't imagine what she had to have been feeling as she'd watched the broadcast.

The responsibility she felt at having brought all this on them hit her like a blow to the gut and she took one step back and then another until she was well separated from the Queens. Moira was telling Oliver that members of the Board kept calling and she'd been in contact with PR to come up with an appropriate message to send out to the investors.

She saw him sigh heavily and wipe a weary hand across his face. Those were the things his Executive Assistant should be handling, but just then she couldn't. She needed some time. She needed some quiet and some space.

With slow, careful steps she made her way as quietly as she could to the bottom of the staircase. She knew she'd never slip away completely undetected by Oliver, but she had to try.

She hadn't made it to the first step when he called her name and she paused, letting out a long exhale.

"Hey, where are you going? Are you okay?" he asked, his hand already on her elbow as he used that soft voice that seemed to be reserved for her alone.

"I'm fine," she said without turning and winced internally when she knew that had been the wrong choice.

"You're not fine."

She counted to three and turned her hips so she was half facing him. "No. I'm not. I need to...get to work. And I...just need a little bit of time, okay? So, go make your calls and I'll see you later."

Hurt and confusion flashed across his face and it was the last bit of guilt she could carry just then. Before he could say anything she began to climb the stairs. With each step she hoped he didn't call out or come after her, the last thing she could handle right then was some sort of scene in front of his family.

But he didn't, and she was three quarters of the way to her goal when her leg gave out and she had to grip the handrail quickly to avoid banging her knee on the riser.

The room was beyond silent and she froze, half bent over where she'd caught her balance. She knew without a doubt that he'd already moved and that he was only a few steps behind her.

"Oliver,"

It was one word but it held an entire conversation. She could feel the crackle of electricity between them and when she was certain he wasn't going to follow she straightened up and resumed her climb.

When she reached the top she didn't dare turn back, and the silence followed her all the way to his door.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you! I can't say enough how much I love all the reviews and support and love for this story. Please keep it coming! This chapter has a little bit of everything I think. :) Also, please note the rating has been raised. Not necessarily for this chapter but...why fight the inevitable, right?**

**Enjoy! And Let me know what you think!**

Oliver's hurt and confused face was all she could see as she walked into his room. She shook her head roughly to rid herself of the image and closed her eyes in a grimace as it only made her head throb.

Knowing she'd collapse if she stopped moving she headed straight to the desk in front of the large window and turned on the desktop computer he kept there. However, as soon as it began to boot up she let out a heavy sigh at the operating system it was using and knew it had been too long since an update.

She began the required updates while she brought out her own laptop and tablet and settled herself gingerly in the chair. Soon enough she had a set up that did its best to mirror what she had at the lair. She'd be able to remotely access her servers there but it would mean the work would take longer due to the security measures she'd have to take to ensure no one could track what she was doing.

The security footage she'd sent over was her first order of business and she plugged the video into the facial recognition program and let it run while she headed to the closet and kicked off her shoes.

She was surprised to notice that the clothes she'd worn the day before had already been cleaned and rehung. A quick glance around the room showed the bed made and the breakfast tray gone. She had to admit there were certain parts to staying at the mansion that she could get used to.

Her eyes trailed to the bed and memories of sleeping there with Oliver filled her mind. She was definitely already used to that.

The updates on Oliver's computer were going to take longer than she'd like and with a sigh she made her way to the bathroom. It was late afternoon but she was shaky and pale and knew she should just take the pain meds and pass out for a few hours but she was having a hard time reconciling that with her need to find Nate and make all of this end.

She stood at the counter, hands braced as she leaned forward letting out a long, controlled breath and did her best to ignore the way her ribs stung. The shower beckoned but she didn't know if she could stand that long, and then her eyes landed on the large tub she'd barely glanced at. For only a second she considered the stitches in her leg, but what Digg didn't know wouldn't hurt him and she'd deal with that later if she had to. Right then, sinking into a tub full of hot water sounded like exactly what she needed.

She didn't waste any time turning on the faucet. It was a challenge to reach the drain stop and she was breathing heavily when she was upright again, but the pain would be worth it. One corner of the marble platform surrounding the tub had an array of bath salts and oils and other products that she was sure Oliver had never used. A brief thought flit through her mind that they were there for his 'guests' but she dismissed it along with the flash of jealousy it had summoned.

Felicity selected a bottle of bubble bath and poured in a generous amount before she went to check on her set up in the other room.

Muttering about Oliver's inability to keep his computer up to date she knew she'd have at least half an hour before it was ready to use and the facial recognition program was still running.

The bath was full when she returned and she quickly shed her clothes and bundled her hair on top of her head in a sloppy knot.

Climbing in wasn't easy but she managed and soon enough she was sighing as she sank up to her neck in hot frothy water. Her leg stung fiercely at first but she ignored it and just enjoyed the way the heat seeped into her sore muscles.

The tub was beyond huge. Stretched out fully she could barely touch her toes to the other side. It was a good tub for two people she thought as she sat back and closed her eyes. Especially if one of those people was six foot one and built like a Greek god.

But all too soon her nice, pleasant, sexy thought of Oliver was replaced with his tired, worn expression as she'd left him on his own. Her stomach tumbled as she remembered leaving him when she should have been at his side. She hadn't known how to explain to him that she just needed some space to think and clear her head. Except now that she had it that wasn't what was happening at all.

Frustrated, and sad, feeling like she was failing everyone she picked up a cloth and dipped it in the hot water before covering her face with it and just lay there, breathing the humid air.

She didn't hear him enter, but she felt him. Her heart rate jumped and she did a quick check to make sure everything vital was well below the waterline and covered in bubbles but she didn't move to uncover her face. She waited until she heard him settle on the side of the tub and when a finger dipped into the water and stroked over her knee she shivered despite the heat.

Slowly she let the cloth fall, not opening her eyes until she'd laid it off to the side.

He was staring at her intently when she looked at him and it took every ounce of control she had not to ask if he wanted to join her. He'd shed his suit coat, and had his shirt sleeves rolled up, the tie loose around his neck with the top two buttons undone. Her mouth went dry at the image he presented sitting only inches away while she lay there naked beneath an ever evaporating layer of white.

His shoulders were slumped and there was a bone deep tiredness she saw that she knew he'd kept from everyone else. His eyes were pinched and the furrow between his brow was so deep it almost looked painful. And she knew she'd only added to his strain when she'd left him on the stairs.

"Hi," she said in a raspy voice that betrayed everything she was feeling just then. She slid a hand through the bubbles and reached for his fingers, grasping them loosely where they rested over the edge of the tub.

He replied with a small uptick of his lips, but no words.

She wanted to apologize. She knew she should but she also knew he'd brush her off and tell her she didn't have to and that made her mad. She wanted to feel responsible. She wanted him to blame her. Because that would mean she had some sort of control over everything that was happening. When everyone told her it wasn't her fault and gave her sympathetic looks it just made her feel like a victim and that's not what she wanted.

So she avoided it all, and drew her hand back before she spoke.

"How did the calls go?" she tried for normal or even nonchalant. What came out was something half desperate, half broken that made her shut her eyes tight and turn her head away.

His finger along her knee again made her glance up to see him looking even more disheartened than he had before.

"Fine. They were what I expected. And I still have to call Tokyo," he said checking his watch, "It'll be the start of business there soon." he sounded just as wrong as she did.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out, not being able to stop herself even though she knew what would come of it.

Except she was wrong.

He let his hand rest on the curved edge where the tub began and sat back against the pillar behind him, letting out a long exhale as his head tipped back. "I know what it's like to need to run, Felicity. When everything is too much and you just...need a chance to step back and find yourself again without all the other madness screaming at you. It's okay to need that."

Her chest tightened as he spoke because she knew he meant how he'd run to the island and she couldn't believe that her issues were anywhere near the equivalent. "Oliver…"

But he continued on like he hadn't heard her. "You handle this the way you want. Even if that means you run. Because I'll always come after you, just like you came after me."

The lines on his forehead had smoothed and his jaw had loosened. She stared at him in stunned surprise and a bit of awe, as she understood he'd released some of his own demons by telling her that. Because he'd realized if she deserved to be found then so did he.

She was almost taken aback by the swell of love that filled her, making her catch her breath. Understanding was mirrored back at her and a slow, easy smile began to form on his face. Suddenly she didn't feel the need to hide any longer.

The only noise in the room was the steady hiss of the bubbles popping and as she let the water work it's magic on her bruised body, Oliver's words and support did the same for her soul.

With a grin she raised her hand and lightly flicked water at him, "So... Mr. Monroe...were you ever going to tell me?"

His eyes widened almost imperceptibly but she saw. "Monroe?" he asked, playing dumb and she flicked water at him again.

"Yes, Monroe, the man who apparently you hired as a personal bodyguard for only me, and didn't think I should know about." his eyes shifted away for a second before they met hers, a challenge flashing through them. "Monroe is very talkative you should know. He's told me everything."

At that Oliver crooked a disbelieving eyebrow. Monroe's taciturn nature and impeccable professionalism had been obvious from the moment she'd met him.

"Well if he's told you everything then you don't need to ask." Oliver countered, quickly putting his hands up to avoid a drenching as she pretended to splash him in mock indignation.

"He told me nothing other than I was his only detail." she replied with a small pout.

Oliver became serious and nodded once, "I talked to Digg, and we decided it was for the best. There were going to be times where we couldn't guarantee either of us would be with you at every moment, especially when we were out, and today…" he scraped a rough hand down his face as memories flooded him, "today was a perfect example of what could happen. So if you're looking for an apology you're not going to get one. He did what Digg and I couldn't do and he kept you safe."

"I don't want an apology. But I wouldn't mind being filled in on things like this."

"That sounds like something I can live with." he said in agreement and she smiled in response. The longer they stared at each other the quicker her pulse began to thrum and she wondered if he was feeling the same.

Slowly she sat up and saw a spark light his eyes. Without saying a word she moved towards the end of the tub where he was sitting, never averting her gaze. The tub was so deep she could sit normally and just the top swell of her breasts were visible, but there was something provocative and a touch dangerous at being so close to him and so naked while he was fully clothed looking down at her.

She held in a smirk when Oliver's eyes dropped for a split second, but when he looked back his pupils had darkened to near black. Her hands closed over the lip of the tub where it met the marble and the breath caught in her throat when he ran the tip of one finger over the ridges of her knuckles.

Neither of them blinked as he traced the fine bones along the back of her hand, trailing slowly to her wrist and then back to where her fingers curled. With each pass a warmth spread throughout her body and it had nothing to do with the heat of the water. Her breath was shallow and she knew he could feel the tremors that shook her each time he touched her wrist.

When he'd mapped each line he let his fingers continue and she was unable to stop the strangled gasp that left her throat. She was gripping the cold porcelain tight, his touch making her shiver as he followed the line of her arm, across the sensitive inside of her elbow and up to her shoulder. He paused there and seemed focused on one particular spot. When she looked she realized he was circling a rather large bruise, but he was gentle and it didn't hurt.

She was hyper-aware of every point of contact and when he skimmed across her collarbone her eyes fell shut and her head tilted to the right as she gave up the fight. His thumb ran just where the water met her skin and she was sure if he didn't kiss her soon she might spontaneously combust.

It felt like forever before she felt his hand just graze her throat and cup her jaw. The swirls of heat in her belly were gathering quicker as electricity seemed to spark from each place he'd been. Her entire hand and arm were alive with fire, like he'd left some sort of impression of himself under her skin.

Then he was tilting her chin up and she fluttered her eyelashes open just in time to see him leaning in. His other hand framed her face as his lips dropped to hers. She pressed up into the kiss, not wasting time as she opened beneath him, tasting the distinctive flavor of the whisky he must have drank right before he made his calls.

She moaned low in her throat and leaned in closer as his hand left her jaw and fell again to her shoulder and then down her back. Felicity gasped his name as his fingers trailed down her side and under the water. A thumb brushed the side of her breast and she moaned again, swirling her tongue around his, stroking it slowly until she pulled a noise from his chest she'd never heard him make before.

When his hand traveled north again she almost whimpered at the loss. He retraced his path, coasting over her shoulder, down her arm and ending at her fingers. His mouth pulled away from hers at the very moment he broke contact with her knuckles.

It took her a few seconds to open her lids, and when she did she was greeted with a dark vortex of desire brewing in his normally blue eyes. Her heart was pounding so fast she knew her pulse had to be visible in her neck. She licked her lips subconsciously and the half-lidded look of want he gave her sent bolts of heat to her core.

His jaw tightened and she watched as he gathered himself and purposely pushed to his feet, checking his watch as he stood. He swore violently under his breath and stalked to the sinks.

Felicity lay her folded arms in the spot where he'd been sitting and perched her chin on top. It gave her an almost giddy sense of pride to see him so affected. He ran cold water on his hands and splashed his face before drying off. His gaze caught hers in the mirror and she grinned saucily for which she was granted a lifted eyebrow in return.

He looked at his reflection again and before she could say anything tore off the gauze square taped to his temple. She let out a disapproving huff, and crooked a finger at him that she knew he could see.

With a sigh he turned and approached the tub. Her neck was craned upwards to see him and all she had to do was tilt her head to the side and give him a look. He knelt down and she rewarded him with a smile.

Grabbing the cloth she'd used earlier, she dipped it in the water once before she wrung it out and carefully took his chin in one hand. He relaxed into her hold as she raised the cloth and gently washed away the dried blood. The cut was healing, but the bruise around it looked tender. Looking down quickly she saw his eyes were still shut and she raised up on her knees to brush a quick kiss over the spot. Cool air made her nipples harden as they broke the surface of the water and when she lowered herself and looked at him again his eyes were open, but they gave away nothing.

He pushed to his feet and turned back to the counter, studiously avoiding her gaze. She watched without embarrassment as he redid his buttons and tightened his tie. When he rolled his sleeves down she had to stifle a giggle when he noticed the cuff on his right arm was wet. He checked his watch again and muttered another curse as he did the button with a deft flick of his fingers. She knew he didn't have time to change.

A wicked smile crossed her face at the thought of knowing he'd have a wet sleeve all through his video call halfway around the world because he'd been feeling her up only minutes before.

He caught her look in the mirror and paused, "Proud of yourself?" he asked dryly and she only nodded. He looked back and was about to say something but he stopped himself and his gaze shifted filling her with heat again.

"I'll be done in about half an hour. Take some meds, get some rest." he said and she nodded again, knowing there was a slim chance she'd actually do that.

Just before he left he turned back and gave her a wicked grin of his own. She narrowed her eyes in question and he lifted his chin towards the tub. "Your bubbles are gone."

Her gasp was swallowed up by the door shutting as she turned as fast as she could to see he was correct. The bubbles were gone, and he'd had an excellent view of her ass.

She tried to settle back into the now cloudy water but her thoughts kept straying to Oliver, and that kiss and finally she pulled the drain with a sharp jerk and climbed from the tub.

Her muscles were warm and loose for the first few minutes. The view that greeted her in the mirror made her cringe. One side was peppered with bruises from her shoulder to her knee, and the other hadn't done much better, especially the area around her stitches.

She dried the wound carefully and applied a generous amount of ointment before she covered it up. Bending over to place and tape down the gauze coupled with the heat of the bath left her breathless and lightheaded. Knowing she'd regret it when she passed out within the hour she begrudgingly took two pills from the bottle Oliver had left on the counter and made her way to the closet to procure another one of his shirts, now doing it because she knew he liked it and so did she.

The updates were finished she noticed as she passed by and she eagerly took a seat, propping her hurt leg on a nearby ottoman while she drew the other foot up in front of her, letting her lean some of her weight away from her injured ribs.

With the security footage ready she filtered through the facial recognition program, cringing when Nate was spotted entering the plaza only a few minutes before the speech was set to start. He'd come in with other curious members of the public and seemed to blend in. The black backpack against his black jacket was almost invisible and the second one he carried easily in his hand, looking no different than any of the other people there.

As the cameras changed the program picked him up as he made his way around the perimeter of the crowd and stood behind a group that had obviously come together. The first backpack was dropped just as Oliver took the podium. She watched with her heart in her throat as he wove through the people and came to stand right in front of where she knew she'd been.

She, Digg, and Monroe were too close to the building to be visible on the camera but she went cold again as he lifted the bag her direction and then sat it down carefully. The next few seconds were chilling. With no sound there was no way to know when Digg had yelled until suddenly people began to flee.

Nate had started to leave the way he'd come in as soon as he'd dropped the bag, but when others caught up with him he ran too. She lost him once, but spotted him just as he turned the corner to cut up the street QC bordered.

"Gotcha," she muttered.

There were three banks along that street that all had ATM cameras she'd used before. Typing furiously she accessed their cameras and sat back, waiting as the video she wanted was added to her program.

The second camera showed him hailing a cab and she paused the video with a tight smile and zoomed in on the plates before shooting off a quick email to Detective Lance. He shouldn't have any trouble finding the driver who picked Nate up or where he took him.

Feeling reinvigorated and a bit euphoric thanks to her meds she refocused her efforts on running the searches of the bomb materials and where they'd been purchased. Several of the stores near her apartment came up with sales of specific items the day before the bomb was delivered.

She was waiting to cross reference the card numbers used to make the purchases to see if they matched, but only three of the stores kept their systems online and there was lag due to her bouncing the search through multiple servers to keep the lair protected.

Her eyes grew heavier and heavier and the running strings of numbers across the screens were almost hypnotic. She told herself she'd only close her eyes for a minute, and that's the last thing she remembered.

When she woke up it was dark, her head felt slow and heavy, and she could hear a familiar deep voice close by.

Felicity lay in the bed as the fog in her mind cleared. The voice she realized was Digg's and she pushed herself up on her right arm, covers falling to her lap as she took in the sight before her.

Digg was sitting in the chair at Oliver's desk, her makeshift lair set up in front of him, and when he turned his head slightly she could see a comm link in his ear.

It only took her a few precious seconds to make a quick scan of the room and see that Oliver wasn't there.

"Where is he?" she demanded before she'd fully made it from the bed and stalked as menacingly as she could towards Digg.

She saw his shoulders come back as she approached and give a soft sigh, "She's awake," he said resignedly

"Give it over," she said through gritted teeth, holding her hand out for the comm link.

"Felicity…" Digg began and she cut him off,

"Don't! What does he think he's doing?" she couldn't believe he'd go after Nate without telling her first.

"Your intel hit." Digg said in that terribly even tone of his that usually helped calm her down, but just then all it did was infuriate her.

"Digg! Where is he?!"

His eyes dropped and so did her stomach as she suddenly realized there was something going on she might not want to know.

"What is it?" she asked warily,

"You were right, that Nate had sent those texts from your apartment." he waited for her to nod, that wasn't new information. "Between what we've got here and an email that came from Lance a little bit ago...it looks like he never left."

"What?" she asked breathlessly.

"He's been holed up at your place for the past twenty-four hours, at least."

She felt like the floor had dropped out beneath her. Knowing he'd been in her place to leave the hair dye and then to send the texts had been disturbing enough. But to know he'd been living there...making his bombs there made her head reel.

Warm hands on her knees brought her back and she startled when she saw Digg kneeling in front of her as she now sat in the chair.

"Oliver went to my apartment. He went after him." she said, voice choked.

"Yeah," Digg confirmed, "Left about an hour ago, had to swing by the lair first."

She nodded and blew out a long breath, "How'd he get out of here if it's surrounded by security, and I'm assuming the press."

Digg actually smiled and shook his head at that, "I asked him the same thing, but he assured me he had a lot of practice sneaking out of his room and off the property in his pre-island days."

She let out a small snort of laughter, "I'm sure he did," she said sardonically,

The air stilled as a veil of seriousness settled between them, "Is he okay enough to do this?"

Digg scrubbed his palms down his thighs and climbed to his feet, "He says he is."

"What do you say?" she had to turn and look at the screens, she couldn't keep her eyes on him as he answered.

"I think it's a good thing Nate doesn't seem to be that much of a physical threat. He'll be fine."

The results from the stores were scrolling past, the same gift card numbers highlighted as well as a timestamp and the itemized list of what was bought.

"No...not a physical threat," she said distractedly as her brain began to see a pattern and put the pieces together. Fingers flying she pulled up the report from the bomb squad and saw there was a new one from the one at the plaza. A cold, gnawing terror was growing and she felt Digg step closer to her, knowing she was on to something. "He's not a physical threat...but he is smart. Smarter than I think we're giving him credit for."

The amounts that Nate had bought were too much for only one or two devices. But it wasn't too much for something bigger, like wiring an entire apartment building.

Her hand whipped out and snatched the comm link from Digg's ear, slapping it in place before he could react.

"Oliver! Where are you?" she asked, desperate as she worked to pull up his location on the screen.

Her heart dropped as she saw the blip appear just as he answered,

"I'm on your fire escape, the place looks empty but I'll check it out in case he's still here."

"NO!" she cried, half rising from the chair, "The apartment is going to explode!"


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry for the wait! Thanks for being so awesome and so fantastic as always. I love the enthusiasm and support for this story, you're all the best. I hope certain...aspects...of this chapter make up for the cliffhanger and the wait. :) Enjoy! And please let me know what you think!**

_Previously in 'Times Like These'..._

_"Oliver! Where are you?" she asked, desperate as she worked to pull up his location on the screen._

_Her heart dropped as she saw the blip appear just as he answered,_

_"I'm on your fire escape, the place looks empty but I'll check it out in case he's still here."_

_"NO!" she cried, half rising from the chair, "The apartment is going to explode!"_

 

Felicity braced herself on the edge of the desk waiting for the inevitable, waiting for her world to implode, but the horrible rush of noise didn't come.

She heard his breath catch and could almost see him, poised to open the window, but frozen still by her words.

With a stutter her heart restarted and she let out a great rush of air as she sank thankfully into the chair. Digg dropped his head in relief and gave a quick jerk of his chin side to side. "He's gotta be out of lives by now." he muttered and then he was grabbing his phone and calling in an anonymous tip to emergency services.

He stepped away and she could hear him give the address and details as she willed her hands to stop shaking.

"Oliver, get out of there. Digg's calling in the bomb threat and I'll let Lance know." she said in a trembling voice.

She could almost feel the frustration and anger rolling off of him from halfway across the city.

"Felicity…"

"I know," she said thickly, "Just...come home. We'll get him. We will."

He didn't want to come back though. He wanted to tear Starling apart trying to find him.

"Oliver…"

There was a low growl and then she could hear him moving. Trying to concentrate she sent Lance a head's up and then tuned the feed to the police scanners. They were already scrambling the bomb squad and calling for the building to be evacuated. Her stomach turned at the thought of all those people being sent from their homes late at night and possibly losing everything because of Nate.

Digg's hand squeezed her shoulder, "Good catch,"

Anger filled her and she shrugged out of his grip, twisting in her seat even though it hurt. "No, it wasn't a  _'good catch'._  You two didn't know. He went out there without all the information because you two decided to play cowboy without me. I'm part of this team! And Oliver almost got killed because I was sleeping instead of doing my job!"

Digg's eyes locked on hers, holding her gaze and she saw his jaw tighten as he thought about what to say.

It was Oliver that broke the tight silence. "It was my call, Felicity, not his."

"I'll deal with you when you get back." she bit off and threw the comm link on the desk.

"How could you let him go out there? Hurt and not thinking straight, and without all the intel? I didn't realize that's how we did things now." she was upset and pissed that they'd once again wrapped her in cotton wool and kept her pushed to the side. "I thought I was a part of this? The brains part! The part that keeps you from getting blown up!"

"You think I could have stopped him?" Digg threw back, eyes narrowing.

"No. Oliver does what Oliver wants to do. But you could have involved me so I could have at least tried." she spat, lips drawn into a tight line.

They both stilled and listened as more units were called to her building. She turned the chair and propped her elbows on the edge of the desk, hands steepled in front of her face as she waited to hear if there would be an explosion or not.

For twenty minutes they sat in silence, listening to the police scanners as her building and every building in a two block radius was evacuated. Hundreds of people were displaced as the bomb squad made preparations to enter her apartment. She couldn't help but think of her belongings, all the things that made up her life, and wonder if she'd ever see them again.

When she heard the order that the building had been secured and the bomb easy enough to diffuse by cutting through a wall to access the interior of her unit she let out a long breath and slumped forward, fingers pressing into her temples.

Digg sighed next to her and climbed to his feet. "Oliver should be back any minute. Call me if he isn't."

She knew he was leaving before Oliver got back because he didn't want to bear witness to the dressing down.

"Chicken.." she muttered under her breath, knowing he'd heard her as his step stuttered for a brief second, but then the door was shutting behind him and she was left to wait.

It was less than ten minutes before she felt a cool draft from her left. She knew it was Oliver even if she didn't hear him. She kept her eyes firmly fixed on the screen and didn't turn to look at him until she could see him standing only a few inches away in her peripheral vision.

There was a long pause where neither of them gave ground. The tension was thick and she could feel her fingers moving and see the images on the screen change but she wasn't sure what she was doing.

The longer the silence dragged on the angrier she became until finally she couldn't take it any longer.

"Thank you," she said heavily, "Those are the two words you're looking for. Since I just saved your ass in a pretty spectacular fashion."

She still stared straight ahead at her monitors but she felt him shift beside her and when he leaned towards her with a low rumble emanating from him she snapped. With a start she was pushing from the chair as she swiveled to face him. Her leg and side twinged with pain but she ignored it best she could.

"No!" she barked, standing to her full height and finally looking at him. "Why would you do that? Why would you go off on your own without all the intel? You're smarter than that! Why didn't you wake me or just wait? You're not lone man on the island any longer, Oliver, so stop acting like you are!"

His face was drawn into a scowl and although he had backed up when she stood he was once again toe to toe with her, leaning down slightly, arms held stiff with tension at his sides. "I had an opportunity, I took it! This has gone on long enough!"

"And look where it got you...almost killed!" she retorted, eyes flashing, not even realizing she was lifting on her toes in order to eliminate some of their height difference. "You can't-"

She was cut off as his hands clamped down on her upper arms, solid, but mindful of her bruises. And when he leaned over her further her heels dropped down to stand flat on the floor. "I can," he said low and gravely, and with the barest hint of control. "I can because he has tried to kill me twice now to get to you and that is something I cannot allow to happen."

There was a tremor in his voice she'd never heard before, and in an instant her anger dissipated.

He was scared.

She'd never seen him scared before, and the knowledge that is was about her, for her, made her chest tighten.

He still had that torn, haggard expression on his face and she needed it gone. Felicity slid herself forward until her chest was pressed into his front. His hands eased around her arms, and she felt a tingle shoot through her as his gloved thumb rubbed a small circle near her elbow.

When her hand came up to cup his jaw she waited for him to relax into her touch before she pushed up and kissed him.

She'd meant for it to be soft, and simple, and comforting.

But for Oliver it must have been the catalyst he'd needed.

His arms wrapped around her as he crushed her to him, mouth capturing hers almost desperately. This was unlike any other kiss they'd shared. He seemed primal as he all but devoured her. She clutched his shoulders, the cool leather slick beneath her fingers as he held her impossibly close. His mouth moved over hers hot and wet and all she could do was cede as he overwhelmed her in the best possible way.

There was a hand woven through her hair, the other splayed over the center of her back and she could feel the heat of his palm through his glove and the thin fabric of the shirt she'd borrowed from him.

She moaned low in her throat as his tongue tangled with hers, heart flipping in a near constant rhythm as long slow swoops of desire curled in her belly.

Her hands ran across his shoulders and inwards to his neck as she slid her fingers against his skin, stroking down until she came to the zipper that kept the jacket closed. She didn't think as she pulled it down, until she hit the leather strap of his quiver. With a frustrated growl her fingers moved blindly to the buckle, fumbling until she had it loose. The quiver hit the hardwood with a satisfying thunk, the clatter of arrows spilling over the floor making her shiver. She had to push back into his hold to make enough room between them to slide the zipper of the jacket all the way to the bottom.

She wasted no time in slipping her hands under the now open jacket, warm flesh and muscle under her fingers making her groan in appreciation as he shuddered from the sensation.

The hand on her back slid lower grasping her hip to pull her into his pelvis where there was no doubt to how much he wanted her just then. She gasped into his mouth as his lips trailed across her jaw and down her neck, sucking at her pulse point while needy little noises escaped her.

When he nosed the collar of the shirt out of the way and nipped at the hollow of her throat she couldn't help the way her nails dug into his sides. Oliver let out a growl and the next thing she knew his hands were slipping over his ass and under her thighs, lifting her in one smooth motion.

A short breathy 'Oh' fell from her lips as she wrapped her legs around his waist. The stitches pulled but she barely noticed. He skimmed over her bandage and kissed his way back to her lips, "You okay?" he muttered into her and she could only nod sharply and let out a sound of vague agreement.

All the blood in her body seemed to be rushing straight to her core as she rocked into him making them both groan.

His hand was under her shirt now, firmly running up her spine. When she felt the leather of his glove stutter over her skin she realized she needed to feel his hands on her.

She leaned back in his sure grip and let her hand follow his arm to where his palm cupped her right hip, kneading the flesh. Knowing he'd never drop her she pulled his hand away and drew it between them, eyes locked on his as she undid the closure of the gauntlet, biting her lip to control a small smirk as yet more arrows fell to the ground even if those were the shorter darts.

When that obstacle was gone she found the velcro at his wrist and separated it before she pulled the tight fitting leather from each digit until she could let it fall away forgotten. His fingers flexed before they trailed lightly over her cheek.

The gasp that came from her filled the room. It felt like a thousand sparks of lightning had flowed from his touch. Heavy eyes fell shut as she turned into his palm and pressed a kiss there, then he was pulling her back into him and claiming her mouth again.

When she needed air she dragged her lips from his, the dark pools that used to be his normally bright blue eyes made her stomach flip. She tugged on his other arm and he knew what she wanted. Easily he switched arms and she had to grasp tight to his jacket as his now bare hand was pressed into her like a brand.

With the second glove she didn't take her time, she undid it and ripped it from his hand as quick as she could, moaning a low 'yes' when he went straight for her shoulder, pushing the shirt aside as far as it would go.

Her head fell forward weakly, as she gave him as much access as possible. His bare chest beckoned from the opened jacket and she pushed at both sides of the heavy material, loving the aggravated grunts he made as he shrugged out of one side and then the other, the leather catching at his elbows.

"Better," she breathed out, not caring that it wasn't completely off, hands roaming over his pecs and down to his abs, feeling how the muscles rippled under her touch.

The shirt she wore was now rucked up around her middle, the only thing separating them her thin cotton underwear and his leather pants.

Both his hands were on her now, one running across her abdomen, making her twitch and jerk into him, the other still moving over her back, leaving trails of fire in it's wake.

She hadn't even known he'd been undoing the buttons on her shirt until he peeled one side back and was cupping her breast.

A keening moan left her at the contact. She arched into him, grimacing at the pull in her side but it wasn't enough to keep her wanting him to touch her more.

"Felicity…" it was a question, and he stilled as he asked. She knew if she said to he would stop right then.

Her hand snaked around the back of his neck and she used it as leverage to roll her hips into his, "Don't stop," she said breathlessly, groaning at how right the pressure was against her center.

The fingers on her hip dug in tight as his thumb swirled circles first over the edge of her underwear and then dipping underneath to find her hipbone. Unintelligible noises left her throat as her mouth fell open, waves of pleasure flowing through her.

She found his mouth and then his jaw, leaving a path of small nips and flicks of her tongue as she made her way down to the spot where shoulder and neck would meet. His head fell back with a growl as she sucked and laved the small dips and hollows, running her tongue along the tight, corded muscles like she'd always wanted to. Her name came from him so low and deep it no longer sounded like her name.

When his thumb cut over her nipple she moaned, mouth falling open as she now lay limp against his shoulder. Every touch, every pull, every roll of that small bit of flesh flooded her mind with desire and sent bolts of pure heat straight to her core.

His lips coasted over her ear making her shiver in anticipation as he once again worked his way down her neck, this time using his teeth to drag the shirt out of the way. When her entire shoulder was exposed he dropped slow hot kisses across the newly exposed flesh, leaving her to twitch and moan as electric surges seemed to shoot from each place he touched her.

Chest heaving, breathing labored, she let her hands roam, nails raking down his front loving how he reacted to her. When her fingers hit his waist she had a new mission. The leather belt that held the thigh quiver in place was in her way and she felt a flush of irritation as she had to struggle to eliminate yet one more obstacle.

He sucked air through his teeth when he felt her fingers working between them. She pulled back far enough to give him a triumphant grin when she undid the closure and began to work on his pants. The hand he slid over her ass, cupping and stroking so close to where she needed him was enough to still her actions for a moment.

She had just gotten the top of the pants open to slide her hand under the waist, discovering the hard line of muscles that cut in from his hips, and gave him a devious smirk when there was a loud knock on the door and the sound of the handle being moved, "Ollie!" Thea's voice called out, slightly muffled through the wood.

Felicity's head fell forward with a curse to press against his shoulder. "Thea! Don't open that door!" Oliver yelled out, the combination of anger and frustration at the interruption making his words ring in the space.

"Sorry," he said into her hair and she nodded once, reluctantly removing her hand from inside his pants, making sure to drag her nails over his skin as she did, feeling him shudder one more time.

He let out a sharp breath, hands tightening on her waist before she let her legs fall from around him, unable to keep a string of whimpers from escaping as her thigh throbbed and her breath caught. She had to lean against him for a moment as her head spun and she felt more than heard a low grumbling come from his chest. "Maybe I'm not so sorry now." he said darkly, hand coming up to cup her face, "You're still hurt."

She sighed heavily, "You don't know how much I regret that,"

Palms slid around her hips and then lower, to pull her into him, "I think I've got an idea." he said in her ear and she gave a groan as she stepped back and began to rebutton the shirt.

"You...change, I'll get rid of Thea." she offered, taking one more second to see him standing in front of her in nothing but his leather pants half undone, thigh quiver hanging partially detached, jacket pushed off his shoulders, and felt her heart stutter. She made a garbled noise and ran a hand through her hair before she forced herself to turn.

Just as she reached the door she pivoted and waved her hands frantically at the ridiculously sexy sight of his quiver and arrows strewn all over the floor, "And clean that up!"

Felicity opened the door only wide enough to slip out, "Thea, hey, what's up?"

The younger girl just raised an eyebrow in an incredulous look. "I came by to see if you two had seen the news. They think that psycho has set another bomb in an apartment building."

Roy coughed behind her, "I don't think they were watching the news." he said with a sheepish grin that she knew he didn't mean, "Sorry, Barbie, but…" his eyes cut down and she followed to see that in her haste she'd misbuttoned the shirt.

"Ew," Thea said with a wrinkle of her nose, "But also, I told you so! You too were way too handsy to be 'just friends'. And when I walked by earlier I heard all the yelling which, you were obviously just making up for, and again, ew."

Felicity didn't know what to say and could only try and shift from foot to foot, only managing one exchange before her leg let her know why that wasn't a good idea.

"Anyways, I really didn't come here to interrupt things I don't want to know about interrupting. But I thought you might want to know." she said with a shrug,

"Thanks, and...yeah...it's my apartment building. My apartment actually so...we know." the reminder of what was currently happening across town had a sobering effect.

"Oh my god!" Thea exclaimed, "That's horrible!" she grasped Felicity's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

The door behind her was suddenly wrenched open and she swiveled her head to see Oliver, now in a t-shirt and sweats braced in doorway, "Thea...Roy…" he said

"Thanks for putting pants on, always appreciated." Thea said with a smirk, earning her a glare from her brother,

"Everything okay?" he asked, ignoring her comment.

"I just didn't know if you guys knew about the apartment, it's on the news, but Felicity said...well, it's her place so...sorry, didn't know."

His hand dropped to her lower back and she leaned back into his touch, seeking his warmth and support.

"Yeah, we know. Detective Lance called when they got the tip." he lied easily and she would have to remember to tell him later it had sounded believable.

It was Roy who broke the silence, "Okay, well, we'll just let you get back to all that news watching then."

Thea gave her one more sympathetic smile, "Night,"

Oliver drew her back into the room, shutting it firmly behind them and she looked around, amazed to find no trace of anything Arrow related.

"Where did you…" she trailed off and waved a hand in the direction of where they'd been standing,

"Safely away," he assured her, coming up from behind and wrapping his arms around her waist. She leaned back with a sigh and let herself melt into his chest.

They were quiet for a long moment before she let out an irritated grumble. "What?" he asked, lips low near her ear.

She sighed again and turned, hands resting easily on his arms as she looked up at him through her lashes, "Nothing, just...I'm a little disappointed I didn't get to help you out of the pants." her voice was purposely breathy and a shiver shot through her at how quickly his eyes darkened with desire.

His hands slid around her back and pulled her in close, her head coming to rest just under his chin, "Trust me, I'm disappointed too." he said throatily,

She leaned back slightly, "Don't worry, I'll get my chance."

He cupped her face in his hands as he stared at her intently, "Yes, you will. As soon as you're better."

"Stupid ribs," she muttered just before his lips dropped to hers. The kiss was slow and languid and full of promises.

When he pulled back he pressed one more kiss to her temple and towed her to the couch, flicking on the t.v. as they sat. She curled into his side and they watched the coverage of the bomb removal.

"I don't understand...why rig my apartment to blow? And to make it big enough to take out the entire building…" she shook and felt Oliver's arm tighten over her shoulders. "What if I had gone back home?"

Oliver sighed, warm breath crossing her temple, "He must have known he'd be tracked back there. He's trying to take out anyone who could get in his way now."

They watched in silence for another two hours until Lt. Davis held a short press conference just after midnight and declared the area secure.

Felicity was only half awake when Oliver answered her trilling phone. A few short hums of agreement and the promise to be somewhere in the morning before she was being picked up and carried to the bed.

Too tired to protest she felt him wrap around her, pulling up the covers as he did.

"Who was on the phone?" she mumbled,

"Lance. The FBI is involved now. They want you to come down tomorrow." his voice was tight and she felt like he sounded. All she would do is answer the same questions over and over again; questions she didn't have answers to.

"I don't know what they think I can tell them." she said as she turned so she could lay against his shoulder.

"The initial reports are that it would have taken out the building but it wasn't a professional job. He's not as good as he would like to think he is." Oliver's chest rose and fell sharply as his fingers combed through her hair, "I'm going to get him." he vowed.

She didn't say anything, just lifted her head to press a kiss to his too tight jaw before she fell asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you all!!** **Hope you enjoy this chapter. I think it's got some good stuff in in (wink, wink). Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from you!**

 

For almost three days there was no movement from Nate. It was like he had disappeared, vanished into the ether and out of her life again just as he had been absent for the past seven years.

But every hour that ticked by left her more anxious and worried because she knew that wasn't the case. She knew he was out there somewhere, waiting, and biding his time, and planning something more heinous than anything he had already done.

The first twenty four hours after the bomb scare at her apartment Felicity mostly spent in a drug induced haze. Digg had insisted her ribs weren't going to heal if she kept running around and she ran the risk of a punctured lung if she kept it up. With much grumbling on her part, and crossed arms and hard stares on Oliver's part she reluctantly agreed.

Other than a brief trip to the downtown office the FBI had turned into a makeshift headquarters she hadn't left Oliver's bed much less the mansion.

The meeting with the feds had gone as she had expected, except they requested to talk to her alone which Oliver didn't take very well. She'd assured him she'd be fine and left with the agent without looking back. Less than an hour later they were leaving, although she still hadn't told him they were seriously considering putting her in protective custody. It had taken a considerable amount of talking on her part to convince them it wouldn't be necessary. Thankfully they'd seen her walk in with Oliver and his contingent of body guards.

For once they were lucky. Monroe knew a member of the task force that had been assigned the bombing case. She had a feeling that may have been the only reason she wasn't hustled out a back door into a waiting van and to a safe house. A slight shudder went through her at the thought of what Oliver would have done if that had happened. Which is why she mentioned none of it to him on the drive back to the mansion.

Although it wasn't even noon she had been exhausted and hurting when they returned and she only made two weak attempts at avoiding the pain meds, not missing the way Oliver and Digg exchanged looks over her head.

She woke up later that evening to find the room empty and tried to sneak her tablet to the bed but was caught on her way back. Oliver had quickly snatched it from her hands with a look as he swapped it with a glass of water and two more pills before calling down to the kitchen for a tray. She was awake long enough to eat before she slept again.

However, the next morning she was feeling only a bit achey. When she found she could take a deep breath with just a small twinge she smiled triumphantly and climbed from the bed with hardly any protest from her leg. She thought she might have to admit to Digg that her enforced rest was exactly what she needed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Oliver's voice came from behind her just as she was about to enter the closet.

She turned and gave him an easy smile over her shoulder, "Getting some clothes so I can take a shower and join the land of the living." it was just then she saw he'd placed a tray on the desk, complete with the bottle of pain medication.

"Felicity," he began and there was something off in his tone, something that immediately set her on edge.

"Oliver," she returned as she faced him fully and watched him set his jaw before he spoke.

"You need to rest."

"I've been resting. All day yesterday and all night, and the fact that you're up and dressed tells me it's probably already halfway to noon. I'm better." she stated, hating how her arms came up to defensively cross in front of her but he was throwing off vibes that made her think he wasn't hearing a word she was saying.

"You're not better!" he barked,

She didn't move except to raise both her eyebrows into her hairline as she gaped at him in shock. Something was going on with him. Something she was not understanding, but it still didn't give him the right to talk to her like that.

"I think I'm the one who gets to decide if I'm better or not." she threw back before stalking into the closet and grabbing the nearest articles of clothing she could find.

He was blocking the doorway when she went to exit but she kept walking, hoping he'd step out of the way. But he didn't. Instead he stood his ground and she had to pull up short or risk running into him.

His eyes were a storm of emotion she couldn't decipher and a gnawing pang of worry crawled out of her belly as she considered the possibility something had happened he hadn't told her about.

Without saying a word he snatched the clothes from her and tossed them aside. "Get back in the bed." he ordered,

"I beg your pardon?" the worry she'd just felt was gone in a flash at his action, "You do not get to bully me around, Oliver Queen, that is not how this is going to work." she motioned back and forth between them with her finger. "If you think for a second that just because we're...whatever we are now this is how it's going to be you're delusional. So you can either tell me what the hell is wrong with you or you can get out of my way."

Her breathing was erratic, and she knew her heart was threatening to beat out of her chest, but she didn't dare blink as they glared at each other.

"There is nothing wrong with me," he said between his teeth, "You can't be trusted to take care of yourself. You're not fine. You're not better. So get in the damn bed!"

The last part he yelled so loud it actually made her flinch as the noise echoed in the space of the closet.

"How dare you!  _I_  can't be trusted to take care of myself? Are you actually saying those words to me?  _You?!_  The one who gets shot and stabbed and puts in his own stitches likes it's no big deal. Oh, and let's not forget the flatlining and needing to be shocked back to life! Or needing CPR because you're technically dead! Yet you think you can stand there and tell me I'm not taking care of myself. That's rich." she was seething now, never had he induced this sort of rage in her before.

His hands clenched at his side and the veins in his neck stood out as he struggled for control. Anyone else would be scared just then but she was the exact opposite. He was being pig headed, and stubborn, and coddling her for no good reason and she had no intention of standing for it.

She narrowed her gaze as she pressed one finger into the dark blue henley he wore, "And I know you haven't been sleeping. I woke up last night and saw you pacing in front of the windows, so whatever is going on in your head right now you'd better spill before you make an even bigger ass of yourself."

"This has nothing to do with me," he said, voice gravelly, nostrils flaring, as he leaned in just that much closer. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, you seem real fine to me." she scoffed, "Yelling orders at me, and not listening to a damn word I've said does not constitute 'fine' in my book!"

"Everything okay in here?" Digg's careful voice came from behind Oliver, causing him to spin suddenly and give her the opening to slip beneath his outstretched arm and stalk into the main room.

Digg's gaze flicked from her to Oliver as he clearly picked up on the tension between them. "I knocked but I don't think you heard me." he quipped dryly,

Oliver's eyes narrowed further, the deep crevice in the middle of his forehead standing out starkly but she just threw him another glare.

"Well, sorry, I had to use my loud voice because  _this one_  is insisting on being a neanderthal today!" she said angrily, waving her arm in Oliver's direction.

He stayed stoic, arms crossed over his chest, but she could feel his look burn into her.

There was a long beat of silence before Digg addressed her, "How do you feel?" he asked pointedly,

"Better. Much better." she answered, stressing the words, moving purposely so she was facing Digg and not Oliver.

He gave her an appraising look and snagged the bottle of pills off the tray. At her immediate response to fight him he held up his hand while he slipped the bottle into his pocket, "I still think you need to take it easy. There hasn't been any movement from Samuels, another day resting would do you good."

At the mention of Nate's name and the reminder that he'd been quiet for the longest period since this all started Oliver scrubbed both hands over his face and took three quick strides to the window, his back now to the room, and them.

She was still angry with him, but their conversation after he'd come back from her apartment two nights before struck her hard. He was still worried, and scared, and the lack of information on Nate had to be driving him crazy as he waited for the next attack at any moment.

"I'll be good, Digg, promise." she said, voice much softer than it had been, her eyes never leaving Oliver's stiff form.

"Here," Digg reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a slim black case, "They were delivered first thing this morning."

She opened it up to reveal a pair of glasses exactly like her old ones. "Oh, thank you!" she'd gotten tired of either wearing contacts or nothing since the bomb had gone off in the office. Hurriedly she slipped them on and sighed happily at the correct fit.

Digg shifted next to her, not sure if it was okay to leave and she felt him look between her and Oliver, eyes questioning if they would be alright. Without words she assured him that she'd be okay, and he patted his pocket once to let her know he had the pills if she wanted them.

Felicity didn't move until she heard the door shut and then she crossed her arms in an unconscious mimic of Oliver and waited.

If felt like forever before she saw his shoulders drop and his head tilt forward minutely. "I'm sorry,"

Her feet were moving before her brain had caught up as she came to his side. There was only the slightest hesitation before she raised her hand and let it lay along his arm.

She felt the muscle tense and then relax under her touch as he took two more controlled breaths in and out of his nose and opened his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, and she could tell he meant it, it wasn't forced, and he wasn't saying it because he thought it's what she wanted to hear, but there was still a bit of steel in his voice and his eyes hadn't softened any.

She waited, not saying anything as he struggled to find the words to explain his behavior. Her patience paid off when he lowered his arms to his side, hands open and not grasped into fists. "He's still out there and we are no closer to finding him, " he began, "I keep waiting for a call telling me there's been a security breach, or to hear the sound of another explosion." his eyes shut again and his head shook sharply to the left as if he was trying to rid himself of the sound only he could hear. "If you're...if you're in the bed I know you're safe." he finished, "I know it's not fair to you. I know I shouldn't have said what I said but…"

She let her hands rest against his abdomen, fingers gently gripping the material of his shirt, "I understand." she told him, blinking suddenly wet eyes, "I don't approve of the growly voice, and the general ordering me about, but I understand why you feel that way. Every night you put on the hood part of me wishes you wouldn't. If I could find some way for you to take out the bad guys while staying in the safety of the lair I would do it in a heartbeat. But...you have to go out. And you have to let me live my life and get out of bed." she said with a slight head tilt that finally got his face to loosen some.

His hand raised, trailing along her arm until he could cup her cheek. Lashes fluttered shut at the warmth of his touch and she allowed herself a moment to enjoy the sensation. When he gently brushed against the frame of her glasses she opened her eyes to see him looking down at her with a much easier expression. "I missed these." he said, nudging the dark frames again and she couldn't help smiling.

"Your Girl Wednesday is officially back," she replied making sure she reached up and adjusted the glasses like she always did. The spark of light in his eyes and small uptick of his lips let her know it was a good choice.

"You're more than just my Girl Wednesday," he said throatily, as his arms wrapped around her, drawing her in close. She took a slow breath and let it out before she sank into his embrace. "I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear.

"I know," she replied, her lips just brushing his neck as she spoke.

Her hands released the hold they had on his shirt and slid around to his back. He held her tighter and she couldn't resist pushing up on her toes, lips just dragging across his jaw to his ear, "Just so you know, when you yelled at me to get in the damn bed...I was pissed, but...it was also really hot."

A strangled groan left his throat and before she could blink a hand was sliding into her hair as his mouth found hers. She could almost taste his desperation and worry as well as the tension they had both built up during their altercation in the closet.

Her hands left his back to find his chest again, gripping handfuls of his shirt to tug him closer before she angled her head to the right and swept her tongue over his. It took little effort to walk him backwards until the back of his knees hit the low bench in front of the large bay window.

One push and she was now looking down at him. Eyes dark with desire now instead of anger she bit her lip and grinned naughtily before she took her time lifting one knee to place along the outside of his hip.

His hot palm dropped to her thigh and wasted no time skirting north, the thin fabric of the dress shirt she still wore moved aside like it was no more than tissue paper. She braced herself on his shoulders and slid forward before lifting her other leg and settling on his lap.

Oliver's hands immediately spanned her waist, the shirt rumpled beneath his tight grip and the dark swirls she saw in his eyes made her core clench in anticipation. He swiftly tugged her forward until her abdomen was pressed to his chest, his face level with the vee of the shirt.

He didn't waste a second of this new position as hot, wet kisses were laved across the space where the shirt was unbuttoned. Her head fell back as her fingers scraped through his hair, nails digging in with just enough pressure to make him emit muffled moans as his tongue and teeth made their way across her chest.

Her hands fell to his neck, dipping under the collar of his shirt before they slid down his back and gathered handfuls of fabric, pulling upwards almost desperately as she tried to rid him of that barrier. When they'd done this two days ago she'd never barely gotten his hood off and she was not going to fall victim to that oversight again.

He chuckled slightly into her skin before he pulled back, leaving her balancing on her knees as he quickly stripped the shirt over his head. When his hands came back down they went straight for the remaining buttons that kept her covered.

Felicity's hands dropped to his shoulders, and time seemed to still as she slowly and carefully began to map each muscle, each dip, and valley, and ridge that lay beneath his skin.

A gasping hiss escaped her throat when the shirt was fully unbuttoned and she was suddenly pressed against his chest, bare flesh on bare flesh for the first time. Her mouth fell to his ear as he seemed to be acquainting himself fully with her collarbone. When he sucked one particular spot she could only clutch the back of his neck as she sagged into him, high little mewls the only noise she was capable of making.

With a groan she grabbed his face and dragged it up until she found his lips. His hands slid up her back, the shirt falling off one shoulder as his tongue stroked along hers making continuous shots of heat go straight to her core.

Suddenly he was on his feet, hands cupping her ass as her legs automatically crossed at his lower back. A few long strides and they were at the bed, his mouth continuing to move over hers as his hands slipped past the band of her underwear making her back arch, driving her hips into his.

He let out a stuttered groan and quicker than she could blink she found herself placed diagonally on the bed with Oliver pressed on top of her. The welcoming weight of his body washed over her as she writhed beneath him, hips canting upwards uncontrollably seeking out any pressure they could find.

Carefully, almost reverently he plucked the glasses from her face and folded them before he reached across and laid them on the table next to her phone. She smiled at him dopily as her hands skimmed up his arms and across his shoulders.

Now that she had her hands on him she could finally feel the extent of the damage and torture he'd gone through. Scar tissue riddled his back, small thin lines and larger swaths of destroyed flesh ran beneath her hands. Never once did she avoid a mark, avoid a scar, or a burn, if anything she took more time with those spots, making sure she covered every inch. The unmarred skin was smooth, the muscles rippling just below the surface as she trailed her fingers up and down his spine, just delving into the waistband of his pants when she reached his lower back. His pelvis surged into hers and she brought her knees up on either side of his hips, letting him settle that much closer to where they both wanted him to be.

His name fell from her lips on an exhale as he attacked her throat, her hips twitching and jerking up into him as she couldn't control her response any longer. The pool of heat in her belly was quickly spreading, and although her ribs occasionally gave her a stinging reminder that she wasn't fully healed she ignored it easily.

When his hands skimmed her waist and then slowly began to make their way north the breath caught in her chest. His fingers moved over her ribcage with enough pressure to not be ticklish and instead sent shivers of desire coursing through her. Just below her breasts he paused, his thumbs coming in and then up to meet at the center of her chest. In tandem they ran under the curve of her breasts, teasing her by staying inches away from where she needed him the most.

A string of unintelligible words and sounds came from her when without warning the thumbs that had been so slowly driving her to the brink flashed out to cut across her nipples. She was pressed up on her shoulder blades, head falling to the side as she gasped with need. His hands covered her breasts now, fingers alternating between rolling and pinching the sensitive bit of flesh before his mouth dropped down and joined in.

At the first touch of hot tongue to pebbled skin she keened, hands grasping in his hair, his shoulder, the soft duvet they lay upon, anything where she could find the slightest bit of purchase incase she flew away.

Teeth gently tugged her nipple as she pressed into him as tight as she could. His hard length was solid against her center, the thin underwear she somehow still wore and his pants the only thing keeping her from him.

A small cry of desperation left her as her hands scrabbled for his belt. He pushed up some on his elbows, giving her more room to work but her hands faltered as he sucked the nipple into his mouth and swirled his tongue over the tip. She felt a flood of wetness fill her core as the build up inside her grew.

He was the first to hear the trilling of her phone, a long, frustrated growl rumbling from his chest as he released her with a wet pop and raised his head.

"Don't answer that," he ground out, lips nipping their way over to the breast he had neglected.

Her eyes shut in defeat when his mouth began to work it's magic once again, fingers gripping the short strands on the top of his head tightly as the phone stopped ringing. She was gasping, chest rising and falling in short pants when it began to ring again.

On the third ring she pulled her head up and looked down, the sight of him working his mouth over her was almost too much, but the fourth ring made her look to her right where she could just see her phone and the picture that let her know it was Detective Lance calling.

"Shit, it's Lance." she said breathless, hands falling to his shoulders to push him away.

"You can call him back later," Oliver again growled, his hands trailing down her middle and around her navel, making her tremble.

"Oliver...what if it's important," she had to swallow heavily as he took a particularly hard draw on her breast that left her lightheaded. She gasped his name again, her ineffectual struggling coming to a stop as his hands seemed to be everywhere at once. But when the phone began to ring for a third time she knew she couldn't ignore it.

With a grumbling groan she reached sideways, even as his lips did wondrous, devious things to her, only to find her ribs did still have limits and she couldn't quite reach the side table. A hiss of pain escaped her lips as she brought a hand up to cover her side, half laying on top of his hand. "Oliver, my phone."

He didn't make a sound, nor did he stop doing what he'd been doing. He merely stretched out one long arm, giving her a generous view of muscles shifting and straining under lightly tanned skin and snagged the phone.

He dropped it on her stomach and continued on his quest to apparently discover every bit of exposed flesh he could. Sliding down just a bit further he nipped under her breast and over to the side where her injured ribs were to place small, tender kisses across the still bruised area.

She'd never seen this side of him before. He was more free, almost playful, and it made her heart swell to know she was the reason.

"You'd better answer that since you made me get it for you." he murmured into her, his tongue coming out to trace her side making her breath catch just as she swiped her thumb across the screen.

"Detective," she said, voice much higher and more breathless than she would have liked.

_"Ms. Smoak, am I getting you from something? Usually it doesn't take me hitting redial in order for you to pick up."_

She felt her face flush even though he couldn't see her, and when she made the mistake of looking down, the view of Oliver comfortably settled between her spread thighs while he trailed his fingertips dangerously close to her underwear made her throw her head back and gasp as she forced herself to stare at the ceiling and nothing else.

_"Ms. Smoak?"_

"Sorry, Detective, I just ran from the shower." she lied, and hoped it was believable, the soft puff of air that crossed her abdomen at Oliver's scoffing chuckle made her look down and shoot him a glare to which he returned a smirk and began to work his way towards her hip.

 _"You feeling better? I came by the mansion yesterday but they said you were resting."_  his normally gruff voice had softened some,

"I am, yes. Much better. Feeling much better...ah," she couldn't help the small noise, high in her throat as Oliver sucked on the thin skin over her hipbone, sending her squirming to the right as tendrils of heat spread out from where he touched.

_"Ms. Smoak?"_

"Ribs are still sore, I just moved funny, that's all." she said too quickly as she finally planted a hand on Oliver's shoulder and pushed while trying to sit up underneath him, but he was too heavy and he looked far too pleased with himself to stop what he was doing.

She gritted her teeth and did her best to ignore him until the call was over. "So do you have any news, Detective?"

Lance sighed heavily and she could almost see him rake a frustrated hand through his hair,  _"Nothing new on where Samuels is. But the Feds are good...they've pieced together almost everything that was in the bag. A lot was lost, but what they were able to salvage paints a weird picture. I'll send you the report with the photos. But..."_

She swallowed hard and stilled as he trailed off. Oliver must have sensed the tension in her and the change in her demeanor because the next thing she knew he was drawing together the sides of her shirt and shifting up to lay next to her, looking at her with concern.

"But what, Detective?" she asked nervously,

_"There are pictures of the dead girlfriend, tickets stubs, emails, things like that. But there are also pictures of you. Part of a birthday card you must have sent him. Even what looks like a take out menu he must have snatched from your apartment."_

A cold shiver went through her as she unconsciously pushed up and back until she was resting against the headboard, a hand pressed to her forehead as she tried to process what he was telling her.

"Wh...why would there be pictures of me in there? That doesn't make any sense. I don't…" Oliver's warm hand dropped to her thigh and rubbed it lightly, all of the desire and need between them having vanished with the phone call.

_"Don't try and make sense out of it, sweetheart, you'll only drive yourself crazy. The Feds are talking with his parents now, looking into how exactly he was released but it seems like the psychologist who advocated for his discharge has conveniently taken an extended leave of absence from work."_

"Of course he has," she said dejectedly, "I'll go over the photos and let you know if I notice anything."

 _"I'll be in touch. Take care of yourself."_  he ordered before the line went dead.

Her head fell back with a sigh as she closed her eyes and just breathed. For a glorious twenty minutes she'd forgotten about Nate, and bombs, and stitches, and just knew what it was like to drive Oliver Queen mad with want. Now she felt guilty for taking the past thirty six hours to recover when she should have been doing everything in her power to track Nate down so this could all end.

Oliver tugged her into his side and she curled against him willingly. "What did he want?"

She opened her mouth to reply when her phone chimed with an email alert. With a tilt of her head to the device she tucked herself under his chin, listening to the strong thrum of his heart for a few beats before she answered. "The contents of the backpack have been reconstructed. He just sent me the file with the images of everything they were able to save. He said...he said it's not just pictures of Jenny and memories of Nate's life with her. He also had pictures of me and other things…" a violent shake rocked her and he pulled her in tighter, "I just don't understand."

She felt Oliver bristle under her and his adam's apple bobbed against her forehead as he struggled to respond without getting angry. "There's nothing to understand. He's crazy. He'll show his hand, and when he does we'll get him." he said stiffly,

Felicity nodded, "I know, that's basically what Lance said." and again Oliver tensed. She swatted at his chest, "Don't get irritated because you and Lance agree on something."

He mumbled something under his breath that made her smile as she wrapped an arm across his midsection and hugged him as close as she could. His lips pressed into her hair as his hand rubbed lightly up and down her back. The still open front of her shirt was a very present reminder of what they had just been doing.

The hand that had been rubbing her back in a comforting way had slowed and become lighter, the touch making her skin prickle and little bursts of heat to flare when he reached the bare skin of her leg.

She had just lifted her head to meet his for a kiss when her phone chimed again, a loud knock sounded on the door, and Oliver's phone alerted a text message. Oliver's chest vibrated as he cupped her face and placed a bruising kiss on her lips before he sat back, did up the buttons of her shirt quicker than she could blink, and grabbed his pullover before stalking to the door.

Felicity had barely recovered before he made his way back, a dark cloud now hanging over his head. "Apparently the investors in Dubai are not pleased, and if I want to have a chance of keeping them without hopping on the jet immediately I need to go make some calls."

She gave him a sympathetic look and crawled to the edge of the bed, rising to her knees as he stopped before her. "I understand. I told Lance I'd go through the pictures and see if anything clicks. And there's something weird going on with that psychologist, I'm going to dig into him a little deeper."

He looked like he wanted to say something, maybe about how she should be resting or staying in bed, but he clamped his mouth shut instead.

"I'll take it easy," she placated, hands resting on his chest, "Nothing more strenuous than using my tablet, I promise."

The look he gave her was one of mild disbelief but she just smiled back innocently. "I'll come check on you later," he said

"I'll let you know if I find anything," she replied, letting him know that she wasn't going to be stupid, but she also wasn't going to stay trapped in his room like some sort of medieval princess, even if the Queen mansion did look like a castle.

He let out a sigh and then pulled her in close, mouth slanting over hers until her stomach was flipping and she couldn't think straight. Then without a word he left the room.

"Damn him for being so good at that,"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thank you! Can't tell you how much I love all the comments, and continued support for this story. This is one hell of a chapter so...hang on tight. Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

_Previously in 'Times Like These'..._

_"I'll let you know if I find anything," she replied, letting him know that she wasn't going to be stupid, but she also wasn't going to stay trapped in his room like some sort of medieval princess, even if the Queen mansion did look like a castle._

_He let out a sigh and then pulled her in close, mouth slanting over hers until her stomach was flipping and she couldn't think straight. Then without a word he left the room._

_"Damn him for being so good at that,"_

It took her longer than she would ever admit to calm her thoughts and make some sort of semblance of an attempt at focusing on what she needed to be doing.

She spent nearly twenty minutes on the phone with her mother, assuring her everything was under control. It wasn't until Felicity told her that the FBI was now in charge of the case that her mom calmed down, suddenly placated with that information. She promised to call the next day and then took a long shower to try and settle her nerves.

Standing in the obscenely large closet Felicity eyed Oliver's numerous dress shirts but turned with a sigh and picked up the clothes she'd selected earlier. The ones he'd thrown aside in his pique of anger. She couldn't help the flush that filled her cheeks at the memories of what that short altercation had led to.

Dressed, with her hair in her familiar ponytail, and her glasses in place she felt more centered than she had in days. The monitors on Oliver's desk were all dark, and even though she'd told him she'd only use her tablet she turned everything on and got to work.

As she opened Lance's email and downloaded the file he'd sent she winced noticing he'd used his email account from his job. Once she had the pictures she didn't hesitate to hack into the SCPD internal server and Lance's personal account to scrub any trace of his involvement from the system. With a shake of her head she made a mental note to set him up with a dummy account to use that couldn't be traced to protect both of them.

That small bit of procrastination over she took a deep breath and opened the file containing the pictures. One by one over thirty images appeared on her screen. Each one was tagged with an evidence number and other tracking procedures the Bureau used.

Some were barely more than an inch or two in total, the black charred edges not giving her any idea of what it could have been, others were almost full 3x5 pictures with hardly any damage.

Slowly and methodically she began to go through them one by one. Using image enhancing software she was able to blow each picture up and make sure nothing was missed. The ones that held no evidence whatsoever she deleted, the others she dragged aside for a further look.

As she worked she started separating the pictures into two piles, one of items associated with Jenny and the other of items associated with her. It was chilling, and nerve wracking every time she came across something that she recognized.

In the end she'd discovered her graduation picture from M.I.T that she was certain had been taken from the frame in her hallway, a take out menu to the Thai place she ordered from more often than she should, a picture from her high school yearbook, and a photo of her and Nate that had obviously been trimmed to cut out anyone else.

Heart beating faster she blew the last one up and zoomed in as a shiver ran through her. She was almost certain the picture had been taken at the very family gathering where Nate had begun his suspicious behavior. Their grandmother had demanded all the grandkids pose for the camera and it looked like Nate had made sure he was standing right behind Felicity. In fact, as she zoomed even closer and tapped a few keys the pixels cleared some and she could tell he wasn't looking at the camera at all, he was looking at her.

With a gasp she frantically closed the picture and jumped to her feet, pacing the long length in front of the windows, the sunlight streaming in not doing enough to chase away the cold that she could feel in her bones.

She wiped a shaky hand over her face and took a deep breath before she forced herself to go back to the desk.

Half an hour later she'd gone through the pictures and other items that were connected to Jenny. There was half a ticket stub to a concert venue near their hometown, emails that had been printed, a take out menu to a local diner, and over a dozen pictures that looked like they'd been taken with a cell phone camera.

It felt strange and a bit sickening to be sifting through a dead woman's life the way she was, but the longer she worked the more a nagging voice in the back of her head told her she was missing something.

Frustrated, and tired, and with the beginning of a headache creeping in she let her head fall into her hands as she stared at the screen, looking at the burnt remains for what felt like the thousandth time, hoping they would suddenly show her what she was missing.

There was a dull knock on the door and her heart jumped for a split second at the thought that Oliver had returned but then she realized he would have just come in. The door pushed open to reveal Digg carrying a tray, the sight of which made her smile.

He quirked his eyebrows at her look and purposely sat the tray on the coffee table and not on the desk, knowing she didn't like food near her equipment.

"Come to rescue the princess from her tower?" she quipped,

He snorted a laugh as he approached, "That depends, am I the knight or the dragon?"

"Definitely the knight," she replied with a smirk,

His eyes lit up, "So that would make Oliver…"

"Oh he's the dragon, no doubt." smiling at the image of a cartoon dragon Oliver in her head, "Can't you just see the smoke coming out of his nose and the way his eyes would roll up in his…" she trailed off at Digg's bemused look, clearing her throat as a new image of Oliver's dragon tattoo came to mind as well as how she'd had her hands all over it earlier.

She spun her chair his direction and clasped her hands in front of her, "I'm guessing you didn't actually come here to spring me from my prison."

"I ran into the housekeeper bringing the tray up and thought you could use some company, Oliver's still on the phone."

Felicity nodded once, "Yeah, I figured."

"So, have you found anything?" he asked, coming to stand next to the desk, hands in his pockets as he waited patiently for her to respond.

With a sigh she turned back and brought all the images up on the screen. Digg let out a long whistle as he took in the pictures. "Not much to go on."

"Not really, makes me wonder what was destroyed." she said, tapping a few more keys as the images arranged themselves into the two groups she'd broken them into from earlier. "I get why he has these things from his girlfriend, I mean, it's creepy but I get it." she pointed that grouping out to Digg and then moved over to the other one, "But I don't know why he's got stuff about me in there as well."

Digg sucked in a long breath as he leaned forward for a better look, "He's obsessed with you, does there need to be another reason?"

She shook her head and moved back to the images associated with Jenny, "I'm missing something…"

He dropped a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeezed once, "How about you eat and come back to it. The break might help."

Felicity took off her glasses and rubbed her tired eyes, "I've been on a break for the past thirty-six hours," she protested,

"And that data isn't going anywhere, especially in the next twenty minutes while you get something to eat."

Begrudgingly she followed him to the couches and ate obediently while he filled her in on what she'd missed the past day and a half.

The sandwich she'd only had half of was sat down when he suddenly got serious.

"You didn't tell Oliver about the protective custody, did you?"

Her eyes locked on his as her stomach dropped, "How did…" she began and then stopped. "Monroe," she finished for herself.

Digg nodded, "He said it took a lot of talking on his part for them to let you leave."

"You can't tell Oliver...I can't even begin to imagine…"

Digg held up a hand to stop her, "I know, trust me. Monroe is pretty perceptive. He told me he didn't think Mr. Queen would have approved of such an arrangement."

Felicity let out a soft sound of agreement, "That's putting it mildly."

"I don't see any reason he needs to know. Not right now." there was an unspoken understanding between them as to how much this was affecting Oliver.

She let herself sink back into the cushions with a sigh, "I just wish I could figure out Nate's next move. It doesn't make sense that he's been quiet for this long. And the things in the backpack...why did he want me to see them? There wasn't a bomb in that one. Those items were chosen purposefully, but why?"

Felicity shut her eyes, pressing her fingers to her temples as she mentally brought up the images again in her mind. Long forgotten memories were nagging at her, begging her to remember something important.

With a gasp she sat up, catching Digg's attention as her mother's voice floated in her head.

_'They didn't even make it to the diner.'_

It was from the phone call she'd received at school to tell her about the accident.

"What did that enormous brain of yours just figure out?" Digg asked as she made her way back to the computers.

"Not sure...just something I'd forgotten but...it could mean something." she said distractedly as she pulled up everything associated with Jenny.

The diner menu and the ticket stub stood out and she focused on those first. It took a quick web search to discover the diner had closed a few years back. The concert gave her more trouble, but finally she'd figured out it had been only the day before the accident.

With a growing pit of ice in her gut she looked at the photos again. At first glance they hadn't seen anything more than candid shots, but now as she looked with new eyes she saw the pattern. Jenny's hairstyle was the same. In every picture she was wearing winter clothes, and in several she had on the same outfit. The photos had all been taken in the span of only a few days. The days leading up to her death.

Before she announced her theory to Digg she checked the bits of email they'd found. Most were missing anything that held a date, but the few that did, coupled with the scant lines of text supported her idea.

Slowly she turned and raised her eyes to meet Digg's. "Everything in the bag that had to do with Jenny...it wasn't just memories of their relationship...these were things that only surrounded the few days before she died."

Digg's eyebrows raised and he looked from her to the screen asking her to explain.

"The concert was the day before she died. These emails were all sent a day or two before. They talk about the concert, and this one here has the partial date which matches with the time frame." she said, pointing out the evidence. "Also, Nate and Jenny were together for years, they met in high school but these pictures don't span their entire relationship. Look at her hair and her clothes…"

"It's the same," Digg stated,

"Right. I'd guess these were on either his phone or hers and had all been taken just before she died. And then the diner menu...that's where they were going when he wrecked. They never made it."

Digg sighed heavily and crossed his arms over his chest, "I can almost understand that. But then why pick random items out of your place to put in there as well?"

She pulled the two groups up and arranged them side by side. While there were definitely more photos of Jenny, a dawning sort of horror fell over her as she saw the connection. Digg must have seen it as well. His quiet 'Oh', of surprise was the only sound as they both stared at the screen.

Nate had done his best to copy what he had from Jenny with things from Felicity's apartment. Pictures, the menu, the card...they were the closest way he could parallel the two women and draw a connection between them.

She'd known he was trying to replace Jenny with her in his mind. The hair dye, the calling her by the wrong name...that wasn't a new revelation. But seeing those items in front of her, as such a stark representation of how fractured his psyche was scared her in a way she hadn't been scared before.

Digg stepped closer to her and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, "You okay?"

Felicity took a shuddering breath and closed the screen before she answered, "Yeah, I…"

"Want me to go g…"

"No!" she cut him off quickly, knowing he was offering to get Oliver for her, "He's busy. I'll be fine. It's not really anything we didn't already know just…"

"Just that much more crazy," Digg finished and she nodded, unable to speak just then over the lump in her throat.

"You looked into the doctor that let him out? Something isn't adding up there."

"No, not yet. But it's definitely on my list. Nate must have found something out about him. I'll look into his life, see what I can find. I only did a basic search earlier to see if there was a personal connection to Nate or his parents but there must be something else."

"Need me to hang around?" he offered and she smiled at the gesture,

"No, I'll be okay. If I find anything I'll let you know."

"Don't work too hard." he ordered and she waved him off with half an eyeroll,

As soon as Digg was gone she sent Lance a text, informing him of what she'd figured out and to tell him not to send her information through the city's servers again. He replied with a thanks and an acknowledgement of her warning.

That done she pulled up the initial search she'd done on Dr. Brian Howard, psychologist. She had his social security number, education history, addresses for the past two decades, and a copy of his driver's license but nothing that actually told her who he was.

Two hours later she found herself padding down the main staircase of the Queen mansion with Monroe following in her wake. Barefoot, tablet clutched to her middle as she tried to will her stomach to settle over the horrific things she'd discovered, she worried her lip as she made her way down the steps. She knew exactly what Nate had used against the doctor and why he was all too willing to help him get discharged.

She hadn't been able to handle compiling a file with the images she'd pulled from Howard's personal computer. But she had sent Lance a text suggesting it would be in the Bureau's best interest to get a warrant for his house.

The mansion was mostly quiet as she made her way through the foyer. She'd passed by the large, formal study on the main level of the house only once before, but she remembered where it was and assumed that's where she would find Oliver.

Already beginning to speak as she pushed her way in she didn't expect to see his mother perched on the edge of a leather couch while Oliver stood stiffly behind the desk.

"Oliver, I did some digging into the psy…." two heads swiveled her way, Oliver's giving a sharp shake Moira couldn't see and Felicity swallowed the rest of her words. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." she said nervously, shoving her glasses up her nose and looking at her tablet quickly to make sure any screens to do with Dr. Howard had been closed.

"Felicity! Oliver said you've been resting. How are you feeling?" Moira asked immediately,

"Oh, fine, better. Much better actually." she replied, eyes flitting quickly to Oliver, it only taking a glance to see he looked even more stressed and worn than he had seemed earlier.

"I'm glad to hear it." Moira said with a smile, "Now, was there something you needed Oliver for?"

"No," Felicity said quickly, "I mean yes, or I wouldn't have come in here looking for him obviously, but it's nothing that can't wait." she knew Oliver would know she'd come to see him about something to do with Nate and that they didn't need his mother asking questions as to how Felicity knew how to hack servers on the other side of the country.

"Then in that case please, join us. I have a feeling you should be here for this anyways." Moira gestured to the wing chair across from her and Felicity felt like she had no choice but to sit.

A flush of shame came over her as she realized her break the past day and a half hadn't just been from searching for Nate, but also from her actual job as Oliver's EA, and at a time when he needed her the most.

"I'm sorry, of course. I'm sure there's paperwork and phone calls, and meetings and...I'm sorry I should have been here." she stammered, unable to look at either of them.

She didn't hear him move, but suddenly his warm fingers were wrapped around her wrist and she was being guided to the chair. "Felicity, it's okay." he said sincerely as she sat, his hand slipping down a few inches to squeeze hers before he pulled away and made his way back to the desk.

Moira looked like she was going to apologize or comment on Felicity's reaction but instead she folded her hands over her knees and got back to business, something that Felicity was grateful for.

"The Board of Trustees called earlier and asked that Oliver attend an event this weekend, tomorrow actually. It's being held out in the foothills about an hour from the city, a winery one of our investors owns." Moira explained, ignoring the ticking muscle in her son's jaw.

Felicity nodded, "I remember, in fact I sent back the R.S.V.P a few weeks ago that said he wouldn't be attending." Oliver hated those events, especially ones that took him out of Starling.

Moira tilted her head towards Oliver, "I understand, but they're hardly going to say he can't come."

"Mom, I explained to you I can do more good for the company by staying here. The police have already said the building is ready to be opened back up tomorrow, it will look better if I'm there when the doors are unlocked." he protested.

Moira's hands were up in a placating fashion, "Darling, I know, but you can't be in two places at once and you arriving at the office to greet the employees can wait until the start of the work week."

Felicity turned on her tablet and tapped a few screens before she held it so Oliver could see. "I'm sure you've seen this but...this is the three day trend for QC stocks." she winced as she looked at the graph and the steadily declining line. "We're starting to plateau, which I guess is better than the current nosedive but...anything that helps the investors feel more secure seems like a good thing to me."

Moira smiled at her proudly while the furrow between Oliver's eyes only deepened. He shot her a look of betrayal and she gave him a small shrug. She knew the real reason why he didn't want to leave the city, but she wasn't going to let him sink his company over something she had brought to their doorstep.

"Felicity," he began tightly, that one word, as always, conveying more than her name. "I'm not sure that being gone right now is the safest idea."

She swallowed heavily and closed the NYSE app before she looked up at him, "There hasn't been any movement, and we'd only be gone for the day...if anything it's safe because we have no connection to that place and he doesn't know we're going to be there."

She felt anxious talking about this in front of Moira, but Oliver didn't seem to care. He circled the broad, heavy piece of furniture and came to stand in front of her, moving to cross his arms as he stared down at her but she raised one eyebrow and silently asked if he planned on having another altercation like the one they'd had that morning.

With a grunt his arms fell to his sides and he leaned back to rest against the front of the desk, letting out a long breath as he did.

A quick look sideways let her know that Moira had found their exchange amusing if the glint in her eye and small upturn of her lip was any indication.

"You can't keep me trapped here forever." she said with a smile, hoping to lighten the mood somewhat, but the dark stormy expression didn't leave his face.

"If we had some idea of where he was…" Oliver started and then cut himself off,

"It'll be okay. We'll leave before noon. You can hobnob with the investors, do a little wine tasting, make everyone see you're fine and QC is in good hands and we'll be back before dark."

Moira clapped her hands and stood, "Perfect! I'll call the Board and let them know. Thank you, dear." she directed at Felicity, and before Oliver could say a word she had swept out the door.

He turned wide eyes Felicity's direction, "Did you...just gang up on me with my mother?" his slightly gobsmacked look had her pressing her lips together to keep from smiling.

"That wasn't my intention but...it seemed to be effective." she admitted,

His head hung low and she bit her lip in worry, not knowing if he was upset about the change in plans or just stressed and worried about everything.

Slowly she rose to her feet, leaving the tablet in the chair as she crossed the few steps to stand in front of him. She slid forward until she was in between his spread legs, blue painted toenails digging into the plush persian carpet underneath her. Her hands found his waist and then his face as she cupped his jaw and directed his gaze up until their eyes met. "Talk to me," she said quietly, but he remained silent.

"Oliver, you need to do this. The company has taken a hit. We've barely recovered since the Glades, and it was only in the projections for the last quarter that we were seeing a profit. If that doesn't come through investors are going to be leaving in droves and we can't afford that. I know you don't want to go to this thing under regular circumstances, which is why I declined the invite without even asking you about it, but things have changed and you've got to work damage control."

He sighed and raised his head further as his hands came to rest lightly at her waist. "I know all of that, I just...the last time…" her heart dropped as she knew what he was trying to say.

"The last time we went out he bombed the plaza," she finished for him as he nodded.

"I need you safe, but I need this over with, and I can't abandon the company…" his eyes fell shut, the small lines at his temples more pronounced than she'd ever seen them.

She pressed up on her toes and let her arms wrap around his neck. "I know," she whispered into his neck as he pulled her in tight to his chest.

"We'll take Digg, and Monroe and everyone else he's hired. I'm leaving nothing to chance." he said gruffly and she hummed her agreement.

For a long moment they were quiet and she let herself sink into his embrace, feeling the warmth of him seep into her as he held her close.

"You found something?" he finally asked and she jerked back with a gasp, as an icy coolness filled her.

"Uh, yeah, I did." she said with a shudder, stepping away to grab her tablet.

"I went through all the images Lance sent of the items in the backpack and figured out the connection there. I'll show you next time you're upstairs." she said as she found the files she wanted and pulled them up.

"After that I started looking into the psychologist who advocated for Nate's release. Dr. Brian Howard seems like a pretty normal guy until you start digging." her lip curled as she remembered what she'd found on his personal network.

"What did you find?" Oliver asked, coming to stand at her side,

"It's not pretty. It's no wonder Nate was able to blackmail him. Howard probably would have done anything to keep this under wraps."

Without waiting any longer she opened the last file and showed it to him, "He has a thing for young girls, and the younger the better." she said in disgust as she flipped through picture after picture of little girls in various amounts of clothing.

Oliver's eyes narrowed and she saw his hands clench as he went rigid next to her, "Child porn?" he bit out, and she could only dip her head as she made the images disappear as quick as she could.

"I found it on all his devices. He'd tried to wipe the history about six months ago on his phone and his tablet but...it was still there. And his home computer…" a shiver of revulsion went through her, "You don't want to know what I found."

"So somehow Nate found out about it and then…"

"He had to have been planning this for longer than he was blackmailing the doctor. I don't know. Maybe he was willing to wait until the opportunity presented itself, regardless of how long it might take." it frightened her to think he was able to be so patient. "And Howard's gone now. Cleaned out his bank account, dumped his car in long term parking at the airport, and hasn't used his passport or credit cards. He could be anywhere."

Oliver scrubbed a hand over his face before he spoke, "We need to find this bastard. Both of them."

"We will," she assured him, turning so she could run a hand down his arm. His hand snaked around her waist and drew her to his side.

"Call Digg, tell him to do whatever it is he needs to do. I've already passed all this on to Lance and the F.B.I. Now I need to put on my EA hat and put together profiles on the investors you need to meet with tomorrow. We'll have time to cram in the car on the way there."

Oliver shot her a look but she just gave him an unsympathetic shrug, "Sorry, even hero CEOs have homework."

The grumble he emitted let her know he wasn't thrilled with the plan but she didn't hear him suggesting a better one. She turned in his arms so she was facing him, head tilted back so she could meet his eyes. "It's going to be okay,"

"Promise me," he said suddenly and with such force it almost took her breath away,

"Oliver…"

"Felicity," he countered in the same tone and she wanted nothing more than to be able to ease his burdens. She brushed her fingers over his temples and into his hair, able to feel the fine tremor of emotion that rolled through him.

She answered him by pushing up on her toes and pressing her lips to his.

The kiss was slow and unhurried, but more intense than any kiss they'd shared before. She could feel it in her toes as his lips moved over hers, like he thought it might be his last chance to kiss her.

When they finally separated tears pricked her eyes and she slid down his chest until she could lay her head over his heart. She rose and fell as he let out a great exhale, his arms banding about her until she almost couldn't breathe from how tight he held her.

Reluctantly she pushed back, and then made herself exit his embrace. "I know you've got work to do, and so do I." she said almost hoarsely, and the look he gave her made her stomach flip, "I'll see you later."

Before she could either break down in tears, or run back and jump him until they did inappropriate things on his father's desk she forced herself to turn and walk out.

Monroe was still stationed outside the door and he fell into step behind her as she headed for the stairs. Once they were far enough away that even Oliver's preternatural hearing couldn't pick them out she turned to the agent. "Thank you for not telling Oliver about what the Bureau wanted to do."

He nodded stiffly, "It did not seem like it was in Mr. Queen's best interest at the time, and Mr. Diggle agreed."

"As do I. We didn't need to add Oliver breaking me out of a federal safehouse to our list of things to deal with this week." she said under her breath and then winced, "Not that he could have. But he probably would have done something that would have brought more bad attention to the company and we've got enough of that already."

Monroe was silent and she gave him a tight, uneasy smile before she continued down the hallway to Oliver's room.

The quiet of the space was welcoming, and she quickly made the decision to grab her laptop and climb in the bed with it and the tablet instead of sitting back at the desk.

It was actually a sort of comfort to be able to let her mind focus on something relatively normal. After spending the afternoon hacking into a computer filled with things she never wanted to see again, losing herself in putting together profiles on the rich men they'd be rubbing elbows with the next day was a task she appreciated.

She focused on the venue first. The private winery was east of Starling City, in a secluded, exclusive area. Soon enough she had satellite images of the property, blueprints of the main building and the outbuildings, and a fairly comprehensive list of pictures that had been taken inside that would give them a better idea about the layout of the place they'd be going to.

After she'd sent that batch of information on to Digg she settled back against the pillows and began working her way through the guest list.

Three hours later she'd fallen asleep as the sun had set and the room had darkened. But she knew everything about everyone who would be there. If Oliver needed to know the name of their wife, the depth of their stock portfolio, which candidate they'd supported during the last election, or what soccer team their kid played on she knew.

She woke up to the laptop being taken away from her and she protested weakly, her eyes still too heavy and tired to bother opening. A familiar squeeze of her hand let her know it was Oliver, and she gave him a sleepy smile.

When she felt her glasses being slipped off her face and a hand raising her neck far enough to work out the band holding her hair back she tried to sit up.

"Shhhh, stay asleep, you're fine." he assured her, lips coasting over her forehead before she felt him step away. She expected to feel the covers being drawn up and let herself sink into the sheets, the pull of sleep too strong, until she was being shifted again and her shirt was worked over her head.

A tiny voice in the back of her head was screaming at her to wake up because Oliver was undressing her, but her tired body and need for more rest was stronger. Even when she felt him undo the clasp on her bra and pull it away she still couldn't get her eyes to open more than a crack. Then her arms were slid into sleeves and she felt the backs of his knuckles brush against her as he did the buttons up the front of one of his dress shirts. Another smile cracked her face at the undeniable conformation that he really did like her wearing his shirts.

Her pants were quickly removed before he tugged the heavy duvet up and laid it over her. She sighed contently and held a hand out his direction, making a noise of protest when she felt him walking away.

"I'll be back soon." he promised, and pressed a kiss to her lips,

It could have been ten minutes or an hour before she felt the bed dip behind her just before long arms reached out to draw her to him. She let out a hum and turned so her head could lay on his chest, one leg thrown over his as she curled into him. He kissed her on the forehead once again, and she fell asleep feeling better than she had in days.

Warm sunlight, a soft hand in her hair, and the steady thud of Oliver's heart under her cheek brought her from sleep. She shifted against him and squinted into the bright light at first seeing nothing but the far reaching expanse of his chest.

Her fingers curled into his abdomen, tracing over the ridges and valleys of muscle as she blinked several times before tilting her head up to see him waiting expectantly.

The tablet was held in his other hand, all but forgotten as it half rested on the bed, but she could see the profiles for the meeting they were going to that day.

"Doing your homework?" she asked, voice a bit gravelly with sleep,

He smiled and leaned over pressing kisses to her hairline and then the bridge of her nose, before landing at the corner of her mouth. "I'm a very good student." he quipped, making her bark out a loud laugh that had him pulling back in mock affront while she scooted up to chase him.

"I don't think anyone has ever accused you of being that. But I guess there's a first time for everything." she said as she draped herself over his chest, arms worming their way around his neck.

"Speaking of first times…" he began, the low tone he spoke with sending an instant heat through her as she knew exactly what he alluded to. One hand slid up her thigh while the other stroked down her back, the tablet now lost in the sheets.

Her head fell forward with a groan, "I'm so sorry. I actually fell asleep on you last night, didn't I?"

"You needed the rest,"

With a shake of her head she sat up quickly and maneuvered so she was straddling his middle, "Nope, no excuses."

His eyes darkened as he looked up at her, hands settled easily at her waist. "I promise, tonight...no interruptions. No knocks on the door, no phone calls. Just you, and me, and maybe a bottle of wine we pick up today if it's any good. If not, I'm fairly certain you've got a cellar we can raid." her breath was a little short and she couldn't help the way her hips rocked into him some as she sat there.

His fingers tightened where they held her and she could see the thoughts that crossed his mind, thoughts that most likely involved forgetting about the meeting altogether and staying in bed all day.

In an instant he'd flipped them and she let out a startled squeal that turned into a laugh. He gave her a broad smile, one that she rarely saw, and cupped her cheek. "I am going to hold you to that."

Felicity bit her lower lip as she stared up at him, "Can't wait," she said in a high, breathy tone.

"Tonight," he repeated and she swallowed once before she replied,

"Tonight,"

He dropped a hot kiss to her lips and then he was lifting off of her as she let out a disappointed groan and rolled to see the time. It was later than she'd hoped and she'd have to hurry to get ready before they had to leave.

An hour later she was rushing to finish. Slipping on her heels she grabbed her bag and slid the laptop in before pulling back the covers on the bed to find her tablet. "We're going to have to have a long discussion about proper care of my equipment." she muttered as she checked the charge on it before tucking it in next to the laptop.

Oliver came up behind her, wearing the grey suit that made his eyes pop as he slid his arms around her waist. "You sure you want to go?" he asked, suddenly very serious.

Her hands dropped over his as she gave them a comforting squeeze, "Yes, my leg hardly hurts and my ribs are good with some over the counter stuff which I already took."

"That's not what I meant," she could feel the tension in him rise as she turned to face him,

The smiles and easy expressions from earlier were gone, once again replaced with stress lines, and furrowed brow. Her hand raised to trace over the ones near his temple but they didn't ease, "Hey, Digg's got it covered. The other car has already left with three agents to set up security on site. We know the layout of the place like we would if this was a mission. I've got you, Digg, and Monroe with me in the car. And most importantly he has no idea we're going to be there."

He sighed heavily and tugged her in even closer. His back felt like iron under her hands and she knew that wasn't going to abate until the day was over and they had returned.

A sharp rap on the door had them stepping apart and she looked around Oliver's arm to see Digg waiting.

"We're ready when you are."

She hitched her bag over her shoulder and felt Oliver's hand settle against her lower back as they walked towards Digg.

Monroe was standing by the car when they stepped out under the portico. "Good morning, sir, ma'am." he said, opening the back door for them,

"Good morning, Monroe," she greeted warmly and entered first, sliding across the cool leather easily.

Soon enough they were heading into mid-day traffic as she pulled out her tablet and began to quiz Oliver on the people he'd have to spend the next several hours with.

The last minute prep gave him something to focus on, and as much as she knew he hated this aspect of his job he'd been around long enough to know how important it was.

It took them longer than expected to get out of the city, but once they were, the roads were open and mostly empty. They'd been in the car an hour when Digg pulled off onto a dirt and gravel road that wound up into the hills where she knew the winery was located.

"It's nice out here." she said absently, staring out the window at the scenery.

"Tuscany is nicer," Oliver said as he flipped through the tablet for the hundredth time, barely looking up.

"Maybe you'll have to take me there sometime," she returned, fully meaning for it to be a joke,

"Maybe I will," he replied, and she turned to look at him incredulously.

The moment was short lived as they rounded a corner and were suddenly thrown forward and to the left as Digg let out a strangled curse.

Oliver's arm came out to press her into the seat, as a stab of fear shot through her.

"Hold on!" Digg yelled before there was huge roar of noise from outside the car, followed by the surreal sight of the front end of the vehicle rising up in front of them before they began tumbling down the hillside.

She screamed as they began to flip, the seat belt cutting into her sharply. Oliver called her name and tried to reach for her but the violent rolling kept him on the other side of the seat from her. She let out a cry of pain as her head slammed sharply into the window, the front airbags already deploying. Everything was spinning so quickly she couldn't make out what was up and what was down and then her head hit the window again and her vision dimmed to almost nothing.

She could have been unconscious for seconds or minutes or even longer. Through half slit eyes she could tell they were almost upside down, her arms thrown over her head, hair obscuring her vision, as the seat belt held her in place. There were no other sounds and no movement from the men around her. A whine of panic filled her throbbing head as she tried to turn and look towards Oliver, but when she did a burst of pain flared across her skull and she saw nothing but black.

Faint noises drew her from the dark but she couldn't get her eyes to open. She heard what sounded like a struggle. Harsh words, and grunts of pain. Two voices that were familiar, but only one that filled her with dread.

There was a loud, sharp retort that made her ears ring and her head pound even harder, and then deadly silence. With great effort she forced herself to open her eyes. What she saw made her blood run cold.

Nate was leaning in the shattered passenger window with blood splattered across his face. When he saw her looking at him he gave her a damaged, brittle smile.

"Hello, Jenny, it's time for you to come home."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Oh Nate. He's such a scary creep. You'll get some answers in this chapter, but not all of them.**

**Thanks for the awesome and amazing continued support and interest in this story! You're all the best! Enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

_Previously in 'Times Like These'..._

_"Hold on!" Digg yelled before there was huge roar of noise from outside the car, followed by the surreal sight of the front end of the vehicle rising up in front of them before they began tumbling down the hillside._

_She screamed as they began to flip, the seat belt cutting into her sharply. Oliver called her name and tried to reach for her but the violent rolling kept him on the other side of the seat from her. She let out a cry of pain as her head slammed sharply into the window, the front airbags already deploying. Everything was spinning so quickly she couldn't make out what was up and what was down and then her head hit the window again and her vision dimmed to almost nothing._

_She could have been unconscious for seconds or minutes or even longer. Through half slit eyes she could tell they were almost upside down, her arms thrown over her head, hair obscuring her vision, as the seat belt held her in place. There were no other sounds and no movement from the men around her. A whine of panic filled her throbbing head as she tried to turn and look towards Oliver, but when she did a burst of pain flared across her skull and she saw nothing but black._

_Faint noises drew her from the dark but she couldn't get her eyes to open. She heard what sounded like a struggle. Harsh words, and grunts of pain. Two voices that were familiar, but only one that filled her with dread._

_There was a loud, sharp retort that made her ears ring and her head pound even harder, and then deadly silence. With great effort she forced herself to open her eyes. What she saw made her blood run cold._

_Nate was leaning in the shattered passenger window with blood splattered across his face. When he saw her looking at him he gave her a damaged, brittle smile._

_"Hello, Jenny, it's time for you to come home."_

It had been three days. At least that's what she thought, what she had been able to piece together from her foggy memories and half conscious state.

She'd passed out in the car. The shock of seeing Nate there, knowing he'd caused the accident, and that he'd come for her had overwhelmed her system. The last thing she saw was Oliver's prone form slumped in the seat with blood running down his face.

When she'd woken up she thought for half a second she was at the mansion, but then pain washed over her and she remembered Digg's shouts, a bright loud explosion and the car being thrown straight up before they tipped over the side of the road.

Groggily she cracked open one eye to see the interior of a dingy motel room. She didn't dare move as she looked around best she could. Fear made her keep still as her breathing and heart rate rose.

There were two double beds, a rickety table, peeling wallpaper, and a chair that had seen better days. The curtains were thin but dark, and drawn shut over the one window, the only light seeping in from the cracks at the sides. She couldn't tell if it was late in the day or just cloudy and when she finally drew enough courage to turn her head stars exploded behind her eyes making her moan in pain.

As the world spun dizzily she shut her eyes and tried to catalogue her injuries. Her head throbbed brutally, the left side the worst and she had two brief flashes of her head smashing into the window as they'd rolled down the embankment. She was laying mostly on her right, and for that she was grateful, her previously injured ribs were aching again, as was her left hip and ankle, she must have been crushed into the side of the car at some point.

Blinking back open both eyes she narrowed them to slits and tried to look around the room as best she could. A closet was half open, and she could see into the dark bathroom but other than that there was no movement or sound and nothing that seemed odd or out of place.

She seemed to be alone, and she didn't know if that was scarier than having him there or not. A wave of nausea rolled through her and it took her several minutes of laying absolutely still and breathing through her nose to keep herself from getting sick.

There was a strangely familiar, sharp odor that stung as she breathed but she didn't focus on it until she knew her stomach had settled some. Even then it took far too long for her sluggish brain to place the smell. But when it did the bile rose in her throat.

Slowly, she reached up with her trembling right hand and grabbed a lank of her hair, pulling it around so she could see it without moving her head.

Terror choked her and her body went numb when she didn't see blonde, but instead saw the light brown of her childhood.

He'd dyed her hair.

Her vision went white, tiny black spots were all she could see as the blood drained from her face and she just struggled with trying to remember how to breathe.

Nate had caused the accident. The man whose life had broken over a car accident had purposely staged one just to get her. He'd hurt them so he could take her. Her mind reeled, not understanding how he'd known where they would be. And now...she had no idea where she was, no idea if Oliver was hurt or even alive, no idea if anyone was even looking for her, or knew where to start. She remembered the sound of the gun shot though and the blood on Nate's face and panic overtook her.

Her body's flight response kicked in and she found herself trying to scramble backwards, adrenaline overriding any pain or injury she had. She pushed across the scratchy polyester bed cover and tried to fling her legs over the side but she was stopped with a sharp jerk on her left arm.

Felicity whipped her head around to discover that he'd handcuffed her to the headboard.

Hysteria filled her as she cried out in protest, pulling and tugging on her restraint to no avail as tears poured down her face. An inhuman scream of rage and fear tore from her throat, the bed thunking hard into the wall as she pulled with as much force as she could, ignoring the damage she was doing to herself in the process.

She was so consumed by her frantic need to escape she didn't hear the door open behind her. When a hard hand clamped on her shoulder there was no time to react before she felt a sharp prick in her neck and Nate's profile out the corner of her eye as she was rendered unconscious once again.

She spent what she assumed were the next two days in an almost continually drugged state.

She had vague, hazy memories. Images of him standing over her, or watching her sleep. He'd float into her field of vision, blurred at the edges and faceless, looking too tall and stretched thin like a shadow about to disappear into the ceiling as he loomed above her. Sometimes his face would morph and she'd see Barton Mathis, or the Count instead and she'd scream for Oliver until her throat burned and he was forced to leave her alone to keep her quiet.

He let her come out of the drug a couple times a day, enough to eat or use the bathroom. The first time he'd unlocked her cuffed wrist and grabbed her by the elbow she'd almost wrenched her arm out of it's socket trying to get away from him but her body was hurt and impaired, and slow to respond.

She was terrified when he'd guided her limping form to the bathroom hating that she had no choice but to use his support in order to stay standing. When she walked in she thought he might stand there but he let her shut the door for privacy. Barely able to stay upright without leaning on the sink she did have enough presence of mind to search the small space for a weapon, but it was completely empty. He gave her three minutes exactly and then opened the door.

Once a day a change of clothes would lay on the side of the bathtub. Always the same, grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. It was what she'd been wearing when she'd woken up and the first time she considered how she'd come to be that way she'd ended up on her knees in front of the toilet, gagging.

She'd changed two times, which was one of her clues to how long she'd been there. There was a chance he wasn't giving her food at regular intervals, or adjusting the time in between when he let her change, but she didn't think that was the case.

Her first set of new clothes is when she got a good look at her injuries. Her ribs were still sore, but they didn't seem worse than they had been after the bombing. It was the massive bruise on her hip and her tender ankle that gave her the most trouble. But she knew if she ever had the chance to escape she'd be able to run if she had to. Her wrist had been bandaged from where she'd torn it trying to get out of the handcuffs. She had to swallow past the heavy lump in her throat as she thought about him touching her. Her skin crawled, and she bit her lip until it bled to keep the scream that bubbled up in her chest from escaping.

She'd caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror only once and then avoided looking after that. The brown haired woman that stared back at her looked much too young, too pale, and too frightened to be the person she knew. Wide blue eyes stood out starkly on her wan face. Tiny cuts and scratches, and a bruise near her hairline left over from the accident. Her glasses were missing, and she couldn't remember if they'd been thrown off in the crash. No doubt they had been left in the back of the car along with her phone and bag. She couldn't imagine he'd have taken along anything she could have been tracked through.

When he brought her food she was allowed to sit on one of the chairs as he sat across from her, watching her intently. She never had an appetite and she didn't know if it was fear or whatever was in her system but she forced herself to eat anyways even though she didn't taste a thing. And much like her acknowledgement of her injuries, if there was a chance she could get away she couldn't let weakness from hunger slow her down.

Methodically she'd chew small bites, eyes looking anywhere but at him. She was still fuzzy, her brain too muddled and slow to process anything of importance. It took almost all of her limited concentration to stay somewhat upright and get the food to her mouth. Several times she'd found herself listing to the side, when suddenly he'd have raised a bite of whatever he'd brought for her to her mouth for her to eat.

By the third meal she knew the drug would wear off enough that her foggy mind would clear some at the end of the meal. The use of her arms was more controlled and she thought if she could ever get out the door she'd have a chance.

She'd eaten slowly that time, slower than usual and he'd been more and more insistent with her the longer she took. She let her eyes go slack, staring unseeing at a spot across the floor as he leaned in. Her fingers wrapped around the handle of the fork she held and she struck.

The metal tines glanced off his wrist, her aim slower and weaker than she'd anticipated, and it took nothing for him to swipe a hand and knock it from her loose grip.

She cried as he pulled her back to the bed and the needle slid home once again.

After that she wasn't allowed to use utensils.

When she was awake and somewhat aware she tried not to think about Oliver. She had to believe he was alive. That he and Digg had survived the crash and were looking for her. She'd tried to figure out where she was but she never saw outside the room and there were no sounds of traffic or from neighboring rooms. There wasn't even a phone, although she saw the jack for it so she assumed he'd removed it.

She never saw him leave or return. The food was in nondescript bags and containers, and it was always ready and waiting when she'd wake up. His clothes were changed, although she never saw any indication that he had belongings in the small space, and the other bed never looked slept in.

There was the tiniest bit of hope there. He was leaving, he was interacting with other people in order to buy the food. At some point she had to believe he'd be noticed. But as long as he kept her drugged and weak she'd never get away from him on her own without any help.

The most disturbing part of being held by Nate was that he never talked to her. After he'd spoken at the crash site she hadn't heard him speak again. Even when she tried to talk to him he remained silent.

Her speech had been slurred and slow, the fine motor control she needed to move her mouth and tongue and lips in the correct sequence to form words wasn't always possible. Every time she tried he'd just stare impassively as she struggled.

Late on what she thought was the third day there was a change in him. He was anxious and jittery where before he had always been so strangely calm it unnerved her. There was enough food for two, and after she slowly made her way from the bathroom, feet stumbling as he guided her to the chair she realized he was planning on eating with her.

Even still coming out of her haze she could sense something had shifted. Instead of a carton or a bag there were burgers and fries on plates, bottles of ketchup and mustard, and two cups with straws and lids. He'd arranged the chairs so they faced each other across the table, and even moved over a small lamp from between the beds to give the space more light.

Her heart was pounding so loudly she almost didn't hear him when he finally spoke.

"It's your favorite." he said as he placed her in her seat, the shock of hearing his voice making her jump.

He sat down and gave her a hesitant smile, "I know you prefer the skinny fries, but they only had this kind. I told the guy they should offer a selection but...you know how they are there."

She stared at him through half lidded eyes, trying to understand what was happening. He was talking to her like he hadn't been holding her captive. Like he hadn't blown up her work, and her boss, and wired her apartment building to do the same. Like he hadn't caused their car accident or been drugging her repeatedly.

Her head hung low, the effort to keep it up too much for her just then. Lank hair the wrong color hung in her her eyes and she used it to hide behind, not bothering to try and move it out of the way. She'd been functioning under a steady level of fear since she'd first woken up days before, but Nate's sudden change sent the small hairs at the back of her neck rising because the unknown of what he could do next scared the hell out of her.

Once again she choked down food that tasted like sawdust. She barely had the strength to hold the burger between bites, having to set it down and let her hands lay limp in her lap.

The entire time he ate and talked like everything that was happening was perfectly normal. He rambled on about the band 'they' were going to see, how he was looking forward to a party that weekend and how classes would be out soon for winter break.

When she fully realized what he was doing she gagged, both hands clamped over her mouth as she fought not to get sick.

He was reliving the last few days of his life before the accident.

Voice quiet and shaky, but suddenly feeling more clear headed than she had in days she lifted her chin, "What are you doing, Nate?"

"Eating lunch with my beautiful girlfriend." he said simply, giving her a smile that made her shiver.

"I'm not your girlfriend." she said abruptly,

He just shook his head and gave a wry smile, "You're hilarious, Jen, really, that's what I've always loved about you."

Nate continued eating, dipping fries in ketchup two at a time, and wiping salty fingers on his stained paper napkin looking like reality hadn't invaded whatever world he was currently inhabiting.

Anger washed over her. It was the first strong emotion she'd felt in days besides fear and she welcomed it. She let it fill her veins and build her up, because with every rise of her heartbeat and flush of her skin she felt better and stronger than she had and something inside her clicked. Something told her whatever was happening just then was a turning point and it may be her only chance.

"I am not your girlfriend! I'm not Jenny! I'm Felicity Smoak, your cousin!" her voice was sharp and high, and her pulse pounded furiously in her throat, blood rushing through her ears as she waited to see what his reaction would be.

Trepidation began to creep in as she saw his hand tighten into a fist before his head chin jerked sharply to the left, his eyes shutting tight. "Don't say that,"

His tone had changed. The easy, light one he'd been using was gone and replaced with something hard and disturbed.

She swallowed twice and repeated herself. "I'm not Jenny! I'm Felicity! We grew up together. Summers at Grams house, vacations to that cabin our parents used to share. I'm not Jenny!"

His face began to go red as he clenched his hands so hard he shook. "Don't say that!"

When his head shot up she gasped. His eyes were black and dead. There was no depth, no warmth, just coldness that made her stomach drop.

"Why are you doing this, Nate? What happened to Jenny was an accident, but it was seven years ago. You can't kidnap me. You can't keep drugging me. You have to let me go so you can get the help you need."

He was on his feet, and she threw herself backwards, scared mute.

"Don't say that! I will never go back there!" he screamed, jerking away from the table so hard everything rattled and the chair he'd been sitting in toppled sideways. "I did nothing wrong! It can be fixed! It can be fixed! I just need you to do it right, that's all. Why can't you do it right?" he was pacing now, hands running roughly through his hair as his demeanor became more and more manic.

Shaking, she leaned forward, not knowing how or if she could reach him and reason with him but knowing she had to try, "Nate...I know it's hard...but this doesn't fix anything. I'm not Jenny. I never was. She's gone. You have…"

She never got any farther because she couldn't take her eyes off the gun he had pointed at her face.

It was like a mask had dropped over him. His jaw was set, eyes narrowed, and the twitching, nervous man who had just been talking was gone.

"Dammit, 'Lissy, why couldn't you just for once in your life shut up and do what someone else wanted."

In horror and shock she sat, stock still, unprepared for the sudden shift. "Nate…"

"I can fix it. I can fix it all. I was always good at fixing things. Don't you remember? I'd spend hours in the garage, sometimes you'd even help me, until mom would yell at me for getting dirty. She never understood. Never understood how much it would bother me if I had to go to bed before I got to finish. I'd lay awake and go over every step, every detail. I could always see it so clearly in my mind, every precise movement. It was always the biggest rush the next day when I could finish." a gleam lit his eyes, the first time she'd seen any sort of true emotion in him since all this had started.

"It's just like a puzzle. Each piece has it's place, and no matter how hard you try, if the piece doesn't fit it won't work. You can't force it. I've gone over every step for seven years! You're the puzzle piece I was missing. But now I'm here and so are you and this...this is going to work this time. This time it won't go wrong. I'll get to finish it and it'll all be over."

He practically whispered the final few words and for some reason it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

Tears of fear and anger and frustration pricked her eyes as she stared at the man she thought she knew. She remembered him as a carefree kid, who had been spoiled by his parents and always had the latest games and gadgets she couldn't wait to get her hands on. The person who stood in front of now was a warped version of the cousin she had known, and so far removed now she didn't think he could ever go back.

"There's always another way, Nate, always. You don't have to do this." she pleaded,

"No, there's not!" he roared, gun waving as he shook it towards her, "You were always so damn perfect. Straight A's, polite, favorite grandkid...you have no idea what it was like to be constantly judged! To be lauded in public and torn down when you got home because you ripped the knee out of your pants, or forgot to tell the neighbor thank you quick enough. Do you know what I grew up with?! My parents were on my ass from sun up to sun down trying to make me into some faultless version of you! But they were too damn conceited to show that to anyone else so that's the only time I got any praise is when we were out. I mean, what kind of mind fuck is that to a kid?! Explain that to me!"

All she could do is stare as twenty plus years of history began to make sense. She'd never seen any hint that Nate had been anything but doted on by his parents. Spoiled, yes, absolutely. She remembered being jealous of how proud and vocal her aunt and uncle had been about him, every little accomplishment praised until she'd catch herself rolling her eyes when they couldn't see her and feeling bad about it later.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to grow up like that. It wasn't right. But it doesn't justify what you're doing now. Nate, please! I know people, they can help…"

He darted forward in a flash and grabbed her jaw harshly, shoving the muzzle of the gun up under her chin so hard her teeth clanged together. "No one can help me when this is over, especially not you. What you can do is fix this by doing what you're told, " he said it so low and so dark her breath froze in her chest as tears slipped down her cheeks. He gripped her tight until she let out a yelp of pain and shoved her back in the chair before he stalked to the other side of the room.

Her hand came up to lay over the spot where the gun had been, rubbing it in an effort to reduce the sting, but she knew it was going to leave a mark. Mind whirling, she watched him pace and with a sinking feeling she knew her only chance would be to go along with his plan and hope an opportunity presented itself.

"Okay, Nate, okay. I'll help you." she said as quietly and gently as she could,

He stopped sharply and sent her a disbelieving glance, "Don't try and trick me. You've tried to trick me before. But I've proven to you that I'm always a step ahead, haven't I? Finally, I've bested you. You didn't come in first this time did you, 'Lissy?" his mouth twisted cruelly and the bitterness in his tone made her flinch

"I was just trying to stay safe." she said, hating how meek she sounded, but knew it was better than challenging him just then. "How did you know where we'd be?"

Nate just shot her an incredulous look, "Please, you do know your boss is treated like royalty in that city, right? The news covers him and his family more than they do the president!" he scoffed, "But I was ready. I knew someone would slip up. And they did. Preening the other night about how happy they were Starling's prince had recovered and would be attending an event that weekend at a winery outside of the city."

Felicity's blood ran cold as she remembered the conversation she'd had with Oliver and Moira in the study, and how worried the board of Trustees had been about Oliver's public image. She wasn't surprised that one of them had tipped off the press about the trip; anything to boost the company.

"It didn't take much to figure out where you'd be going, and there was only one road in." he shrugged easily, "Wasn't very hard at all. I saw my chance and I took it. And I beat you, little 'Lissy."

She stared at him in horror at how calmly he was speaking, "You could have killed all of us, even me!"

"It was a risk I was willing to take. Queen had you protected so well there was no other option. I didn't have a choice!"

Her mouth dropped open as she looked at him, "You really don't think you did anything wrong, do you?"

"If you had just come with me that first day, or after I sent the package to the office...but you didn't! You didn't listen! I didn't have a choice!"

Whatever was wrong inside his head had convinced him that anything he was doing was justified and that anyone who tried to stop him or didn't do what he wanted was working against him, to the point they needed to be eliminated. She didn't know how or if she would be able to get through to him.

"Nate...can you just listen to me?" she said as kindly as she could, hands raised in front of her, hoping he would take the action as one of submission. The gun followed her, but he didn't seem any more upset than he already was. "I know you think what you're doing is right...but it's not. You tried to kill me, Nate...more than once. You're scaring me, and you're making people who care about me scared too."

He shook his head, faster and faster as she saw the anger rise in him again. "NO! It's your fault! All of this is your fault! I wouldn't have had to rig the building if you weren't hiding! I wouldn't have had to kill that man if you had just come with me."

The world stopped. Her heart stuttered hard, tripping in her chest as her lungs constricted, not allowing any more air to be pulled in as every fear and every thought she'd buried and ignore for three days rushed up in front of her. She'd heard the shot and seen the blood on his face, but she hadn't been able to actually consider what it could have meant. Not Oliver, not Digg, not even Monroe. The idea that he'd shot one of them was not possible so she'd buried it and ignored it and pretended like it had been a dream.

Her mouth formed the words but it took three tries before she was able to gasp out a raspy "No!"

Head shaking violently back and forth she could now only see a monster before her. "NO!" she cried and threw herself from the chair, hardly able to see through her tear filled eyes. Her head buzzed and her body felt so light she was afraid she'd fall straight to the floor. "You didn't! You couldn't have!"

"Where do you think I got this?" he said, half a smirk on his face as he waggled the gun, and a scream of rage and pain tore from her throat.

"He tried to put up a fight, but it wasn't hard. Legs pinned in under the dash like they were I was probably doing him a favor."

"Oh my god!" hands covered her mouth as she stood before him, shaking so badly her knees actually knocked together. One more time the gun flashed in front of her and she looked at it hard, the realization that it wasn't Digg's settling within her with relief while at the same time she knew it meant that Monroe had lost his life.

She whirled from him and took stumbling desperate steps towards the bathroom. If he said anything she didn't hear. The only sound was the roar of noise in her head and the sound of her own retching as she collapsed in front of the toilet.

He grabbed her by the arm and roughly hauled her to her feet but she couldn't feel her limbs, all she could think about was poor Monroe and how he had died because of her.

Nate half dragged her back into the room and shoved her onto the bed, wrenching her arm up to clasp the cold metal of the handcuff around her wrist. The loud clatter of the gun being dropped on the side table made her start and push back until he grabbed a fistful of her hair to stop her motion.

She whimpered in fear as he leaned in close, "Tomorrow this is going to end. We're going to fix it. You and me. And if you don't do exactly what I say I'll kill everyone you love, and it'll be all your fault."

When the needle slipped into her arm she almost welcomed it.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you for a truly amazing response to the last chapter. I was concerned that a long run without Oliver in it could maybe not go over too well, but I knew it was necessary to the story, and worked doubly hard to ensure that chapter could stand on its own. So thank you for loving it and all your amazing comments, especially all the ones where you call for Nate's painful death.**

**Hope you enjoy, and as always, I love hearing what you think!**

She woke up gradually to a soft hand combing through her hair. Letting out a deep sigh she turned into the touch as a small smile lifted the corners of her lips, "Oliver…" she said sleepily, eyes fluttering open as the hand stilled and then tightened painfully, tugging at her scalp.

Hard reality washed over her and everything rushed back. Nate. Motel. Monroe dead.

Her eyes flew open to see him sitting next to her on the bed, much too close.

A startled scream got stuck in her throat as she tried to scramble to a sitting position but the hand in her hair kept her in place. His closeness was oppressive and uncomfortable and a cool sweat broke across her skin as she struggled against him.

"Stop it, 'Lissy." he said darkly and then she froze when the muzzle of the gun dragged across her cheek.

He waited as she focused on him before he continued, and she had the feeling he could have waited for forever if he had to. "Today...today is going to be different and I'm going to need you to behave. And if you don't...things aren't going to end well for you. Do you understand?"

As she stared up at him, barely breathing and trembling she had to blink repeatedly to clear her vision because all she could see was the image from her drug induced dreams. The one where he appeared as some sort of faceless, disturbed monster. Except her nightmares had become real, and the monster was before her.

Swallowing hard she dropped her chin once in answer, wincing because he didn't loosen the hold he had on her, if anything his fingers tightened even more.

"Good." he replied with a sick smile that made her stomach roll, "We're going out today. We're fixing it. There's not going to be an accident. We're going to make it to that diner and then everything is going to be made right. And when we've done that...I can let it all end. Finally." he leaned in on the last few words and whispered them into her ear making her shiver as a cold wave of terror filled her.

When he sat up he let his grip loosen and she wasted no time in pushing herself backwards against the headboard in an attempt to be as far away from him as possible, her legs curled underneath her, wishing she could wrap her arms around her middle.

He smirked and shook his head like her reaction amused him and she tried to not let the panic show.

"You have thirty minutes in the bathroom. Shower, change your clothes, pull your hair back, and make sure the bruises don't show." he said abruptly, rising to his feet and moving to undo her restraints. "If you take too long or try anything I'll put a bullet between your eyes just like I did with that bodyguard." he paused, hand wrapped around her wrist, his touch making her shiver, and gave a short chuckle, "Huh, I just realized it didn't make near the mess you would have thought it would. Just one neat little hole. His eyes were still open though. It looked...awkward."

Her chest tightened in pain and anguish to hear him talk about killing Monroe so easily and all she could do was stare at him, eyes once again filled with tears as he released her wrist and stepped back.

Nate wandered away from the bed, using the gun to peel back the corner of the curtain and peer out. She didn't move, cradling her arm to her chest as the image of Monroe's broken body stuck in her mind and wouldn't leave.

"Better hurry, clock's already ticking." he said without looking at her,

The next thing she knew she was leaning against the closed bathroom door trying to get her shaky fingers to work the lock. It was absurd really to be so concerned about the flimsy lock on the equally flimsy door knowing it would take nothing to kick it down or even shoot out the handle but right then it was the only barrier she had between herself and Nate and it represented security.

She drew a long, stuttered breath and noticed for the first time there were actual items in the bathroom. Small bottles of shampoo and soap sat behind the sink as well as a plastic brush and a bag of dollar store cosmetics. There was another stack of clothes sitting on the back of the toilet but it wasn't the usual sweats and t-shirt he'd been bringing her.

Knowing her time was limited she twisted the handles on the faucet, watching as the water ran a dull brown at first before it turned clear. Hot water tap spun as far as it would go she quickly stripped off her clothes and stepped in, not surprised to find it barely lukewarm.

The shower was welcomed, even if it did leave her feeling more jumpy and vulnerable than ever, knowing he was right outside and not trusting that he wouldn't try and come in at any second.

On auto pilot she washed her hair and body while her mind wandered to places she wished it wouldn't.

Monroe, and the gun, and the blood on Nate's face. She couldn't help but think of Digg and what he would have felt when he'd found the body. How out of his mind Oliver had to be with worry. The entire time she'd been held she'd never given up hope, but the guilt she felt was attempting to eat away at any tiny scrap of belief she still clung to that she would get out of this.

The despair filled her chest until she couldn't breathe, gasping and choking with spots dancing in front of her eyes she sank into the far corner of the tub and broke. She cried for Monroe, and Jenny, and even for the kid Nate used to be before his mind had been fractured beyond repair.

Images of Oliver and Digg working around the clock, trying desperately to find her began to slowly push aside those other thoughts, especially the ones that were telling her to give up and give in. Being able to  _'see'_ them doing what they did best was the reminder she needed that she had to do her part as well.

On wobbly knees she pushed herself to her feet and shut off the now cold water with a decided flick of her wrist. They were on a mission right then and as their partner and part of the team she had to join them. Just because they didn't know where she was didn't mean she couldn't still do her job.

Feeling stronger than she had since she'd discovered Nate had kidnapped her she could feel the change settle inside. Her head was higher, shoulders back, spine straighter as her brain began to process everything it knew. The fog of the constant sedatives had lifted and as she dried off and dragged the cheap brush through her hair she analyzed what she knew.

Digg's calm, even voice echoed, telling her to pay attention to everything. Once they left that motel room she'd be on more even footing and he couldn't keep her in the dark on everything or risk being discovered. She heard Oliver telling her to stay strong and stay smart and not make any unnecessary risks.

She could do that. She was good at gathering information and making sense of it, and like one of her intro to technology teachers liked to say, 'the brain is the best computer'. She didn't exactly agree with that statement, but right then she appreciated it.

Knowing she didn't have much time left she hurriedly pulled on the clothes Nate had left for her, hating how the jeans hung off her hips. She'd lost weight. Not much, but enough to be noticeable. Two meals a day that she could barely bring herself to eat half of was beginning to show, and as she stood staring down at hip bones that were more prominent than they used to be she wondered if she had it all wrong and if he'd had her longer than she thought.

There was a blue t-shirt and a long sleeve button up to go over with a small pinstripe that looked vaguely familiar. It wasn't until she had the clothes on and was slipping her feet into a pair of cheap ballet flats that she stood up so fast she got dizzy.

She felt like she'd been punched in the gut as she found her reflection in the mirror. There was a reason she thought she'd seen the shirt before. It was almost identical to what Jenny had been wearing when she'd died.

She'd known Nate was trying to recreate that day but she didn't think he'd go this far. With her dyed hair and the matching outfit she knew she'd do a good job passing for his dead girlfriend and the lump in her throat grew larger at everything that distortion of reality could bring.

The loud bang on the door made her jump and let out a startled scream.

"Five minutes!" Nate yelled and she quickly moved to finish.

Hands shaking so badly she had a hard time getting the band around her hair she pulled the still damp weight into a low ponytail that she remembered Jenny had worn that day from the pictures he'd left in the backpack.

Her face showed the impact of her ordeal more than anything. She was paler than usual, dark circles under her eyes only making the pallor of her skin that more noticeable and accentuated the thinness she could see in the hollows of her cheeks and around her jawline. There was a fading bruise along her hairline and fine scratches over her cheek and temple.

The concealer he'd bought wasn't the correct shade but she did her best to blend it in, shuddering when she tilted her chin up and dabbed at the spot where he'd shoved the gun into her.

She put a little color on her cheeks and used the pale pink lip gloss in the bag even though it was a shade she never would have bought herself. When she was finished she looked presentable although anyone looking close would be able to see things weren't right.

As she stared at herself she was glad to see someone looking back that reminded her of the real Felicity. She wished she had her glasses, but she'd have to do without.

Blowing out a long breath she let her eyes shut and tried to center herself. She could do this. She could play along with Nate's sick game and do everything she could to get away from him at the same time. She'd have to be smart though, and not antagonize him. But something would happen, she had to believe that, and she had to be ready when it did.

She unlatched the lock just as she heard him rattle the handle and turned it quickly, not wanting to make him angry. His eyes were bright, pupils wider than they should have been and the gun was still in his hand, tapping impatiently against his thigh.

He cut a look from her shoes all the way up to her hair, and she saw the way his breath caught. For a second his eyes softened and he started towards her, but when she took an instinctive step backwards he stopped short and shook his head sharply and when he looked at her again, that hard, dead look was back.

"You...you look like her." he said, his voice not as unaffected as she thought he wanted it to be.

He motioned for her to leave the bathroom and she skirted past him, nervously twisting her hands together as she stood in the center of the room and waited.

The longer she stood the more and more worried she became. Nate's hand flexed where he held the gun, and he used the other one to run through his hair over and over again as he paced a track from the bed to the chairs.

"I know you, 'Lissy, you don't like being wrong, you're too damn smart. So I need you to understand this. I need you to understand that everything  _will go right_  today. It has to!" he said through gritted teeth without even looking at her, "You're going to drive. That's the different variable I need here. You're going to drive. If I don't drive everything will go right. But if you do anything to draw attention to yourself, or try and get help, or anything that makes anyone look at us twice I will not hesitate to shoot you."

He came to a halt directly in front of her and gripped her upper arm tight, squeezing it and shaking her so hard her teeth clacked together, "You're smart so I think you get me, don't you?"

Tears pricking her eyes she pressed her lips tight together and nodded haltingly.

"Smart girl," his mouth dragged across her hairline and she couldn't stop the small whimper or the way she tried to shrink away from him. He just held her tighter, "Don't do anything stupid,"

In a flash he'd stepped away and grabbed a jacket off the back of one of the chairs and slid it on, keys were dug out of the pocket and he held them out to her. There was only a fine tremor in her fingers as she took it from him, immediately noticing the sticker on the fob for a rental company, unfortunately it was one of the major chains and didn't tell her much.

Still, that small act helped to calm her racing pulse and she knew that even as scared as she was, she hadn't shut down completely and anything she could learn could only serve to help her.

He gave her a disturbed smile and tucked the gun under one side of his jacket, and she knew it was pointed at her through the fabric. "Let's go."

Not knowing what she would find on the other side of the door she fumbled with the handle twice before she managed to get it open and stepped out into bright sunlight that made her blink.

She didn't know what she expected. But when her heart fell she knew there was some small part of her that wanted to walk out to find Oliver and Digg and Lance and half the F.B.I waiting for her. All she saw was a non descript parking lot, full of more dirt than gravel, and a row rooms.

Her head whipped behind to see they were in the end unit, the number '20' spray painted on the door, faded and slightly off center.

"Not a word 'Lissy, I've paid them a lot of money to not ask questions, and they didn't strike me as the sort of people who would care what happens here anyways as long as they got their money."

Her eyes shot to where a fritzing neon sign said 'Office' at the end of the row, but she knew he'd be able to fire the gun at her fleeing back and there was no place to get cover.

He nudged her with the muzzle and directed her towards a light grey four door sedan that was parked a few feet away.

Walking slowly she took in every scrap of information she could. It was a rental, which she already knew, the plates let her know they had at least started in the same state although she couldn't be sure where she was now. The car was a few years old and a popular model which meant it would be hard to track as she knew from experience. She made a mental note of the plate number as she made her way around to the driver's side.

The gun was out of his jacket now, trained on her every move and he waited for her to open the door and slide in, mirroring her movements on the passenger's side.

The interior was completely clean, nothing had been left out to give her a hint as to where she was, or anything she could use against him.

"Start the car. Carefully." he ordered and she did as he said,

She took as much time as she dared putting on her seatbelt and adjusting the mirror, trying to use it to look around but the sign for the motel was blocked from her view and there was nothing else to see other than trees. Wherever they were it was remote, with a seemingly low population. They were definitely outside of Starling, although she didn't think he had taken her that far; the climate and landscape didn't look that different.

"Pull around to the front of the motel and take a right on the road." he moved closer to her and pushed the gun into the side of her ribs making her gasp and try and pull away, "Abdominal wounds are a bitch, remember that."

Slowly she backed out and drove through the empty parking lot. When she came to the road she stopped and looked to the left to check for oncoming traffic but really she was searching for some sort of identifying feature for the motel. The icy fist around her gut only tightened when all she could see was a generic 'Motel' sign and nothing else.

There was nothing she could see that let her know what town she was in or what road she was on. Heart racing she had no choice but to pull out and turn right.

The road was empty, and as she locked her hands on the wheel she wondered for a brief second if she could crash the car before he got a shot off. There was a sharp curve ahead with deep ditches on either side and she tried to calculate how fast she'd need to be going to ensure he'd be injured, but she dismissed it almost as quickly when she knew he'd shoot her before she purposely wrecked, and there was no guarantee she wouldn't kill herself in the crash as well.

"The diner is a few miles down the road, you can't miss it, so I suggest you don't."

Her mouth was dry and when she finally swallowed enough to be able to speak she didn't dare take her eyes off the road ahead of her. "How...how did you get the car?" she knew how risky it was asking him questions, but she hoped his need to prove himself would outweigh him figuring out she was digging for information.

He gave a low chuckle and she felt the way the gun moved as he laughed. "I had a friend rent it for me before he had to leave town suddenly."

A shiver went down her spine as she realized it was Dr. Howard, the psychologist who must have done it for him. One final act of blackmail before he was allowed to disappear. That also must have been where Nate had gotten the sedative and supplies from as well, Howard would have had access to drugs at the facility where he worked.

He was silent for a long moment and she tried to keep her attention on not missing the diner, which was hard with him so close and the gun pushed into her so hard it hurt.

"I hope you don't think anyone is looking for you."

Her chest tightened and her lungs felt like they had seized. It was the complete ease in how he'd said it. He was so sure he was safe. So sure no one was coming after them. She wondered if that's why he'd decided that it was okay for him to take her out.

"I've kept up with the news...there's no mention, especially outside of Starling. It's like...you just disappeared and no one cares. So if you think people in the diner are going to recognize you because your pretty picture has been splattered all over the twenty four hour cable channels, think again."

She knew he was wrong. She didn't know why it hadn't made the news. Her abduction she could almost understand being overlooked by the media, but Nate had tried to kill one of the richest men in the world. Twice. She knew it wasn't possible for the F.B.I to give up their search.

But she couldn't deny that a part of her wondered why, and wondered if maybe she hadn't been forgotten.

She angrily swiped away a tear, hating how he saw and smirked and then mentally chided herself. Oliver hadn't forgotten her. She knew that in her soul. He and Digg were doing everything in their power to find her, she just had to stay alive long enough for that to happen and do whatever she could to help them however she could.

The road curved again and when it straightened out she could see the diner ahead on the right. Pulse once again rising she pulled into the parking lot and found an empty spot a few spaces down from the door. There were a half dozen other cars parked out front and a half dozen more towards the back. Everything in her screamed to get out and run, to yell for help, and plead with someone to call the police, but she knew it would be suicide so she sat and waited.

Her eyes flicked to the front and the large awning over the door to the building. When she read the sign she couldn't help the words that spilled past her lips, "Oh my god, Nate. Oh my god...it's the...it's the same name. How?! How could you have…"

For a second she thought he'd taken her back home. Because some how she was staring at the Ashford Diner, the same exact diner he and Jenny had been on their way to on that horrible day seven years earlier. But then logic kicked in and she remembered that the diner had closed and this looked nothing like their hometown three thousand miles away.

Somehow though he'd found a town with the same name, that had a diner and would work as a good enough substitute to play its part in this dark charade of his. She'd never known there was a town with the same name near Starling. Ashford wasn't even technically where she grew up, it was the next town over, but it was where the movie theatre was and where most of the kids from her school would end up most nights.

She had no idea how far away from Starling she was just then. She'd never noticed Ashford before on any map or mentioned anywhere which meant it was either hours away or so small it didn't register. It was more than likely a combination of the two she surmised.

If what Nate said about the news was true, and he'd brought her to this place, coupled with how long she'd been held...a sinking feeling in her stomach made her want to curl up in a ball and sob. No one had made the connection, no one had figured out where she was and it had been days. Not Oliver, not the F.B.I, not the SCPD.

She physically shook her head to rid herself of her negative thoughts, wincing as a throb of pain shot through her skull. Whatever he'd been dosing her with had left her with a residual headache that didn't want to go away. She couldn't afford to think like that. The only way she had a chance of surviving was to keep her head and not give up.

Cautiously she turned the car off and looked over at him. He gave her a knowing look, one that said 'You've lost," as he pulled his hand back and tucked the gun back inside his jacket. Then she watched, half fascinated, half frightened as he shut his eyes tight and then opened them again looking like an entirely different person.

"Ready to go, Jen?" he said, light and normal like nothing was wrong but she knew. She knew that if she tried to make a run for it he wouldn't hesitate to kill her.

Not trusting her voice she nodded and reached for the door handle. "Hey!" he said loudly and she froze, "Sit right there and I'll come open it for you. I am a gentleman after all."

She didn't know if that was really how Nate had acted with Jen or if he was just trying to keep control over her movements, but either way she let her hand fall back to her lap as she waited.

He held his free hand out to her and she had no choice but to take it, barely letting her fingers touch his as she climbed from the car. A twinge of pain came from her ribs but she ignored it and focused on the man in front of her who was smiling broadly.

"You love this place, babe! Remember, the last time we were here you didn't think I could drink that entire milkshake in under two minutes, but I did." he leaned over and brushed a kiss over her cheek before she could react, the place where his lips had touched her feeling like a brand. She wanted nothing more than to reach up and scrub her face raw to rid herself of the contact but she couldn't.

When his hand landed on her elbow she did react. She skittered to the side two steps like a spooked horse, hating that he'd touched her there. That was the spot where she was used to feeling Oliver's warm, supportive hand as they walked the halls of QC or even sometimes in the lair. It was always gentle, and comforting, and a way for him to connect to her. Nate touching her in the same place made her want to be ill.

For a second his mask fell and she saw the Nate from the motel room and the car, the one that wouldn't hesitate to kill her, and she knew that man was always right there just below the surface.

"Sorry, I guess I tripped," she said in a small voice, and tried not to shudder as he wrapped an arm behind her, making sure she was a little bit ahead of him as they walked.

"Let's go, I'm starving and I'm sure you are too." he replied, propelling her forward.

Walking into that diner and seeing other people for the first time in almost a week made her knees weak and all the air to get stuck in her lungs. The beginnings of a panic attack were setting in, and just as a server approached them he leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Get it together or that poor woman is going to have to watch you die."

She dropped her head and shut her eyes tight, fingers twined together so tightly her nail beds were going white and she couldn't hear whatever he was saying to the woman. Then they were moving. She was still struggling to get control of her emotions and find a way to make it through the meal without pushing him too far. His hand landed heavy on her shoulder and she slid into a booth, knowing without looking that as he sat across from her the gun was trained on her the entire time.

A menu entered her field of vision, covering the scratched and cracked formica she had been staring at. She picked it up automatically to give her hands something to do but he smacked it back down and gave the server a charming smile. "We know what we want."

Before she could open her mouth he was ordering for her. Then the woman was looking at her with kind eyes, "Anything else, dear?" The nametag crookedly pinned to her pink blouse said 'Debbie', and her too frizzy hair had mostly escaped the clip she'd used to pull it away from her face.

"Um...a cup of coffee?" she said, the need for something warm filling her making her ask, but Nate shot her a look that spoke of nothing but venom and darkness and she scrambled to fix her mistake. "I'm sorry, no. No coffee. I'm fine."

Debbie shot her a strange look but just nodded and tapped her pen to her pad before she turned and left.

"Babe, you hate coffee, you know that." he said in that too normal, too light voice that made her stomach flip. "The caffeine keeps you up and makes you all jumpy."

"Sorry...silly mistake."

"I got you what you need, don't worry."

Then he proceeded to just talk, about anything and everything. They were topics she suspected he would have talked to Jenny about. He mentioned friends she wasn't familiar with, and dinner with Jenny's parents the following week. Felicity did her best to follow along and nod or make an agreeable noise every now and then, but Nate didn't seem to expect her to participate in the conversation. Whatever was in his head, however this all worked out, her sitting there dressed like a dead woman seemed to be enough for him.

He ate his food enthusiastically when it came while she could only push hers around the plate, knowing if she took more than few bites it would probably come back up. She did drink almost the entire soda he'd ordered for her, wondering if dehydration wasn't part of the problem with her head, or if the dryness in my mouth and throat were just from fear.

He was almost done with his meal and there had been no opportunity, no chance for her to actively do anything that would get her away from him. The threat of getting in that car and driving back to the motel with nothing having changed scared her to her core.

The sign for the restrooms was straight ahead of her and she knew she had to try.

Clearing her throat she laid her napkin on the table and looked up, "Nate, would it be okay if I went to the ladies' room?" her voice was tight, but amazingly calm,

He choked slightly on his food and wiped his mouth hastily before he leveled her with a harsh look, "Hold it."

"I...I can't, I'm sorry." she gave what she hoped was an uncomfortable, pained expression and shifted in her seat.

The veil of cold rage that crossed his face sent a bolt of terror through her. He leaned in close and clamped a hard hand over her wrist making her wince.

"You go straight there and come straight back. Five minutes. Don't talk to anyone. Don't try anything or that little girl sitting over there is going to suddenly lose her mother."

Heart in her throat she looked to her right to see a happy young family enjoying their meal, a woman about her own age smiling down at a young girl around three. He'd only ever threatened her before, but this was the same man that had killed Monroe in cold blood, and she knew he'd do it again.

"I understand. I won't try anything." she promised,

Nate nodded once and tilted his head back quickly telling her to go.

She didn't waste any time. She was out of the booth and halfway down the aisle before she came to herself with a jolt and slowed her pace enough so she could pay attention to everything around her.

The ladie's room was to the right down a short hallway and at the end was a door to the kitchen. As much as she wanted to run in there and out the back she knew she couldn't. Nate would kill that poor woman, she knew it, and she couldn't have someone else's death on her conscience.

She pushed into the bathroom and saw their server, Debbie, standing at the sink, washing her hands. She gave Felicity a distracted smile and was about to move past her when an idea struck.

"Please, do you have a phone I could borrow for just a few minutes?" she tried to not sound desperate but she knew her tone was far from normal.

The woman gave her a once over and stepped closer, "You okay, dear? I hope you don't mind me saying but that guy you're with...something's not right there is it?"

Felicity blanched and Debbie quickly began talking again, "I understand. I've been where you are. Took a broken nose and a black eye for me to finally decide to get out." her hand came out and rubbed up and down Felicity's arm, "You deserve better than him, trust me."

All she could do was nod, as panic filled her, she could not be responsible for him hurting anyone else.

"Here," a small pink flip phone that had seen better days was pressed into her hands, "Make your call. And don't worry, I'm not going to say anything to him. I know how short a fuse those types can have and you look like you'd get blown over in a stiff breeze. Just leave it on the counter when you're done, no one here will touch it. I've got enough time for a smoke before I have to be back so take your time."

She was gone before Felicity could mumble out a thank you and with hands shaking so badly she could barely punch the numbers she called Oliver and waited.

It took three rings before she heard his voice and then she was so overcome she almost couldn't speak.

"What?" he answered sharply, he sounded rough and worn but it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard.

She let out a ragged half sob and heard his sharp intake of breath, "Oliver!"

"Felicity?! Is that you? Are you okay? Where are you? Are you hurt?" the panic and stress was almost palpable and her breath hitched as she tried to draw enough air into her lungs.

"Oh god, Oliver! I...don't have enough time." her eyes blinked rapidly as she wiped continuously at her face, knowing she couldn't go back to the table looking like she'd cried.

"Has he hurt you? Where are you?" he demanded again and she could hear the desperation, it sounded like it was choking him and she had to tramp down everything in her that wanted to curl up in a corner and wait for him to find her.

"I only have a minute. I'm in Ashford. It's a small town, I don't know where. There's a motel off the main road. Room 20." she didn't know how she got it all out without breaking down,

"We're on the way, Digg figured it out and we'll...dammit we're almost two hours away. I'll call the local police-"

"NO! You can't! Oliver...he's unstable, you don't...you don't understand and...he's got...oh god, he's got Monroe's gun. I think he killed him." she was begging, pleading, because the local sheriff tearing into the place was the worst thing that could happen.

Oliver sucked in breath and made a horrible, noise that sounded like it had come from deep in his chest, "Felicity…" the syllables of her name emerged from him like separate entities and in each one was an entire conversation. It was enough to break her heart.

A fist pressed against her sternum hard because it felt like she was about to break as she stood hunched over in the small diner bathroom knowing she only had seconds before she had to hang up.

"Oliver I...I have to go now. I'm out of time. I'm sorry. He can't know I called…"

"FELICITY! NO!" he roared,

"I'm sorry. I lo...I'm so sorry. Just hurry." she whispered and before she couldn't she hit end.

Great gasping sobs left her lungs to the point she had to cover her mouth with both hands in an attempt to muffle the noise as she crouched in front of the sink, before she had to grasp desperately at the slick counter in an effort to keep herself somewhat upright. She counted to ten and then forced herself to stand.

The woman who stared back in the mirror was almost unrecognizable. With short stilted movements she splashed cold water on her face, and tried to erase the worst of the evidence of her breakdown.

Feeling light headed and almost like she was no longer in her own body she looked once more at the phone she was forced to leave on the counter and opened the door.

Nate had moved so that he could see her as she walked back, and he waved one hand in greeting when he saw her. Under the table she saw his left hand tucked into his jacket, the gun pointed across the aisle at the woman he'd threatened to kill.

There were three booths between them when a group of six people suddenly got up to leave, making her draw up short, and blocked her from Nate's view.

One turned to mutter an apology and she dropped her head away to avoid making eye contact. The steak knife that rested against the edge of the table she was standing next caught her attention and before she could think it through she grabbed it by the handle and slid it up the sleeve of her shirt, the cool metal against her skin helping to settle her nerves as the people moved out and Nate could once again see her.

He was already standing when she reached their table. "Good girl," he said, "Ready to go?"

He didn't wait for a response, just guided her to walk before him again, making sure she knew where the gun was as they left the diner. She kept her forearm curled in towards her middle, trying to hold it naturally. Every step they took out of the public eye left her colder and more scared.

But as she got in the car, she felt the sharp prick of the blade she had hidden and for the first time in days she suddenly had hope.

Oliver was coming, and she had a weapon. All she had to do was make it through the next two hours.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I'm going to take a wild guess and say this is the chapter most people have been waiting for. At least I hope so! Thanks for sticking with me through this crazy ass long story, and we're not done yet. All the reviews and feedback have been amazing. I love to hear all the enthusiasm for hating Nate. :)**

**Enjoy! And please let me know what you think! Only way I know if the chapter is any good and you liked it (or not) is if you tell me!**

The drive from the diner to the motel seemed to take forever, while also being over much too quickly. As soon as Nate was seated, the gun was once again pushed into her ribs, but he didn't seem to be paying her much attention.

A hot rush of tears burned her eyes as she remembered words almost slipping out to Oliver that she'd caught just in time. She refused to let the first time she said 'I love you' to be like that. She'd say it to his face, like they both deserved.

She should have never doubted him, doubted them. Of course Digg had figured it out. She didn't know how, but right then she didn't care. All she knew was she only had to hang on a little bit longer and this would all be over.

She risked a quick look in Nate's direction before directing her eyes forward again. His head was tipped back, eyes shut, and all she could see out of her peripheral vision were his shallow breaths as she drove.

There was a peace that seemed to settle over him and it made her nervous. The calm, relaxed man next to her was not who she'd been dealing with.

Nate's silence filled the space and she licked her lips and swallowed heavily as she debated on whether to say anything or not.

Now that he'd fulfilled his goal of 'fixing' that day, she didn't know where that left him. The past seven years his entire purpose had been wrapped around this one moment, as his broken mind had fixated on Jenny's death and his guilt for causing it. She knew he'd never be able to go back, he'd done too much damage and she was afraid he'd gone too far for too long.

A dark, horrible thought struck her and she almost drove off the road. Nate jumped as she overcorrected and brought the car back to center. She shook, not wanting to consider how close he'd come to pulling the trigger.

"Sorry," she more mouthed than spoke, tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth and she could feel his eyes on her now.

The thought that had affected her so badly played over and over. Nate's goal had been met. He had no chance for any sort of life now. The chances of him just letting her go were non-existent. She was a loose end, but more than that, she had been a symbol and now he needed to put her -to put Jenny- to rest for good.

As she pulled back in front of the motel, for a second she thought about pushing the accelerator all the way to the floor and driving through the building. The only thing that stopped her was the image of Oliver having to find her like that, especially if Nate got a shot off first. She couldn't do that to him. She'd stall, she'd find a way to keep Nate from doing something horrible until Oliver and Digg got there. She didn't have another choice.

Instead of driving the car through cinder block she slowly came to a stop and turned off the ignition. A wave of fear and need rolled over her, so fast and quick it took her breath with it and left her looking through hazy eyes.

She needed Oliver. Every cell in her body called for him. Her hands gripped the steering wheel tight as her head came to rest on her knuckles. She knew what she had to do. And she'd do it, but it didn't keep her from wanting him to somehow appear and save her. He always came for her. He always would. To be able to feel his solid strength right then...to have him wrapped around her protecting her from the world was something she ached for.

Hearing his voice had been both a blessing and a curse. More than anything she wanted to hear him again. Knowing that right that second Digg was driving as fast as he could helped center her some, because she knew they were doing everything they could to get to her.

The driver's door being jerked open and Nate's rough hand clamping around her upper arm made her gasp as he hauled her from the car.

"Move it 'Lissy, dragging your feet isn't going to change anything." he bit out,

She stumbled next to him as he pushed the door open and directed her into the dark room. The blade of the hidden knife scratched the tender skin of her arm and she kept it bent towards her middle hoping he wouldn't notice.

Felicity backed up as far as she could get from him, her eyes tracking his every movement.

"I did it," He said quiet and somewhat shakily, almost like he didn't believe it himself. "I finally did it." he let out a small laugh and shook his head, "Thank you, 'Lissy, I couldn't have done this without you."

She looked at him in shocked horror, "I didn't  _help_  you, Nate!" she breathed out in disbelief, "You kidnapped me, kept me drugged, and forced me at gunpoint. None of this was me helping you!"

His head jerked up, pinning her with a glare that made her blood run cold, "Doesn't matter, I got to put the final piece in, the final bit of the puzzle that's been hanging over my head all this time. I got to finish it, and you served your purpose."

"Will you think for two seconds about someone other than yourself! Think about your parents! How do you think they feel right now, knowing what you've done?"

As soon as the words were out of her mouth she knew she'd said the wrong thing. He gave a sharp, bitter laugh, "Right, my parents. The only thing my parents are concerned about is their image. Why do you think it was so easy to manipulate my mother into arranging for the closed hearing. Or how she had no problem giving me money. She wanted me out of that facility, that's true, but not because she cared about me. She wanted to be able to tell people I was out because it reflected poorly on her. So if anything this...this is like my last big 'fuck you' to the people that never let me forget what a complete disappointment I was."

She was terrified now, trying to use his parents to get him to see reason had been the wrong tactic, and seemed to be one of the driving forces behind whatever he was planning. With a throat that felt like it was attempting to collapse she held out pleading hands and tried again.

"Fine then, your parents...they were no good okay, I get that. I honestly  _never_  liked your mother, but what about me? What have I done to deserve this? You can let me go. I can walk out of here and...you can give yourself up. I can talk to them about reducing your sentence. I can…"

"You can't do shit, 'Lissy." he barked, "You're part of this now and...you're going to have to see it through. I'm sorry, I guess." the distracted shrug he gave making her stomach drop. "I liked you when we were kids. I did. But I can't keep you separate from Jenny anymore, it's too hard, and she's...she's gone so...I've got to end it. You and me. Gone too. And then all this will be over."

Panic induced static filled her head and for a moment all her senses left her, she couldn't see or hear, all she knew was the terrible theory she'd had earlier seemed to be coming true. Nate had no intention of letting her go or turning himself in. He was going to kill her and then kill himself.

When she came back to the present on legs that were numb she saw him standing by the table preparing a syringe with the drug he'd been using on her.

Every other time she'd been in a life threatening situation she'd been terrified, which any normal, rational person would have been. And she was terrified just then. Her heart was beating so fast she could feel the way her blood raced through her veins, and her breaths were short and tight. But mostly, she was angry.

She took the anger and let it fall over her like a blanket, wrapping it around her, transforming it into armor. Because Felicity Smoak wasn't going out like that. She wasn't going to let him slip that needle into her arm one more time to gently disappear into the darkness. She had too much to lose.

The numbness vanished from her legs and she felt strong as she stalked the few steps that separated them until she was almost toe to toe with him.

"What are you going to do, Nate? You coward! You're going to drug me senseless, put a pillow over my face and pull the trigger so you don't have to actually see it happen!" she practically growled, her mouth twisting viciously as she looked at him with contempt.

The thought of Oliver and Digg showing up too late, but soon enough to find her body still warm pushed her forward even more, the red haze that clouded her vision made her forget about the gun and the syringe he held.

The heel of the hand holding the gun shoved her back forcefully, "You don't understand!" he raged, "It was MY FAULT! And this is the only way to make it right! I killed her! My stupid attitude and reckless behavior killed the only good thing I had in my life. She didn't care if I was perfect. She didn't care if I fucked up. And I would have gladly done my time, because I deserved it...but my parents...my MOTHER...she couldn't let that happen. So now...there's no way out. This was all set into motion so long ago...I couldn't stop it if I wanted to!" tiny specks of spittle flew from his lips as he yelled, but she wasn't deterred.

Felicity set her feet and narrowed her eyes, "This is not the only way! You can stop it! You're the one in control right now. Do you think Jenny would want this? Would she want you to kill someone else and yourself because of her? I never met her but I know she wouldn't want this."

He gave her a scoffing, half disgusted laugh, "Oh, I know you never met her. You couldn't even be bothered to come to the funeral. Thanks so much for that, 'cuz. Glad to know you cared."

A hard fist clamped over her heart and twisted, she'd never known he'd been so resentful over her not going to the funeral.

She opened her mouth to protest but he waved her off, "No, I don't want to hear excuses because it doesn't matter." he spread his hands wide, "Nothing matters anymore. It's...freeing really."

He wasn't going to let her out of there, and there was still over an hour before Oliver arrived. Her plan to keep him stalled until then was unravelling before her eyes.

Making a decision, she hoped what she was doing ended up being the right choice. She'd have to rely on the element of surprise, every bit of training Digg had given her, and her assumption that Nate wasn't a good shot.

"Fine Nate, if that's how you want it then you're just going to have to stop me, because I refuse to let you just put me down." and before he could respond she spun and made a mad dash for the door.

The first shot went wide, burying itself in the concrete to the left of her head. Sharp bits of mortar and dust flew towards her and she instinctively raised her arm to block her face. The second shot was closer, leaving a trail of fire across her upper arm but she paid it no attention because her hand was on the door knob.

With a desperate pull she managed to wrench the door open a few inches before she felt him at her back.

"NO!"

His hand slammed into the wood above her head and shut the door. His body pressed into hers tight, leaving her no room to move and then she felt the familiar prick of the needle in her shoulder.

Terror overtook her and she knew this was her last chance, if he injected her it would all be over. A primal need for survival reared up inside and she twisted hard, throwing her left elbow up and backwards, feeling it connect with his face.

Her shoulder came in contact with the door as she turned, knocking the syringe to the floor, but she couldn't risk looking down to see how much was left.

With his now free hand he slapped her hard, leaving her head ringing. He crooked his arm around her neck and held her in a choke hold as he dragged her towards the bed.

A high, animalistic scream came from her throat as her legs flailed. One foot caught on the edge of the bed and she shoved backwards in an attempt to throw him off balance. But Nate just tightened his grip making her fingers scrabble at his forearm as white spots began to dance in front of her eyes.

Air was something she needed desperately, and when he released her so that he could shove her face down on the bed, all she could do at first was take in great gulping gasps, helpless to do anything while he torqued her arm behind her back and began to affix the handcuff.

A biting pain in her arm made her breath catch and her eyes popped open as she remembered the knife, the buttoned shirt cuff had kept it from falling out. Calling on all the mat work Digg had made her do, she flipped her hips and drew her knees to her chest before she struck out, catching Nate just off center in his chest.

He was pushed back into the other bed, giving her just enough time to reach over and slide the knife from her sleeve. For a second the blade caught on the metal of the cuff and another wave of panic washed over her.

Then Nate was next to the bed again and he had raised the gun.

She made a wide swipe, catching him across the top of his chest first before she felt the knife sink through the resistance of his shirt and into the arm that held the gun.

He howled in pain, still coming towards her as the gun fell to the mattress next to her hip.

His hands went for the knife as she rolled sideways some trying to use her body to keep him away from the gun. His fingers clamped over hers, but her grip was slick and he was stronger.

For a second all she could hear was heavy breaths and the small frantic noises she made as she fought to keep hold of the handle. And then he had it in his hand.

He took a step back and loomed over her, once again looking like the monster from her dreams.

Chest heaving, hair in her face blocking half her view there was no time to think when he raised both hands above his head, knife held between them.

His eyes were gone...black and filled with manic rage she'd never seen before. Lips contorted into a frightening snarl, a scream composed of seven years of pain was torn from his throat as he began to bring his hands down, knife aimed directly for her heart.

Time appeared to slow and her mind went blank as she reached under her right hip and pulled out the gun.

She didn't think, she just aimed and fired. The bullet struck home, center mass just like she'd been taught, the force knocking him back enough that when the knife fell from his hands it missed her.

In the small room the gunshot made her ears ring and her entire body jolted at the recoil. Her aim wavered and she didn't know if she could pull the trigger again.

As long as she lived she'd never forget the look of complete surprise that crossed Nate's face. He stumbled into the other bed and slid to the floor, trying to catch himself on the edge but failing as dark blood ran from between his fingers.

He looked down at the wound and then back at her in confusion before he went still.

The gun fell heavy and cold on her abdomen as her vision greyed at the edges. She'd killed him. Nate was dead.

Her face was wet with tears that had been falling since she'd tried to get out the door, but she couldn't get her hand to move to wipe them away. Her body and mind felt like they were two separate things, and the real her floated somewhere in between.

The sight before her was almost too surreal to believe. In death, everything that seemed to have plagued Nate had vanished. All she could see now was the kid she'd grown up with. The one she'd snuck off to steal treats with during the holidays, and played with over the summer. He'd always let her try his new games and never got mad when she beat his score.

And she'd killed him.

She was numb. Unable to take her eyes off of him she barely blinked as she let her mind shut down. She couldn't think about Oliver or Digg or the fact that she'd survived. Right then none of that mattered.

She was unaware of the wound in her arm from where the bullet had hit it as it passed by, unaware of the myriad of cuts along her forearm from the hidden knife, unaware of the split lip that had dripped blood along her chin.

Her entire existence had narrowed down to the dead man who lay only a few feet away, thick dark blood still seeping a trail down his chest to the threadbare carpet beneath him.

A bone deep cold was spreading throughout her body. She felt it begin in her arms and legs and gradually work it's way in. Every now and then a shiver would wrack her, making her teeth clank together, and flares of pain to shoot down her arm. Some part of her knew the pain should register more than it was.

She tried to lift her gaze from Nate but she couldn't. Her eyes were locked on his, as she laid there unable to move she grew progressively heavier and colder.

The sedative that had been injected into her shoulder hadn't been enough to knock her out immediately, but she could feel it pulling at her, making her want to shut her eyes and slip away, but some last reserve she didn't even know she had allowed her to resist.

Time didn't seem to exist. There was nothing outside of that room and Nate's body. Which is why when there was a sudden, muffled noise and a flash of movement as the door to the room was kicked in she didn't even flinch.

Voices shouted her name, but they seemed too far away and she couldn't turn her head.

It was a familiar scent and warm hands on her face as her view of Nate was suddenly blocked that finally made her rear back with a gasp and blink furiously.

The face that hovered only inches from hers was worn and drawn, eyes wide in terror, and it took far more effort than it should of for her to whisper his name.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thank you for the response to the last chapter! This story was always going to be Felicity's story from the start. I always knew she was going to be the one to handle it. I didn't know at the beginning that things with Nate were going to be so bad, but I knew she was going to save herself. It's a bit nerve wracking writing an 'Arrow' story without a lot of Arrow, but I think it's worked well. I know there are questions about what Oliver has been doing while Felicity was missing and I have a separate Oliver's pov for this time in the works. I will be posting it as its own story and I'll definitely put a note in here to let you know when that happens. So some of your questions will be answered in this chapter and the rest of 'TLT', and some you may not get until you read Oliver's pov. At the end you'll have the full picture, I promise. As always, you're amazing. The reviews for the last chapter were some of my favorite, especially all the wonderful support for Felicity. But now we move on, and Oliver's here!**

**Enjoy, and please let me know what you think, chapters after a big one are always scary to put out because they tend to get ignored, but I have a soft spot for this one and these poor dears. Thanks so much!**

_Previously in 'Times Like These'_

_Time didn't seem to exist. There was nothing outside of that room and Nate's body. Which is why when there was a sudden, muffled noise and a flash of movement as the door to the room was kicked in she didn't even flinch._

_Voices shouted her name, but they seemed too far away and she couldn't turn her head._

_It was a familiar scent and warm hands on her face as her view of Nate was suddenly blocked that finally made her rear back with a gasp and blink furiously._

_The face that hovered only inches from hers was worn and drawn, eyes wide in terror, and it took far more effort than it should for her to whisper his name._

Oliver was there, finally. Everything she had wanted and wished for and needed; the one thought that had kept her fighting was in front of her and she wasn't sure she believed it.

Slowly she began to recognize he was with her. She could feel the warmth of his hands seep into her skin, his breath coast over her face, and heard the ragged desperate way he said her name as he pressed his forehead into hers. He sounded scared. She had never heard him like that before.

It was hard to focus her eyes on his, and when he drew back slightly she found herself staring at the zipper of his jacket. His body language changed, his hands gripped her tighter when she heard the word 'No' come from like a curse she turned her head slowly to see him studying the gun that still lay across her middle.

The chill that had overtaken her spread further as a wave of wretched tasting guilt swirled in her gut. He knew what she'd done.

"Oliver...I killed him. I killed him Oliver…" her voice sounded strange to her ears, like it wasn't hers and the words belonged to someone else. "Oliver...I...I killed him. Oliver," she didn't know why she kept saying his name, maybe because she'd gone so long with only saying it in her head and not out loud, or maybe because she somehow knew it was the only thing keeping her sane just then.

The pain in his normally soft blue eyes made her heart clench, but when his hand cupped her cheek she couldn't help but turn into his touch, "Shhh, don't try and think about that right now, okay, you're safe."

She let her eyes fall shut and heard him yell at Digg to find the key to the cuffs.

"What did that sick son of a bitch do to her?" Digg said harshly, and then all she felt was a white hot flare of fire across her arm as it was lowered and blood began circulating again.

She tried to keep from getting sick as they worked around her. Her body was shifted down in the bed and then Oliver was somehow on her other side, wiping away tears she hadn't known were there.

"Felicity, look at me, focus on me, okay?" he ordered just before there was a tug on her sleeve and the sound of ripping fabric.

It was hard to keep her eyes open, but Oliver looked so worried and so scared she tried for him.

"Where are you hurt? Did he shoot you?" he asked, and she grounded herself on the feel of his touch and the sound of his voice,

"I don't know, maybe?" she answered honestly. Her struggle with Nate was a blur and felt like it had been over within seconds. As the adrenaline left her system the sedative seemed to be trying to take hold.

Cool hands were on her wrist and Digg's muttered curse made her turn her head to see him looking at her forearm. There were numerous cuts, some deeper than other from where the knife had cut her as she'd kept it hidden.

"I did that," she offered, knowing they thought it was something Nate had done, "I stole a knife. From the diner. I stole a knife and I hid it."

Digg's dark eyes shuttered shut for a second before he dropped a hand atop her head, but she saw a flash of pride mixed with sadness cross his face.

Digg understood. Not that Oliver didn't, but she knew it was going to be harder for him. "I had to kill him. I didn't want to but...I…" she stuttered out, unable to finish, but one look from Digg and she knew she didn't need to.

"I know," it was absolution, and understanding, and approval wrapped in two words, and it was exactly what she needed to hear just then.

She could feel Oliver's gaze as it bored into her but it took a long moment before they all breathed again, and then Digg was looking at her arm and Oliver was pushing loose hair out of her face.

Her hand found the sleeve of Oliver's jacket and held on tight, trying not to cry out at every pull or twinge of pain she felt.

"It was a bullet, but I can't tell if it's a graze of if it's still in there." he said as he stood back and turned towards the door. "Med kit is in the car, I'll get it and call Lance too...let him know. Local P.D should at least come secure the scene and send an ambulance."

"NO!" the word was ripped from her throat and she tried to pull herself upright, "No ambulance, no hospital." the thought of being separated from Oliver for any reason made her panic,

"Felicity…" Oliver began but she whipped her head towards him and pleaded,

"Oliver, please," her throat was so thick the words were barely audible, "Let Digg fix me. I want to go home. Please let me go home."

She could see the battle that waged within him, the part of him that wanted to put her in the car and head straight back to Starling, and the part of him that wanted her bundled off to the hospital to have every possible test run to make sure she'd be okay.

When his strong arms suddenly slid underneath her and a low rumbling sound grew from deep in his chest as he picked her up she knew some decision had been made.

She tucked her head into his shoulder as he walked towards the door, very purposely not looking anywhere near where Nate still lay. The feeling of security and safety she'd needed the entire time settled over her and it was almost impossible now to keep her eyes open.

She startled when Oliver called her name and told her to wake up, his arms holding her tighter. They were outside, standing in front of the motel room as she looked up to see him staring at her worriedly.

His lips brushed her forehead and then her temple, "I thought I'd lost you," he breathed out and she could hear the deep seeded fear in his voice, "I need you to stay awake, okay, you'll be able to rest soon."

Her eyes pricked with tears at his tone because she could feel the pull of the sedative and knew her body was no longer in any condition to fight it. "I'm sorry," she said slowly, hating how thick her tongue felt in her mouth, "The sedative...I didn't get much but…"

"Sedative? What sedative?" he asked sharply, "Felicity, open your eyes!"

"He kept me drugged." she had to pause and lick her lips twice before she could continue, "For a few days...I don't know how long." her head felt like it was too heavy to hold up and she let it fall limp against him, "We fought...he got me in the shoulder…I'm sorry…"

Oliver shouting for Digg was the last thing she heard.

She woke up to raised voices. Voices she recognized though, even if she couldn't place both of them at the moment. She was warm, and she could feel the rumble of Oliver speaking and it made her smile as she whispered his name. Then she remembered the last time she'd thought he was there, and how she'd woken up to Nate's hand in her hair and she came to with a start, eyes flying open as she tried to make sense of her surroundings.

"Felicity, you're safe, it's over,"

"Oliver? You're here?" her brain still felt muddled and slow and she was half trapped in her memory,

Calloused fingers caressed her cheek as he looked down at her, "Yeah, we found you. Digg and I found you. You called me, remember?"

She narrowed her eyes trying to recall, "The diner, I called you from the diner." she said slowly as it began to come back to her, "The nice waitress, she let me use her phone." as long as she lived she'd be grateful to the woman for helping her. Then in a flash she remembered everything. A shock went through her body, as she went instantly numb "Oh god, Oliver...I…"

That was all she got out before she felt her stomach revolt. Her head buzzed with static and she was only vaguely aware as he tipped her to the side, strong hands making sure she didn't fall. Someone else moved her hair out of the way and held her head, but all she could do was make horrid noises as she dry heaved.

She'd killed Nate. She'd taken a life.

Feeling gradually returned to her limbs. Oliver was whispering comforting words into her ear as he held her and she focused on his voice as she tried to calm her ragged breath. When she felt like she could she lifted her head some to see Quentin Lance kneeling before her.

He had a sad smile on his face and looked more haggard than usual.

"Det...Detective?" she stammered out, not fully understanding at the moment how he was there,

He reached out to adjust the blanket that lay over her legs before he spoke, "Hey sweetheart, glad we got you back."

The words were simple, but she understood what he was saying. There was a look of understanding in his eyes, one that told her he wasn't sorry she was the one that had made it out of that motel room alive, and she shouldn't be either.

She couldn't deal with that just then. The guilt was trying to eat her up.

Her eyes flicked over his shoulder, down to the bandage on her arm, and then up to Oliver, "Where's Digg?" she asked, not even hiding her attempt to ignore what Lance had said.

"He's talking to the agents that who've been working the case. But he fixed you up first," Oliver told her

"Speaking of agents…" Lance began slowly and she felt her heart plummet, "I know you might not feel up to it, but you're going to need to give a statement."

She felt the blood drain from her face at the thought of having to tell anyone what had happened. Oliver went rigid beneath her, rumbling vibrations from his chest announcing his displeasure. She knew how upset he had to be and she wanted to be able to ease his worry, to assure him everything was fine, but she knew it wasn't. She wasn't fine. She didn't want to have to talk about what happen. To have to relive the worst experience of her life.

Lance was talking again but she couldn't understand anything, only hear the shifting tones of the words.

Her body shook, much like it had when she was still trapped on that bed. "Do I have to?" she almost didn't recognize the pitiful voice as her own. A great rush of air left Oliver's lungs and she felt him slip a hand into her hair, gathering her towards him.

For a brief moment the world was shut out. All she knew was the smell of leather, and safety as she pressed her face into his neck. She could feel the pressure of his fingers as they pressed into her scalp, and could feel his breath as he murmured into her ear, but the blood was rushing too hard for her to hear anything until a high pitched siren broke through.

She winced and turned into him further, the sound muffled when he covered her ear with his hand.

If she hadn't felt every muscle in Oliver's body go as rigid as steel she wouldn't have looked up, but she'd been with him too long not to trust his reactions.

She turned her head to the left and saw people everywhere, and three of them were heading right towards her.

If she had been more aware she would have recognized the three men as paramedics. She would have registered the ambulance in the background, and the men in uniform, and the dark blue bullet proof vests with F.B.I across the back. But all she saw were strangers, and a threat. Some sort of noise broke through her panic and she realized it came from her own throat.

Then Digg was there and he and Oliver were using tones they only used when they hunted down bad guys.

"Give her some space and let me brief you," Digg said sharply, but there was still a dark shape coming towards her until he slapped out a palm and physically stopped him, "Hey, man, you need to listen!"

It was too much. Too many voices. Too many people. She just wanted Oliver. She wanted it to be quiet, in her head more than anywhere, but she mostly wanted quiet and to know he was with her. She wrapped her good hand in his jacket and used it to pull herself closer into him, tucking her head under his chin and concentrating on the beat of his heart.

"I just want to go home. I want it all to be over,"

She hadn't realized she'd said it out loud until she heard his strained voice, "It's almost over. I promise."

Her body relaxed some and she sank into him even further as she tried to push the panic away and focus on what she'd seen instead. Ambulance. Men with red crosses on their jackets and med kits in their hand. The F.B.I. and the sheriff. Lance, and Digg, and Oliver. All the people she'd wanted and needed for days were finally there. But she couldn't help but think it was all too late.

Digg's calm voice broke her from the rapid downward spiral of her thoughts.

"Hey, they have to look you over, okay. They're not going to touch your arm, and they're not going to take you to the hospital." he paused and she knew he wanted to see her.

Slowly and with bursts of pain shooting up and down her arm she turned back towards him, seeing him at eye level with her. For a second he let his mask slip and she saw how tired he was, and how worried he'd been. His gaze flashed to Oliver before he scrubbed a hand over his face and looked back at her. "But you're going to have to go lay on the stretcher, okay?"

A rough noise of protest came from her chest and Oliver was suddenly on his feet like he wanted to bolt, and he had every intention of taking her with him.

Her eyes shut tight as she tried to quell the terror she'd felt at being separated from Oliver.

"Oliver, we don't have a choice. Let them check her out and get it over with. She could probably use some fluids which we don't have with us." Digg said under his breath, but she heard every word.

Lance was the next to speak, "Sorry, they need at least a basic statement today." Oliver was fairly trembling with ill suppressed rage. She knew he felt responsible. She knew he'd been killing himself with guilt since the moment he'd known she was missing. He was barely hanging on by a thread, much like herself. But if they both fell apart she didn't know what would happen.

"Let's get it over with," Digg cajoled, and she caught what was unsaid. The sooner this is taken care of the sooner they could leave.

Like a switch had been flipped she swallowed heavily and shut her eyes tight while she shoved away every bad thought, every feeling of panic that made her want to flee. She was analytical, she was logical. She could tell them what they needed to know as quickly and as efficiently as possible.

When Oliver looked down at her she saw his brows draw together in surprised confusion. "I can do it," she told him,

The wave of sadness that crossed his face made her heart clench, "You shouldn't have to."

For some reason those words broke through and she was unable to stop the high, barking laugh of disdain that came out. "Shouldn't have to do a lot of things. Don't have a choice," she said resignedly as she tried to ignore the memories that tried to assault her. Memories of doing too many things she shouldn't had to do.

It was the forlorn, almost broken expression on Oliver's face that tore her from her own misery. He was looking right through her, lost in his own hell and it wasn't until she brushed her fingers across his too long stubble and whispered his name that he came back to her.

For a split second she saw all the pain he'd been trying to hide from her before he curled over her, burying his face in her neck. "I missed you," he murmured throatily,

Tears pricking her eyes she turned into him until her lips made contact with his skin, "I missed you," She'd do this. If not for herself then for him, because they both needed this to be over. "I can do this,"

He pulled back with a gasp and before she could blink he'd kissed her. It was quick and too hard, and over too soon, but her lips burned and a rush of warmth filled her. She watched as he rapidly blinked reddened eyes before he lifted his head and and looked at Lance and then to another man who had joined them who she had to assume was the agent in charge.

"She gets upset at all and this is over." he ordered, voice harder than she'd ever heard it before.

There were nods of agreement and then Digg was leading them to the ambulance.

Oliver stalked in his wake, and easily climbed in the back with her in his arms. He hesitated before he laid her on the empty stretcher, his lips brushing her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere," and then he was lowering her, his hand slipping out from underneath her legs first before he cupped the back of her neck and gently laid her flat.

Her hand flashed out and caught his, holding on tight as she felt her chest constrict and her breathing grew shallow.

He smoothed a warm palm over her head, "You're safe, I'm right here."

She gave him a tight lipped nod, and gripped him tighter.

"Sir, you'll need to step out while we-"

The paramedic who had climbed in behind them didn't get to finish as Oliver locked a glare worthy of the Arrow on him. "I'm not leaving."

"Please, I want him to stay," she said in the strongest voice she could muster.

The medic sighed, and she took his agreement to the arrangement by the way he started to gather his equipment.

Oliver's focus was back on her, and at first she barely noticed as her pulse and oxygen levels were checked. It was when the medic moved to her other side and began to feel around her skull that she was struck with a memory of Nate touching her hair and she startled badly.

She jerked towards Oliver, who was already shooting out a hand to stop the medic from continuing. "Please...please don't touch my hair. He...he touched my hair...I can't."

Oliver looked like he'd be more than happy to put an arrow in the man, who was frozen in place. But he gave her a sympathetic smile and backed off.

After that he announced everything he was going to do and made sure she was okay with it first. When he wanted to start an I.V to give her fluids she balked. It took Oliver leaning over and talking to her quietly. Telling her they were almost through, and that he had the plane waiting to take them back to Starling.

That had caught her attention. While the medic readied her hand Oliver began to tell her how they had thought to look for her in Ashford.

"Mostly blind luck," he said with a shake of his head. "There hadn't been a real lead for days. The profiler was convinced you'd been taken back east, and that's where the F.B.I was focusing most of their efforts. Digg and I had been pouring over every bit of evidence we had when a call came in from Lance. He said they had received an anonymous tip that Samuels had been spotted in a town about three hours from here and he was going to ride along." Oliver's thumb constantly moved over the back of her hand as the medic inserted the port and began to hook up the bag of fluids.

Her eyes had shut when the needle had gone in and she swallowed down bile as she remembered Nate repeatedly drugging her.

Feeling shaky and lightheaded she forced herself to look at Oliver, "It was obviously a bad lead. And it doesn't explain how you knew to come here."

"Digg was looking at a map of the surrounding area, just happened to see the name of the town and remembered he'd seen the same name on the diner menu from the backpack in the plaza. We decided to come on a whim and check it out. Honestly I think Digg was just trying to get me out in an attempt to clear my head a bit." Oliver bowed his head and she saw a dark cloud of guilt fill his eyes,

"What?" she wriggled her fingers from his grasp and laid her hand on the back of his neck, gently pulling her nails through the short hairs.

"We're six hours from Starling. We shouldn't have driven. We could have been here faster and…"

"Hey, you had no reason to think I was here, you said so yourself. Don't take on blame that's not yours." she said softly. They couldn't do this now. She couldn't have a breakdown in the back of an ambulance.

He was quiet for a long time, and neither of them noticed when the medic slipped away.

She was about to tell him to go get the agent when the man stepped inside, ducking until he could sit on the low bench.

"Ms. Smoak, I'm Agent Jackson and I'm in charge of the task force based out of Starling City."

She nodded in reply and could feel her heart rate begin to rise.

"Mr. Queen I'm going to need you to step out while I take Ms. Smoak's statement."

The tension in the small space rose quickly as Oliver shook his head and said 'No'.

"Mr. Queen…" Jackson began again but Oliver just leveled him with a glare, which Jackson decided to ignore. "I understand this is difficult, but I am already compromising by conducting the interview here instead of insisting that Ms. Smoak be taken to the nearest field office and debriefed immediately, which is typically how things would go in a situation like this."

"I would like to see you try,"

Agent Jackson's eyes flashed, he was clearly not used to be challenged, "Sir, I will get the statement one way or the other."

Oliver fingers tightened almost painfully over hers and she could feel the anger running off him in waves. "You can threaten to have her transported. But if you do that I'd like to remind you that I have the Defense Secretary's private number, and Queen Consolidated's Applied Sciences division holds quite a few defense contracts. It would be unfortunate if those contracts were terminated and the research lost because certain members of the government couldn't conduct themselves satisfactorily."

Her head turned to look at Oliver in shock. She'd heard him threaten people as Arrow numerous times, but never had she seen him do the same as Oliver Queen, CEO.

Jackson looked away, his jaw tightening as he considered Oliver's words, "Mr. Queen, I do not wish to cause Ms. Smoak any further stress. But I also cannot allow you to be present when she gives her statement."

"Oliver, it's okay. I'll be fine." she said quickly, trying to diffuse the situation as much as she could. She'd seen Oliver on edge before, but nothing like this.

He tore his gaze from the agent and whipped his head to look at her, "Felicity…"

She tried not to let the hurt in his expression phase her. She knew he just wanted to protect her and keep her safe, and she knew he thought he'd already failed at that and was doing everything in his power to fix it now, but it still stung to see the slight betrayal in his eyes.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath when she was unable to hide her reaction, "No, I...I just need you..." he cut himself off and shut his eyes tight for a moment, "Are you sure?"

"I just want it over with."

"Okay," he agreed, "I'll be right out there if you need me." he said forcefully before he brushed his lips over her cheek and was gone.

Agent Jackson waited until Oliver had cleared the end of the ambulance and moved closer. She let out a long controlled breath through pursed lips. She could do this.

"I'm sorry to have to do this now Ms. Smoak."

"It's okay, I understand. But he...he kept me drugged, I don't know if I'll be able to tell you everything you want."

"Don't worry about that right now. Why don't you start at the beginning with what you do remember."

There was something about him that reminded her a little bit of Lance and she felt herself relaxing slightly.

Slowly and haltingly she began to talk. She told him about being drugged for days, only being allowed to come out of the sedative long enough to eat. She told him about how Nate didn't talk to her until the day before when he told her about his plan. Tears slipped down her face when she recounted being forced to dress like Jenny, and how she found out he'd killed Monroe. By the time she got to the confrontation after the diner she was barely speaking above a whisper, having to restart her sentence three times before she could tell his plan to kill her and himself in an attempt to end it all.

"He was going to kill me. He had the knife and I had one hand cuffed to the bed...I grabbed the gun and fired."

"It was self defense, Ms. Smoak. You did everything you could."

"That may be but the end is still the same, I killed my cousin."

He nodded gravely, "Is there anything else you can tell me about the week you were missing? Anything that might give us some insight into his thought process?"

Felicity blinked in confusion, "Week? I'm sorry?"

He didn't seem to understand what she was asking, "Yes, the week you've been held captive. Is there anything else you remember?"

"No…you've got it wrong. He had me only three or four days. I re…" her hand covered her mouth as her stomach dropped,

Jackson leaned in, concern creasing his brow but she barely saw him. "Ms. Smoak, you've been missing for over a week. The kidnapping occurred last Saturday, it's now the following Sunday."

Immediately she was overwhelmed by terror. Images of what Nate could have done to her in those days where she was hardly conscious ripped through her head one after another until she felt like she was drowning. He'd touched her, he'd dyed her hair. She knew he'd changed her clothes, but what if it had been more than once. What if it had been more than that?

There was a sharp pain in her hand and then pressure before Oliver's hoarse, frightened voice finally broke through to her. "Felicity! You're safe! You're okay!" he shouted, hands cupping her face,

"A week?" she gasped out between sobs, "A week? Oliver...I didn't….I didn't know! I didn't know!" she collapsed against him, clutching at his jacket, "I didn't know it had been that long. What did he do to me? I can't remember! What did he do?"

She was lifted from the stretcher and she was only somewhat aware of Oliver's short, stilted movements to get her out of the ambulance as quick as possible.

"We're leaving. Now." he ground out,

Her chest was tight and tiny white sparks shot across the back of her eyelids as she tried to draw a full breath and failed.

She was set on something cool and then Oliver was leaning over her, his hands gripping her shoulder and her neck, "Felicity! Breathe! You're having a panic attack. Open your eyes and look at me."

It took more effort than it should have but she got her eyes open, and she could see they were in the car. She was slumped in the backseat with Oliver above her, eyes wild and frightened and Digg turned to face them from the front.

"Listen to my voice, and concentrate on your breaths."

He was trying to keep his tone even and calm, but she could hear the cracks and the tremors that betrayed him.

Slowly she was able to control her ragged breaths and the high panicky feeling she had began to dissipate.

She began to speak but Oliver stopped her by laying a finger across her lips, "Don't, don't talk about it right now."

With a sigh she let her head fall back as she leaned into his arm.

"Let's go, Digg." he said tightly, and gathered her back to him,

Small tremors periodically made her body shake head to toe and each time Oliver would hold her tighter and whisper to her that she was safe, and she could sleep.

By the time they passed the diner, her eyes were half lidded and heavy. By the time they arrived at the airstrip she felt the car stop and the sounds of doors being opened and shut. And by the time the plane took off for Starling she and Oliver were both asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: PLEASE READ AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**After some consideration I have decided to put the five chapters of Oliver's pov to Felicity being gone in this main work. It also still exists as a separate companion piece called 'Times Like These-Seven Days Without Her-Oliver's pov'.**

**Originally it was only going to exist as the companion piece, but as my writing often does it got away from me. Approaching 30K words I realized there was a lot going on for Oliver during this time and because it wasn't attached to the main story I was concerned readers of TLT could have missed it. His pov is important.**

**If I could go back in time I would have alternated their povs for the time they were separated. Hindsights always 20/20 though.**

**This is not a ploy to get more reviews, not at all. If no one reviews the five chapters of Oliver's pov I will totally understand. I just want to make sure this isn't missed.**

**To those who have read his pov in the separate post and just got the alert that TLT had been updated you have my deepest apologies!! As soon as the five parts are added here a new chapter from Felicity's pov will be up.**

**Hope this isn't too confusing and you understand why I decided to do this.**

**Enjoy the man!pain, there's  a lot of it!**

 

**-Part one of Oliver's pov begins with him waking up in the hospital after the roadside bomb/car crash.**

 

Oliver woke up early Sunday morning almost eighteen hours after their car had run over a roadside bomb and rolled down an embankment. His eyes came open with a snap, adjusting quickly to the dimly lit hospital room as he tried to gather his foggy memories and push away the pain in his head and shoulder.

A sound from the darkened corner had him lifting his head slightly to see an uncomfortable looking Roy Harper half out of the chair he'd been sitting in.

With a sigh Oliver let his head fall back and raised the arm that didn't hurt to scrub at his still blurry eyes. "What the hell happened?" he asked hoarsely,

Roy shuffled towards the end of the bed and kept cutting anxious looks to the door. Oliver surmised his sister had been there as well and left Roy momentarily, not thinking he'd wake while she was gone.

"Uh...sorry, Thea will be back soon. But...your...Mr. Diggle, he's around if you want me to…" Roy was already almost to the door and didn't bother to wait for Oliver to respond.

He let his eyes fall shut and tried to force away the pounding in his head. He gave an experimental roll of his shoulder and bit out a low groan. It was stiff and sore, and felt exactly like it had the last time he'd dislocated it.

The last thing he remembered was Digg yelling and Felicity screaming as they were thrown over the side, he'd tried to reach her but hadn't been able. The violent tumbling had kept him pinned to the door and then all he'd known was blackness.

Roy slipped back into the room, looking even more nervous than he had before, "Sorry, I didn't see him. But I sent Thea a text. She'll be back up in a-"

"Where's Felicity?" Oliver interrupted,

Roy stilled and paled and a knot of fear grew in the pit of Oliver's stomach.

"Where's. Felicity?" he asked again, this time through half gritted teeth as he tried to stop imagining worst case scenarios.

Roy scuffed the floor with his shoes and looked everywhere but at Oliver. "Look, you should wait for Mr. Diggle, or Thea, this isn't my…"

"Where the hell is she?!" he demanded, pushing away the covers and swinging his legs over the side of the bed, completely ignoring the wave of nausea and dizziness that washed through him.

The kid scrubbed a rough hand over his head and raised his eyes, "She's gone,"

Oliver was certain his heart had stopped beating. The pain that flared through his chest was swift and merciless, leaving him breathless and unable to stand as he sank back to the mattress.

"Oh shit! No! I mean, she was taken...kidnapped. Not  _gone_  gone. That psycho freak caused the accident and took her from the car. I...shit…I'm sorry."

"She's not…" he couldn't bring himself to say the words, but Roy was already shaking his head,

"No! God no! I'm…the F.B.I is here, and they've been looking for her."

Oliver tuned him out, clutching the edge of the bed as he tried to control his ragged breath and calm his racing heart. She was alive.

He heard the door open, and then Digg's distinctive voice, "Oliver, you're awake."

"He uh...he knows." Roy supplied,

"Yeah, kid, I can see that."

As Oliver sat he let the pain he'd felt at thinking he'd lost her transform into a low, quiet, anger he knew he'd need as they worked to find her.

He was on his feet by the time Digg reached his side, trying not to grimace as his arm hung, pulling at the sore muscles. A tug on his left hand had him noticing an I.V for the first time and in only a few moments he'd shut off the fluids and removed the port, pressing his thumb hard over the spot to keep it from bleeding.

"Where are my things? We're leaving." he bit out, and could see the bruising along the side of the other man's face as well as the way he didn't stand as naturally as he normally did.

Digg cut a glance to Roy and then back, "Oliver, maybe you should wait until the doctor clears you,"

He just narrowed his eyes and repeated himself, making sure his tone couldn't be questioned.

It was Roy that dropped a leather duffle at the foot of the bed, "Thea brought you some things."

Digg shot the kid a look that would scare most men but Roy merely shrugged and stepped back. "If it was Thea I wouldn't be laying around either." he said simply and then exited the room.

"Oliver…" Digg began again but he held up a hand and stopped him,

"Don't! We have to find her." he said, already reaching for the bag,

"I was going to say hurry up and get changed. We've got work to do." the two shared a look and Oliver let out a small breath, knowing Digg wanted to find her just as badly and his previous words were just a front for Roy.

As he stripped off the hospital top and dug through the bag, he half turned over his shoulder, "Are there any leads?"

"None. She wasn't there when I came to. You had to be cut from the car and hauled up the hillside on a board. Chopper brought you back to Starling." he said tightly, a shuttered look passing over his eyes that made Oliver pause,

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Monroe's dead. Bullet to the head. And his gun is missing."

Oliver's eyes shut tight and his stomach dropped, "Samuels killed him,"

Digg just nodded once,

"I'm sorry, he was a good man."

Digg straightened up and adjusted his jacket, "He was and he died doing his job." at Oliver's furrowed brow he continued, "ME said he was awake before he was shot, and there were signs of a struggle not compatible with injuries from the crash. He tried to fight Samuels off and Samuels killed him."

Oliver didn't want to know why he and Digg hadn't received the same fate, but it wasn't something he was going to question right then.

"Are there any leads? Any idea where he's taken her?" now that he'd known Nate had killed, Oliver knew they had to find her as soon as possible.

"Lance has been keeping me in the loop as much as he can. They're going to want to talk to you. And they've consulted some profiler from D.C. to try and figure out his next move. But there doesn't seem to be any trace of them."

Oliver's head dropped and his hands tightened on the bag he was zipping up so violently he heard the leather strain. She had to be okay. The idea of trying to live without her was not something he could even think about.

A heavy hand dropped to his good shoulder and squeezed once, "We're going to find her, man."

"She's not…" he regretted the words almost as soon as they were out of his mouth, but the memory of thinking she was dead still resonated within him and for some reason he needed Diggle to be the one to tell him.

"No reason to think that, no reason at all." Digg confirmed, although his voice seemed tight and he clapped Oliver on the back once before he stepped away.

Oliver concentrated on changing as quickly as possible, all his thoughts focused on what they could do to find her. He couldn't let himself begin to imagine what was happening to her.

"You know they're not going to just let you walk out of here."

Oliver just gave a distracted shake of his head, "I'm fine." he said automatically, and heard Digg give a disbelieving scoff, "My head hurts," he conceded, "but I've had worse and it's not enough to keep me away."

"You don't have to convince me. I knew you'd be out of that bed as soon as you were awake." he stated as he took the bag from the bed and turned towards the door, "Now, let's go find our girl."

They got waylaid ten feet out the door by a disapproving nurse and Thea who ran up looking tired and worried.

"Ollie, what do you think you're doing?" she said as she laid a hand on his arm and swiveled her head between him and Roy who trailed after her. "Why are you out of bed? Why is he out of bed?"

"Speedy," he said sharply and pried her hand off of him, giving it a squeeze as he looked down at her, "I can't stay here. I have…" his eyes shut tight and he blew out a long breath, "I have to find her,"

Thea's eyes softened, "Ollie, I know. I get that but you were just unconscious for the past day, you can't be ready to leave yet." she turned to the nurse who had joined them, "He isn't cleared to leave is he?"

"Mr. Queen, I really must insist you return to your room. The doctor will be around in a few hours on rounds and you can discuss your discharge then." she said in a stern tone.

He could feel his frustration rise as every minute he was detained was a minute where he wasn't looking for Felicity.

"I'm sorry, but that's not possible. Get me whatever forms I need to sign to leave immediately." he used his 'CEO' voice as Felicity had dubbed it and for a second he saw a flash of her smile, and it sent a pang through his chest.

His eyes caught Digg's over Thea's head as she ranted and fumed, but his stoic silence eventually led to the nurse leaving with a sigh and Thea finally being pulled away by Roy, who surprisingly seemed to understand exactly where Oliver was coming from.

It took half an hour he didn't have to listen to the words of caution about how dangerous it was for him to be checking out against medical advice but he dismissed them without thought and signed the papers.

"The F.B.I has asked to speak to you, sir." Digg said, loud enough that Thea could hear, and he saw her head whip around,

"Now?! They can't give him half a day to die from a brain bleed because he's too damn stubborn to stay in the hospital like he belongs." she argued, hands waving, but he could hear the fear in her voice.

"Speedy, I'm fine. I promise." he said softly, taking her by the shoulders and making her look at him, "I have to do this. If there's anything I know that could help find her, I have to do this."

She gave a long sigh and then nodded. He kissed her forehead and set her back with a tight smile that he knew fell away more quickly than it should have.

"Mom's at the house. She was going to take the afternoon shift here, but she's been trying to handle some of the stuff from the office. Thankfully it's the weekend…"

Oliver felt a wave of weariness pass over him at the idea of having to deal with running the company right then as well. All he could think about, all he wanted to think about was getting Felicity back.

"I'll see her when I get there." he promised,

"You'll get Felicity back, Ollie, I know you will." Thea said softly, wide brown eyes looking up at him with sympathy,

He couldn't help the way all the air left his lungs, or how he pulled his sister back towards him for a tight hug.

Then he was moving away, Digg falling into step beside him and for the first time he noticed the three other agents. Monroe's absence was more startling than he expected it to be.

As they walked the corridors he could see the limp and stiffness Digg was trying to hide, "How are you? I'm sorry…" he said with a wave to his obviously injured left side.

"I'm fine. I've had worse, just like you." Digg replied as evenly as he could but there was a hint of something there he couldn't quite understand. What he did know was the man at his side would also go to any lengths to get Felicity back as well.

Digg held them back when they got to the lobby as he nodded to two of the other agents, "Let them go get the cars," he said and Oliver let out a huff of irritation at yet another delay.

As they waited he realized with a start there were no cameras or paparazzi trying to get to him.

"What the hell's going on? Where's the media?"

Digg shook his head slightly, "I'll fill you in once we're in the car."

When the cars had been pulled up and they were finally alone Digg caught his eye in the rearview mirror. "You want to head home or to the feds?"

"Feds. I want to know what's going on and what they're doing to find her." he said stiffly, "But for now explain how I wasn't swarmed by cameras leaving the hospital."

John gave an almost rueful shake of his head. "Dumb luck at first." he stated and Oliver leaned forward to hear better, "We were far enough outside the city that no one caught wind of what had happened. Once you were flown back the F.B.I dropped a media blackout on the hospital. Threatened prosecution if anything about your condition or even your presence there was released to the public. I think at first they were concerned Samuels might still be coming after you. There's been the usual cameras hanging out around the mansion and the office but...it's been quiet at the hospital."

Oliver sat back in surprise, "But...this should still be all over the news. Felicity was taken."

Digg sighed heavily and Oliver knew whatever he was about to be told would not be good, "Her abduction is being kept quiet as well."

"What?!" Oliver exploded, white hot anger coursing through his veins as he tried to process the information that made no sense to him.

"When the feds realized the...accident had escaped the media's attention they consulted with the profiler I told you about. He felt Samuels was too unstable, too reactionary. His advice was to keep it quiet and not spook him. They're afraid he's going to start bombing anything and everything, especially if he feels like he's being hunted."

"So…" he felt numb, and heavy, like he was trying to swim through something thick that was doing its best to drag him down.

"No one outside us and the F.B.I know Felicity is missing," Digg finished for him,

Oliver sat back heavily in the seat, both hands coming up to scrub roughly over his face as he tried to understand.

"How did this even happen? How did he know where we'd be?" the anger slipped through, making his words harsh and sharp as he spoke through a clenched jaw.

He didn't notice at first as Digg shifted in his seat, tension entering his broad shoulders. "It's my fault," he bit out, a tone of self-loathing and guilt Oliver had never heard him use before.

"Explain,"

"I saw the IED too late. Wasn't looking for it. And when I saw the signs…"

Oliver looked at his partner's profile in shock, "Diggle...you're not in the Middle East any more driving a Humvee. No one blames you for not noticing something you shouldn't have been looking for."

"I blame me. It's my job. It's my area of expertise and I failed. A man died, and Felicity is gone and that's on me."

His words were harsh and filled with more than either man wanted to delve into just then so Oliver nodded and clapped a hand on his shoulder before he sat back.

"How did he know where we'd be?" Oliver could remember all too vividly the conversation he'd had with his mother and Felicity the night before about how safe it would be for them to attend the event.

A muscle in Digg's jaw ticked, "One of the investors decided to issue a press release without clearing it first. Apparently it made the eleven o'clock news but no one knew about it. All we can figure is that Samuels saw it there and had the bomb ready. It was remote detonated. All he'd have to do is hide somewhere close and push the trigger at the right moment."

Oliver shook his head at how even when they thought they were doing everything they could Samuels was still managing to stay two steps ahead.

They left each other in silence until they pulled up out front of the building where the F.B.I had set up their office. It was only a few days prior when he'd been there with Felicity but it felt like a lifetime ago.

Oliver didn't wait for Digg to come open the door for him. He was out of the car and striding to the entrance, hardly registering as the other agents scrambled to keep up with him. Digg was forced to admonish with an expected "Mr. Queen," but Oliver paid him no mind.

He didn't see the agent they'd spoken with last time, but soon enough he was being escorted into a small office that held a simple table and chairs and offered something to drink which he declined.

"Mr. Queen, I'm sorry we have to meet like this," an agent he didn't recognize said as he entered the room, "I'm Special Agent Jackson, I've been given lead over the office in Starling City,"

"What's the status? Do you have any leads?" Oliver said immediately, no time wasted on pleasantries.

He sighed as he sat across the table, a thick file folder laid before him. "I'm afraid not. There's been no sign of Ms. Smoak or the suspect."

"And yet I'm told her abduction has been kept out of the media? There's a chance someone could see her and recognize her. Young, pretty, blonde women taken against their will are bound to stand out and draw attention, but if no one knows she's missing it's pointless!" his voice rose with his growing frustration at not understanding why they didn't seem to be doing everything they could to find her.

"I understand your points, Mr. Queen but we're operating under guidance from one of our top criminal profilers. He's concerned about the suspect's fragile mental state and the fact that his previous threats had escalated so quickly under a short period of time. We could be putting Ms. Smoak at a much higher risk by broadcasting her abduction. Right now the Bureau and your family are the only ones who know she's been taken."

Oliver's eyes narrowed as he leaned closer, "Her family hasn't been notified?"

The man shifted in his chair and paused before he spoke, "Considering the connection between the suspect and his parents they are currently under surveillance. If they're working with him in any way we want to avoid as much cross transfer of information as possible."

Oliver's pressed his palms into his eyes and willed his head to stop throbbing. "You're not telling her parents she's been kidnapped by a psychopath because you're worried they're going to give up information?"

"We're in a delicate situation right now, Mr. Queen. Time is something we don't have. I don't mean to be blunt but most abductions that are not resolved in the first forty-eight hours do not end with the victim being found alive."

His words were like a physical blow and Oliver felt himself rock back as all the air left his lungs. Forty-eight hours. It had already been half that amount of time and they had no leads. The idea that it could end up being a recovery and not a rescue was not something he could process just then.

"Wha...what are you doing to find her?" he managed to stammer out, still unable to take a full breath,

Jackson nodded, "We've got APBs out to all federal and state law enforcement. We're also monitoring airports, train and bus stations, rental car agencies, and the like. Facial recognition is running through traffic cameras both here and back east for either the suspect or Ms. Smoak."

"Why back east?"

"Our profiler believes the suspect is trying to recreate the circumstances surrounding his girlfriend's death; the trigger event that caused his psychotic break. Since he has already found a replacement for his girlfriend by way of Ms. Smoak it follows that he'd attempt to return to the location where the event occurred. The agents who headed up the initial investigation here last week have flown out to be on site and handle the case on that end."

Oliver swore under his breath and pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to tramp down the wave of fear and helplessness that was trying to pull him under.

"So she might not even be in Starling then? She could be anywhere? You have no leads and time is running out. That's what you're telling me."

"I'm afraid so, Mr. Queen,"

"And what do you want me to do if her mother tries to contact her?"

"It would be helpful if you could...facilitate the illusion that Ms. Smoak is fine."

Oliver barked a sharp bitter laugh, "You want me to lie to her parents?"

"If you tell them the truth and the suspect is in fact in touch with his family it could end badly for everyone if the wrong information leaks out."

His head reeled as he tried to make sense of what was happening. He was used to being able to find his target easily. And if he couldn't find them he had Felicity to track them down. With Nate off the grid and without her by his side Oliver didn't know how he was supposed to find her.

For the next twenty minutes he answered repetitive, banal questions about Felicity and the little he knew about Samuels. Each one tore at his ragged nerves until he'd finally had enough.

Head pounding, and blood boiling he reached his limit and pushed to his feet. The agent sat back with a resigned sigh and told him they'd be in touch.

Feeling like he was no longer in his own body Oliver exited the room and headed for the door, ignoring Digg's look of concern. Oliver knew his mask had slipped, he just didn't have the will needed to put it back in place just then.

"They don't have a damn clue where she is." he said, the acid in his throat making the words stick in his mouth,

"Everything Felicity had been working on is back at the mansion. I managed to salvage her phone and tablet from the car and keep them out of federal custody." Digg didn't need to mention that if Felicity's tech had been examined they would have had more questions that they needed just then.

"Then lets head there. We can go to the foundry if we need to." donning the hood and protecting the city had never been further from his mind, but his obligation weighed heavy, as did his need to still continue as head of QC.

Oliver was used to the juggling act that was his life. He'd become proficient at keeping numerous balls in the air at once and rarely dropping them. But right then he wanted to drop them all, because all he could think about was finding Felicity and bringing her home.

His feet felt leaden as he climbed the few stairs to the front entrance of the mansion. As his hand hesitated over the door handle he took a deep breath and forced himself to enter. Walking into the foyer without Felicity by his side was wrong. In one short week everything between them had changed and he knew it was for the better.

He'd felt like a ghost since he'd returned from the island, but she'd brought him back to life. Without her with him he didn't know how he could be expected to continue. She was every good thing he never thought he deserved, and he didn't want to discover what he'd turn into without her next to him where she belonged.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Part two of Oliver's pov. There are five parts total. Thanks for reading this temporary interlude into what he was going through while she was gone.**

Growing up in a mansion he'd never known anything else. It had always been his home. And for as large, and imposing, and impressive as the structure itself was it had never felt anything but warm to him. The dark wood and the heavy fabrics and the smell of citrus polish never failed to center him. Even when he'd returned from the island, his first step through the door had immediately brought him back to his childhood.

But just then, early on that Sunday afternoon the foyer felt oppressive and cavernous at the same time. The floor was shaky beneath his feet and there was an almost damp chill in the space he'd never experienced before.

He glanced at the stairs but couldn't bring himself to go up them yet. The stairs meant his room and the bed he'd kissed Felicity in the day before, her laptop on his desk, and her clothes in his closet, and he knew he couldn't face that reality.

He found himself paused in the doorway to his father's study. Even after being CEO of the company he still considered the room to belong to his father. Shutting his eyes tight a memory washed over him. Robert Queen on the phone while a young Oliver ran a toy car over the shelves of the bookcases. His father had never kicked him out when he got too loud, he'd just place his hand over the receiver and ask him to keep it down. If his mother caught him in there she'd shoo him away, admonishing him for interrupting his father while he was on an important call. But his dad would always throw him a wave and a wink as he was ushered out the door.

The drapes were still pulled shut on the two high windows that flanked the desk, only allowing in a faint amount of light. As he paused in the threshold he couldn't help but wonder how he was supposed to do any of this without her. She was the one who guided him in the boardroom during the day, and was in his ear every night, and now he'd finally dropped all pretences and let her into his heart.

Besides Digg, she was the only one who truly knew not only his facades, but his real identity as well, and without her he felt as adrift and as lost as he had the day he'd had to dig his father's grave with nothing but his own hands.

With a clench of his fists he willed his feet to move forward, making his way towards the desk because even without her there next to him he had to do something to bring her back. There was an ache in his chest he'd never felt before and as he paused in front of the desk he realized what he felt was a sort of desperate hopelessness.

Hands braced on the smoothly polished wood, with his head bowed he didn't hear his mother until she was almost next to him.

"Oliver! Thea said you'd checked yourself out of the hospital! What were you thinking?" Moira said as she hurried the final few steps. He turned his head to look at her, and her hand froze in mid air on it's way to touching him before she pulled it back. "Oh, Oliver…" she whispered, her face falling at what she saw.

He looked back down quickly, one hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he attempted to gain control of his emotions.

"I'm fine, Mom," he said, voice half hoarse and he knew she wouldn't believe him,

"You're not fine, Oliver. The doctor's were worried you could slip into a coma. After everything this family has been through...I wish for once you could have taken care of yourself. Your sister hasn't slept, and this was the third time in a week I had to worry about whether I was going to lose you again!" she didn't yell, but he could hear the break in the last few words as her fear got away from her.

The throb of pain that shot through his skull matched the stab of guilt that hit him. He seemed to be incapable of doing right by anyone.

"I'm sorry, I know this has been difficult on everyone." he began, his voice almost shaking in an effort to keep his mounting anger from erupting. "But I can't lay in that bed when there's a chance I can do something to get her back."

There was a pause before Moira spoke, "Darling, I know you're worried about Felicity, but there's nothing you can do that the F.B.I isn't already doing."

He shook his head forcefully, ignoring how it made flashes of pain lace across his temple, "I can't believe that. Felicity was...is good with computers. She was trying to find Samuels on her own, thought she could track him down. If there's the smallest possibility she was on to something and I could use that…" finally he pushed himself off the desk and turned to face her, "I have to find her, Mom. I can't believe that…"

"I know...Oliver, I know how you feel about her. I know how important she is to you. I'm sorry, I didn't want to add to your burden, I've just been so worried about you and…" she trailed off and dropped her eyes from his for a moment, "I can't help but feel responsible,"

His eyes drew together in confusion, "Mom, what…"

"I'm the one that contacted the investors. And Norman Wainfield took it upon himself to issue a press release. He didn't think the PR department at Queen Consolidated was doing enough to show you were capable of leading the company. If I hadn't of been so eager for you to go to that event none of this would have happened."

He let out a long breath and looked to the ceiling before he took her by the shoulders and tugged her a step closer, "Mom, you can't blame yourself. Samuels was waiting for any opportunity to strike. If it hadn't of been the road to the winery it would have been someplace else."

He didn't blame his mother, he didn't even blame Norman Wainfield. Samuels was the only one who could be held responsible. And Oliver vowed to do whatever he could to find him and make him pay for what he'd done to Felicity.

"Be that as it may, Oliver I still feel responsible." she said sadly, raising a hand to cup his cheek, "Take care of yourself, please."

He gave a stiff nod and stepped back, rubbing both hands over his face as he looked to the desk where reports he'd been reviewing late Friday night still sat. Moira saw his gaze and moved forward to collect them.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this, but Isabel Rochev is on her way back from Germany right now. I tried to persuade her to not cut her trip short but she insisted on returning."

Oliver couldn't help the frustrated half growl that left his throat. Isabel was the last person he wanted to deal with just then.

"She's a shark and she smelled blood. I'm honestly surprised she wasn't back sooner." he bit out acerbically,

"I plan on having a presence at the office until this is resolved. I don't want you to have to worry about the company right now."

"I appreciate that, but if Isabel's back…" that high whine of static was beginning to fill his ears again, the one that reminded him he currently had no control over anything in his life, and it was a feeling he was wholly unused to having.

"I can handle Isabel Rochev, don't worry." his mother said quickly, a fire in her voice that hadn't been there earlier, and he was reminded that Moira Queen had more than held her own while at the helm of QC.

"Thank you,"

Her hand ran over his back gently, "Get some rest if you can, darling." she said softly before she moved past him and exited the room.

With slow, dragging steps he made his way around the desk and sat heavily in the chair, turning it so his back was to the door, something he normally would never do. However, just then he felt too numb and too disoriented to trust any of his island honed instincts. All he could concentrate on was the empty hole in his chest that seemed acutely aware of her absence.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but it was longer than he should have. A sharp rap on the door jolted him from his reverie and he turned to see Digg with an unreadable expression on his face.

"What is it?"

The other man approached, hand outstretched holding what Oliver realized was Felicity's phone. He sucked a sharp breath through his teeth as he took it, looking up and waiting for an explanation.

"Her mom's texted twice since this morning," Digg said evenly, but the strain around his eyes was evident.

Oliver scrubbed one rough hand down his face and rested his forehead in his palm as he turned the phone on, quickly entering Felicity's passcode of _'ARROW'_. He remembered the day he'd caught her typing it in. Her cheeks had flushed pink and she'd started to go off on a ramble about how she knew it wasn't the safest choice and how she of all people should know better. He'd merely smiled and stayed silent, never telling her how endearing he'd found it.

She had a huge amount of email notifications and missed calls, mostly work related but he ignored them and looked at the text messages from her mother.

The first one was sent early and all it said was  _'How are things?'_  but the second was from an hour ago and was longer  _'I'm worried about you. The F.B.I have talked to Dan and Diane but they're not telling them why and I can't find anything on the news. Call me soon.'_

He let the phone fall to the desk as he sat back and looked at Digg expectantly. "They want me to lie. They want me to not tell her parents that she's been taken."

"And what happens if you tell them the truth and Samuels parents are working with him somehow? I don't like lying to them either but...how often do we lie for the greater good? You've got to make peace that this is the same thing."

He understood what Digg was saying. His life was nothing but a lie for those very reasons. To protect people, to keep them safe. But with something that was not Arrow related it seemed wrong.

The heels of his palms pressed tight to his temple before he grabbed the phone and scrolled up to see how Felicity typically replied to her mother. It stung to see the words she'd written only days before. Some responses were long and rambling, and he couldn't help but feel the corner of his mouth twitch as her voice filled his head. It was quickly replaced with a pang that made his head drop forward and his hands clench tightly around the phone. He didn't think he could emulate one of her signature rambles, but there were plenty of replies by her that were short and to the point and he went with that. _'Sorry, been busy with work. No new info. Talk soon.'_

Before he could second guess his decision he hit send and turned the screen off, slipping it into his pocket where he didn't have to look at it; the small device feeling like a concrete block laying over his heart.

"I hope I'm doing the right thing," he said under his breath,

Both men were quiet until Oliver suddenly pushed himself to his feet and took long, brisk strides out of the study, "Have you had a chance to go over anything yet? Were her searches still running?"

He needed something to focus on, something where he felt like he was actively working towards finding her.

The stairs were taken two at a time as Digg fell into step beside him.

"Other than checking her tablet I haven't looked at anything else. I don't know if she still had any searches going or not." Digg answered,

"Knowing Felicity, she probably did." Oliver replied as they made their way down the hallway,

His eyes resolutely ignored the bed as he pushed open the door, all his attention very purposely given to nothing but the desk and the computers she'd left running.

Everything else was in its place, but he knew if he went into the bathroom, or into the closet he'd be assaulted by  _her_  and he didn't think he could face that yet. The bed behind him was bad enough and all his attempts to pretend like it wasn't there crumbled into nothing as he sat in the chair and had a flash of memory from the day before.

He'd woken up before she had, content to lay there with her slight weight resting against his chest. The image was burned into his memory and he had to shut his eyes tight as he remembered how she'd woken up and straddled his waist. The bright morning light had caught her hair and made it glow almost as bright as her smile as they'd traded promises about 'tonight'.

Except there hadn't been a 'tonight'. And there he sat, ineffective as he tried to fight a man who didn't want to fight, he just wanted to hide. A man who essentially had no past and seemed capable of vanishing without a trace. But he'd taken Felicity with him and Oliver knew that if she was capable she'd try and find some way of contacting them. All they could do was continue what she started and hope an opportunity presented itself.

For the rest of the afternoon and well into the night he brought himself up to speed on everything Felicity had been working on. He combed through the files Lance had sent her, searched the hits she'd been running through facial recognition, read the therapists and doctors notes from Samuels time at the mental health facility...anything he could find that would give him the full picture of who and what they were dealing with.

Digg helped where he could, but mostly he provided support services. He dropped food by Oliver's right hand every few hours and reminded him to eat. When a call came from Lance he passed along the message with a tired sigh; there was nothing new to report.

When two pills were laid next to a glass of water Oliver gave a distracted grunt and turned back to the screen. "I'm fine," he bit out, stopping the hand that was halfway to his temple to rub away the pain that refused to abate.

"No, you're not." Digg retorted, "You should probably still be in the hospital, but I'm not going to argue that point. I told you I understood. But you're no use to her if you kill yourself. Take the pills and get a few hours of sleep."

Oliver took a long inhale and kept his eyes forward. "If there's something here…"

"If there's something there I can keep looking. You had to know this was a long shot though, even Felicity couldn't find this guy. He's a ghost-"

With a violent motion Oliver was on his feet, fist pushed into the top of the desk as he felt a tremble of rage work its way down his back. "Don't you think I know that?" he ground out,

Digg's voice was even when he replied, "She'd be the first to tell you to take care of yourself. If we do find something she's going to need you at top form, and you know it."

Before he could do something stupid like flip the desk, or throw a punch at his partner he scooped up the pills and stalked from the room.

"Where are you going?" Digg called out,

"I can't sleep there." he responded without a backwards glance at the bed. A tiny part of him enjoyed the way the door slammed shut loudly behind him and he didn't see anything as he took long strides down the hallway away from his room.

The pills felt heavy in his fist. He hated drugs, he'd lived without them for five years on the island and gone through worse than a bump on the head. A voice that painfully sounded like Felicity's crept in, admonishing him for not taking what was available, and if it helped him get better quicker then what was the problem with that.

He threw the painkillers back, swallowing them dry because he could never tell her no, even if she wasn't actually there.

His steps slowed as he wandered the upper halls, passing all the rooms that mostly sat empty. He could only remember a few instances in his entire life when the house had been full, and for the longest time it had just been him. Him and Tommy, having the run of the place and driving the house staff mad when they'd messed up freshly made beds in ten different rooms. For a second the corner of his mouth twitched up as he recalled how Raisa had caught them before they'd messed up room eleven and then made them go back around with her and fix all the other rooms.

The breath caught in his chest at the memory of his best friend. He'd thought that was the worst pain he'd ever felt, but he knew losing her would be his undoing.

Without realizing it he'd come to a halt directly in front of the door to the room she'd stayed in that first night. With a heavy sigh he pushed in and let it shut carefully behind him.

It had only been a few days and yet she'd merged so seamlessly into the last part of his life he'd kept her separated from it was like she'd always been there.

The room was pristine as always. Any trace of her having occupied the space even for a short while had been erased, but it didn't hold the same memories as his own room did. And even though he'd raced the corridors that night to find her cowering in fear on the floor it still didn't have the same weight.

Already feeling the pull of the narcotics he moved almost sullenly towards the bed. Not bothering to change he toed his shoes off and laid down; he knew he wouldn't be asleep long.

He awoke three hours later to the sound of Felicity screaming his name. He'd made it halfway to the door, chest heaving when he heard the echo in his mind and knew he'd been dreaming. His knees felt loose and weak as he sank into a chair and let his head rest in his hands while he tried to calm his racing heart.

It hadn't been real. She wasn't there. She wasn't calling for him.

The thought struck him that maybe she was calling for him and he couldn't hear her. Did she think he'd abandoned her? Did she think he'd give up? Did she know that he'd do anything to find her and bring her home?

He shook his head forcefully as if he could physically remove the thoughts, or attempt to make them vanish before they could get any worse and he began to imagine what could be happening to her.

The house was silent as he made his way out the door and down the hall. He thought briefly of going back to his room and resuming his work, but he knew Digg would have something to say about it and he wasn't sure he could deal with human interaction just then.

In the basement of the mansion there was a fully equipped gym. He'd insisted his father have it installed when he was sixteen. It had been used for a month before he'd lost interest. He'd been down there a handful of times upon his return, preferring the foundry set up but for what he needed but in the moment it would work.

Digg found him there a little past daybreak, bearing two cups of coffee and tired eyes that let Oliver know the other man hadn't gotten much rest either.

The endless sets of reps had allowed his mind to go blank which is exactly what was necessary. When he was concentrating on his form, or counting which pull up he was on he didn't have to wonder where she was or if she was scared or hurt.

Oliver finished up another set and dropped to the ground with a grunt, grabbing a towel to wipe over his damp chest before he acknowledged Digg with a tilt of his chin as he took the coffee.

"How long did you sleep?" Digg asked carefully, even though Oliver was certain he already knew the answer,

"Long enough," he replied, taking a sip of the drink before sitting it down because it reminded him of Felicity.

Digg let out a long exhale but didn't say anything, just nodded tightly.

"Anything new?" Oliver asked as he tugged a shirt over his head, knowing by Digg's general demeanor there was nothing to report.

"Scans are still running. His name hasn't popped up anywhere and neither has her's, not that I expected it to. I read through the files from the hospital, thought maybe there could be something from the psychologist who skipped town but everything in the records seems to be above board."

Oliver was silent as he let himself fall back against the wall, head tipping up to study the ceiling before he looked back down at his watch. "It's almost been forty-eight hours." Digg shifted but Oliver ignored him and kept talking, "I shouldn't have slept...shouldn't have been down here. The agent said-"

"You can't think like that, man." Digg said quickly, cutting him off.

"Forty-eight hours. They said the chances of finding her alive after forty-eight hours are low. There are no leads. No trail. Nothing!" his fists clenched and pounded backwards but he didn't feel a thing, "How is this even possible? With what we do every damn night in this city how is it that we're sitting here with nothing to go on?!"

The hot sting behind his eyes and the way his throat thickened let him know he was too close to the edge. Without looking back he shoved off the wall and left the room, not sure if Digg was going to follow him or not.

His head was full of horrible images, things he couldn't unsee, and as he moved through the levels of the mansion he was almost completely unaware, all he knew was he had to keep moving.

His long strides ate up the empty space of the foyer when a buzzing in his pocket made him pause with one foot on the bottom step.

It was Felicity's phone, with Detective Lance's face staring back at him.

Oliver knew why he was calling. Lance was trying to get in contact with him. With Arrow.

He let the buzz continue until he knew it would go to voicemail, letting himself sink to sit on the step as he waited.

When the text popped up showing Lance had left a message Oliver let his eyes shut for a long moment, head supported by the heel of his hand as he listened.

There was a low clearing of a throat and then Lance's distinctive growl, _'...This message is for him...you know who I'm talking about. I'm sure you're looking for her. Doing whatever you do. There's not much...not much to go on. Nothing new in almost twenty-four hours. I'd like to meet. Usual spot. Tonight at nine. If you...if you can, bring her back. She's special.'_

He was sure he'd stopped breathing. At the very least his heart had seized in his chest because everything felt frozen and empty.

Special. One word. Lance had managed to sum her up in one word.

She'd snuck into his life without even trying. She was nothing more than a means to an end at the beginning. A way to get information he had no other way of getting. And she'd seen right through him from the start. The cold, in control, calculated man who had returned from the island should have recognized the danger then and retreated. He should have never gone back to her. She was on to him the minute he'd walked into her office with that laptop.

Instead he went back. Again and again, each lie getting looser and more weak until they were both agreeing to ignore his pathetic attempts without saying a word. And somehow through the lies they built a trust.

Something made him go back to her. Something made him be honest with her when he couldn't do the same with anyone else. Something made him turn to her and reveal his secret when he needed help.

She was special.

And now she was everything. She propped him up and kept him going. She'd brought him back, quite literally. She'd melded into every area of his life and he couldn't imagine what his world would look like without her.

Except that possibility was staring him in the face and he had one more person looking to him to fix this and he had no idea where to start. They kept running into dead end after dead end.

The fist that held her phone pressed hard into his forehead as he felt the anger build.

"Oliver-"

Digg's voice had a quality to it he'd never heard before and Oliver's head snapped up to see his partner frozen in the center of the foyer, body braced for an attack, except he didn't seem to expect it to be a physical one.

It took Oliver a second to realize what he must look like, half collapsed on the steps, phone clutched in his hand.

"Lance called...he called her phone. Wants to meet with  _him_." he spat out as he stood, barely noticing as Digg's posture visibly relaxed. "I don't know what he thinks I can do. I can't do a damn thing except wait, which isn't doing anyone any good. It's sure as hell not bringing her back! Nothing is! We're at forty-two hours and we've got nothing! They've vanished and no one knows a thing." his pulse and breathing were reaching levels he knew weren't good, but none of that seemed to matter. His voice echoed up the stairwell, bouncing loudly off the dark wood panels and carrying down hallways.

The rage, and pain rose within him, past the point where he could control it and in a flash he'd turned and slammed a fist into the wall next to him with a great roar.

His knuckles punched through wallpaper and drywall, tearing a hole twice the size of his hand and when he pulled back dust and bits of paper fluttered to the floor. All that could be heard were his ragged breaths as he let his head rest against the wall, eyes burning with tears he refused to let fall.

Digg didn't say a word and a door shutting upstairs finally made Oliver move. He wiped the back of his scraped hand along the leg of his pants as he made his way up the steps.

Thea was standing in the middle of the upper hall, hair mussed, with a robe hanging loosely off her shoulders. "Ollie!" she cried when she saw him, biting her lip in worry as she approached.

But he couldn't accept any comfort just then. His blood still pounded through his veins and his nerves were like live wires. He raised one hand to hold her off. "Not right now, Speedy. Please."

Her gasp coupled with the way her face fell cut him like a knife as he walked past her and entered his room letting himself fall back against the shut door with a thud.

He wanted to hit something else. Again and again. Let his mind go blank and let all his training take over where nothing but instinct and raw brutality could take over. That he understood. That was simple compared to the overwhelming emotions he was trying to process. Emotions he was trying to process without her there to help him.

The first few steps from the door to the desk were hard. When he reached the computers he sat her phone down and stared at the screens. It was the same information that had been there hours earlier. No alerts to let him know there had been a hit on facial recognition or any of the other data mining programs that had been left running.

His hands tightened on the back of the chair and when he looked down he spotted them. Pushed off to the side, but still in the eye-line of anyone sitting at the desk he saw a slim black case, open, and inside rested her glasses.

All the anger exited him with an exhale that left him light-headed as he sat in the seat. He could only stare at the familiar shape, the one item he associated with her above all else. Since the day he'd met her they'd been the same. Same frames, same color, same way she'd use her fingers to push the sides up whether they needed to be adjusted or not, a nervous tick he'd picked up on immediately.

Seeing them brought him a peace he hadn't expected. Slowly his heart slowed, his breaths calmed and he felt some of the tension ease from his shoulders and back. He gave himself a long moment to just focus on the glasses, to let that familiar object anchor him to her, wherever she was.

A glance to the clock let him know how quickly the minutes were vanishing. That forty-eight hour mark loomed over him like a massive shadow. He couldn't give up, because she never would. If their positions were reversed he knew she'd scoff at such a deadline.

Forty-eight hours or forty-eight days, he wouldn't abandon her. She was the exception. She'd always been exceptional and he knew if anyone could survive it would be her. She'd come through the other side. He had to believe that.

Almost reverently he reached out and touched the cool frames, remembering the last time he'd seen her wearing them in the car just before hell had visited them. Digg must have found them in the wreckage. There wasn't a scratch on them. He could only hope the same could be said for her when they found her.

Taking a deep breath he lowered the lid of the case and pushed it to the side before he turned his attention back to the screen.

For hours he worked without stopping. His mother and Thea let him be which only made him feel slightly guilty. Digg joined him at some point, dragging up a chair to work on the tablet, occasionally turning a screen his direction or pulling the keyboard over to check something. They didn't speak. Their focus was complete, their mission simple: get her back.

A knock on the door made him jerk his head to the right as Digg got up and let in one of the house staff carrying a tray. Oliver sat upright and scrubbed burning eyes, the always present ache in his head throbbing to life after being ignored for so long.

"Mrs. Queen insisted I bring up a lunch tray, sir." the girl said quietly and at the word 'lunch' Oliver was on his feet with a muffled curse, grabbing his jacket and phones off the desk.

A chill entered his blood, his gut twisting as he finally locked his gaze on Digg who was looking at him in concern.

"It's been forty-eight hours and we haven't heard from the F.B.I."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Part three of Oliver's pov. There are five parts in total.**

Oliver burst through the doors of the F.B.I's office with more force than necessary, his eyes searching for Agent Jackson in the sea of dark suits and blue polo shirts. He wanted answers. He needed to know why it was Monday afternoon, two days since she'd been taken and they had no idea where she was.

"Queen!" he vaguely heard a voice call above the din but he ignored it as he scanned the room.

A hand on his shoulder had him whipping his head to the side to see the worn face of Quentin Lance.

"Oliver!" he snapped quickly and with a rush of noise Oliver could suddenly hear and see what was happening around him.

Behind Lance were four agents all looking extremely serious, and with their hands resting on the butts of the weapons at their hips.

"You look like hell, son. Why don't we go get a cup of coffee and I'll bring you up to speed." Lance suggested, not once looking to the agents behind them,

Oliver swallowed thickly and nodded once before he allowed Lance to lead him through a maze of desks and makeshift offices until they found a spot that was relatively empty.

"Not a good idea to go bursting through the Feds space like a bull in a china shop. They tend to not like that." Lance admonished lightly as he gestured towards a chair before he made his way over to a nearby coffee pot.

Oliver sat down, elbows resting on his knees as he stared at the scrubbed linoleum floor, Digg coming to stand beside him. He almost jumped when a white styrofoam cup was pressed into his hands.

Lance dragged up another chair and offered it to Digg who refused. With a sigh Lance took the chair for himself and dropped into it like his bones were having a hard time keeping him upright.

The older man scrubbed a hand down his face and leaned forward before he spoke, although Oliver was certain he knew what he was going to say.

"There's nothing new to report on Ms. Smoak or Samuels. No new leads, no new intel."

It took everything within Oliver not to crush the cup he was holding, although he wasn't sure he would have even felt the hot liquid as it poured over his skin.

"But we do have something on the psychologist that vouched for Samuels and helped him with his release." there was a slight hopefulness in his voice that Oliver latched on to as his head shot up to look at the detective.

"We uh...we received a tip and seized his computers," something stirred in Oliver's chest at the knowledge that Lance was protecting Felicity. She had been the one to put together the info on the doctor and send it to Lance. "The bastard was into kiddie porn." Lance informed with a snarl, "Samuels must have found out and blackmailed him into helping him get out."

"But there's been no movement-" Oliver paused and caught himself, "I mean, I thought there had been no movement from him once he skipped town." Lance couldn't know he'd been continuing Felicity's searches on databases they had illegally gained access to.

Lance shook his head, "We weren't really looking for him. His actions were suspicious but his name hadn't been picked up buying any plane tickets or attempting to leave the country so the F.B.I hadn't been focused on him. Until now."

Oliver sat straighter in the chair, knowing Lance was about to tell him something he didn't know.

"He popped on facial recognition renting a car in Starling City early Saturday morning, except he was using an alias."

The news settled within him as his emotions rocketed from anger to elation to confusion.

"Were they with him?" Oliver choked out

Lance looked down sadly, "No, Howard was by himself in the video, but we've got the make and model of the car now. It was a two week rental and he paid in cash."

The hope that had been slowly filling him dropped hard and quick taking his breath with it. "Then they could be anywhere."

"The profiler thinks this lines up with his theory that Samuels is trying to take her back east to re-live the accident. They can't fly, he'll know they'll be caught. But driving gives them anonymity."

The thought of Felicity being trapped in a car somewhere between Starling and the east coast was almost too much for him to handle.

"It's been forty-eight hours," he blurted out, rising to his feet as he did because he hadn't meant to say that.

Lance sighed heavily but stayed in his seat, "I know what the stats say-"

Oliver paced the small space and then pivoted, "Jackson said the chances of finding her alive after forty-eight hours weren't good,"

"And I can show you just as many cases where the victim was found, perfectly well and alive days past that, even weeks and months in some cases." Lance rose then and crossed to stand right in front of him, "Even five years," he said pointedly making Oliver take a step back and rake shaky fingers through his hair.

"Do you think she's dead?" Lance asked suddenly

"No," Oliver replied without thinking, freezing as the quick exchange resonated with him,

"Good. I don't either. Hang on to that."

Oliver nodded mutely as Lance clapped a hand to his shoulder. "I'll track Jackson down, see if there's anything new. Now that we know he's using an alias they're searching everything to see if there's something that got missed,"

Half an hour later Jackson invited him into his office, but told him nothing that Lance hadn't already known. Oliver and Digg paced the lobby for another few hours as if their mere presence could somehow help facilitate her rescue.

Finally Digg convinced him to head out. A conference call from the team in Felicity's hometown was slated to happen later that day and Lance promised to let them know if anything came from it.

He shouldn't have been surprised when Digg pulled up behind Verdant and gave Oliver a pointed look. "I'll go grab something to eat and be back," he said as Oliver exited the car, pulling away before he could reply.

Walking into the lair for the first time since she'd been missing hit him like a sharp blow. His steps faltered as he made his way down the metal stairs, hand clutching tight to the rail as her empty chair came into view.

He'd been in the lair countless times without her there but this was different. The space she'd redesigned had always had a warmth to it, a comfort he didn't find in many places, but then, much like the mansion, it was cold and empty without her presence.

His hand ran along the top of her chair, still turned slightly to the side from the last time she'd exited it. The screens jumped to life with a touch of the keyboard and he saw a mirror image of the set up back at the mansion. But like all the times before there was still nothing new. Nothing to go on.

The hours at the F.B.I had left him feeling jumpy and on edge, something he wasn't used to, and with the only sound around him coming from the air vents and not from the familiar clatter of her fingers typing, he pushed away and stalked across the training mats, stripping his shirt off as he went.

When Digg returned Oliver was solely focused on the training dummy, the steady rhythm helping to calm the raw edges that were threatening to unravel as he tried his hardest to ignore her absence.

He was left alone, nothing reaching him as he lost himself in the repetition until his forearms were numb and his muscles burned, arms hanging limp at his side, as he drew ragged breath after ragged breath the room slowly coming into focus around him.

Digg was at the bank of computers, a bag of food off on a side table, still abiding by Felicity's rule of no food or drink within five feet of her equipment.

As he toweled off he was surprised to see how much time had passed. He only had a little over an hour before he was supposed to meet Lance.

The food was cold, and he didn't taste it. He only ate it because Digg leveled him with a look and he knew he needed it for fuel and nothing else.

"Anything?" he asked unnecessarily as he wiped his hands and threw the trash away, coming to stand at Digg's shoulder.

"Lance texted. The conference call got delayed...but other than that, nothing."

His hands clenched into fists, his head tilting to the side as he tried to keep himself calm. "I'm going to patrol before I meet with Lance. Go back to the mansion if you want. Or home, Digg, go home."

The only indication he had that Digg took affront to his attempt to send him home was the way his jaw ticked and the fact that he wouldn't look at Oliver. "Want me on the comms?" he offered,

"No!" Oliver bit out before he could even really process what had been said. He didn't want anyone on the comms other than Felicity. Her voice was the only voice he wanted in his ear. To have the link to the lair and not be able to say 'Talk to me, Felicity' might be more than he could handle.

An hour later the streets of Starling were down a few random thugs who were more worse for wear than he usually would have left them, but it had done nothing to help loosen the icy fist around his gut that only seemed to get tighter with every passing minute.

Lance was already there when Oliver shot a zip-line over to the rooftop where they met. The detective was still in plainclothes, his hair more rumpled than it typically looked and he didn't appear as if he'd slept more than Digg or Oliver had.

"We got nothing," Lance said immediately with no lead in, his tone rough and more gravelly than usual. "So once again I'm turning to the one guy in the city who seems to have all the resources even though it goes against almost everything I stand for as a cop. But I figure you actually have a dog in this fight.  _Your_  girl's been missing for two days now, so what do you got?"

The accusatory, angry nature of his words made Oliver step back, physically trying to avoid the attack.

"I'm working with the same information you are, Detective," Oliver returned as soon as he was able to speak. Guilt swamped over him, leaving his head reeling at the idea that Lance thought he should be able to find her. Because he was right. Oliver should be able to find her.

Lance barked out a scoffing laugh at that, "Right? I've seen what you can do. I know what you've done in the past, and you're telling me you can't find one pretty, blonde girl?"

"It's more complicated than that,"

"Is it? I get this has nothing to do with you and your...mission, whatever that is, but I've seen what that girl does for you, the risks she takes...she's already in a high profile job and yet she still finds time to work for you and this crusade you're on. I think you owe her."

"I do owe her! I owe her everything!" Oliver roared back, vision blanking on the edges as his hand clenched so tight around his bow he could feel it creak. He wanted to rage more. To scream until his throat ached about how he was doing nothing but trying to find her. But somewhere in the back of his mind a voice crept in and reminded him that he couldn't show Lance his true reaction. Oliver Queen could be that upset about the woman he loved, but not the Arrow.

Lance nodded once, wiping a hand down his face before he stuffed his fists in his pocket, "I believe that. I just...I meant what I said earlier, she's special." his voice had become quieter, some of the fire leeching away, shoulders slumping forward as he moved only slightly closer,

Oliver made a noise of agreement, not trusting his words wouldn't give him away just then.

"She uh...she snuck in when I wasn't paying attention you know. All big eyes, and bright smiles...she's the last person in the world you'd think would hook up with the likes of you. And somehow I went from bringing her in for questioning to looking after her like she was one of my own."

He looked off into the city, eyes seeing further than the buildings before him, "I've already lost one daughter...I can't...I know she's not mine but…"

Oliver's throat was tight with emotion he couldn't shed just then. Felicity had done what she'd done with everyone she met. She drew them in. She made them care.

He didn't need the reminder that he was the reason Lance had lost Sara and could lose Felicity too.

With a great inhale he swallowed it down and shoved it deep inside where he didn't have to deal with it just then. "How are you working with the F.B.I? I didn't think they appreciated the help of local law enforcement," his all too obvious change of topic was deliberate.

Lance let out a half a chuckle, "Yeah, they don't. But I offered my services. Told them I'd do my best to keep Oliver Queen out of their hair if they let me help."

He paused for a long moment before he continued, "And the agent in charge has a daughter her age so...he gets it," Lance offered almost as an afterthought, but the way he said it led Oliver to believe it was most likely the primary reason for why he'd been allowed to work with them.

"I don't have any answers, Detective, but I'm doing everything I can to find her," Oliver said, thankful the modulator didn't transmit the break in his voice as he spoke, "But she...The best person to find Felicity is Felicity."

Lance opened his mouth to speak and then let it fall shut again, sighing. "Yeah...I get that. I'll send her... you... I'll send you some of the latest stuff but it's not much."

He didn't sound like the tough, hardened cop any longer, now he just sounded like a man who had seen how cases like this could end, and what he had seen wasn't good. The man who had assured Oliver earlier in the day to not lose hope didn't seem as if he had any just then.

Shame, guilt, dread...they'd all taken up residence inside Oliver's chest, pushing away air and all sense of normality, leaving nothing but a thick black void that was slowly expanding. It creeped through him and muddled his thoughts as he stared at the half-broken man before him, knowing he could be responsible for breaking him once again.

Where would that leave Quentin Lance.

Where would it leave Oliver.

Without a word he snatched an arrow from his quiver and fired it back across the rooftops, disappearing into the night before Lance could say another word.

Oliver didn't recall how he made it back to the lair. He could have been spotted, could have been jumped and he would have never seen it coming. Digg was on his feet as soon as he threw the bow down, not bothering to put it back in the case.

"Check her phone, Lance is sending more files," he said, voice monotone and flat as he headed for the shower. "I'll get myself back,"

He took the long way to the mansion, the roar of the Dukati under him doing nothing to help settle his thoughts. The house was dark and quiet when he entered and had made it halfway up the stairs when he paused and turned around.

His steps led him back to the front parlor and the drink cart that held the scotch. The first pour went down like glass making him grimace. The second just burned a trail of fire all the way to his stomach, doing nothing to thaw the knot that had taken up residence inside him.

Lance's accusations had hit him harder than he expected. He knew the man was hurting and worried and lashing out at the Arrow was easy. But Oliver didn't know how much more he could handle.

He hadn't felt this out of control, this lost since the Gambit had gone down. Felicity kept him even, she balanced him, without her he had no equilibrium.

It had been building for days. For over a week really. Ever since he'd looked up from his desk to see Felicity spilling papers all over the office floor as she spotted Samuels for the first time in seven years. That moment had changed everything. Their world had tilted on its axis and it hadn't stopped.

But now he didn't know which end up was up. He was helpless, hopeless, and those were feelings so foreign to him he was almost surprised he'd been capable of having them. Even when he'd gone up against Merlyn he'd known, he'd been resolute, content with his decision even if it led to his death.

Desperation, and grief, and anger warred. The battle was spiraling out of control until he couldn't see and he couldn't breathe, and the darkness threatened to fill his veins. His grip tightened on the glass in his hand, and when it all boiled over all he could do was turn and aim for the fireplace.

The crystal crashing into the darkened bricks wasn't enough, it only made him angrier, and with his heart thundering and blood rushing he turned to the metal drink cart and upended it with a barely muffled scream.

Clear and amber colored liquors mixed as they slowly seeped into the persian rug and spilled onto the hardwood floors. The broken decanters caught the faint light, glittering like diamonds as he stood over it all, hands clenched at his sides, chest heaving.

Oliver stumbled backwards as his breaths became more ragged. He couldn't take a full breath, spots dancing in his vision that had already narrowed down to only what was in front of him. When his back hit the wooden frame of the doorway he gave in and sank to the floor his head coming to rest in hands as the first tears fell.

Since he'd woken up in the hospital and found out she was missing he'd been pushing this down, tucking it away, and doing his best to ignore the grief, and the loss but he couldn't do it any longer.

Soft, cold hands closed over his and for a second...god, for one split second he thought it was her. Until he heard the half mumbled 'Ollie' and his heart restarted with a pang as he heard his sister's voice.

Head still bowed, heels of his hands pressed into his forehead, he didn't move. Thea's fingers tightened over his and he felt one hand coast over his hair.

"Ollie…" she began and he tried to pull back, not wanting to talk, but she didn't let go. "What happened? Did the F.B.I call?"

She was scared he'd heard the worst, he could hear it in her voice.

All he could do was shake his head 'no' as her relieved exhale filled the air around them.

"Then what is it? Talk to me, Ollie, I know you don't...do that but...I want to help. I'm so sorry this happened. It's not right and it's not fair, but you're killing yourself! You're not eating, and you're not sleeping, and you should probably still be in the hospital, but you're not. Instead you and Mr. Diggle are up all hours of the night trying to...I don't even know. I don't know what you think you can do that the F.B.I can't, but I understand you feel like you have to do something. But she wouldn't want you to do this to yourself!"

At the mention of Felicity his head snapped up, wet eyes feeling the coolness of the room as he looked at his sister for the first time as she knelt in front of him. "She is supposed to be  _here_. I don't know how to do this without her, I...can't do it...anything, I don't want to." once the words had started he found he couldn't stop, "If she's...god, Thea, if she's gone-" his voice broke as the thought caught in his throat and he found himself unable to complete the sentence.

She shifted next to him, arm slipping under his to curl around his bicep so she could hug him to her as best she could. "You can't think like that," she said almost fiercely, "Ollie, listen to me. I don't know Felicity that well, but I can see what she means to you, and I can see what she does for you. She's brought you back. You let her in, when you wouldn't or couldn't let anyone else in, you let her in." There was no trace of bitterness in her tone, "So even though I don't really know her I do know she's got to be one strong woman. You couldn't have made it easy for her and she still didn't give up. You have to believe she's not giving up now. So wherever she is, she's fighting and she's doing whatever she can to get back to you. Because the one thing I do know is that girl is as much in love with you as you are with her."

"I do...I am," he admitted out loud for the first time, "And I know I'm no good for her but...she makes me better, she helps fill the holes the island left and...I can't lose her." the hot sting behind his eyes of fresh tears took him by surprise and Thea didn't say anything, just wrapped an arm around his shoulders and tugged him sideways until his head came to rest against hers.

She shushed him gently until his shoulders stopped shaking and then they just sat in silence, the dark enveloping them.

He didn't know how long they sat there before Thea finally moved, "Come on, big guy, my butt's falling asleep, and I know your head has to be killing you." she said as she slid sideways and climbed to her feet, both hands grasping one of his as she tugged upwards.

Slowly and reluctantly he let her pull him upright, the change in position sending a vicious throb through his skull that made him grimace. Thea gave him a knowing look and led him to the nearest couch.

His eyes cut over the mess he'd made earlier. All the anger and frustration and rage he'd felt was gone, leaving him feeling hollow and empty, and he honestly wasn't sure which was better.

"I can't, I need to clean that up." he protested,

"I'll get it." she assured him as she shoved down on his shoulders and made him sit. "Just rest, okay? I'd send you to bed, but I doubt you'd sleep."

He let his head fall against the winged corner with a sigh and shut his eyes. She was probably right. "Thanks, Speedy," he said softly and her hands squeezed his once before she moved away.

For awhile all he could hear was the faint sounds of glass clinking as she collected the remnants of his explosion. The sounds became easier and easier to tune out until they faded away altogether.

He woke up to Diggle calling his name and faint light trying to seep its way around the edges of the heavy drapes in the front parlor.

Oliver sat up, blinking heavy eyes to see his partner standing by the half open pocket door Thea must have closed up on her way out. One hand held car keys, the other had Oliver's leather jacket.

"There's a lead," he said without preamble and Oliver was on his feet, half jogging to meet him, taking the jacket as they turned and made their way to the front door. "Lance just called. Dr. Howard was picked up renting another car at an airport a couple of hours from here. Local P.D has followed him to an extended stay hotel where he was seen entering a room."

"What about-"

"There's been no sighting of Felicity or Samuels but…" Digg didn't need to finish, right then Howard was the only connection they had and it could be it was the break they were waiting for. "Lance said as long as you hang back and promise not to get involved you can go."

Oliver just nodded as they climbed in the car, if this got him Felicity back he'd do anything.

Digg filled him in on the little they had been given as he drove. Facial recognition picked Howard up as soon as the counter had opened that morning. There was no indication as to how he had arrived at the airport, and the rental car he'd gotten in Starling hadn't been found.

Once again he'd taken a two week rental, non-descript car, and paid in cash.

"Cops didn't see anyone else enter or exit the car or the room," Digg's voice held a warning for him to not get his hopes up. But it was the first real hit they'd had since this started, and as cautious as he knew he should be he couldn't help the way his heart raced just a bit faster at the thought that this could all be over soon. In just a few hours times he could be holding her.

They rode the rest of the way in almost complete silence. Nothing needed to be said. They both knew what the outcome of this could bring and all they could do was see it out.

The hotel was part of a large chain, the sort traveling business professionals used when they'd be in a different city for a week or two at a time. One half of the 'T' shaped building was blocked off with the F.B.I's mobile vans and black SUVs.

Digg pulled off to the side and Oliver spotted Lance near the back.

"Anything?" Oliver asked when he reached the detective's side, not bothering with any sort of greeting. His words from the night before still rang in his head, the fact that they were potentially standing in front of the break they'd been waiting for doing nothing to ease the guilt Oliver still felt at not being the one to find her.

"A unit is about to enter the room. Front desk says Howard checked in by himself yesterday afternoon using the same alias as before and no one's seen him with anyone matching Ms. Smoak or Samuels description, but they're pulling the security tapes now."

The three men stood behind the barricade and watched as a five man until in full combat gear ran silently up the staircase to the second level. Oliver's gut clenched as he took in the automatic weapons, and tear gas canisters they were apparently willing to deploy, and the chance of Felicity being in that room and being caught in the crossfire scared him.

He must have moved because Digg's strong grip clamped on his forearm was suddenly keeping him in place. He wanted to run. To scramble up the side of the building, knock through the door with his bow drawn and end it all.

But he couldn't. He was forced to pace the sidelines as horrible images flashed through his mind of what they might find behind that door.

Then it was being busted down and none of them breathed as the team entered the room.

He wouldn't have been able to say how long they waited, but when the team emerged with Howard in handcuffs and Oliver heard them yell 'All clear' he was certain his heart had stopped beating. One by one they filed out until everyone that had gone in had come out and the door was shut firmly behind them, one man standing guard as the rest made their way back down.

"No," he breathed out, "Where is she?"

"Oliver...there was no indication she was with Howard…" Lance began, trying to ease him into the idea that she wasn't there, but one look is all it took to know that Lance had been hoping for the same miracle and had been waiting for her to walk out of that room as well.

The tight, twisting feeling in his chest he'd felt the night before grew again, and the rush of blood in his head blocked out the words he knew Digg was saying.

Oliver's gaze latched onto Howard as he was led across the parking lot and before anyone could stop him Oliver had hopped the barricade and erased the distance between them in a few long strides.

He didn't stop as he pushed past the agents. He ignored the shouts and the weapons that were drawn, and the danger to himself. His only focus was on the man who could give him answers.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" he roared as he grabbed Howard by the front of his shirt and lifted him off his feet. Oliver never felt the hands on him. Not Digg trying to pull him back or the other two agents pushing between him and Howard.

"Get him into the van!" a voice shouted as Howard was dragged away and then Jackson was in Oliver's face, "You need to stand down, Mr. Queen! Let us do our job!"

"Come on, Oliver," Digg said, strong arm still braced across Oliver's chest as he tried to walk him backwards.

"Lance! Keep him on a leash or you're both out of here!" Jackson ordered before he turned his back and followed after Howard.

Lance let out a frustrated sigh and dropped a hand to his shoulder, "Come on, son-"

Oliver shook him and Digg off angrily and spun on his heels, both hands coming up to run over his head as he crossed back over the barricade and leaned against the hood of the car, willing to wait as long as he had to.

They waited for hours. Lance left a few times to get an update but always came back shaking his head. All he'd been able to find out for certain was that no one else was in the room with Howard nor did it seem as if anyone had ever been with him. Their lead was growing colder by the second and the flare of hope Oliver had felt earlier was fading quickly.

Late afternoon Jackson emerged from the van and motioned for them to follow him. They crowded into a mobile unit as Jackson sank into the only chair available.

"We got it all. He admitted Samuels blackmailed him. Got him to falsify the medical records to reflect that Samuels was improving. He was also instructed to obtain a fake I.D and what to do after Samuels was released from the facility. If he complied then Samuels would stay quiet and not turn him in." Jackson began and Oliver was once again amazed by the level of planning Samuels had gone into to set everything into motion.

"Howard flew into Starling last Friday. He said it was a last minute call from Samuels. Told him he needed to fly out, rent a car for him under the false name and then lie low for a few days before he could leave. Howard says he never actually had contact with the suspect. He dumped the car in a parking lot and took a bus back to a hotel in Starling where he stayed until yesterday."

For a long moment there was silence, no sound but the muffled noises from outside and the slight rumble of the engine running.

"Felicity...she…"

"I'm sorry Mr. Queen, other than some basic knowledge as the girl Samuels had been obsessed with before he got admitted, Howard had no idea who she was. He didn't even know she lived in Starling City until he'd seen news reports from last week."

"So we're back to where we were. Samuels is still a ghost and Felicity is…"

"I'm sorry, I wish I had better news for you. We'll take him back, question him again. He did say in his professional opinion, for whatever thats worth, but he did say he wouldn't be surprised if Samuels was taking her back east to re-live what happened to his girlfriend."

Oliver felt the air rush from his chest as he leaned against the wall. The idea of her stuck in a car with Samuels halfway across the country left him with a feeling of dread he knew he wouldn't be able to shake.

"I know things look bad, Mr. Queen, but the fact that Samuels put so much care and planning into this is a good thing. He's not rushing, he's willing to take his time. And right now he has no reason to think anyone is after him. He'll slip up, and when he does we'll catch him." Jackson had stood, looking him in the eye as he spoke and Oliver knew he should be able to find some comfort in his words, but they just sounded forced and hollow.

"Agent Jackson, if there is anything I can do...any resources I can provide, equipment that needs to be purchased...I'm willing to do whatever is necessary to bring her home safe," Oliver didn't believe they had anyone on their team as good as Felicity, but if he could help pad their chances of finding her he would.

Jackson's eyes dropped and when he looked back Oliver could see the man beneath the agent, "Thank you, Mr. Queen, I'll keep that in mind."

They filed out of the van silently, Lance following them back to their car.

"Don't give up hope. Howard may have more to share, and there's an APB out on the first car Howard rented. Every cop between here and the Atlantic is looking for it."

All Oliver could do was nod as he climbed numbly into the car. Four days, one lead, and it had vanished as quick as it had come leaving them with a wasted day and no closer to finding her.

"See you back in Starling," he heard Lance say as Digg crossed in front. The detective rapped his knuckles twice on the roof before he slowly headed for his own car.

The sun was almost set as they headed back to the city, and the car was filled with everything not being said. It was Tuesday night. She'd been gone for four days. And they didn't know where in the hell she was.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Part four of Oliver's pov. There are five parts in total**

Christopher Monroe was buried on Thursday. He received full military honors: flag draped coffin, twenty-one gun salute, and taps being played by a lone bugler. Oliver didn't attend. He'd wanted to. He'd known that Felicity would have wanted to be there but Oliver didn't want his presence to detract from the service. Digg had gone in his uniform and Oliver had made sure everything was paid for. And when he found out Monroe had a four year old niece he was helping to support he made sure she wouldn't need to worry about her future. It was truly the least he could do.

The days dragged by, each passing hour with no new information and no word on where she was felt like a stab to his heart and by the time Saturday had come and it had been a week Oliver found that he was numb.

He'd been putting on the hood more, or training. The searches, and scans he left to Digg, unable to sit still long enough to be effective in front of the computers. It all just reminded him of her. If he kept moving it helped. If he got to put the fear of god into some thugs and leave them battered and bloody for the SCPD it helped a little bit more. But nothing could ease the ache that had seemed to take up a permanent residence inside his chest.

Her mother had been quiet until Wednesday. Then there had been calls and texts sent almost continuously. The F.B.I wouldn't leave Nate's parents alone but no one knew why. Oliver had been forced to make up a story about how Felicity was knee deep in the middle of dealing with a merger and she'd call when she could.

Much like the glass of scotch, the phone was thrown across the lair, shattering unsatisfactorily against a concrete pillar. Digg hadn't said a word, just ordered a new phone with all the same settings.

Thursday, while Digg was at the funeral Oliver finally gathered up the courage to go into the office. His mother had been asking him to stop by for two days, there were papers that needed his signature and he had been putting it off.

The tie around his neck felt like a noose and although he knew he should be greeting other employees and behaving like the CEO he set his eyes straight ahead, boarded the executive elevator and didn't say a word.

Their offices were dark and his breath caught as he slowly approached Felicity's desk. He'd automatically gone to their floor, not even considering his mother would be working out of a different office.

For the longest time he just stared. He often caught himself looking at her through the glass walls during the day. She was always a bright spot of color and animation, guaranteed to calm him and remind him of the good things even when he didn't know thats what he needed. But the drawn blinds and dimmed lights just made the space look grey and dreary like all the life had been leached from it.

His mother found him, hands in his pockets, just staring at her desk. He let her lead him away where he silently signed the papers she put before him, not even asking what they were for. He stiffly accepted her hug and left without looking back.

Saturday was the worst. He and Digg didn't say more than two words to each other the majority of the day. There was rumblings on the street that the Triad was attempting to re-establish their base in Starling and Oliver almost welcomed the distraction.

But that night as he suited up and strapped on his quiver his eyes crossed the worn wooden crate he'd dragged back from the island.

He could feel Digg's eyes on him as he opened the lid and stared inside. Near the bottom was one of the copies of the notebook he'd brought with him. He hadn't touched it since the Undertaking even though he still had every name memorized.

His hand hovered over the slim book, hesitating. But it had been a week. A week and there was nothing to go on. Any hope he had was now so faint he didn't even know if it still existed. Instead of waiting for a call that said there was a new lead he was now waiting for the call that said they'd found her body.

"You sure you want to do that?" Digg's voice cut through the lair just as Oliver's hand wrapped around the notebook.

His eyes squeezed shut as he gripped the book tight, head tilting to the side in frustration. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want John to try and convince him to find another way, to not give up. He was at the end of his rope and drowning and the only one who had known how to throw him a lifeline wasn't there to throw it.

He was braced for the lecture. For the speech that was sure to come about how pissed she'd be if she knew what he was contemplating. How she'd waited for him for five months, so he could surely give her more than seven days. How this was Felicity Smoak they were dealing with and she was smart and resourceful and they couldn't underestimate her.

The silence was long and he could hear Digg get up from her chair. But instead of coming to his side the other man was halfway to the stairs when he finally did speak.

"She's not dead yet, Oliver. So pull her out of the fucking coffin." his usual calm demeanor had snapped, and all there was to be heard was anger, and disappointment, and then the slamming of the door as he left.

Oliver stood staring at the book as he fought for control, fought to find the last scrap of strength and willpower he had to put it back and shut the lid.

He patrolled for hours that night. The names of the people in the book cycling through his mind as he roamed the alleys and rooftops, never stepping out of the shadows. Once he almost cracked. He knew how easy it would be to find one of them, sneak in undetected, and growl the familiar phrase once again before he put an arrow through their throat.

An image of Felicity looking at him sadly, shaking her head as she walked away filled his vision and he knew he couldn't. She'd forgive him, he knew that, she might even understand, but a part of her would always have expected more from him, and ever since she'd entered his life he'd expected more of himself.

He spent the last hour sitting on a rooftop watching the city, looking into the blackness and wondering if she was there, if she'd been there all along or if she was so far gone he'd never find her. It was the sharp pain in his side as he took a shuddering breath that made him get up and finally move.

When he stumbled back into the darkened lair to patch up his own injuries it was later than he had thought. The bruised ribs and blow he took to his shoulder was going to leave a mark. As he collapsed on the couch with ice packs placed strategically he couldn't help how his thoughts strayed to her. He hoped she was unhurt, and as safe as she could be. He wouldn't let himself go any further. As much as he was expecting the worst, right then, at those moments before he allowed himself to try and rest he couldn't give in. Digg's words rang in his head, and he fell asleep to 'She's not dead yet' playing over and over in his mind.

The repeated trilling of his phone and Digg's boots on the stairs made him pull his sore body off the couch after only a few hours of sleep. Digg tossed him the phone and a bag of food as he sat up, lukewarm ice packs falling to the floor with a plop as he tried not to grimace.

Oliver felt his stomach drop as the caller I.D showed Lance and he almost couldn't bring himself to answer, fearful of what he might hear.

"Detective?" he said hoarsely, causing Digg to freeze.

" _Wanted to give you a heads up, there's a chance we've found the car, the first one Howard rented that he turned over to Samuels. One matching the description was spotted a few hours from here in Oakdale. Plates aren't the same but the make and model are and it's a rental."_

"He could have switched the plates easily," Oliver finally got out, mind whirling at the chance she could be found,

" _Could have,"_  Lance replied before pausing, _"Look, Oliver...Jackson...he understands how invested you are but after what happened last time...If you show up at the scene he's going to have you arrested."_

The hand holding the phone fell away as Oliver rubbed his tired eyes and tried to control his breathing, "I don't know how he expects to keep a media blackout if he does that," he bit out with a growl, tired of the red tape and the lies.

" _Oliver...just...stay in Starling. It's a long shot, I'll be honest. Someone matching Samuels description was seen with the car but...brown hair, late twenties matches a lot of guys, doesn't mean its him."_

"Do you think she's even here?" It had been the question he'd been avoiding, but each day that had ended with nothing made him wonder if anyone was even looking in the right place.

Lance sighed, _"Honestly...I don't know. The profiler seems to be certain he's taken her back to their hometown but...if he has he's doing a damn good job hiding. There's been no contact with his parents or hers or any other family and friends. They've got units on every location associated with the girlfriend and there's been no movement."_

Oliver sank back into the couch, once again conflicted on whether staying in Starling City had been the right call. The last thing he wanted was to hear she'd been found and then have to wait hours to get to her.

" _Right now, I think there's still every chance she's nearby."_ Lance continued, but the silence that stretched between them over dead air held the words they weren't saying. What if she was already dead and Samuels was long gone?

"How far is Oakdale?" Oliver finally asked, purposely changing the subject,

" _Three hours in good traffic, we're leaving in ten. I wasn't supposed to even call you until we got there but...I trust you'll behave."_ he said evenly but with a warning to his tone,  _"I swear to you son, if she's there you'll be the first to know. You can get in your fancy chopper and be here before you know it."_

There was nothing left to be said and the sharp click of the call being ended rang in his ears for a long while.

Digg was waiting expectantly and Oliver filled him in as they ate.

"You going to go anyways?" Digg asked,

Suddenly the breakfast he'd been eating sat in his stomach like a rock and he shoved it aside. "I don't know. If...if she's there and I'm not...but if she's not...I don't know if I can do that again."

Digg nodded in understanding, "How about I call the hanger and have the plane fueled and ready, just in case?"

It was a compromise, and an olive branch after their exchange the night before, although Oliver recognized it wasn't Digg who should be taking the first step.

He opened his mouth to say...he wasn't sure what exactly but Digg held up a hand and stopped him. "Did another name get marked off the list last night?"

"No,"

The hand fell and Digg got up and made his way back to the computers, "That's all I needed to know,"

There was a new text on Felicity's phone from Lance. He'd emailed a file containing what they had on the new intel, and it held an admonishment for the Arrow. Lance suggested he stop trussing up the bottom feeders of Starling and focus on what was important.

Oliver had almost broken another phone when he read it.

Even though his ribs and shoulder burned in protest he knew the only way he'd get through the next three hour wait was to push through the pain as he trained. He was an hour into the salmon ladder and about to work on his target practice when Digg suddenly called him over.

He was standing at the large touch surface table, a map of the surrounding area pulled up. Oliver could see where Starling City was clearly marked, as well as Oakdale, but there was one more location even further out that Digg had circled and labeled.

"What's that?"

"Ashford," Digg replied, a lightness in his tone that hadn't been there in over a week,

Oliver crossed his arms and stood back, waiting for the explanation.

"Ashford, population around eight thousand. Small township about six hours from here." Digg said as he picked up a tablet and made a few taps.

Oliver was beginning to become angry. None of what he was saying was giving him any idea as to why he thought this small town was important.

"Ashford's main economy comes from a factory two towns over, it's basically a bedroom community surrounded by farmland. Typical American small town." sensing Oliver's rising ire he swiped his hand up on the tablet, throwing two images onto the screen in front of them, "So typical it even has a diner."

The image on the left was a roadside view of a quintessential diner, one level, awning out front, shabby paint job and a large sign that proclaimed 'Ashford Diner'. The image on the right was a picture of a half scorched take out menu also from the Ashford Diner.

"Look at the location on the menu," Digg suggested and Oliver realized with a start it wasn't the same one. He looked over at Digg, brows drawn together in confusion.

"That menu was in the backpack that Samuels left at the plaza, it's from their hometown. The name's the same. I was looking at the map, trying to get a feel for Oakdale and the name Ashford popped out at me. I knew I recognized it from somewhere."

Oliver stared at Digg half in shock as he processed what was being suggested, "You can't think…"

"All the tech isn't getting the job done! He's smart. He's stayed off the grid and it's been working! He also didn't go back home because he knew they'd be looking for him there. But this…" Digg said emphatically as he pointed at the screen, "This makes sense. He needs to re-live what happened, and this town with the same name gives him that chance. When she was going through the items in the backpack Felicity said she remembered that Nate and Jenny were supposed to go to the Ashford Diner the night he wrecked. They never made it. What if he's trying to make sure they make it this time."

Oliver took a few steps back as he raked both hands through his hair even though his eyes never left the small dot that said 'Ashford'.

"John…"his voice was low and desperate and half broken, the call from Lance had already sent his mind whirling with the possibility that she'd be found that day. To couple it with Digg's discovery left him reeling.

"I know, man. I know. But...it's the first real lead we've had. Samuels is too smart to get caught on a camera and he's got plenty of cash to keep him quiet for a long time. Every instinct I have is telling me that lead the F.B.I is chasing is a dead end and this is our shot to bring her home." it was the intensity in his eyes and the way his voice never wavered that had Oliver nodding before he even realized what he was doing.

"How far again?"

"Six hours, but I could probably get there in five,"

Oliver shook his head, "No, that's too long, we'll take the chopper." he said decisively, already moving to grab his jacket and phone,

"Choppers too conspicuous. The last thing we want to do is spook him. We wouldn't have a car when got there and we don't even know where he's holed up." Digg replied sensibly and it drew Oliver up short,

With a frustrated grunt he turned back, "Fine, but five hours and not a second more."

"You calling Lance?"

Oliver paused and considered it for a moment, "No, they're already halfway to Oakdale, and I doubt Jackson would divert for this. We'll do this, just us. If…" the hope bubbled so quick in his chest it made his heart clench and he had to shut his eyes tight before he could continue, "If she's there...we'll contact them."

"Fair enough," Digg said, grabbing an extra weapon from the locker and then they were taking the stairs two at a time.

When Digg pulled the Escalade out Oliver didn't say a word, "Bigger gas tank, won't need to stop,"

Soon enough they were flying down the interstate, the practically empty Sunday morning roads stretching ahead of them. Oliver knew it would be the longest five hours of his life, but every mile they put behind them made him hope just that much more. If she wasn't there...he didn't know if he'd come back from that.

Little was said as Digg barreled down the highway. Nothing needed to be said. They knew their mission: Bring her home, by any means necessary.

Two hours in he got a text from Lance saying local PD had lost the car before the F.B.I had arrived and they were setting up a temporary command center in Oakdale until they found it.

When he relayed the news to Digg he just shook his head and let out a huff of expected annoyance, "Because it's not them. Just some poor businessman who's about to have his world turned upside down when he's stopped by a SWAT team in full tactical gear."

Oliver turned the phone in his hands and stared out the window for a long moment, "You really think…"

"I wouldn't get your hopes up. I wouldn't get mine up but…" he sighed and shifted in his seat, hands tightening on the wheel before he continued, "In the Army everything was drilled into you. When to fire, when to take cover, when to advance. Every soldier was expected to react the same way every time. And that works. Most of the time. Except when it doesn't and you ignore the hairs on the back of your neck and theres a bullet finding its target before you can turn. I never ignored those feelings and it saved my ass more than once. And I know you work the same way."

Oliver dipped his chin once. He understood. On the island he'd had to use all his senses in addition to the repetitive training. Pinpoint accuracy didn't mean anything if someone could get the drop on him. He wouldn't know how to function without using his instincts.

"My instincts are telling me this is it."

"I trust you,"

It was just three words but it said everything he couldn't voice just then. He had to trust Digg, he had no choice. He had to trust that this was it, that by the end of the day he'd have her in his arms again. His very survival depended on this ending, and ending soon.

They continued on. No stopping for food, or bathroom breaks, the GPS map silently guiding them closer to their goal.

There was no more contact from Lance, but Oliver hadn't thought there would be. When they passed the exit that would take them to Oakdale he considered having Digg turn off, but only for the briefest of seconds. He trusted Digg, the connection to the other diner made sense, he had to have faith it was right.

For another hour they drove, Digg pushing the limits of how fast they could go without having to deal with a traffic stop. Another hour of trying to ignore the screen that told him how long until they reached their destination. Another hour before his phone rang and everything changed.

He looked down to see an unfamiliar number which made his brows draw together in confusion. There weren't many people who had his private line.

"Lance again?" Digg asked, as the phone rang again,

"No...I don't recognize the number," he replied, and by the third ring a wash of anger overtook him. He didn't have time for misdials, or god forbid the press.

"What?" he snapped into the phone, fully expecting a request for an interview. Instead there was silence and then a sound he'd never forget as long as he lived. A gasping sob that made a chill run up his spine and his breath catch in his throat. And then his name. Her voice saying his name.

Time didn't just still it came to a sudden grinding halt and nothing else around him existed. _She's alive. She's alive. She's alive._  It rolled through him, consuming everything in its path as the confirmation he'd so desperately needed was right there.

"Felicity?! Is that you?" the words were out of his mouth before he knew he was speaking, the questions pointless because he knew it was her. Every cell in his body was telling him it was her. "Are you okay? Where are you? Are you hurt?" he couldn't stop. He needed to know everything immediately.

Her voice was so thick with tears he could barely understand her,  _"Oh god, Oliver! I...don't have enough time."_

His heart dropped. She was still in danger. She hadn't gotten away from Samuels.

"Has he hurt you? Where are you?" his eyes burned at hearing her, knowing she was alive, knowing she was out there somewhere but not safe. Blood rushed through his head and left him almost dizzy at the shock of actually speaking to her.

The words spilled out of her, fast and desperate and he struggled to pay attention, _"I only have a minute. I'm in Ashford. It's a small town, I don't know where. There's a motel off the main road. Room twenty."_

As soon as she said Ashford his head fell into his hands. Digg was right. Digg was right. They didn't have to search any longer.

"We're on the way, Digg figured it out and we'll…" his eyes cut to the GPS to see how far they still were from Ashford, "dammit we're almost two hours away. I'll call the local police-"

Her frantic, panicky plea cut him off,  _"NO! You can't! Oliver...he's unstable, you don't...you don't understand and...he's got...oh god, he's got Monroe's gun. I think he killed him."_

She knew about Monroe. The twisting in his gut grew worse and he knew he made some sort of sound, something desperate tore from his chest at the thought of Samuels threatening her and the large SUV suddenly felt small and confining.

"Felicity…" her name emerged from his throat full of everything he couldn't say just then. Run. Stay safe. Don't get hurt. Please stay alive until I can get to you.

She was crying, he could hear her struggle for breath, and all he wanted was to be with her right then. He'd give away his fortune if it would get him to her faster.

" _Oliver I...I have to go now. I'm out of time. I'm sorry. He can't know I called…"_  she sounded small, and sadder than he'd ever heard her before, and he knew she didn't want to hang up.

"FELICITY! NO!" his vocal cords burned with the strain. She couldn't hang up. She couldn't leave him in the dark once again.

Her sobs broke him, his heart aching at her pain,  _"I'm sorry,"_ she whispered so softly he almost missed it,  _"I lo...I'm so sorry. Just hurry."_

"FELICITY!" he yelled again even though he'd heard the click,

His fist slammed into the dash with enough force to crack the plastic. The phone fell forgotten into his lap as he sat back and covered his face with his hands, palms feeling the wetness on his cheeks he didn't even know was there.

"Oliver!"

"She's alive. She's in Ashford. You were right." Oliver said without dropping his hands, "You were right,"

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know. She knows...she knows about Monroe. Samuels has his gun." Oliver relayed as he wiped his face and stared at the GPS screen once again, "They're at a motel in town, she said it was off the main road. Room twenty. She must have found a way to call, but she said she didn't have enough time…" he trailed off as his thoughts strayed to the worst. What if they were this close but got there too late?

Digg's jaw clenched but he didn't echo Oliver's thoughts even though it was obvious he shared them. "Call Lance, they'll be about an hour behind us if they leave now."

"I'm not waiting," Oliver said almost angrily,

"No chance in hell. We're getting her out." Digg agreed immediately, "But they still have to know,"

Lances phone rang twice before he picked up,  _"Look, Oliver I told you I'd call if we-"_

"She's alive!" Oliver stated, talking over the detective, "She's alive and she called me."

" _What?! Are you sure?"_

"She couldn't talk long. He's holding her at a motel in Ashford, it's about three hours from where you are now."

" _Queen, if this is some sort of wild goose chase…"_

"She is alive!"

There was a beat of silence before he replied,  _"Okay, I'll tell Jackson and we'll roll out. But don't you go and do anything stupid! You hear me? You wait until we get there."_

"I can't do that, Detective,"

Lance was sputtering out a protest as Oliver hung up.

"You were right, Digg," his voice was barely audible as he shut his eyes tight and tried to replay her words over in his head. Just to be able to hear her again after so long...he could feel a fresh sting of tears as he pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

Digg didn't say a word, his only reply was to push his foot down on the accelerator as their ETA steadily continued to shrink.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Part five of Oliver's pov. The final part.**

**The next new chapter after this will get back to the main TLT story line from Felicity's pov. Thanks for being so understanding as to why I came back to add these five chapters. I hope you enjoyed Oliver's pov for the week while she was missing.**

**Enjoy!**

It didn't take two hours for them to get to Ashford as Digg continued to push the limits of the road and the car, but even a second was too long for Oliver. The worry and anxiety inside him churned. They were so close. She was so close. There was no wasted talk between him and John, they both knew the stakes and they both knew what would happen if they failed.

There was a quick call made to the hanger to request for the pilot to fly ahead to Ashford. Oliver knew as soon as he had her he was going to want her back in Starling as quick as possible; hours in the car wasn't an option.

Half an hour out Digg reached behind his back and pulled out his backup weapon, silently handing it to Oliver. He checked it on instinct and let it lay against his thigh, eyes never leaving the screen that showed how close they now were.

When the motel came into view he felt his breath hitch and the grip he had on the gun grew tighter. Once again he wished for the familiar weight of his bow, but the gun would do, as well as his bare hands if necessary.

Digg pulled to a stop in front of the office and Oliver was out of the car before it had rocked back, his eyes already scanning the doors looking for the number twenty.

Normally at this point in a mission his mind would go blank, instinct and reaction time mixing with his training to allow him to do what he had to do. But right then all he could hear was Felicity's terrified voice on the phone. He'd never heard her that frightened before, and he vowed he'd never hear her like that again. His heart was beating quicker than it ever had, blood rushing in his head so fast he couldn't hear anything else and leaving his fingertips numb.

Digg was two steps behind him to his left, gun drawn as they ran down the cracked concrete walkway that stretched in front of the rooms. When they got to the end it only took one silent exchange before Oliver lifted his leg and kicked the door in violently.

The room was dimly lit, curtains drawn and no lights on when he entered, eyes scanning every inch of space but finding no movement as he shouted her name.

When he saw the bed and the two still bodies everything ground to a halt. His vision blanked for a moment as he tried to process what he was seeing. Samuels body was slumped, half resting against the bed to the right, an ever growing pool of blood surrounding him. Oliver dismissed him almost immediately as the gun fell limp to his side and took in a sight he had never wanted to witness.

Felicity lay just as still as Samuels, but her eyes were open and unseeing and the spread of blood over her left side where her arm was attached to the headboard by handcuffs stood out starkly even in the low light. Her hair was wrong. Not the bright, gleaming blonde that always caught his attention, now it was brown like his sister's. It was the final injustice, for Samuels to have taken something that was so quintessentially Felicity.

Rage and pain and guilt slammed into him so hard he knew he made a noise, something primal and deep that crawled out of his chest and echoed in the small space. He was frozen, unable to move or breathe or even begin to understand what had happened.

It was Digg brushing past him, weapon still drawn that propelled Oliver forward.

Feeling empty inside he took stumbling steps towards her, barely registering the fact that he had to step over Samuels to get to her. He slid the gun into the small of his back with shaking hands, legs threatening to give out as he got closer. As he neared her he could feel the ache in his chest grow until it threatened to consume him. She was pale, and too thin with bruises along her cheek and a split lip that looked fresh. He'd been too late. He'd promised to protect her and he'd failed.

Over a week of waiting, and wondering, and searching. Over a week of slowly sinking down into a hole so deep he didn't know if he'd ever be able to climb out, only to get her phone call a short time before. It was beyond cruel. To be so close and have it torn away so viciously.

He wasn't expecting her to blink. He'd been so sure she was dead, so sure he'd once again lost someone he loved. When her lashes fluttered shut for a split second he felt his heart lurch wildly, as he stared in amazement, almost not understanding what he had seen.

"Felicity!" he cried out, erasing the final two feet that separated them his hands coming forward to cup her face and feel for a pulse.

All the air left his lungs when he felt it, slow, and unsteady but there. She let out a great gasp and pulled back as she blinked furiously, fighting to focus on him. And when she whispered his name in confusion he gave a half-choking sob and dropped his forehead to hers, ragged breaths tearing from his lungs. His legs actually went numb for a moment, and all he could think was that she was alive. She hadn't died. He hadn't lost her.

"Felicity…" his voice was rough and strained and cracked on the last syllable as he felt a rush of heat behind his eyes. He pulled back enough to look at her again, taking in the blood staining her shirt and then looking down for any other injuries. It was then he saw the gun resting against her abdomen.

His stomach sank and the burn of bile raced up his throat as he knew without asking what she'd had to do.

"No…" it left his lips as an exhale. He never wanted that for her. He knew what it would do to her.

"Oliver...I killed him. I killed him Oliver…" she sounded weak and nothing like herself, "Oliver...I...I killed him. Oliver," he could feel her trembling under his hands and he wanted nothing more than to be able to reverse time in order to spare her from this.

"Shhh, don't think about that right now, okay. You're safe." he tried to force himself to sound as normal as possible and knew as soon as the words were out that he had failed.

A surge of anger filled him as his eyes landed on her outstretched arm, "He's got her chained to the bed, find the damn key!" he bit out to Digg, gaze never leaving Felicity.

When Digg crowded in the space next to him he forced himself to tramp down the red hot rage that was beginning to overtake his thoughts. The person he wanted to direct it at was dead, and all he could do now was help Felicity.

"What did that sick son of a bitch do to her?" Digg asked, voice hard as he took in her condition all the while working the key into the lock.

She cried out when her arm was released and suddenly all previous problems were pushed aside as he and Digg worked in tandem.

Oliver took the weight of her arm and laid it gently across her middle while Digg removed the gun and they shifted her down on the bed in order to get an idea of her injuries.

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks and he scrambled around the end of the bed to get out of Digg's way. "Felicity, look at me, focus on me okay?" he directed as Digg easily tore the fabric of the shirt away from her arm.

"Where are you hurt?" Oliver asked, hands cradling her face, thumbs brushing away the wetness he found as he tried to get her to answer. "Did he shoot you?"

Her head shook once, eyes glazed as she tried to look at him, "I don't know, maybe."

"Jesus," Digg whispered under his breath and Oliver looked up to see him turning her forearm over, a series of short and long cuts of various depths littered the pale skin from wrist to elbow.

"I did that," she said distractedly, her head following Oliver's line of sight, lolling to the side as if she didn't have the strength to control it, "I stole a knife. From the diner. I stole a knife and I hid it." her voice was becoming slurred and Oliver felt a spike of fear.

Digg's eyes shut tight for a second before he dropped a hand to her head. Felicity's lips pressed together as she raised her chin slightly and looked at him, "I had to kill him. I didn't want to but...I…"

"I know." he replied, the gravitas of those two words meaning more than anything else he could have said just then.

The air still around the three of them for a long moment until Digg moved again, trying to get a better look at her injury.

Oliver smoothed loose hair out of her face, trying to ignore how wrong the color looked on her. Her hand gripped the sleeve of his jacket as Digg manipulated her arm, and she sucked air between her teeth in a pained hiss.

"It was a bullet, but I can't tell if it's a graze of if it's still in there." he said as he stood back and turned towards the door. "Med kit is in the car, I'll get it and call Lance too...let him know. Local P.D should at least come secure the scene and send an ambulance."

"NO!" Felicity said sharply making both men look at her in surprise, "No, ambulance. No, hospital." she was almost frantic, her head shaking back and forth while she tried to pull herself upright with her good arm.

"Felicity…" he began but she turned wet, begging eyes on him and he knew he'd do anything she asked if she stopped looking so damn broken,

"Oliver, please," she mouthed, "Let Digg fix me. I want to go home. Please let me go home."

Unable to restrain himself any longer he let out a low growl and slid his arms under her, pulling her tight into his chest as he stood.

"We're not staying in here," he said decisively, taking long strides towards the door. Felicity let her head fall to his shoulder and he repressed a shudder. He wanted her home too. He wanted nothing more to walk out that door and to keep walking, never looking back. But she needed to be treated and they had to wait for the authorities to arrive. However, none of that kept him from wanting to just leave.

Digg moved past him, long legs eating up the distance to the car, and Oliver could already see him fishing his phone from his pocket to make the calls he wished weren't necessary. Bureaucracy and red-tape was not what he wanted to deal with.

The weight of her in his arms was all he had wanted, but now that he had it he almost couldn't let himself believe it was real. It felt like a dream, like a nightmare he expected to wake from where she was still missing.

He paused when he stepped outside, shifting his hold so the fading sun would be out of her face. However, when he looked down her eyes were closed and her face was slack. A bolt of fear shot through him as his heart seized in his chest.

"Felicity! Felicity, wake up! Don't do this! Wake up!"

She jumped, and shot awake, grimacing at the pain that moving her arm must have caused her, the wound bleeding freely again. When her eyes met his he let out a breath of relief and leaned over, kissing her forehead and then her temple, "I thought I'd lost you," he whispered into her skin, unable to keep his voice calm. "I need you to stay awake, okay, you'll be able to rest soon."

He didn't know how tired and exhausted she had to be. Hadn't allowed himself to think about everything she'd gone through, or what Samuels had done to her after she'd hung up the phone. One look at her was enough to make his vision cloud with a fury he could barely tramp down. But right then the only thing that mattered was her wellbeing, they'd deal with the rest when the time was right.

Her eyes grew glassy as she blinked slowly and he felt her hand fall from the hold she'd had on his jacket to lay limp across her middle. He saw her mouth move but no sound came out until she tried again, "I'm sorry...the sedative…" she swallowed hard before she could go on, "I didn't get much but…"

"Sedative? What sedative?" he demanded, looking up quickly to see the back of the Escalade opened with Digg behind the doors, when he looked back her eyes were shut again and her head was falling to the side, "Felicity, open your eyes!"

"He kept me drugged," she said slowly, like each letter was an effort, "For days...I don't know how long," She licked her lips and tried to keep talking, "We fought...he got me in the shoulder...I'm sorry,"

Her body went completely limp in his arms and he was cutting across the parking lot towards Digg, calling his name as he hurried.

"The bastard was keeping her drugged," he spit out when he was close enough, barely keeping a handle on his emotions, "She said he dosed her again when they were fighting and then she passed out,"

Digg quickly put down the supplies he had gathered and checked her pulse and eyes, "She's okay from what I can tell. Just sleeping, which probably isn't a bad thing since I have to clean that wound."

The man cut an appraising look over him and motioned to the open cargo area, "Have a seat and let me get to work,"

If Oliver noticed that Digg never suggested he relinquish his hold on Felicity he didn't say a word.

He sat heavily, adjusting her so she was rolled more towards him, her legs resting next to him in the back of the SUV. With his right hand now free he brushed her hair out of the way and pulled up the sleeve of the t-shirt she wore, getting a good look at her wound for the first time.

It looked more like a long gash he was glad to see, almost three inches in length and deep enough he knew she'd need stitches. The cuts along her forearm made his stomach turn as he rubbed his thumb over the inside of her wrist, the feel of her heart beat thrumming steadily under his touch helping to settle him some.

"I called Lance, he says they're about twenty minutes out and Jackson has put a call into the local PD. They've dispatched an ambulance, but it's got to come from the next county over." Digg said as he draped a blanket over her.

Oliver's head shot up and he glared, "She's not going to the hospital. At least not here." he protested,

Digg looked at him hard, "I heard what she said in the room, and I understand how she feels. I don't think she needs to here. She looks like she's dehydrated, and in need of a good meal and some rest, but other than her arm everything else seems fine. But she's going to need to be seen by someone." he turned his attention back to the wound, letting Oliver mull over what he'd said.

Logically he knew it made sense, however, it didn't match with what his instincts were telling him to do, which was leave, immediately. He had her back now, he wanted it all to be over.

For a long beat they were quiet as Digg worked, Oliver trying to ignore the way the alcohol ran pink after it was poured over her arm.

"Had a text from the pilot," Digg supplied as he capped the bottle and set it aside. "He's at a small airstrip a few miles away."

Oliver nodded, "Good, I want to get out of here as soon as possible."

Digg sighed and paused as he readied the suture kit, "You know they're going to want to talk to her."

Oliver's jaw tightened and he forced himself to run his fingers along her cheek instead of clenching them into fists like he wanted to. "If she wakes up and agrees to it she can give a brief statement, but I will not let them put her through hours of an interrogation."

Digg grunted an agreement and focused on his work. They weren't in the ideal situation for sewing up a wound, but Oliver knew she'd only want Digg doing it.

He worked quickly and efficiently, putting in a row of tiny stitches. "The ones in her leg were probably ready to come out a few days ago." he said absently,

Oliver scrubbed his hand over his face and let out a long breath. The bombing at the office seemed so far away it almost seemed surreal. "What the hell has he done with her for a week!" he said in a harsh, angry hiss, "A week! Have they been here the entire time? He kept her sedated, barely fed her from how much weight she's lost…" his chest was growing tight as the need to lash out and seek vengeance tried to take over.

Digg paused and looked at him hard, "There will be a time and a place to work through all of this, man, but it's not right now. She survived. She did what she had to do and she survived. The hard part now will be keeping her in one piece once all of that registers with her."

Oliver nodded stiffly, and directed his gaze back to her face.

In the distance sirens could be heard and Digg shook his head sardonically as he tied off the last stitch. "Here comes the cavalry. Probably the most exciting thing to happen in this town in a decade." he taped a gauze square in place and quickly cleaned the smaller cuts, "These aren't that deep." he said as he handed Oliver smaller adhesive bandages for the ones that needed to be covered, "Take care of that while I take care of them,"

Over his shoulder Oliver could see two sheriff's cars skidding to a stop behind and next to them.

Felicity didn't so much as stir at the noise, and he was forced to agree with Digg he was grateful she'd slept through the treatment. He kept his attention on her, carefully placing the bandages to protect the worst of the cuts. He couldn't imagine what had been going through her head when she'd grabbed the knife and concealed it in her sleeve. How she had to have felt it cutting into her, but left it there until she had a chance to use it. She amazed him. He'd known she was strong. He'd known she was tough. But what she'd gone through...what she'd done...it just made him more certain how lucky he was to have her in his life.

He'd barely been paying attention to Digg, who was surrounded by the Sheriff and his deputies, but he did hear "Mr. Queen" get bandied about more than once and in this instance had no problem with his name and notoriety being used for their advantage.

Digg and the Sheriff nodded as they passed by the back of the Escalade, but no one approached him. He turned his head and watched as Digg lead them to the room and stood outside as the Sheriff stepped in.

Oliver didn't so much as shift even though his legs were beginning to tingle from how he sat in the back of the cargo area. Occasionally he would move to touch her face, or her neck, or her leg, as if he had to make contact with her to remind himself that she was really there and he hadn't lost her.

The long line of black SUVs that were caravaning silently down the road let him know the feds had arrived. He just hoped Lance could help expedite their leaving. He wanted Felicity back in Starling, back in the mansion, back in his bed where he knew she was safe.

He watched, eyes narrowed, as the cars pulled to a stop and a flood of black clad agents poured out, all carrying guns they wouldn't be needing.

Felicity's face contorted at the sound of multiple slamming car doors and he leaned over her, whispering in her ear that she was safe.

When he looked up he saw Detective Lance eating up the ground between them, his eyes firmly fixed on Felicity.

"Oh god, no." he breathed out as he slowed his approach, taking in her appearance and obvious injuries. "What did that sick bastard do to her?" unknowingly almost repeating Digg's initial observation verbatim.

Oliver's throat was thick and it took him longer than he wanted to respond, "What didn't he do," he finally replied.

Lance ran a hand over his head and moved closer, fingers coming out tentatively to barely brush her newly dyed hair. "Jesus," he muttered under his breath, "She did it, huh? She killed him?" there was an unmistakable tone of pride in his voice, although heavily concealed by sadness and resignation. The relief on his face was evident and the man didn't even seem to notice as he let his hand just touch her head once.

Oliver felt his breath hitch and couldn't answer. Lance turned away and looked around, clearing his throat before he spoke, "They're gonna want to talk to her, Oliver, you know that. You know Jackson is a decent guy but...there are protocols and she's the only one who knows what actually happened."

He just held her tighter, "I don't know how much she can tell you since she was kept drugged almost constantly!" the tenuous rein he'd had on his anger was slipping, he was about to say more when Felicity turned in his arms and let out a low moan.

When he saw her eyelids flutter he forgot all about Lance or anyone else, as his hand came up to cup her cheek. "Hey, it's okay, you're safe." he repeated as she struggled to open her eyes the rest of the way.

The faintest bit of blue peeked out and he felt some of the tension leave his shoulders, then she was blinking repeatedly, her brows drawing together as she slowly focused on him.

"Oliver?" her voice sounded scratchy and raw, as she turned towards him, a small smile lifted the corner of her mouth and it almost took his breath away. Until she frowned and her eyes popped open in confusion and panic.

"Felicity, you're safe, it's over."

"Oliver?" she repeated, finally looking at him like she might not be seeing correctly, "You're here?"

"Yeah, we found you. Digg and I found you. You called me, remember?" his knuckles brushed over her temple and down along the side of her face,

"The diner. I called you from the diner. The nice waitress, she let me use her phone." she started and then blanched, eyes going wide in fear, "Oh god...Oliver...I…"

Before he could react she had begun to retch. Moving quickly he tipped her to the side so she could get sick on the ground if necessary, his hand fell across her middle and he could feel her abdominal muscles twitching and straining to expel whatever was in her stomach.

Lance moved as well, swiping her hair out of her face and helping support her head, but other than a few horrible noises nothing came up.

She went limp in Oliver's arms, breathing heavily, tears dripping off her nose. He rubbed comforting circles over her belly hating how the feel of her ribs was more prominent than it had been before.

He continued to whisper soft words into her hair until she took a long, ragged breath in through her nose and lifted her head some. She blinked again when she saw Lance kneeling in front of her.

"Det...Detective?"

"Hey sweetheart," he said quietly, as he straightened the blanket across her legs. "Glad we got you back,"

"Where's Digg?" she asked, eyes taking in the bandage on her arm,

"He's talking to the agents who've been working the case. But he fixed you up first," Oliver supplied,

"Speaking of the agents…" Lance began, shooting a look at Oliver before he continued, "I know you might not feel up to it, but you're going to need to give a statement."

All the color drained from her face again and he felt a low rumble emerge from his chest as he hitched her closer.

"I'll talk to them. Try and see if I can't get them to let you just do a brief statement right now and they can do the formal one back home in a couple of days when you're feeling better." Lance offered,

She was trembling now and Oliver knew it was from thinking about having to relive what she'd just gone through. "Do I have to?" she asked in the smallest voice he'd ever heard her use before.

A huge exhale left his lungs and Oliver couldn't help slipping a hand into her hair and gathering her to him, his lips pressed tight to her head. She felt like she was going to fly apart.

His eyes met Lance's over the top of her head and he silently pleaded with the older man to not do this to her, to allow her some bit of peace. With a sigh Lance dropped his head and let it hang for a long moment before he scrubbed his hands over his thighs and pushed to his feet.

"I'll see what I can do."

The screaming siren of the approaching ambulance made her cringe and Oliver covered her ear with his palm as he looked around for Digg who was already moving to intercept the paramedics.

He saw his partner trying to get them to stop and listen but before Oliver knew it there were three medics rushing right towards them.

Felicity looked up at that moment, no doubt picking up on the tension that had entered his body, and emitted a small shrieking cry when she spied the strangers.

Oliver's free hand was out, and he was ready to put Felicity down and physically block her if necessary, but luckily Digg slipped in front of them and helped put up a wall of protection.

"You need to back off!" Oliver ground out, voice as low as it ever was when he used the modulator,

"Give her some space and let me brief you," Digg tried, but they didn't seem to be interested in listening as the one in the front continued to try and push forward,

"Hey, man, you need to listen!" Digg bit out, one large palm coming out to slap across the man's chest and keep him from taking another step.

They were quickly joined by two of the deputies, and several agents all who seemed to be talking at once. Felicity's hand wrapped tight in his jacket as she turned her face into his chest, trying to make herself as small as possible.

It was Lance and Jackson shoving their way through and talking over the rest that finally got the medics to back off some. Digg stepped away with them, and Oliver could tell by the set of his shoulders and the way he kept shaking his head it wasn't going well.

"I just want to go home," she whispered, "I want it to be over,"

"It's almost over. I promise." he said as carefully as he could, knowing his tone was nowhere near as calm as he needed it to be.

Digg headed back, face drawn and Oliver could already feel his ire building.

He knelt down so he could look Felicity in the eyes when he talked, "Hey, they have to look you over, okay. They're not going to touch your arm, and they're not going to take you to the hospital." he waited for her to slowly turn her head so she was looking at him, neither of them missing how she grimaced and shut her eyes tight for a second. Digg flicked his gaze to Oliver and rubbed a hand over his face, "But you're going to have to go lay on the stretcher, okay."

A strangled noise came from the back of her throat and Oliver was on his feet, ready to put her in the car and leave. It was Digg's hard grip on his shoulder that kept him in one place.

"Oliver, we don't have a choice. Let them check her out and get it over with. She could probably use some fluids which we don't have with us."

Lance joined them, and if he noticed the tension he didn't say anything, "Sorry, they need at least a basic statement today." he said, looking genuinely contrite

Oliver's head fell back in frustration and fury. She'd been through enough. It all needed to end.

"Let's get it over with," Digg said in that even tone of his that Oliver often appreciated, just not at that moment.

When he looked down he was surprised to see Felicity staring back, a look of resigned acceptance on her face. "I can do it," she whispered,

"You shouldn't have to," he replied immediately, angry he seemed to be the only one who wanted to keep her from having to relive it all again.

The sharp bitter laugh she gave made his heart clench, "Shouldn't have to do a lot of things. Don't have a choice,"

He didn't want to think what sort of reserve she had to be tapping into in order to agree to do this. How much damage had Nate done to her that would stay with her for the rest of her life. This was never supposed to be her fate. He knew what it was like to live with blood on your hands, but she was never supposed to know.

"Oliver…" it was her soft touch against his jaw that broke him from his thoughts,

With a gasp he curled around her, burying his face in her neck. "I missed you," he said brokenly, feeling her nails scraping through the hair on his face he hadn't bothered to keep up with for days. The weak hold he'd had on everything had snapped for just a second.

"I missed you," she replied, turning her head so her lips moved against his jaw, "I can do this,"

He kissed her, hard and quick, avoiding the cut on her lip and pulling back before she could even try and return it. He kept his head down as he blinked wet eyes, not looking up until he had his control back.

He looked Lance dead in the eye, and then turned his gaze on Jackson, "She gets upset at all and this is over,"

There was a second where he thought Jackson was going to challenge him, but then he nodded and led the way to the back of the open ambulance.

The stretcher looked hard and uncomfortable and it was the last place he wanted to put her down. He didn't want to put her down at all. With a stuttered movement he placed her as gently as possible, brushing a kiss over her forehead along with a promise to not leave her.

There was a flash of panic in her eyes as he sat on the bench next to her and he was already reaching for her hand when it reached out for his. Her chest rose and fell in quick, short bursts and he could see she was on the verge of a panic attack.

"You're safe, I'm right here," he said as calmly as possible while he smoothed a hand over her head.

She didn't speak, but gave him a short nod and he could feel her nails dig into his flesh from where she gripped him so tightly.

A voice over his shoulder interrupted them, and when the paramedic asked for him to step outside Oliver thought he might like to tear the man's throat out. He had no intention of leaving her.

It took Felicity asking for him to be allowed to stay that the medic responded to, and Oliver couldn't help but level the man with a glare as he began to prepare his equipment.

Felicity made a small noise and Oliver turned back to her, trying to keep her focus on him and not what the medic was doing. They made it through routine blood pressure and oxygen level checks without incident, but when the man moved towards her and began to check her for any head trauma she balked.

With a violent jerk she pulled away and tried to move as far towards Oliver as she could. "Please...please don't touch my hair. He...he touched my hair...I can't." her voice was small and trembling and he felt a flare of protectiveness surge within him quickly followed by the ever present guilt he'd been carrying for the past week.

From that point on the medic wisely told Felicity everything he was going to do before he did it.

Oliver saw how she began to tremble again when the needle was brought out to start the I.V and he cupped his hand over her cheek, directing her gaze towards him and away from what was happening on her other side, beginning to talk in an attempt to distract her.

"It'll be over soon, you just need some fluids and then we'll be on the plane back to Starling."

Her eyes widened at that and he could see the questions begin to swirl. How far were they from home? How did they know to look for her in Ashford? How did they figure it out and not the F.B.I?

"Mostly blind luck," he said with a shake of his head. "There hadn't been a real lead for days. The profiler was convinced you'd been taken back east, and that's where the F.B.I was focusing most of their efforts. Digg and I had been pouring over every bit of evidence we had when a call came in from Lance. He said they had received an anonymous tip that Samuels had been spotted in a town about three hours from here and he was going to ride along." He was being intentionally vague. She didn't need to know all the details yet if ever. He flicked a quick look to the medic to see he was about to insert the port and held her hand tighter.

Her eyes had shut when the needle had gone in and she swallowed hard, blood draining from her already pale face. When she looked at him again there was a spark of determination.

"It was obviously a bad lead. And it doesn't explain how you knew to come here." she still sounded shaky, but he knew she was trying to keep herself distracted and he wasn't going to let her down.

"Digg was looking at a map of the surrounding area, just happened to see the name of the town and remembered he'd seen the same name on the diner menu from the backpack in the plaza. We decided to come on a whim and check it out. Honestly I think Digg was just trying to get me out in an attempt to clear my head a bit." That was an outright lie, but he couldn't let her know how bad it had gotten. He couldn't let her know how close to the edge he'd been. She didn't need to know how desperate everything had become. How the F.B.I had warned them every passing hour past the first forty-eight dropped the chances of her being found alive. How it had been seven days of hell and imagining every time the phone rang it would be the call saying her body had been discovered.

He hadn't realized he'd gone quiet until he felt her fingers on the back of his neck, softly carding through his hair. "What?"

"We're six hours from Starling. We shouldn't have driven. We could have been here faster and…" he blurted out before he could stop himself, the guilt tasting bitter in his mouth and making him want to spit it out when he really should have been swallowing it down as part of his penance. He knew why they had driven but now, in hindsight...all of those reasons didn't seem to matter.

"Hey, you had no reason to think I was here, you said so yourself. Don't take on blame that's not yours." the small bit of absolution she was giving him wasn't deserved and he couldn't bring himself to lift his head. Instead he stroked his thumb over her hand and shut his eyes as she continued to run her fingers through his hair.

For a long moment it was actually quiet until he heard movement behind him and turned to see Jackson climbing into the ambulance.

"Ms. Smoak, I'm Agent Jackson and I'm in charge of the task force based out of Starling City."

Her hand slid off the back of Oliver's neck and he grabbed it up quickly, feeling the tension enter her body.

"Mr. Queen I'm going to need you to step out while I take Ms. Smoak's statement."

Oliver's back stiffened and he had to choke back a laugh. There was no way he was leaving. The idea was absurd.

"Mr. Queen…" Jackson began again but Oliver just leveled him with a glare, which Jackson decided to ignore. "I understand this is difficult, but I am already compromising by conducting the interview here instead of insisting that Ms. Smoak be taken to the nearest field office and debriefed immediately, which is typically how things would go in a situation like this."

The swell of rage that filled him was almost welcomed. He knew that feeling. He could work with that. "I would like to see you try,"

Agent Jackson's eyes flashed, he was clearly not used to be challenged, "Sir, I will get the statement one way or the other."

"You can threaten to have her transported. But if you do that I'd like to remind you that I have the Defense Secretary's private number, and Queen Consolidated's Applied Sciences division holds quite a few defense contracts. It would be unfortunate if those contracts were terminated and the research lost because certain members of the government couldn't conduct themselves satisfactorily."

He'd felt...useless as Arrow since all of this had started. He had failed, repeatedly to do what he was trained to do. But if the Arrow couldn't help her just then, he'd damn well make sure that Oliver Queen, CEO could.

Felicity's head whipped towards him, but he only saw it out of his periphery. He and Jackson were engaged in a battle of wills just then and he couldn't spare her a glance.

Finally Jackson looked away, his jaw tightening as he considered Oliver's words, "Mr. Queen, I do not wish to cause Ms. Smoak any further stress. But I also cannot allow you to be present when she gives her statement."

Oliver's hands clenched into fists and he had to remind himself he was still holding onto her when he felt the small bones in her hands pressed together under his grip.

"Oliver, it's okay. I'll be fine." she said quickly, and he couldn't help the way he turned to look at her, stricken expression crossing his face.

He realized his mistake as soon as he saw her eyes drop, a fresh wash of tears making them look wavy in the dim light.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath. She thought he was upset with her, "No, I...I just need you..." he cut himself off and shut his eyes tight for a moment. He didn't know how to explain to her that he needed to be near her. To be able to see her and touch her because he'd gone too long thinking he'd never get to do those things again and right then he couldn't reconcile those fears with the reality that she was safe. "Are you sure?"

Part of him wanted her to say no.

"I just want it over with." she said tiredly, and it was her forlorn, exhausted tone that made him concede. They'd get this over with and they'd leave.

"Okay," he agreed, "I'll be right out there if you need me." Before he could talk himself out of it, or see something else in her eyes that would make him stop he forced himself to his feet and brushed a kiss over her cheek, not looking back as he exited the ambulance.

The whirling red and blue lights of the police cruisers cut into the rapidly darkening sky, casting shadows everywhere he looked. A quick glance towards the motel room they'd found her in showed a large spotlight going up as the area was swarmed by agents. He resolutely turned his back on the view and took up a position ten feet from where she was.

He felt Digg and Lance come up to flank him, but none of them spoke. The three held a silent sentry as F.B.I agents, and sheriff's deputies, and forensic units swarmed about them.

But Oliver's eyes were locked on the dim cavern of the ambulance. He couldn't see her, Jackson blocked his view, and no one had turned on the interior lights. All he could make out was a dark shape and the edge of the stretcher when the strobes hit it. It was pointless to try and hear her, but he kept straining his ears anyways.

A part of him ached to know what she was saying. Partly because he didn't want her to have to tell it again. Partly because he needed to know what she'd gone through. And another part of him, the selfish part, didn't want to know. He didn't know if he could handle hearing what had happened to her. If he didn't know it was one last layer of guilt he could leave off.

And that made him feel even more guilty. She'd lived it. She'd been forced to endure all of it and he hadn't been able to stop it. The least he could do was take on as much of it for her as possible. To try and make her burdens his. Logically he knew that's not how it worked, but it didn't stop him from wanting to be able to save her from as much of it as he could.

The longer he was forced to wait the more anxious and tense he became. On the outside he was a solid, rigid, unmoving force that betrayed none of the inner turmoil churnin through him. It crossed his mind that the profile he exuded just then looked similar to when he stood on rooftops in the middle of the night with a hood and a bow.

He needed to move, but he wasn't going to shift from his spot. The second Jackson was done with her Oliver planned on being back at her side. He could feel how tight his jaw was. There was an actual pain he could feel shooting down the sides of his neck, but he couldn't get himself to ease up, to relax. That might not happen for a long time.

When the agent suddenly half stood, Oliver started forward a step. All his senses were on alert telling him something was wrong. Then he heard it, a high pitched cry that emerged from the darkness and he was moving.

Hands dropped to his arms to hold him back but he shrugged them off. Jackson had already moved back, turning as Oliver approached at a run.

"I'm sorry," he said with obvious concern, "I didn't realize she was unaware of how long she'd been gone."

Oliver's heart dropped and then he was climbing in the back.

She was so pale she was almost grey, her mouth opening and shutting with nothing coming out but a garbled, unintelligible sound full of shock and her complete inability to understand what she'd been told.

"Felicity!" he said sharply, not even noticing how loud he was in the small space. Digg was crowded in next to him, and Oliver barely noticed as the other man removed her I.V.

He took her face in his hands and tried to get her to look at him, but her eyes scared him. They were wide, pupils blown, and she didn't seem to be seeing anything. "Felicity! You're safe! You're okay!" he shouted, hoping if nothing else she'd hear him.

When she did respond it was with a gasp as she struck out frantically, hand coming to wrap itself once more in his jacket. "A week?" she gasped out between sobs, "A week? Oliver...I didn't….I didn't know! I didn't know!" she collapsed against him, "I didn't know it had been that long. What did he do to me? I can't remember! What did he do?"

Her words tore at him, gnawing at his soul as his mind buzzed white with static. She didn't know she'd been gone a week. She had no memories of half the time she'd been missing. What had that bastard done to her?

He had her in his arms and was out of the ambulance before he'd known he'd moved. She jumped and hitched against him, her breaths erratic and short, and one look at her terrified face was all he needed to know she was too far gone.

Lance raced ahead and opened the back door to the Escalade, clapping him on the shoulder as he maneuvered her gently into the car. "Get her home safe," he heard before the door was shutting behind him.

She was slumped unnaturally against the tan leather, head lolling to the side and her eyes still had that far off, unattended look to them that made a shiver go down his spine.

He slipped a hand under her neck to support her head, the other gripping her shoulder tight, as he watched her struggle to breathe. Both her hands came up to pull at her bloodstained t-shirt, as if it was constricting her, fingers weakly pulling at the fabric

"Felicity! Breathe!" he ordered, "You're having a panic attack. Open your eyes and look at me."

Not breathing himself he watched as she tried. He saw the struggle as she worked to bring herself back, and knew how hard it was for her.

"Listen to my voice, and concentrate on your breaths." he lowered his voice, trying to help calm her by staying calm himself, but he heard the tremors and the cracks, and knew he was only barely hanging on.

Slowly she regained control. Her breaths got longer, and there was more time between them. Color began to return to her face, and her eyes began to 'see' him once again.

He saw when she opened her mouth and tried to speak but he cut her off before she could.

"Don't, don't talk about it right now." he said, letting the finger he'd laid over her lips caress the chapped skin for a moment.

With a sigh she let her head fall back as she leaned into his arm.

"Let's go, Digg." he threw over his shoulder, gathering her back to him as they pulled away from the motel and the hell she'd been forced to endure.

Small tremors periodically made her body shake head to toe and each time Oliver would hold her tighter and whisper to her that she was safe, and she could sleep.

He didn't take his eyes off of her during the entire drive. They were leaving. Finally. The only goal he'd had was finally being met.

Find her. Save her. Bring her home.

Two out of three.

The hot sting behind his eyes made him drop his head over hers, peppering her forehead with small kisses. She barely stirred and he knew she was almost asleep.

When the car stopped he looked up to see the sight of his jet parked on a weed infested runway. The stairs were already down, the pilot waiting at the bottom and it took no time for Digg to open the door.

He settled in the back where three seats made a small couch, Digg dropped into the single chair across from them and didn't say a word about how he left Felicity in his lap.

They didn't speak until after the stairs had been brought up and the door shut and the pilot came over the intercom to say they were clear for takeoff.

When they were in the air he let out a sigh that was mirrored by Digg and let his head fall back to be struck almost immediately by a wave of exhaustion.

It took effort to open his eyes and when he did he saw the supportive stare of his partner.

"I'll keep watch, take a rest." he ordered and Oliver didn't fight him.

Felicity mumbled something in her sleep and turned into him slightly. He smoothed a hand over her head and took her hand in his, tangling their fingers together as they lay across her middle. The deep shuddering exhale that emerged from his chest as he leaned back did little to expel the new demons he'd acquired in the past week, but it was a cathartic release none the less.

He stretched his legs out and crossed his feet at the ankles as he held her just a little bit tighter. She was alive. She was in his arms. He had her back.

She was alive.

Finally, knowing Digg was keeping watch over her he shut his eyes and let himself sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Reunited! They're back together, finally! It's been awhile. My apologies. That being said, everything isn't kittens and rainbows. They both went through some pretty heavy stuff and it's not all better just because they're together again. There's still angst and difficult things to work through.**

**Hope you enjoy! Thank you for embracing and accepting the small hiatus so that I could write Oliver's pov. It's been invaluable to me as a writer and I hope also to you as a reader.**

**Please let me know what you think!**

The low hum of the plane's engines woke her and she blinked open heavy eyes to see the blurry image of Oliver's shirt. Turning her head slowly she looked up to see him asleep, the dark circles under his eyes even more prominent in the low lighting that she was just then recognizing belonged to the Queen's private jet.

He still held her in his arms and for the first time since she'd been taken she felt calm. It was over. They were going home.

Carefully she turned to her left, moving only as much as she needed to. She didn't want to wake Oliver, but her right shoulder was numb from how she'd been laying against him and there was a dull ache in her injured arm.

His grip loosed for a second and then became tighter. Her eyes flashed to his but his face remained unchanged, and she was glad he was getting rest.

"He hasn't slept more than a few hours since he knew you were missing," Digg's quiet voice broke through the silence and she fully turned her head to see him sitting across from them.

He looked worn too. His normally bright eyes were dulled and bloodshot, as he sat leaning forward, elbows propped on his knees.

"How about you?" it came out almost as a whisper, her voice croaky and hoarse.

He waved a dismissive hand, "I'm fine,"

"Digg…"

For a second he dropped the mask and she saw the strain and the stress he'd been under, not only to find her but to keep Oliver functioning as well.

"Hasn't been a good week." he finally said, "But it's getting better."

She gave him a watery smile and was about to speak when he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a black case she recognized. "Here, I've got something for you,"

The next thing she knew the familiar weight of her glasses was being slipped onto her face and as everything became just a bit more clear she gave a small sigh. "Thanks,"

"Found them in the car. Not a scratch on them," he said almost roughly and the way he turned the case over in his hands before he caught what he was doing and shoved it back in his pocket let her know something was eating at him.

"Monroe's dead, isn't he?"

Digg's head shot up, unable to hide his shock at her question.

"Nate he...he told me what he did. I sort of remember being in the car after the explosion. I was half conscious and there was shouting and then...a gun going off. I didn't know who it was for awhile…"

He scrubbed both his hands over his face before he answered, "Yeah, Monroe's dead,"

"I'm sorry. I liked him." she knew it was too simple a phrase, but Digg seemed to understand.

"I liked him too,"

Guilt came out of nowhere and filled her, making her throat tight and her head spin. She had more than one life on her conscious now.

"Hey, stop it." Digg said forcefully and she lifted damp eyes to see him leaning even closer. "He was a soldier. He knew the risks. He did his job."

"But if it wasn't for me…"

"He did his job. Don't take that from him, Felicity." he looked away quickly and then back, "Some men, they can go to war and come back and do something normal. And others...we've seen too much, done too much. There's no going back. This is what we know. It's what we're good at. And he was one of the best, which is why I hired him."

"Then how am I supposed to be okay with this? You hired him to protect me and now he's gone." she didn't understand how he said these things so simply, like they were facts that just were.

"You don't have to be okay with it, but you do have to accept it. He did his job. He died trying to protect you. And you'll just have to trust me when I say he wouldn't have had it any other way."

"Did he have a family?" she asked too quickly, "It just seems wrong that he...he put his life up for mine and I didn't know a single thing about him. God, Digg I didn't even know his first name." she admitted almost breathlessly, angry at herself for being so ignorant about a man who had made such a sacrifice because of her.

"His name was Christopher. He had a sister and a four year old niece. He was twenty-nine years old."

Her eyes fell shut, tears burning behind them. She appreciated the fact that Digg never handled her with kid gloves. He gave her facts and what she needed to hear, even if she didn't really want to know. But it didn't make it hurt less.

"We have to do…"

He held up a hand to stop her, "Oliver took care of it already. He paid for the funeral expenses and set up a college fund for the niece. You're not the only one who feels responsible."

"Yeah," she knew Oliver had been taking on everything as his own personal burden, and she knew it was eating him up inside.

There was a silence that passed between them, and she waited for him to speak, expecting him to say something about how Oliver had been while she was missing. Which is why she was so shocked by what he did say.

"I want you to go to the hospital when we land."

Her eyes flew open, wide and fearful as his words resonated within her.

"No!" she said louder than she intended and Oliver shifted underneath her, one hand unconsciously running along her arm, while the other gripped her hip tighter. She dropped her hand over his, her fingers tracing the bones as she pushed herself back into him slightly hearing a low grunt from his chest before he settled back down.

Digg's gaze was still locked on her, "Felicity...you were kept sedated for days. You have little memory. I don't want to make this harder than it needs to be, but you have no idea what happened to you." she could see the strain around his eyes and how pinched his mouth was as he spoke.

Her head shook back and forth twice, "No…" she more mouthed than spoke out loud, "I can't...I don't want people…" she didn't know how to explain it to him. The thought of having to go somewhere else. To be asked questions and touched...it was more than she could handle.

Digg shifted in his seat and leaned closer, "I know. I know it's the last thing you want right now. But for your safety you need to do it."

"But...Oliver…"

"Oliver's not thinking straight." Digg cut her off, "If he was he'd have driven the ambulance himself. When he does come to his senses it would be better if you knew without a doubt what happened while you were unconscious." everything he was so carefully trying to not say was coming at her so loud he may as well have been screaming.

She knew he was right. Logically she knew. If she were talking to someone else she'd be telling them the same thing Digg was telling her. But despite all of that she didn't want to. She almost didn't want to know.

Mutely she shook her head again, wishing he could stop being so damned practical and sane when she just wanted to ignore it all and hide.

"Felicity...you're too smart to…"

"I don't care!" she only just caught herself in time to keep her voice at a whispered shout, "I don't even think I want to know. And it doesn't matter. He's dead. It's not like they can charge him for anything else." the words were bitter and made her swallow hard when she was finished saying them.

"I understand that," he said as evenly as possible and her eyes flashed angrily at him, "But I know you. You're going to need the answers, and if you wait it will be too late and it will drive you crazy not knowing."

It was too much. She knew he was right and it killed her, but she also knew if they took her to a hospital the little bit of control she'd managed to scrape together would be gone.

Digg let out a long sigh, "How about a compromise. I can see if the Queen's personal physician can come to the house. One person. No hospital. Just to make sure you're okay and to draw blood."

She froze as she considered his offer. One person. No hospital.

The tiny nod she gave made him let out a long, slow exhale. "Okay," he said quietly and rose to his feet, one hand coming out to brush over her head, "I'll go make the calls. Shouldn't be too much longer until we're on the ground."

Oliver slept until the pilot announced they'd be landing then he came to with a start, hands clenching at her waist and hip as he looked around with wild eyes that didn't seem to be present.

"It's okay," she whispered softly and he dipped his head almost like he hadn't expected to see her. Then his eyes cleared and he shut them tight as he let out a long breath and she felt him relax underneath her.

The almost painful grip he had on her loosened and when he met her gaze again he still looked haunted and worn but tried to give her a smile.

"Did you sleep?" he asked throatily and she nodded,

"A little, then I talked to Digg some,"

"Sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"Stop, of course you should have. I know you haven't slept, Oliver." her good hand stretched up until her fingertips could just brush his jaw. He let out a small huff but didn't deny what she'd said.

Then they were landing. He planted his feet and secured her in his arms but made no move to let her go. The pilot put them on the ground smoothly and she caught just a glimpse of the Starling City skyline as they taxied, the thought that it had been over a week since she'd been there last almost too surreal to believe.

Digg came back to join them, "Car's ready to go in the hangar," he supplied and Oliver nodded once.

She made to get up but his arms were like bands of iron and all she could do was half sit awkwardly, straining muscles that were already sore.

"What are you doing?" he asked, genuinely confused,

"Walking off this plane,"

"You're fine, I've got you," he answered quietly, lips brushing tenderly over her forehead.

Felicity felt her heart swell at his action but she also knew she needed to walk off the plane for her own reasons, reasons she wasn't even sure she could express just then.

"I can walk," she replied, trying to sit up again, this time his arms letting her up far enough to be sitting in his lap,

"Felicity…"

She could hear the tension in his voice, and the way his brows drew together, he didn't understand why she was doing this.

"Please, Oliver, let me do this," her hand cupped his cheek, fingers tracing over the lines that were deeper than the last time she'd seen them, following the dark shadows that hollowed out his face.

Before he could reply she scooted forward and cautiously put her feet on the ground. Bare feet she realized immediately. The cheap ballet flats she'd been wearing must have come off in the struggle with Nate. She was already standing when the memory struck her.

She blanched, feeling her knees go weak and she wondered if she actually could walk on her own. Oliver hands found her hips and he was suddenly standing behind her, letting her lean against him as she took deep breaths and tried to push the thoughts away.

"You don't have to do this," he said almost desperately, and a part of her ached for him, but the other part of her was still stuck in that motel room.

"I do," she choked out, "I do," the breath she blew from pursed lips was shaky and she let her fingers twine with his where they rested on her hips.

She felt his head dip down to rest against hers and he let out a shuddering breath of his own.

Before she could reconsider she took one hesitant step and then another, one of her hands still clasped in his.

Digg waited at the steps, supportive look on his face and when she reached him he didn't say a word, just began to descend slowly. She paused at the top, Oliver so close behind her she could feel the heat of him. As she looked out she could see the plane had been taxied straight into the hangar and the car had been brought in as well. She knew Digg was the one who had arranged for everything and she mouthed a 'thank you' when he turned back and offered her his hand in case she needed it.

She took the steps one at a time, purposely not looking around, her grip on Oliver so tight her fingers were starting to go numb. When she got to the bottom she saw there was a small carpet runner that stretched from the stairs to the car where the door was already open. Digg's lifted eyebrows let her know he wasn't responsible for that but she was grateful all the same to not feel cold concrete under her feet.

He paused by the open door as Oliver helped her in, the familiar scent of expensive leather and a lingering trace of Oliver's cologne helped calm her some as she had to let go of him to slide across the seat.

She expected him to follow her immediately, he had one foot inside, hand braced on the roof but he had paused and she heard a low murmur she recognized as Digg's voice but she couldn't make out what he was saying.

It hit her so fast she sat bolt upright, eyes coming to stare straight ahead of her, fixating on the stitching in the drivers seat headrest. Digg was telling Oliver about the doctor.

Her stomach began to churn and that now all too familiar fluttery feeling of panic began in her chest once again. She didn't want to. She wanted to sleep forever with Oliver wrapped around her and when she woke up it would all be over.

When Oliver finally climbed in the tension was radiating off him in waves and she found she was closing in on herself. She felt confused, and frightened, and like her brain still wasn't processing at its normal speed.

His head fell back with a sigh and she added a fresh dose of guilt to her competing emotions. A flare of pain shot down her arm making her wince and she caught herself trying to wrap her arms around her middle to make herself as small as possible.

Then Oliver's hand slid across her back and he was drawing her to his side, muttering apologies for what she didn't know. It took her longer than it should of to relax into him. When she finally pressed her face into his shoulder he turned and kissed her forehead, letting his lips stay there as he spoke, "We'll get through this,"

She didn't reply. She couldn't. She just moved as close as she could and let her eyes fall shut and tried not to think about what she'd have to do when she got to the mansion, as he stroked a hand through her hair. His heart beat strong under her ear and she focused on that, counting each thud until she drifted off.

When she came to he was once again carrying her up the stairs of the mansion, the act so familiar now it should have become some sort of running joke. Much like seeing the city for the first time, being in the house felt strange as well. It didn't seem like it had been over a week since she'd walked down those very steps.

They were almost to the top when she lifted her head and looked around but there was no one to witness this time. Moira and Thea were conspicuously absent.

She didn't try to get down and even though she knew he was aware she was awake he stared stoically ahead, the tight set of his jaw telling her how on edge he was.

However, when Oliver entered his room she realized they weren't alone. Digg stood a few feet inside with an older woman at his side. She had ash blonde hair and a dark purple pant suit and wore a kindly expression.

Regardless, Felicity found herself shrinking into Oliver. His steps slowed and she knew without looking he was fighting this as well.

It was Digg who had to step forward, "Felicity, this is Dr. Anderson,"

The doctor stayed where she was as Oliver drew to a halt in front of them, "It's nice to meet you, Felicity. I've been Moira and Thea's doctor for over twenty years, in fact I delivered Thea," her smile was genuine and reached her eyes and Digg must have told her some of what happened because she was making no move to approach them.

Felicity knew she was trying to make her more comfortable by giving her a connection to the Queen family, letting Felicity know she wasn't a stranger to be scared of, and it did help to know this wasn't some nameless, faceless person at a hospital but she still didn't want any part of it.

Felicity must have made some sort of conditioned, polite acknowledgement but she wasn't sure if she'd nodded or made a noise. Then Oliver was moving again, hesitating with her hovering over the bed.

His eyes were a war of emotion, and not for the first time she wondered how bad it had gotten for him. He looked like he was about to crack and suddenly, like clouds parting on a stormy day she had a goal, a purpose. She knew she needed to be checked out, there were too many unknowns, too much she couldn't remember, too much at risk, but thinking about all of that was enough to drown her in thoughts she couldn't begin to process. But she could get through it for him. If it would help ease some of the stress and strain he was experiencing she could focus on that outcome instead.

"Sit me down," she whispered gently, "It'll be okay,"

Mechanically he lowered her to the bed, steadying her as she sat with her legs hanging off the side. His eyes darted everywhere but at her, as he tried to pull his hands away from her and failed.

He looked tortured and it made her heart clench to see him struggling so hard. With one strong tug she caught his attention and then he was kneeling in front of her, hands gripping her hips as he looked up at her with pleading eyes, "You don't have to do this,"

"Yes I do," she said with a watery broken smile, "We need for me to do this,"

His head bowed in defeat, and she couldn't help running a hand over his hair and down to the nape of his neck.

"If this is too hard for you…" he began, voice muffled, and her vision grew even more blurry because she knew he was so upset for her. He didn't want her to be scared or uncomfortable and that made her even more sure that she had to do this.

"I can handle it. I have to. You know that, Oliver,"

"I know," he half growled, hands tightening at her waist and for a long moment they didn't move or say a word, she just dragged her nails through his hair.

When he could he picked his head up and fixed seeking eyes on hers, searching for any reason to call it all off.

"Okay….okay, " he said, stronger the second time as his hand slid to cup her cheek, "I lo…" he stopped, head tilted to the side as his eyes slammed shut. But she knew. She knew he was about to say what she had almost said on the phone and she knew he had stopped for the same reason.

Her heart rose in her chest and the smile she gave him then was real as she pulled him forward their lips meeting in their first real kiss since it had ended. Warmth flooded her at the contact and he kissed her twice more before he finally pulled back and stood up, hand still caressing her face.

"I'll be right outside," he promised,

"I know,"

Her hands twisted in her lap as he walked away, trying to clamp down on the surge of panic that raced through her as she watched his retreating form. He paused at the door where Digg had been talking to the doctor in low tones.

The sound of the door closing and a soft voice calling her name made her jump, heart beating frantically as her head whipped up to see Digg and Oliver were gone.

Dr. Anderson still stood by the door and stayed there until Felicity released the death grip she had on the side of the bed.

She still held her breath as the doctor came closer, but instead of going straight for Felicity she walked to the desk and pushed the wheeled computer chair over, stopping when she was still several feet away.

"Is it okay if we talk for a few minutes first?" she asked and Felicity nodded, trying to control her exhale as her spine released vertebrae by vertebrae.

"Mr. Diggle explained some of what you've been through. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or frighten you and if you want to stop at any time we can. You're in control here."

The words struck her hard because she hadn't been in control for over a week. Blinking furiously she just nodded.

"I'd like to take some blood, you were kept sedated I understand and there could still be traces in your system."

"Can you run tests?" Felicity asked suddenly,

"Tests for what?"

"Everything,"

The implications hung between them but Dr. Anderson knew what she meant, "I can run any test you'd like. Anything that will put your mind at ease."

"You have an in-house lab? Private?" she asked unnecessarily, she knew Digg wouldn't have had this any other way.

"Yes. Private and discreet,"

"Then I'd like to fill the lab requisition form out myself," her chin lifted some and she sat a little straighter. Telling the doctor exactly which tests she wanted run wasn't something she could do, but she knew she could check them off on a form.

"Of course, that won't be a problem. We'll have the results to you by tomorrow morning,"

Felicity swallowed hard and looked around the room. The room she'd dreamt about being back in while she was gone. "The drug I was given...there are days I have no memory of. Is that normal?"

"Mr. Diggle told me the name of the sedative. It's highly potent and if the dosage was too high...then yes, it's very possible you could have either been unconscious for that time or have no memory."

Felicity didn't reply. She didn't know how she'd ever come to terms with that unknown.

The doctor made quick work of drawing the blood, not saying any unnecessary words while she focused on the task.

Dr. Anderson was quiet and calm and professional and that was exactly what Felicity needed. As she packaged the blood samples she handed Felicity the form without comment.

Her hand shook as she held the pen and began to check boxes where the results could be life altering. She couldn't allow herself to think on it though because once she started she wouldn't be able to stop.

She didn't recall much from the actual exam. Her mind had gone someplace else in order for her to get through it. She remembered studying the dark wood work on the ceiling. She remembered a cool hand on her knee that made her jump. She remembered silent tears leaking into her hair. She remembered pulling her clothes back on as quickly as she could, clothes that were bloody and not hers but better than nothing.

Dr. Anderson had packed her things and was waiting patiently as Felicity sat silently on the side of the bed once again.

"I'll have the tests results sent over as soon as they're available." she said and then made to reach across to take Felicity's hand but she jerked back, starting to shake from the effort it had taken to keep herself together. "Felicity...everything looks fine. I don't think you need to worry, there's no sign of any sexual assault. The stitches in your leg can come out soon and your arm should heal nicely." She'd said it all together like they were all equal and Felicity didn't know if that was good or bad. Her head was starting to swim with the thousands of thoughts suddenly swirling through all at once.

"Fluids, a few good meals, and a lot of rest. If you need anything please don't hesitate to call. I've been with the Queen family for a long time and I hope to see you again under better circumstances."

Mutely Felicity dipped her head and moved on leaden legs to walk the doctor to the door. Each step took her closer to Oliver, closer to what she needed. The panic was working its way up her throat again, trying to choke her and she could barely hear anything over the high pitched buzzing sound in her head.

When the door opened she saw him, one hand paused halfway across his head as he paced and then he was pushing past the doctor without sparing her a glance.

She didn't hear Digg offer to walk the doctor out or the soft click as the door shut, all she knew was Oliver standing before her pleading with his eyes to tell her everything was okay. She managed one weak nod with a trembling chin and then he was wrapped around her, one hand splayed wide across her back and the other cupping her head.

Other than her breakdown in the shower she hadn't allowed herself to crack. Even in the motel room everything had been too real, too present for her to understand what had happened. But it was starting to settle within her, what had been done to her and what she'd had to do.

"You're alright, I'm right here," he said softly into her hair, and it was those words that made her break.

Allowing all her weight to be caught by Oliver she let go. Hot tears streamed down her face as silent sobs shook her so hard she felt her knees buckle. His hold on her tightened and some part of her registered that his chest was shaking too.

She didn't look up as she felt him stutter and then lower them to the floor, not even trying to make it to the couch or bed. She curled into his lap and felt his wet face press into her neck as they both let go of some of the pain and fear they'd been forced to live through.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Thank you again for all the amazing support you’ve shown this story. Thank you for hanging in there through something that turned into a monster. We’re not done yet, but we’re getting close to the end.**

 

**This chapter is a bit of a breather for both Felicity and Oliver and for the reader. Keep in mind it’s still the same day of her battle with Nate. Same day they were reunited at the motel. Same day she got back to Starling City and the mansion. Neither of them have really had a chance to process anything at this point.**

 

**I hope you enjoy!! Please let me know what you think!!**

 

 

The feeling of something warm and soothing crossing over her bare skin had her emit a low hum of approval as she resisted opening her eyes. She felt heavy and comfortable, and as her mind slowly began to function she wanted to stay there and float. Then like a tidal wave of cold water it all clicked with her. Bare skin. Nate. Alone. 

 

She was frantically moving backwards before her eyes were even open, hands flashing out to knock away whoever or whatever was touching her in a desperate bid to get to safety. 

 

Her left hand hit something hard and unyielding sending a flare of shooting pain up her arm but she pushed it away as she tried to get her feet under her. 

 

It was Oliver repeatedly saying her name that finally made her still. She blinked up at him, panting and breathless as he held her shoulders down, bent over her with a worried expression pinching his face. 

 

“Hey, I’m sorry, you’re safe,” he said quickly, as his grip loosened some and she sank back into what she now knew was the couch. 

 

She looked down and around to see they were no longer on the floor inside the doorway. She didn’t remember him moving her, but his eyes were red-rimmed and bore the evidence of his own anguish. 

 

The torn button up shirt she’d been wearing was gone, along with the t-shirt she’d worn underneath leaving her in a bra and the loose fitting jeans. A forgotten cloth, stained a dull reddish brown lay across her right thigh, creating a damp patch that had darkened the denim. 

 

Oliver snatched it up when he saw her looking at it, “Sorry I...just the blood. I wanted to clean you up.” he said by way of explanation, his voice tight and strained.

 

Emotions threatened to overwhelm her and suddenly everything was too close and yet too big at the same time. With a gasp she tried to sit up, her hand slipping on leather beneath her, making her let out a half frustrated, half panicked noise that had Oliver reaching to help her. 

 

Her hands came up defensively and he reared back like she’d struck him, almost stumbling backwards until his legs hit the table and then he just stood, looking numb like he didn’t know what to do. 

 

Felicity pulled herself up and sat on the edge of the couch, elbows propped on her knees as she hid her face in her hands and tried to take deep, centering breaths. 

 

Her thoughts spun wildly as she sat hunched over, cool air on her bare back making her shiver. She knew why she had reacted like she had but Oliver didn’t, and she’d hurt him with her actions even though she hadn’t meant to. 

 

“I’m sorry…” she began, only to be cut off as he crouched in front of her but didn’t make a move to touch her. It made her heart ache and she wanted to reach for him, but her arms had dropped to wrap around herself, unconsciously covering as much as possible and she couldn’t seem to make them let go. 

 

“Na...he...he might have taken my clothes off while I was sedated, put me in something else. I don’t know. I don’t remember.” tears rolled down her face. She was so sick of crying but she didn’t know how to stop. “The doctor...she said…” when she paused Oliver visibly flinched and she rushed on before he could think the worst, “She said I could have been awake then but have no memory if the dose was too high,” it was something she had to cling to, the chance that maybe it hadn’t been Nate that had changed her, that she had been awake enough to do that herself and just not remember.

 

Oliver was almost vibrating as he tried to keep himself under control. His jaw clenched so hard his face was beginning to turn red and the leather creaked under his hand where he gripped the couch. 

 

“I just...when I woke up and my clothes were off and I didn’t know where I was. I’m sorry,” she said it in a rush, arms holding herself tighter and wishing she could let Oliver hold her just then. 

 

A look of shame and guilt overtook him, causing to pull back even further, not knowing what he should do or say. 

 

“I’ll...I’ll be right back,” he said in a gravelly voice as he shot to his feet, only hesitating for an instant above her before he was gone. 

 

She didn’t dare lift her head to see where he went. Part of her wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d left the room. She knew her disappearance had been bad for him, she could see that but she felt like maybe they were both too broken just then to help each other. 

 

And then he was standing in front of her again, a garment in each hand looking more unsure than she’d ever seen him before. 

 

When she saw what he held she gasped, and it took no time at all to make her decision. 

 

“I didn’t know which one you’d want,” 

 

One hand held a set of her flannel pajamas, the other held one of his dress shirts, the one she’d been wearing the day they’d left for the winery. 

 

All the air left her lungs and she was reaching for his shirt, and his hand, and him in an instant. 

 

“This one, I want this one,” she said brokenly,

 

Oliver let the pajamas fall to the floor as he dropped to his knees in front of her, gathering her to him as she clutched the shirt between them. 

 

The tension in him was still strung as tight as his bow and she hated that she’d caused it. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled into his neck as his hands soothed up and down her back. 

 

“Don’t. Don’t apologize, ever.” he said fiercely, “I should have thought...I shouldn’t have done that with you not aware.” 

 

She shook her head, unable to bear the guilt she could hear, “No, you were trying to help. You were trying to take care of me.” 

 

A rough exhale caused his hands to still and his back to go even more rigid. They were silent as she just leaned into him and let him know without words that she didn’t blame him for anything. 

 

She concentrated on his pulse and his warmth and his scent as she felt her heart rate slow and some of the tension ease out of both of them. 

 

When she felt like she wasn’t about to shatter she slowly pulled back, until the cool air of the room made her shiver. “Could you help me?” she asked, fingers so tight around the fabric of the shirt she held her nail beds had turned white. A glance down showed where he’d only wiped some of the blood from her arm, her shoulder and upper part of her chest was still stained as was the cheap utilitarian bra she wore. 

 

He didn’t reply, just reached for the cloth and then her arm and she didn’t know if it was because he didn’t trust his voice, but she suspected it was. She let the shirt she held fall to her lap as he carefully wiped away the streaks and trails off her skin. 

 

Finger by finger she made herself release the desperate grip she had on the fabric, feeling the blood rush back into each digit making them tingle and spark. Oliver was concentrating on his task, eyes furrowed as he held the weight of her arm with one hand and used the other to remove the blood, taking care not to get the tape around the bandage wet. 

 

He stilled when she reached out and let her hand brush his chest. His eyes flashed to hers and they stared at each other for a long moment as he begged without words for her to tell him what she needed. 

 

Her fingers moved again and he shifted forward, just a few centimeters but enough so that her palm flattened against him. The breath in her chest hitched as she pressed in towards him, feeling the heat and solidness of him under her hand. She ran it upwards until she came to his neck and let it cup the side. 

 

His head turned into her, a myriad of emotions running through his eyes. The sorrow and guilt were battling for dominance and once again her heart twisted. 

 

He blinked for a long moment and then he was back to cleaning her arm. She left her hand on his neck, needing to feel him, her thumb unconsciously running over his pulse point. 

 

The muscles worked as he swallowed thickly, making her thumb pause for a second. She hadn’t expected a small flush of desire to strike her just then, but it did, her belly warming at the thought. 

 

Attention firmly fixed on the image of her chipped blue nail polish contrasting against his tanned skin she didn’t notice when he ran the cloth under the strap on her left shoulder. When he did it a second time she looked down and saw how stained the bra was, more ruined than she had previously thought. 

 

Small flutters of panic were stoked in her chest. She didn’t want it on any longer, she wanted it gone. The jeans too. Everything associated with him needed to be gone. 

 

It wasn’t until Oliver’s hands closed over hers that she realized she had been trying to reach behind her with both hands to undo the clasp, ignoring how it pulled at her stitches. 

 

“Shh, I’ll get it,” he said carefully, bringing her hands back to the front, squeezing them once, letting his thumbs rub across her palms before he reached around her and opened the hooks. 

 

As the straps slid down her arms she couldn’t help but notice how hesitant he was. This wasn’t the same man that had teased her the week before while they’d been in bed, driving her mad with his kisses and his fingers while she was trying to talk to Lance on the phone. Now he was unsure of how and where he could touch her and it hurt her to see him like that. 

 

The bra slipped from her arms and he quickly put it out of sight behind him. She shivered from the cold, not from being scared but he froze in place, cloth halfway to her shoulder with a stricken look on his face. 

 

Her hand had wrapped around his wrist before she knew she had moved, guiding the cloth to her skin, “It’s okay,” 

 

His eyes slammed shut, and together they finished wiping away the last traces of her ordeal, at least the ones that could be removed just then. The bruises would fade, but she’d carry the scars of the past week for the rest of her life. 

 

Oliver let the cloth drop to his side when he was finished and the only sound in the room was their breaths. With hands that refused to stop trembling she reached for the button of the jeans. 

 

“Do you want me to go?” he said suddenly, the words sounding louder than they were, “Or turn around, or…?”

 

She almost laughed at the absurdity of the question because she was sitting in front of him naked from the waist up. 

 

He must have taken her silence badly. The next thing she knew he was on his feet, pacing in the small space between the table and the chairs that sat opposite the couch. One hand rubbed over the back of his neck as he moved, his steps jerky and almost uncoordinated which was so unlike him. “God, Felicity I don’t...I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I don’t know what you need,” his voice was broken and desperate,

 

She was standing and taking halting steps his direction before he paused and noticed her, reddened eyes making her freeze as she clutched the shirt to her stomach although she made no move to cover herself. 

 

“You are,” she told him, “You’re all I need,” 

 

All the air seemed to leave his lungs at once and his shoulders slumped forward with the action. “Just tell me if I’m not. Tell me.” 

 

“I just need you,” she whispered as she took two more steps until she could touch him. 

 

His arms wrapped around him, enveloping her fully. 

 

She needed his touch and his presence and his scent. Each of her senses needed to be able to ground themselves with him as an anchor. 

 

With strong warm hands running up and down her back and the sound of his heartbeat under her ear she felt her eyes becoming heavy. 

 

She swayed only slightly when Oliver pulled back far enough to take the shirt from her. He murmured assurances into her hair as he carefully slid it up her injured arm and then the other. She concentrated on keeping her balance when he had to step away to do up the buttons, one of her hands coming out to hold onto his forearm, feeling the play of the muscles underneath as his deft fingers made quick work. 

 

She’d slept so much, or been sedated for so long she wouldn’t have thought she’d want to sleep again for a week. But a weariness had settled over her she couldn’t seem to fight and all she wanted to do was curl up in Oliver’s perfect bed with him surrounding her. 

 

He must have sensed her state, “Come on, lets finish this and then you can rest.” he said as his hand cupped her cheek. 

 

She nodded once and reached down under the tail of the shirt to find the button of the jeans although she thought she could wiggle out of them the way they were with how loose they fit. 

 

As he knelt in front of her she braced a hand on his shoulder, biting back a small gasp when his palm lightly gripped the side of her thigh as she stepped out of the jeans. Thin trails of heat spread from where he was lightly touching around the stitches in her leg. “Do you want these out?” he asked throatily,

 

She shook her head no, “They can stay another day, right? I just…” she didn’t want to bother with it then and Oliver understood. Without another word he tossed the jeans towards the table when he stood and before she could second guess her action she stripped the cheap cotton underwear off as well; the last scrap of clothing that she’d been forced to put on. 

 

Both his hands cradled her face now as he looked down at her with an almost unreadable expression. Tears pricked her eyes and she wondered if he’d ever be able to look at her again without that half-destroyed visage. 

 

“You should eat,” he said almost sadly, “I can have them bring something up--”

 

“No, I’m okay,” the thought of food made her stomach roll. Even though she knew she needed food she also knew she couldn’t handle it right then. 

 

“Felicity…” he began imploringly, thumbs stroking over her cheekbones, avoiding the bruises that made his eyes darken,

 

“Oliver,” she countered, “I just...I’ll eat tomorrow, I promise,” 

 

His breath brushed over her face as he lowered his forehead to hers, lips trailing along her hairline, “Okay,” he conceded,

 

“I need you to hold me, that’s all,” she admitted as fresh tears flooded her eyes,

 

He gathered her back to him, his grip almost too tight but she didn’t care. 

 

“Get in bed, I’ll be right there,” he said as he stepped back, quickly pinching the bridge of his nose as he made to head towards his closet,

 

But she couldn’t seem to let him out of her sight and as he stepped past her she reached out and grabbed the end of his shirt. 

 

Oliver turned in surprise, looking down to see how tight she held on and without a word slid his hand over hers until she let go. With their fingers intertwined they silently made their way to the closet.  

 

He didn’t release her until they were inside and she sat on the plush ottoman with her legs tucked up under her as he pulled out lightweight sweatpants and a grey t-shirt. 

 

The small noise of protest that came from the back of her throat when she saw he planned on wearing a shirt surprised both of them. He didn’t look at her as he put the shirt back, but she did see the corner of his lips tick up and it made her heart flip. 

 

That small bit of normalcy lifted some of the shadow that had seemed to shroud her. 

 

He remained quiet as he held out a hand for her to take and pulled her gently from her seat. She pressed herself into his side and sighed as his arm wrapped around her back and tugged her close. 

 

When he pulled the covers of the bed back she climbed in immediately, flashing back to the first time they’d shared the bed and how she’d tried to stay as far away from him as possible. Now she deliberately didn’t go past the middle as she waited for him to join her. 

 

She lay stiff and anxious until the mattress dipped and then he was sliding one arm beneath her, the other wrapping around her from behind, careful of her arm. 

 

Her heart flipped and she shifted backwards until she was molded into him, no part of her not touching some part of him and it was almost overwhelming because this was what she had wanted and needed. 

 

She didn’t feel weak, or scared, or have a need to hide. Instead she felt loved, and safe, and protected and for the first time in so long she allowed herself to drop her guard, to trust he was there to take care of her. 

 

Oliver’s face was pressed tight into her neck, she could feel the rough scratch of his stubble along the top of her shoulder and she welcomed it. His arms overlapped across her middle, leaving her completely enclosed by his body, her head pillowed on his bicep. 

 

“I couldn’t stay in here while you were gone,” his voice was strained, like he wasn’t sure he should be talking but he didn’t have a choice, “We used the computers but...I couldn’t sleep in here, not without out you,” 

 

Her eyes blurred and she found herself turning her head just slightly to purse her lips against his skin. “I wanted this...I wanted this so badly. This bed, and this shirt, and you…” she swallowed thickly and kept talking before she could make herself stop, “One morning I woke up and I thought I was here, I thought you were touching my hair and I was so happy,” she didn’t need to finish the story. He knew she hadn’t been there and he knew what she’d woken up to. 

 

He held her tighter, dropping small kisses along her jaw, up to her temple, then into her hair before he placed his head on the pillow and let his chin rest on her crown, and she thought he might need to hold her as much as she did. 

 

“Just rest,” he said, 

 

“What if I can’t?” 

 

“I’m right here, I’m not leaving,” he assured her and she wished she could trust she wouldn’t be plagued by nightmares as soon as she shut her eyes, “Rest,”

 

With a sigh she settled against him even further and fixed her eyes on a small scar on his arm. She let her mind go blank and drifted. It could have been hours or only minutes that she lay there just trying to exist, to not think on what had happened or what she’d done. 

 

Oliver’s presence was the only thing that allowed her to do that, it was the only thing that let her feel safe enough. And for a little while at least when she did fall asleep she didn’t dream at all. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: A thousand thanks to everyone who is sticking out this story! I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me. This is another heavy chapter but a very necessary one. I hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear what you think!!**

 

 

When the dreams did come it wasn’t Nate she shot over and over again.  Since she’d woken up on the plane safe in Oliver’s arms she’d done whatever she could not to think about what had happened in the motel room. But when she finally shut her eyes to rest her subconscious made itself known.

Terrible images plagued her. She was on that bed again staring up, except instead of Nate it was her family and friends and each time she didn’t stop, she still shot them.

She could feel the weight of the gun in her hand, hear the retort of the bullet leaving the chamber, smell the sharp mixture of blood and gunpowder in the air. No matter how hard she fought she still pulled the trigger each and every time.

Like she was trapped in her body with no control over her own actions it replayed, cycling through her parents. Always her mother first, wide blue eyes frozen open in shock so much like Nate’s had been. Her father with his hands outstretched as if he could somehow stop her. They didn’t threaten her, didn’t hold a knife above her heart, but she was still forced to watch as she killed them.

Her own screams echoed in her head and she didn’t know if she was making any sound. She knew she was in the motel room but everything beyond the ones who mattered most to her was grey and blurred, as if the details of the space weren’t important. The images of her parents faded away only to be replaced by Digg.

She fought as hard as she could, shaking her head, yelling ‘no’ until her throat should have been burning. It felt too real. Some distant part of her mind knew it hadn’t happened like that but none of that seemed to make a difference. Her heart twisted, stomach churning as she looked up at Digg. He stood stoic, only his eyes betraying any emotion as she watched him fall over and over again.

When Digg became transparent and wavey around the edges she knew who would be next. A numbness settled over her but somehow she watched her arm raise and level the gun at Oliver.

He was the only one who spoke. His face was wrenched in horrible disbelief, “Felicity, why? I trusted you.” he pleaded, not understanding why she was hurting him, “I loved you! Don’t do this!”

But each time she fired, the sound of the shot was drowned out by her hysteria.

Oliver staggered backwards, hands clutched to his chest as blood spilled over his fingers, mouth gaping. “You’re a killer!”

His face flickered, like a special effect in a movie, morphing into Nate’s face and then back again to Oliver.

She woke up screaming his name, blinking furiously as she tried to see in the darkened room. For a long moment she didn’t know if she was awake. She was once again laying in a bed, looking up at Oliver as he leaned over her. She was certain her arm was going to raise and she was going to watch him die by her own hand once more.

His mouth was moving, eyes intense and focused on nothing but her and like a great sucking vacuum she snapped out of the last traces of her nightmare and knew she was awake and in Oliver’s bed, and that he was very much alive.

“Felicity! You’re safe! It was just a bad dream,” he said for what she assumed was not the first time. He held her wrists, crossed over her middle as he straddled her hips. The shirt she wore was rucked up past her waist, her lack of underwear of no concern as she stared at him in shock.

He was alive. She hadn’t killed him. It had only been a dream.

“Oh god! Oliver...I…” tears streamed down the sides of her face, trickling behind her ears as they disappeared into her hair, “I killed you! I killed everyone!” she choked out, still able to see her mother’s stricken face as she lay dying.

The grip he had on her wrists was strong but not bruising and she wondered if she’d been striking out in her sleep. He let go of one arm and then the other, hands moving up to cup her face as his thumbs did their best to dam the flow of her tears.

 

“You didn’t kill me, I’m right here. It was a nightmare,” his voice was somehow calm and she shut her eyes tight and let the words surround her, but it was a mistake. She was immediately assaulted by the images of her not only her dreams but her reality. The spray of Monroe’s blood across Nate’s face, the way he’d calmly told her she was going to die, the manic sightless eyes that held a knife over her heart and would have plunged it through skin and bone with no hesitation if she hadn’t fired the gun. It all came back to the look of total surprise Nate had as he’d dropped the knife and fell backwards, like he didn’t think she had it in her.

She shook her head back and forth, as she fought to see Oliver clearly but failed. Her vision was so blurred with tears that refused to stop it was like trying to see through leaded glass. In the low light of the still dark room she could just discern his outline but no details. “I did though! I killed my parents! I watched my mother die, and Digg! I killed Digg and then--” she did choke that time, hardly able to speak over the sobs that were fighting to break free, “Then you were there and I couldn’t stop myself. I shot you Oliver. I shot you just like I shot Nate. You called me a killer and you were right!”

At that she fell apart, only vaguely aware as Oliver shifted them both, gathering her to his chest. He turned and sat back against the headboard with her pulled into his lap. His arms wrapped around her almost painfully as he held her tight.

Shame, guilt, and fear rolled through her and she let them. For the first time she was honestly facing what she’d done and it frightened her more than anything she’d ever experienced. She knew now what she could do, what she was capable of and it rocked her, leaving her feeling like everything that made her the person she had been had been stripped away. All that was left was a husk of a shell; empty and hollow, more void than substance.

Violence had never been her way, she’d always tried to talk her way out of a situation or just walk away. The training she’d received from Digg was more to try and protect herself and get free than to do any real damage.

She knew she bore some responsibility for what Oliver did. She gave him information, told him where to go, created technology that allowed him to track down and stop those they went up against and sometimes that ended in people being hurt and even killed. But she had never directly been the one with blood on her hands. It was a distinction that she now felt acutely in her soul, a gnawing, relentless ache that had her in its grasp and refused to release her.

How was she supposed to go forward knowing what she had done? She’d killed a man. Her cousin. Her family. If she could do that…

A deep shudder wracked her entire body and Oliver only held her closer, his hand stroking reassuringly over her hair as he whispered lost words she couldn’t hear. She didn’t deserve his comfort. She’d done something terrible, something unforgivable.

Chest heaving, her breaths too shallow she struggled to move from his hold. “No! No! Let me go! I’m no good, Oliver. I killed him! I killed him and I could kill you and Digg and everyone I love and I can’t--”

His arms loosened, sending a pang through her she couldn’t understand, but she took the opportunity and scrambled from the bed, stumbling a few steps away, one hand covering her mouth to try and stem the sobs she couldn’t seem to stop, the other dragging tangled hair from her face.

She made it only five feet from the bed before she froze, not knowing what to do next. Her mind buzzed with images and thoughts. Flashes of her shooting Nate, only to be replaced by the sight of Oliver looking down at her with tears in his eyes when he realized she wasn’t dead. It left her confused and rattled. Her heart thudded so hard against her ribs she thought they might break and she found herself pressing a fist against her sternum as if she could stop it from happening.

A low light was turned on behind her and she whirled with a gasp to see Oliver sitting on the edge of the bed, brows knitted together looking more worried than she’d ever seen him.

When he rose to his feet she let out a half-garbled noise and backed up, hand coming out to keep him away. “No! I’m just going to hurt you. I need to leave.” her words sounded frantic and half mad even to her but it was the only thing that made sense just then. “I need to go. I…” without another word she turned the other way and started for the closet.

She should have known he wasn’t going to just let her go, but there was nothing in her head just then beyond getting out, leaving, doing whatever she had to do to keep him safe. When he caught her about the waist with one strong arm she fought back, fists flailing, feet kicking until he captured both her wrists and secured them to her chest.

With him wrapped around her from behind she couldn’t move, her breath coming in desperate pants until she was starting to see stars and she couldn’t draw enough air to scream anymore protests.

“Felicity, you have to calm down or you’re going to hurt yourself,” he said forcefully,

“Let me go. You have to let me go,” her voice was pitiful now, weak and breathless and she sagged against his arms, no longer able to feel her legs under her,

“I’m never letting you go.” the conviction with which he spoke burned through her, making her heart flip and she physically shook her head because she couldn’t hear that.

She opened her mouth to protest, to repeat again what she’d already said but all that came out was a small cry.

“Do you think I’m a killer?” he asked, a lower octave than she’d ever heard from him before,

Immediately she shook her head again, “No,” she managed to gasp out,

“I’ve killed people to save you, Felicity, to save Thea, to save Diggle, to save myself. I’ve killed for revenge, and for justice, and for mercy, and sometimes because I didn’t have a choice. But I’ve never killed anyone because I wanted to, or because I enjoyed it. That’s what a killer is. What you did was self-defense. It was your life or his. Period. And in a split second decision you chose yourself, and no one will fault you for that, especially not me.”

“But-”

“No!” she felt the force of the one word as it traveled through his chest and hers, “You are still you. Yes, you ended someone’s life, but you didn’t have a choice. You are not a bad person. You are still the same remarkable woman who has saved my life a thousand times over.”

There was a long beat of silence where she tried to understand what he was saying.

“Did he give you a choice?”

“No,” tears dripped from the end of her nose and splashed on Oliver’s forearm. She watched them roll across his skin one after the other until there were so many she had to squeeze her eyes shut and stop looking.

“Tell me what happened,”

She gasped and tried to turn but he held her in place, and her pulse began to rise again.

“Tell me,”

It took her two attempts to actually force the words out, “I tried to talk to him. I tried to talk him out of it. But he said he had to kill me and then himself for it to all be over, to finally put Jenny to rest,” a tremor ran through Oliver and she unknowingly burrowed closer to him, “He didn’t care though and that’s when I knew for certain what he was going to do. And…”

“What did you do?” he asked gently,

“I…” she gulped as she remembered, “I told him I wasn’t going to let him put me down like that, that I was going to fight. So I did. I ran and I fought,”

He was suddenly letting go of her wrists and turning her so she faced him, once again he wiped her wet face and then tilted her chin up until she met his eyes, “Why did you fight?”

There was an intensity in him she’d never witnessed before and she could feel the way he almost vibrated as he stared down at her, “Why did you fight, Felicity?”

He said it like it was the most important question he’d ever ask her.

Time hung suspended between them, neither of them breathing or blinking and then the answer erupted from her throat, louder and more forceful than she thought possible.

“Because I didn’t want to die!”

His mouth covered hers so quick and so desperate their lips weren’t even lined up properly but he didn’t seem to care. The kiss was bruising and almost brutal but it stoked a fire within her that had been absent and she welcomed it.

Like a rubber band being snapped she became aware of everything. Her ears felt like they popped and she could hear the sounds of her half pants and a low moan from Oliver. The warmth of his skin could be felt under her fingers, and tingles of electricity shot across her skin as he touched her.

His hands were everywhere, her hair, the nape of her neck, grasping her hip and then sliding under the shirt all the way up her back as his tongue stroked hot over hers. Each new touch brought her back more and more.

All the horrible thoughts and images that had plagued her were being burned away, her last words echoing in her head. She wanted to live. She chose to live. And right then she needed to feel alive.

A switch had been flipped inside her and she had a new purpose. She needed Oliver. She needed him to prove to her she was still alive, that what defined her hadn’t died when she killed Nate, and she needed proof that Oliver was alive as well.

Blinding need almost consumed her. She wanted him, all of him. Around her, inside her, touching every part of her and making her feel everything.

She dragged her mouth from his, nipping teeth over his jaw and down his throat as her hands pushed into his chest, fingers spread wide so she could feel as much of him at once as was possible.

Small whimpers and the high catch of her breath were the only sounds she was capable of making as his palm spanned her ribcage and moved north, covering her breast as she surged onto her toes. A burst of white hot electricity shot straight to her center, her nails digging into his pectoral muscles at the sensation.

She sucked the hollow of his throat as he pinched and pulled on her nipple, his head falling to the side to give her better access, the low groan he emitted sending a rush of power through her.

“God, Oliver...I need you,” she gasped into him, raising her good arm up to wrap around the back of his neck and draw him in even closer. “I need you, please,” the other hand ran across the edge of his waistband before she dipped under the elastic and grasped his hard length.

He hissed her name through his teeth, his hips pushing into her as she stroked him. It was beyond desperation, beyond reason. She wanted him to take her shirt off, to move to the bed, or the floor, or the couch, the location didn’t matter. All that mattered was how alive he made her feel.

“Oliver, please,” she cried, the pulsing flow of blood to her center making her lift one leg and wrap it around his thigh, anything that could give her the contact she had to have.

When his hand dropped to cover her wrist, and still her movements she thought he was too close, and she grinned, looking up at him through her lashes. His eyes were shut tight, jaw clenched as he brought her hand up to lay against his chest.

“Felicity, “ he bit out, so low and gravelly it made her heart skip a beat, “we can’t. Not like this. Not now,”

She barely heard what he said, shaking her head, “You don’t mean that. You want this too, I know you do. I felt it,” she said letting her voice drop low on purpose. She tried to slip her hand out from under his but he held on tight and pulled back so he could look at her better,

“No. You’re too upset, this isn’t right.”

She stilled like she’d been doused with cold water and looked at him in shock, foot landing back on the floor with a jolt, “No, you...I need you. I need to feel something good!”

Brows so knitted together he looked like he was in pain he leaned over her, “It’s not right, not like this,”

A wave of anger overtook her, hot and fast, filling her veins and making her try and push back from his hold, “So he gets this too?” she spat, as Oliver flinched, “He’s in my head, and I can’t shake him, but for a few minutes I was able to forget. I just want to forget and feel something else but you can’t do that for me?”

“Felicity--” his soft tone only infuriated her more,

“I just need you to fuck me!” she exploded, chest heaving as her breath was out of her control,

His hand clamped onto her shoulders, only just avoiding her wound as his darkened eyes bore into her, “And that is exactly why I’m not!”

She twisted, trying to get away but all it did was send a flare of pain down her arm.

 

“I am not going to let our first time be like this. I thought I lost you, Felicity. I saw you on that bed and I thought you were dead! I thought that once again I had been too late, that my failures had led to another person I love being taken from me. I spent a week expecting every phone call to be the one that told me they had found your body! And I am still not sure I believe you’re here right now.” he didn’t try to hide anything from her, every ounce of pain and anguish he’d experience was on full display for her to see, “So I will not let that monster ruin anything else, and if we did this right now you would regret it for the rest of your life and so would I.”

They stood, silently facing each other across a divide that Nate had created, hearts pounding, breaths labored. When his words hit her she felt like she’d been punched in the gut. All the air left her lungs and she collapsed forward, careful hands catching her as guilt, and embarrassment, and anger all fought within her.

“Oh god, Oliver…” she mumbled into him, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,”

He only had a few seconds to run a comforting hand over her head before her stomach rolled, bile rising in her throat so swift she didn’t have time to say a word as she spun and headed for the bathroom.

She felt him behind her but didn’t look as she pushed open the door to the bathroom and then the door to the smaller room where the toilet was. The marble floor was cold beneath her knees as she fell, one hand catching her descent on the wall just before Oliver had her around the waist.

Her empty stomach heaved, causing painful spasms to tear through her abdomen as her body tried to expel food that wasn’t there. Oliver gathered her hair with one hand anyways and she rested her cheek on the cold seat until it passed.

She shivered as her clammy skin cooled, the nausea finally abating only to leave her shaking and weak. Hair brushed her face as Oliver let it go, his broad palm rubbing soothing circles on her back.

When he spoke his words echoed in the small space, seeming much louder than they were. Or maybe it was because of what he said.

“I love you,”

She was sure her heart stopped. Moving slowly in case she’d heard wrong she lifted her head and turned until her knees were pressed against his leg.

He sat with his back against the wall, one arm propped on his bent leg, the other now resting on her waist. But his eyes told her everything she needed to know. He’d said it and he meant it.

“I love you,” she replied, voice much clearer than she expected,

“Good,” there was just the slightest quiver of his lip and she couldn’t fight the smile that cracked her face,

He answered by reaching for her and pulling her onto his lap. She didn’t resist, curling into him readily so she could feel the warmth of his skin under her. They were quiet as he ran fingers through her hair. She traced absent patterns across his chest and finally with a half a laugh realized they were still on the floor in front of the toilet.

“You’re quite the romantic, Mr. Queen,” She’d said it before she knew what she was doing. It was the first ‘normal’ thing she’d said since she’d been taken.

When his hand stilled for a second she knew he’d recognized it as well, “I aim to please,” he replied throatily,

Felicity pulled back and looked at him in shock, “Did you just make a corny archery joke?”

“You get one,” he said, but she heard the trace of lightness in his tone and it made tears prick her eyes as she laid her head back down and pressed her face into his neck.

His lips brushed her forehead, and then his hand was cupping her cheek as he leaned down to kiss her. She turned her head at the last second, his stubble scraping over her jaw instead.

“Hey,” he said softly, tilting her chin up again in a second attempt to kiss her,

“Oliver, I just got sick, let me brush my teeth,” she protested,

He sighed and let his hand fall to her stomach, “You didn’t technically get sick because you haven’t eaten anything,” there was only the smallest amount of reproach in his tone.

“I still had my head in the toilet. I need to brush my teeth,”

With a small snort of resignation he slipped his arms under her and rose to his feet in one smooth move, not giving her a chance to climb to her feet.

“I can walk, you know,”

“I know,” was all he said as he strode back into where the sinks were.

He set her down carefully, letting her body slide against his, tugging the shirt down as he did but a lick of heat still shot up her spine as he brushed over her bare hip. She let her hands rest low on his waist, remembering how frantic she’d been to have him earlier. That need had calmed and she knew he had been right. It hadn’t been driven by love or passion. She didn’t want their first time to be an attempt to banish ghosts, neither of them deserved that.

She pressed a quick kiss to the center of his chest and turned around already reaching to open the drawer where she’d kept her toothbrush when her eyes caught the mirror and she saw herself for the first time since she’d left the motel.

At first all she could see was her too pale face, the dark circles under her eyes, and her abnormally colorless lips. The cheap makeup she’d been forced to use was long gone except for a few smudges of eyeliner that had been smeared and streaked by too many tears.

When she took in the entire image it was her hair she couldn’t look away from. The darkened locks were all she could see. Everything in the room narrowed down to only that. She could no longer see Oliver behind her or the counter before her. Her hair was wrong and she needed it to be fixed.

His hand on her shoulder as he turned her back towards him, sharply saying her name made her jump and then blink rapidly. “Felicity! What’s wrong?”

Her heart beat in triple time as panic started to swirl in her chest. She shut her eyes and forced herself to take long, controlled breaths. She didn’t want to do this again but her nerves were suddenly on edge and she knew it wouldn’t take much to send her over the precipice.

“My hair. I need to fix my hair,”

He sucked in a harsh breath and she felt his hands hovering on either side of her head like he wanted to touch her hair but wasn’t sure if he should.

“Okay, we’ll get you an appointment soon. I’m sure Thea can--”

“No. Now. I need it fixed now,” she cut him off quickly, unable to explain why she couldn’t wait.

He hesitated and she opened her eyes to see him looking more unsure than she’d ever seen him look before.

“It’s three in the morning...I don’t…”

Panicked flutterings made her breath catch and she clasped a hand low on her throat as a strangled noise came out against her own volition. The rising bubble of hysteria was making her chest flush and causing her to break out in a cold sweat, “Oliver...I need it fixed. I can’t have it anymore. I need it gone.”

She turned in his arms and braced her hands on the counter, staring at the hair that was so wrong. Even though she hadn’t been awake and she didn’t remember she could somehow feel Nate’s hands on her, dyeing her hair, rinsing it out...It made her shudder in revulsion.

“Okay, come on. You’re not staying in here,” he declared, taking her by the wrist and pulling her from the mirror.

She followed him into the bedroom all the way back to the bed with the crumpled sheets still twisted and piled in a knot against the footboard. He guided her to sit on the mattress as he picked up his phone and began to type out a text.

“Maybe Digg can get one of the housestaff to make a run.” he said with his head still down, “We’ll figure something out,” when he looked up the determination on his face reminded her of when he was about to go out on a mission.

She reached out and twined her fingers with his, a tight lipped smile of appreciation on her face.

It hadn’t been thirty seconds after Oliver had hit send when there was a quiet knock on the door.

“Come in,” he called and the door opened to reveal Digg,

His eyes went straight to Felicity, taking her in from head to toe, like he had to be sure she was still there in one piece. A swell of emotion filled her chest and her immediate need to fix her hair was temporarily forgotten as she found herself letting go of Oliver’s hand and crossing the room as quick as she could to meet him halfway.

Digg’s arms opened as she approached and she gave him a watery smile as she wrapped herself as best she could around him.

“Hey girl, rough night?” he said holding her tight,

She just nodded, not able to speak over the lump in her throat, wondering if he’d been able to hear her screams. The whole house probably had.

“It’ll never go away completely, but it’ll get better. I promise.”

“Promise?” she mumbled against his shirt,

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Never,” she answered immediately,

“Then trust me. You’ll come through this. You’re not alone,”

“I never was,”

She felt his exhale cross her forehead as she looked up through blurry eyes to see him trying to hide his emotions and failing.

“No, you never were,” he whispered into her hair before hugging her for another minute and then loosening his hold so she could step back.

Digg looked to Oliver who had come forward to join them, before turning back to her. “I made some calls from the plane, thought you might want to take care of this as soon as possible.” he said as he reached out and gently tugged a lock of her hair, “There should be supplies under the sink,”

As she gaped at Digg in astonishment Oliver wrapped his arm around her shoulders and tugged her into his side, “Thank you,” he said simply, but she heard so much more in his tone.

Digg lifted one shoulder in a half shrug but they all knew how much his actions meant.

“Need anything else?” he asked quietly and she hastily shook her head, “Okay then, get some sleep tonight. Both of you,” he said with a pointed look before he left the room.

As the door clicked shut Oliver turned to pull her into him again, “I wouldn’t have made it through this without him,” he admitted, and she blew a long breath through pursed lips because she believed that. She didn’t want to imagine what Digg had gone through to keep Oliver somewhat sane and functioning.

“Come on, let’s do this, and get you back in bed, Digg’s orders.” he gave her a half rakish grin and she couldn’t help but smile in return.

She was fine until they were in the bathroom again and she was caught by her reflection.

Oliver followed her gaze and took her by the elbow until the side of her leg brushed the edge of the tub. “Sit here, I’ll find it, okay,”

She watched as he opened two cabinets before he found what Digg had called ahead for. Oliver pulled out a plastic shopping bag and began taking box after box of hair dye out. There were at least a dozen, all different brands and shades of blonde.

Both hands came up to cover her mouth in shock as she stared at the variety sitting on the counter.

Oliver looked affected as well and took his time throwing the bag away before he came back and knelt in front of her. “Do you know which one?”

His hand rubbed small circles on her bare knee as she considered her choices.

It had been years since she used boxed dye. Going to a salon was one of the few personal priorities she’d kept since joining on with Oliver, but when she had been a poor college student she hadn’t been above doing it herself. However, staring at the boxes reminded her of finding the one Nate had left in her bathroom and a cold shiver of fear rolled down her back.

“Doesn’t matter,” she said quickly and looked away, “Any of them,”

“Okay,”

She expected him to just grab the closest one but he rose and stood in front of them, picking up one box and then another before putting it down and selecting yet a third. A fresh wave of tears came unbidden as she realized he was trying to find the best match.

When he’d chosen one and set it to the side he packed the rest up and placed them back in the cabinet, out of sight.

“Do you need help or…”

She got to her feet and padded to his side, hand trembling as she picked up the dye. He’d done well, if was almost an exact match. She knew it would be hard to cover everything by herself, but it would be enough where she’d be able to look at herself without being reminded of what had happened. There would be plenty of other things that would do that she was certain.

With a wince she gave her left arm an experimental raise to see if she’d be able to use it but she had to stop before her elbow got to ninety degrees with a stifled cry of pain.

Oliver lowered her arm and took the box from her, “Just give me a second,”

A minute later he was rolling in the chair from the desk, “Sit,” he ordered and didn’t wait to see if she listened as he hastily tore open the box.

For almost ten minutes she sat, legs crossed in the seat, fiddling with the tails of the too large shirt and tracing the already healing cuts along her forearm as he read the directions at least five times.

“It says to do a skin test and let it wait for twenty four hours…” he looked stricken, as if he’d somehow failed her and her heart ached for him because she knew he was willing to do whatever he could to make her better.

“We can skip that, it’s okay,” she assured him and the release of his shoulders as he slumped forward showed her how worried he had been that he wouldn’t be able to fix this for her immediately.

“You don’t have to do this,” she began, “I can probably do it with one hand,” her guilt at having to rely on him so much had surged to the surface.

He turned with a bottle in each hand, ready to mix the two solutions, no mask in place, “I can do it. If you want me to,”

At her nod he got back to work. It took him almost twice as long as it would have taken her but she didn’t say a word. He did an admirable job, only needing occasional direction from her. The fumes from the chemicals made her blanch and remember waking up in the motel and realizing what Nate had done. She forced herself to keep her eyes open, watching Oliver as he moved around her. His presence was the constant reminder that she wasn’t there anymore, she had made it out.

He was gentle, carefully parting her hair and working the color through, making sure every strand was coated. His focus was intense and she wondered if he didn’t need this as much as she did. He hadn’t shied away from touching her hair or avoided looking at her, but it had to have been a shock when he’d first seen her and the light brown where bright blonde should have been.

When the bottle was empty he stripped off the too tight gloves and gave her an appraising look and a nervous tick of his lips.

He cleared his throat and picked up the instructions again, “Says to wait twenty minutes,”

“Some of its been on there longer than that, we don’t have to wait that long,” she told him and he nodded.

Neither of them spoke as he cleaned up. Her eyes grew heavier as she waited not even knowing when she started to fall asleep.

Oliver softly saying her name made her jerk upright, wide eyes darting around until she saw him leaning over her, “Hey, it’s okay, it’s just me,”

She clamped a hard hand on his arm and waited for her heart to slow down. “Sorry, I…”

One hand stroked over her cheek, “Don’t apologize,”

He helped her up, holding on to her as she swayed slightly, a heavy weariness weighing her down.

“I’m so tired,” she said quietly, causing him to let out a huff through his nose, no doubt thinking they should have waited until later to do her hair.

“Can you help me rinse it out?” she asked, with a nod towards the giant shower, not noticing for several beats how his hand had tightened at her waist.

Her cheeks flushed when her brain caught up with her mouth, but he wouldn’t let her feel self-conscious. “Let’s finish this, okay?” he walked her over to the shower and reached in to turn it on.

Her fingers found the buttons of the shirt but didn’t seem to want to cooperate. Oliver’s hands covered hers and then took over, working each one free until the shirt hung open down her front.

She slid her good arm out first and let him tug the left sleeve slowly off until she stood before him naked.

The shirt fell to the floor and he didn’t hide the drop of his eyes. Her breaths came in shallow little bursts as he came even closer until they were pressed together. She sighed at the contact.

Oliver cupped her face in his hands, smiling down at her, “You’re gorgeous, and I will have you Felicity Smoak.” he declared, instantly sending swirls of heat through her belly, “But you’re going to get better first,”

Before she could reply he was leaning in for a kiss and she just got a hand up in time to lay a finger over his lips, “I still haven’t brushed my teeth,” she reminded him,

“I don’t care,” he countered, eyes flashing dangerously for a second and when her hand fell away he placed a soft kiss to her lips that made her want more.

With a heavy swallow she turned and grabbed the handle of the shower door, trying to keep everything hidden as she heard the distinctive sound of Oliver stripping off his pants behind her.

“I probably look like a drowned cat,” she said quickly. Her hair slicked full of dye, pale skin, and slightly thinner frame couldn’t have been that attractive of a sight.

As she opened the door he was right there, leaning in to drop a kiss to her shoulder, making her shiver, “Drowned cats are my favorite,”

She stepped inside with a small shake of her head, her traitorous thoughts constantly telling her she should turn around because he was naked and in the shower only inches from her.

When she did turn he lifted his eyebrows as if he was surprised she’d waited that long, but she met his eyes and mimicked his actions from earlier when he hadn’t tried to hide looking at her.

Her eyes flicked back to his and her suddenly dry mouth betrayed her. “I really need to get better soon,” she blurted out,

Oliver grinned and stepped closer, walking her backwards until the warm spray was hitting her side. She watched as his eyes went from light blue to a darker hue, “I agree,”

After that there wasn’t much talking. He took care to keep her bandaged arm out of the water as much as possible. With the water flowing over her head and his strong fingers massaging the dye out she felt herself getting sleepier and sleepier.

Her eyes had long fell shut and she let herself lean against him, being directed one way and then another as he removed every physical trace of her ordeal. Silent tears leaked unseen down her cheeks when he washed her body as well, taking care with the scrapes and bruises she’d amassed.  He had knelt down to reach her shins when suddenly he let out a shuddering breath and wrapped his arms around her, head coming to rest against her belly.

Felicity let out a soft ‘oh’ of surprise before she dropped her hands to his head and quietly ran her fingers through his wet hair and over the tight muscles in his neck. She hoped at some point he could share what had happened while she was gone. She didn’t know if she was ready to hear it right then, or if he was ready to tell her, but one day they might be.

His lips brushed her skin and then he was standing, hands running up her body as he did, leaving small sparks of heat in their wake. A hum of approval vibrated in her chest and she swayed sleepily, enjoying the way his thumb was rubbing a circular pattern on her hip.

“Give me a minute and we’ll be done,” he said quietly,

She watched unabashedly as he washed himself, having to curl her fingers into her palm to keep from reaching out in an attempt to help.

Soon enough he was finished, and flicking the water off. He held his hand out to her in invitation and she took it, waiting as he reached out and grabbed a towel.

He made sure she was dry and covered before he got one for himself and then they were standing in front of the mirror again, except this time the real Felicity was staring back.

A trembling hand reached up and touched the newly colored locks. Even though it was still wet she could tell it would be close to how she had it before. Not perfect, but definitely good enough.

“Thank you,” she mouthed, unable to look away from his gaze in the reflection. Oliver just pressed himself closer and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, dropping his head to her neck, his fuller than usual stubble making her squirm.

They stood like that for a long moment before he returned to his full height and looked at her again in the mirror. “Come on, you need to get back in bed,”

He towed her to the closet first where he pulled another one of his dress shirts off a hanger.

Once again she let him slip it on her and do up the buttons, it somehow felt like when she helped him with his mask before he left on a mission. The shirt was a sort of armor that couldn’t block out all attacks but gave her more peace of mind than anything.

When he’d donned a pair of boxer briefs he looked at her with a soft expression, “Better?” he asked, hand coasting over her head as he stepped in front of her,

“Better,” she confirmed, leaning into his touch with a quiet sigh,

Fingers trailed over her arm where the bandage was, “Pain?”

She shook her head, “Not bad,”

He grabbed her fingertips and tugged her with him as they left the closet. She stood back as he straightened the covers and then climbed into the bed immediately. As soon as Oliver was next to her she lay her head on his chest right atop his Bratva tattoo, able to hear the strong beat of his heart beneath her ear.

One arm wrapped around her back, the other holding securely to her hip making her feel safe and warm.

“What if I have that dream again?” she asked in a shaky voice,

He held her tighter and kissed her forehead, “Then we’ll get rid of it,”

His unspoken ‘together’ is what made her shut her eyes and finally fall back asleep.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who is sticking with this story! There's only a few chapters left and I do hope you enjoy every one of them. The continued support and interest for all these months has meant so much to me.**

**Happy reading, and I'd love to know what you think!**

The rest of the night wasn't without nightmares for either of them. Thankfully Felicity only woke to vague feelings of dread and not the horrible images she'd had before. Oliver slept soundly beside her, his arm tightening around her waist as she wrapped one leg around his and pressed her nose into his chest letting his presence lull her back to sleep.

Oliver's dreams were more restless. He woke her by calling her name, head turning back and forth as he mumbled 'no' over and over again. Felicity pushed herself up on her good arm and leaned over him, using her fingers to smooth the lines of tension across his brow. Finally he'd blinked open his eyes and almost seemed to drink her in, like he didn't believe she was there with him.

"I'm here, I'm safe," she whispered as he ghosted calloused pads over her cheek, tracing the bruises so gently she barely felt his touch. It took her telling him twice more and placing a kiss on his lips before he cupped the back of her head and drew her down, tucking her beneath his chin. She lay awake until she felt his breath even out and then fell back asleep herself.

When she woke again, weak early morning light was beginning to fill the room. She was still curled against Oliver's side, neither of them seeming to have moved and she didn't know if it had been from need or exhaustion.

She could tell from the steady rise and fall of his chest under her cheek that he was still asleep and she stayed where she was, not wanting to risk waking him. The covers were around their waists, leaving his chest bare and she couldn't help flexing her fingers ever so slightly on the warm flesh.

Her mind began to tumble, as the realization that she was back and she was safe and their lives would need to return to normal, resonated with her.

Casting now wide eyes around the room she couldn't help but wish they could stay there forever and never leave. Just her and Oliver in their own tiny world. The idea was tempting but she knew it could never happen as much as she might like it to.

Her fingers had begun to draw small swirls and circles over the broad planes of his chest, lazily tracing the defined muscles and scars. She tilted her head down minutely and saw bruises and scrapes she hadn't noticed the night before.

His ribs were a mottled mass of purples and blues that she knew had to hurt. She'd also been around long enough to know he hadn't received those marks from sparring with Digg. Which meant he'd been putting the hood on and going out.

A long exhale passed her lips. He shouldn't have been doing that. She didn't know exactly how bad things had been while she'd been missing but she'd seen enough from Oliver and Digg to know it hadn't been good.

Her fingers were now following the outline of the bruising, gently tracking the uneven pattern up and down his ribcage as she tried not to think about what could have happened to him.

"I didn't have a choice, you know,"

She stilled as she heard him, chest rumbling beneath her ear, his voice gravelly with sleep.

"I had to get out and do something,"

She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off, "I know, it wasn't smart but I had to. I was...drowning, being able to focus on that helped."

"I'm sorry, " she began but he wrapped her tighter and tilted her chin up to look at him,

"Don't. Stop apologizing," his eyes were dark and far too intense for so early in the morning,

Without looking away she reached up and grasped his hand, bringing it to her lips to brush a kiss over his knuckles. "Okay,"

They stared at each other for a long moment before he slipped his hand from hers and let it run carefully over her forehead, the soft caress making her shut her eyes and rest her chin on his chest. "How are you?"

She let out a sigh and shifted back some, causing his hand to fall away from her face, "I'm…" she didn't know what to say, she felt more present than she had the night before, more aware, but she still didn't feel right. It was as if her brain and her body hadn't quite reconnected yet. "I'm here," she settled with that, knowing it was far less than what he was asking,

Oliver didn't reply, not with words at least. He looked at her with that fervently deep stare that made her feel like he was seeing into her very soul. Speaking wasn't necessary, they could say everything that needed to be said without uttering a sound.

Knowing he understood she moved closer, allowing his fingers to resume their soft glide across her cheek and behind her ear, rubbing slow circles into her scalp.

"If you do that I'm going to fall back asleep," she said as her lids shut and her head came back to lay against his chest.

"You could do that. You probably should do that." he kept up the same steady pace that had her in danger of drifting off again,

"What time is it?" she asked easily, sinking into him further with an almost content sigh.

He shifted beneath her and she cracked open one eye to see him reaching for his phone. "Where's my phone? Do I still have one? I don't suppose you ordered me a new one…" she trailed off as he went stiff, tension filling him.

With effort she could feel pouring off of him he settled back on the pillows, "I have your phone. It wasn't damaged in the wreck,"

She couldn't say what it was that tripped her memory but suddenly she was struggling to sit up as she looked at him in mortified shock. "Oh my god! My parents! Oliver...are they here? Have you seen them? Are they at a hotel? They're not at my apartment are they? How could I have forgotten about them….my mom….oh god…"

Felicity had half pushed the covers away and was trying to leave the bed, her momentary feeling of peace completely forgotten when Oliver sat up and wrapped an arm around her to hold her in place.

"Felicity, wait! There's something you need to know!"

It was his tone that made her freeze. He was about to tell her something unexpected, something that she didn't know if she wanted to hear, she could feel it in her bones.

She had one foot pressed into the floor, the other still curled under her as she sat, pulled against him on the side of the bed, waiting for him to tell her.

"They don't know. They never knew."

"What do you mean?" her voice sounded hollow even to her, as a shiver of apprehension made its way down her spine,

He shifted closer, his arm tightening before he spoke as if he was afraid she was going to try and run again. "The F.B.I...they were afraid he was going to escalate the bombings." he held himself like an iron pillar behind her, his tone carefully controlled, "The roadside bomb and your abduction were kept out of the press."

Her stomach dropped at the news, and she shook her head in disbelief, "No...that…But you said my parents didn't know...how?"

His head bowed, coming to rest against the back of her hair and she could feel his heavy exhales as he tried to find the words to explain to her what had happened. "They were deliberately not told. The F.B.I was concerned if he had contact with his parents or if they were helping them-"

"Oh god!" she exclaimed, hand coming up to cover her mouth in horror, "If my parents knew I was missing then…"

"They didn't want to risk information being exchanged,"

"So…"

"Your parents had no idea he took you. They never knew you were gone."

"No...that can't be." it didn't make sense, "My mother...there's no way she would have gone all this time without talking to me. Not with him being here. She would have known something was wrong." Oliver had to be mistaken because none of this was adding up.

A strangled noise came from his throat and he loosened his hold some, pulling back until she wasn't pressed so tight against his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I sent her messages...texts. I sent them from your phone telling her you were busy with work…" he trailed off as she turned to stare at him in shock and surprise, unable to hide the look of betrayal she knew was on her face.

"Oliver-" she breathed out, tears filling the bottoms of her eyes,

"I didn't have a choice," he said quietly, gaze cast on the floor,

For a second she couldn't breathe, "Of course you had a choice! You made her think I was fine when I was being drugged and held by a psychopath!

His head whipped up and she could see how much he had fought himself over it. She could see how it had torn at him. "And what if he had been getting help from his parents? If yours were receiving updates from the F.B.I on your status the risk was too high."

She slid off the bed and stood, looking at him in confusion and hurt, "My parents knowing that I had been kidnapped came down to a risk assessment?" she asked bitterly,

"Don't belittle this! It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I did it to help keep you safe!"

She heard him rise when she turned away, needing a moment to try and calm her thoughts and her emotions. She could feel him behind her, but he didn't try and touch her and she wasn't sure if she was glad about that or not.

When a dark thought crossed her mind she couldn't help the gasp that accompanied it, her arms wrapping around her own waist in support, "Oh my god, he was right. No one was looking for me,"

He had her turned in his arms so fast her hair whipped in her face, "That is not true! We were looking for you! We never stopped! That is all we did. For seven damn days that is all we did so do not say that no one was looking for you!" he looked as if he was ready to break down or just break something and she realized he'd taken her words wrong. She'd meant the news, and the media, not him, never him.

Her hands reached forward to lay against his chest, "I know, I'm sorry, I didn't…"

He crushed her to him, holding her so tight her lungs were constricted but she didn't care. "It was all a mess, Felicity. I'm sorry they didn't know. I'm sorry I'm the one that lied to them, but I'd do it again,"

Her mind was starting to become muddled and the feelings of panic were trying to reemerge. With a deep shuddering exhale she clung to him tighter and pushed those thoughts away to deal with later. As she rested against him a small part of her was grateful her parents didn't know. They hadn't spent the past week wondering if she was going to come home alive or not.

Gradually the almost desperate lock he had on her began to ease until one of his hands was dragging over her hair, trying to smooth down what she knew must have been a mass of wild curls.

She felt him speak before she heard him, the rumble vibrating deep in his chest where her head still lay. "He took you to that diner, didn't he? To try and re-live the day of the accident. That's where you made the phone call from."

Her spine stiffened and his hand paused for a second before it resumed it's comforting motion. With a suddenly dry mouth she tried to speak, "Yeah-"

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready. I just...if you were there and you got to a phone why wouldn't you have run?" She understood his need to know, to understand what she had experienced, but he was hitting directly on some of her worst memories.

Her eyes shut tight she turned her face into his chest, unconsciously attempting to avoid her thoughts. "There was a woman...he threatened to kill her if I wasn't back from the bathroom in five minutes. He had the gun and she had a little girl with her and…" a sob caught in her throat as he took a sharp breath, hand threading through her hair to cup the back of her head, "I didn't know what I was going to do when I left the table, but I knew it was my only chance. I knew he was going to take me back to that motel and…" he was shushing her now but once she'd begun talking she couldn't seem to stop.

"The waitress was in the bathroom. Her name was Debbie, I'll never forget it. She let me use her phone. Oh god, Oliver hearing your voice...all I had wanted for so long was to hear your voice and then I knew I had to hang up. I knew I had to hang up and wash my face and go back out there like nothing had happened or he was going to kill that innocent woman. He'd already killed Monroe because of me and I couldn't let him do it again." she talked faster and faster, the pitch of her voice rising until she couldn't speak any more.

"Okay, okay," Oliver murmured softly into her hair, moving them backwards until he could sit on the bed and draw her up on his lap.

"I wanted to run. So badly. You have to know that. Knowing you were coming...it's what kept me going, it's why I fought so hard. I couldn't let you find me in that room too late. I couldn't do that to you,"

His grip was vise like and the noise that came from him was pained and tortured, "I know why you didn't run. I understand. I'm just sorry we didn't figure it out sooner." she could feel his adam's apple bob against her forehead more than once as he fought for control.

For a long while he just held her and she let him. Her tears dried, his heartbeat slowed under her ear as they tried to find a calm together.

A low buzz from Oliver's phone had her lifting her head as he turned to see who it was. Without a word he reached over and tapped out a response she couldn't see. "Do you want to lay back down?" he asked quietly after he'd brought his hand back and let it lay loose over her thigh.

She nodded once and he didn't say another word as he shifted back and laid them down. Like the night before he was wrapped around her from behind, except this time she turned so she could face him, tucking her nose into his skin so close that when she looked up all she could see was the rest of his chest and shoulder.

One hand slipped back into her hair and began to gently massage her scalp as her eyes slid shut, her breath evening out.

She hadn't intended on falling asleep but when there was a knock on the door she jumped, eyes flying open as Oliver pressed up on one elbow, "Hey, it's okay, it's just Digg." he said quickly dropping a kiss to her temple, "Just stay here I'll be right back,"

Rolling to her back she winced as her arm rubbed against the mattress. Oliver tugged on a pair of pants before he made his way to the door, turning back to look at her before he opened it. Digg stood on the other side holding a large tray which Oliver took from him immediately.

Felicity scooted upwards, slightly self-conscious at being seen laying in bed even if it was only Digg as they approached the bed. Oliver placed the tray at the foot and then both of them stood there looking down at her.

"How you feeling? Get any rest?" Digg asked, hands in his pockets in a relaxed pose that looked a little too forced,

She pushed her messy hair out of her face, her eyes cutting quickly to Oliver and then back to Digg, "Yeah, some."

He gave her an understanding smile like he knew the little sleep she'd had wasn't as restful as it should have been. "Glad to see you looking like you again," he said with a nod to her hair and she couldn't help touching it again.

"Thank you," but she wasn't thanking him for the comment, rather for the effort he'd gone through to ensure she had more than enough selections to choose from and having the foresight to know it was something she would need to have fixed as soon as possible.

Digg just gave her a soft look that said everything she needed to know. Then he shifted his feet and looked between the two of them again, "Look, I know you probably don't want to hear this, either of you, but Agent Jackson is going to be here within the hour."

Oliver immediately stiffened, shoulders going back, hands fisting at his side, "Why?" he growled,

"Not sure, but I assume it's to follow up on some things." he said easily, as if he had an idea of why Jackson was coming back but he didn't want to worry her.

Felicity felt her stomach twist at the idea of having to talk to the agent again. Memories of the day before in the back of the ambulance, alone as she found out Nate had had her for far longer than she'd thought slammed into the forefront of her mind bringing with it a swift relapse of panic that had her trying to push the covers back in an instant.

It was Digg's large hand on her shoulder that stopped her. As she stared at him mutely with wide eyes he knelt in front of her and held her gaze.

"Hey, I know this isn't easy," he began calmly, "But it's part of the process and believe it or not it'll help."

Slowly she felt the panic recede and she tucked a few stray curls behind her ear with a shaking hand as she nodded. She knew he was right but it didn't mean she wanted to do it.

He gave her a squeeze and stood, turning to Oliver who was only a foot away, "Thea's been asking...about both of you."

Felicity wiped another hand over her head and pulled the tail down on her shirt, suddenly all too aware that she was going to be seen by someone other than Oliver and Digg sooner than she would have liked.

"I'll...we'll see her when we come down." Oliver said quickly, and Digg dipped his chin,

"Alright, I'll let her know."

She raised her eyes to see the two men exchanging looks. It wasn't anything new. They'd always been able to have those silent exchanges but right then she knew it was about her and it sent a flare of anger through her. She didn't want to feel managed or coddled. She was grateful for the concern and the care but there was a fine line between taking care of someone and treating them like they no longer had any agency in their own life. Nate had taken the control away from her for too long and she now felt strong enough to grab it back and not let go.

Through dulled ears she heard Digg say goodbye, the muted click of the door shutting letting her know she was alone with Oliver again.

"Hey,"

Normally hearing him use that soft, low quality that seemed to be for her alone sent a thrill through her, but just then it sounded patronizing and she couldn't help letting out a soft huff of irritation as he approached the tray and lifted the lid.

There was soup and tea and fruit. Nothing heavy. But it was obviously food you would give to a sick person and she was tired of feeling like that.

"I'm not hungry," she said almost petulantly, mentally cringing at her tone but also not willing to do anything to change it.

"You have to eat-"

"Oliver…"

"No!" he cut her off, a sharp tone to his voice that he hadn't used with her since she'd been back. He straightened with an exhale and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, "You have to eat," he sounded calmer, but the strain was evident.

Taking her time she lifted her chin to see him standing stone faced with the lid still in his hand, a deep furrow between his brow and a fight in his eyes.

"Soup? Soup and fruit?"

He opened his mouth to reply but she stopped him, "I'm not an invalid, or a child." she bit out, eyes flashing to meet his, "Are you going to spoon feed me?" She hadn't meant to sound so bitter and it was obviously a side of her Oliver had never seen before if the half-shocked, half-hurt look on his face was any indication.

Logically she knew she needed to eat. She knew she'd lost weight. But all her associations with food were tainted by Nate. The thought of eating made acid rise in her throat.

"Felicity," he said warningly but she paid it no heed,

"Why can't I have real food if you're going to insist I eat?" she countered, finally pushing off the bed, putting space between not only her and the food, but her and Oliver. The selection on the tray was doing nothing but reinforcing her feelings of weakness and being helpless. "Double deluxe from Big Belly, that's my usual, I didn't think I was gone so long you'd forget."

Everything froze between them as all the air seemed to be sucked from the room.

He blanched, face going slack and she immediately clapped both hands over her mouth in horror.

There wasn't a single sound other than the blood rushing in her head. Her eyes filled with tears as she watched him go through every emotion, a constantly flickering wave that ended with him dropping the lid and backing up a step head tilted to the side in stricken confusion. He blinked once and when he opened his eyes there was a mask that had dropped into place.

She was moving before she even knew it, erasing the few steps between them, apologies already tripping past her lips as she almost crashed into his chest and reached up to touch his face.

"I'm sorry," she gasped out, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have…"

He drew back, just a hair but it was enough for her heart to go cold. Her hands froze, hovering alongside his jaw not knowing whether she should touch him or not.

"You weregone too long," he ground out, the rawness making her feel like she'd been punched in the gut. He wouldn't meet her eyes, and she knew her words had been like a knife to him.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry," she repeated, the guilt at what she'd said more than she could bear.

When he captured her face in his hands she gasped and let out a trembling breath, knowing she didn't deserve it. Calloused thumbs brushed tears off her cheeks and then one hand slid back into her hair and tugged her forward.

She muttered more apologies until he was shushing her, fingers rubbing circles into her scalp.

The rumble from his chest let her know he was speaking before she heard the words. "When I got back from the island I couldn't eat foods I had been able to eat before. I'd spent five years surviving on whatever I hunted or could find," she tried to pull back but he held her in place with her head tucked under his chin, "My first night back my mother had all my favorite foods prepared and I ate them because I knew she needed me too. She needed things to be normal again. But I was sick all night because of it." he stroked a hand over her head and slid it down to tilt her chin up, looking at her now with nothing but love and concern. "I asked for the soup and the tea because you've lost weight and I know you haven't been eating. I didn't want to overwhelm your system. I don't think you're an invalid. I think you're the strongest person I know."

Guilt flooded her as the anger she'd felt vanished in an instant. He hadn't been coddling her, he'd been trying to take care of her and instead of being grateful she'd attacked him.

"I'm sorry!" she said desperately into his chest where the skin was slick from her tears, "I...with my parents not knowing and having to talk to Jackson again and Thea wants to see us and I know she's just worried but it's all-"

"I know, I know," he crooned, holding her impossibly close until she took a deep, shuddering breath and lifted her head.

Felicity planted her hands on his chest and pushed back before she wiped over her still watery eyes, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm...I'm not normally like this, you know I'm not."

His took her wrists and tugged down gently until she had no choice but to drop her hands and look up, "There's no playbook here, but we'll figure it out, okay?"

She gave him a grateful smile as he lowered his head and brushed his lips over hers, that small act doing more to help calm and center her than anything else could have.

Their fingers tangled together and she gave herself a long moment to be still. Oliver's chin rested on her head, some of the tension releasing from his body as he relaxed just the tiniest bit against her.

"You ready to eat now?"

"Yeah, I'll try something," she agreed and this time his relieved exhale was strong enough to drop his shoulders for a second.

She turned in his arms and made her way back to the bed, carefully climbing onto the mattress to avoid spilling the tea and soup. Oliver hung back, not offering help which she appreciated.

"You're not hungry?" she asked as she picked up the soup and a spoon, feeling a bit strange eating it when it was technically breakfast, but it at least had some small bits of pasta and vegetables in it and wasn't strictly broth, that would have been one step too far she thought.

"I'll get something when we go down," he said with a noncommittal shrug that had her raising an eyebrow,

"I promise!" he exclaimed, hands held up in mock surrender. That earned him a cock of her head which made him smile almost wistfully and turn away for a moment.

He tried not to watch her as she slowly sipped the soup, but his eyes kept darting back to her as he paced off excess energy throughout the room.

The soup was good, but as soon as it hit her empty stomach it began to make her feel queasy and strangely full. After half the bowl she knew she couldn't eat any more without risking getting sick.

She put it back on the tray and didn't look at Oliver as he turned sharply. His gaze was hot and unrelenting, making her skin prickle. It wasn't until she'd poured some cream into the tea and took a few drinks that he looked away. But her stomach still churned and soon enough she was putting the cup back and scooting away from the tray, one hand laying across her middle.

"Sorry, that's..."

"It's okay," he said and came immediately to cover the food and move it to the table. "Start slow,"

"Yeah," she said quietly, shoving loose hair out of her face, again feeling self conscious for some reason.

Oliver approached her slowly until he sank onto the bed next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, tugging him into his side, "You don't have to do this," he said heavily,

She smiled into his skin, raising a hand to lay on his leg. Always the hero. Always trying to save her.

"Yes I do. And if I do then hopefully I'll never have to speak to the FBI again and...well, like Digg said…"

He let out a resigned sigh, pressing his lips to her hair, "Yeah,"

She squeezed his thigh and made the first move to stand, "I'm sure I look like a mess," she said with half a forced laugh, turning to look at him and waving a hand up and down in front of herself, "One of your dress shirts and nothing else is probably not appropriate attire to wear to an interview with the FBI,"

He was quiet for a long beat as she fiddled with a button, and when he spoke she looked up in complete surprise, "You look perfect. If I could I'd make you stay in that and nothing else," his voice was a low growl, laced with hunger and her hand stilled in front of her, eyes raising to see his darkened pupils.

Before she could say anything else his hands flashed out and snuck under the sides of the shirt, settling against her hips and hauling her between his legs. His mouth found hers, hot and needy, tongue sweeping through her lips without pause.

Felicity's hands dove into his hair, slipping through the short strands, trying to find something to grasp and he pulled her even closer, thighs closing in on her as his mouth worked hers, tongues sliding, teeth nipping until she couldn't feel her feet and her breaths were coming in short, staccato pants that left her head spinning.

When they both needed air his lips trailed a path across her jaw and down her neck, his forehead falling forward to rest against her collarbone. She stroked a hand over his head into the fine hairs at the base and rubbed over the tense muscles of his shoulders.

For a few minutes while their breaths evened out she held him, not realizing how much she needed to be the one to give him comfort as well as receive it. He leaned into her, his weight against her giving her strength.

His hands coasted steadily up and down the back of her thighs and over to the small of her back. Not wanting to put their solace to an end she reluctantly drew back, hands sliding up his arms, over his shoulders and in until she held his face. His eyes looked unnaturally bright, making her heart flip.

"I love you, Oliver Queen," she whispered against his lips, the heavy breath that left him warming her face.

He mirrored her action by raising his hands to her jaw, thumbs stroking over her cheeks as her chest tightened when she saw the look of love cross his face, "I love you," he replied just as quietly, kissing her long and hard as his fingers worked through her hair.

Foreheads pressed together she couldn't stop the slow smile that spread across her face and he matched her. "We should get dressed," she said, eyes darting to the large expanse of empty bed that lay behind him, as a small swirl of need made its way through her belly.

One of his large hands skimmed over her arm and back before sneaking under the edge of the shirt and up, squeezing her ass and making her moan. "We really should," he agreed, although he didn't remove his hand.

With a groan she pulled back until his hands were forced to fall away from her, "You really don't play fair,"

"Never have," he agreed, rising to join her, hands already reaching for her,

Once again she found herself in Oliver's massive closet. As soon as they entered her nerves returned with full force as she was reminded of why she was having to get dressed. As Oliver quickly pulled out pants and a new shirt she was stuck staring at her clothes.

She didn't know how long she'd been silently staring at the rack until he came up behind her, arms banding about her waist from behind as he dropped a kiss to the side of her neck. "What's wrong?"

Felicity jumped, feeling her pulse accelerate at being caught off guard, "Nothing," she said quickly and just as quick sighed, leaning back against him, "Sorry, I...I just...I don't want to talk about it anymore, but I don't feel like I can move past it yet. It's too real...it…" she shook her head and lay her hands over his where the rested at her middle. She needed to box it away. She'd seen Oliver do it time and time again. Just turn off his emotions and shove them away because he didn't have time to deal with them just then.

With a long breath she straightened up and stepped forward, grabbing the first skirt she saw. She could do the same. She could put everything that happened in the motel in a box and push it aside until she could deal with it.

Oliver's hand landed on her arm, forcing her to drop it as she reached for a blouse. When his fingers caught her chin she had no option but to look at him, "Hey, you okay?" he asked, brows knitted together as he looked at her in worry,

"I'm…I just want to get this over with."

He stared at her for a long minute and then drew back, "Okay," he was letting her off the hook, but it wouldn't' be forever.

Twenty minutes later they were standing in front of the still closed door. She was dressed, glasses in place, hair wrestled into a fairly respectable ponytail considering Oliver had to be the one to put the tie in since her arm wouldn't allow her yet.

Her stomach erupted in butterflies, a cool sweat already breaking across her back as she stared at that door like it was the last line of defense between her and the enemy.

Then Oliver's hand found hers, engulfing it and for a second everything was whisked away.

Felicity blew out a careful breath, adjusted her glasses and squeezed his hand before nodding towards the door.

With no hesitation he reached forward and turned the handle, and she stepped through with Oliver at her side.


	30. Chapter 30

** A/N: Thank you again for all the wonderful and continued support for this story. Only a few chapters left to this saga and I'm so grateful to everyone who has stuck with it. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!  **

 

 

 

_ Previously in 'Times Like These'... _

 

_ Twenty minutes later they were standing in front of the still closed door. She was dressed, glasses in place, hair wrestled into a fairly respectable ponytail considering Oliver had to be the one to put the tie in since her arm wouldn’t allow her yet.  _

__

_ Her stomach erupted in butterflies, a cool sweat already breaking across her back as she stared at that door like it was the last line of defense between her and the enemy.  _

__

_ Then Oliver’s hand found hers, engulfing it and for a second everything was whisked away.  _

__

_ Felicity blew out a careful breath, adjusted her glasses and squeezed his hand before nodding towards the door.  _

__

_ With no hesitation he reached forward and turned the handle, and she stepped through with Oliver at her side.  _

__**  
  
  
**

Chapter 30

**  
  
**

The upper hallway outside Oliver’s room looked longer than ever at first glance. All Felicity could see was an endless corridor and closed doors. It wasn’t until after a long blink that everything rearranged itself back the way it really was. She could see the railing that edged the upper balcony and Digg waiting, suit on, hands folded in front of him.

Seeing Digg look so normal helped to calm her. Oliver’s hand tightened over hers and she was the one who increased their pace. As they approached Digg turned and gave Oliver a significant look which she was about to question when the pacing figure of Thea Queen could been seen on the balcony that overlooked the foyer.

Digg’s shoulders lifted in a sympathetic shrug that let her know he’d tried to keep Thea away and failed. Tiny pinpricks of fear washed over Felicity, leaving her hands and feet numb even though she had known she’d have to face others.

Oliver turned his body, blocking Thea from view and reached out one hand to tip her chin up, “I can talk to her if you want to wait here with Digg,”

With a shaky breath she shook her head, feeling slowly returning to her extremities. “It’s okay,” she assured him,

There was no more time because just then Thea had turned at the far end and spotted them, “Ollie!” she exclaimed but seemed frozen in place,

As soon as they hit the near side of the balcony Thea flew at her brother, slamming into his chest with enough force to make him grunt slightly, his bruised ribs protesting.

“Oh god, Ollie, you got her back! I knew you would...Mom told me and I wanted to see you but she said you needed some time. I’m just...I was so worried for you if…” she pulled back with watery eyes and waved her hand in front of her face, “Doesn’t matter now. Everything worked out, right?”

In a whirl she turned to Felicity and started forward as if to hug her but pulled up short, “Sorry, I was...I was really scared this week. For Ollie and for you and-” her hands came up again, “I know we don’t really know each other but I was really worried we weren’t going to get the chance to do that,”

A rough noise came from Oliver and Felicity was stunned by her words, having no time to prepare before Thea finally couldn’t seem to control herself any longer and pulled Felicity into a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said quietly into her shoulder as Felicity began to slowly relax, not bringing her own arms up for a long moment, “He wouldn’t have survived without you,” it was a whisper, only meant for her ears and not for the first time Felicity wondered how bad things had been for Oliver,

Her own eyes were a bit damp when the younger girl pulled back and looked at her with an intensity she found surprising. “If you need anything, let me know,”

Felicity could only nod, the fast forming lump in her throat keeping her from speaking. She’d never had a sister before but she felt like she’d just gained one, and something told her ‘sister’ was a role Thea didn’t take lightly.

She wasn’t quite able to pay attention as Thea turned back to her brother, “They’re already here, Mom was going to take them into the front parlor if you need a couple more minutes,” she said helpfully,

Felicity heard him thank her but hardly felt the gentle squeeze to her forearm before they were once again alone.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, fingers skirting up her wrist to cup her elbow and draw her near him,

With a small start her eyes focused and she found herself blinking quickly as she hurriedly tried to remember everything that had just been said, “Yeah, I…”

It was a combination of Thea’s words echoing in her head and Oliver himself asking if she was okay that made her mouth drop open as she took half a step back in order to really look at him. He was paler than usual, a crease that now seemed to be permanent between his brows, dark circles beneath his eyes, and a mouth that appeared pulled down as a default. But it was the slight edge of fear and almost borderline hysteria that crossed his face at random that affected her the most.

He looked at her sometimes like he still expected her to vanish at any second or that she had never really been there at all. His touches felt they were the only way he had to remind himself she was with him and not a ghost.

The signs had been there since he’d found her in the motel. His reluctance to let her go, his refusal to leave her side, not wanting her to do something as simple as walk off the plane, pacing right outside the door when the doctor had been there...he’d even allowed a few desperate slides where he said something about the time she’d been gone, but nothing that went into any detail. She knew the week she’d been missing had been hard for him but she was beginning to realize she didn’t really know how hard.

With a shaking hand she reached out and cupped his cheek, thumb stroking from the smooth skin over the stubble that was still longer than usual, “Oliver, are you okay?”

His head tilted in genuine confusion, and she hurried on, “I haven’t...I’m so sorry. I haven’t really asked you if you’re okay. You can’t be. But you’ve been so good taking care of me and making sure I’m alright and I know it was bad--”

She wasn’t expecting his hands to drop hard on her hips as he moved closer and stared down at her, breath almost ragged. With a low, half growl he lowered his forehead to hers and screwed his eyes shut tight. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,”

She drew back and looked at him in shock, “Oliver--”, he understood what she wasn’t saying, what she was questioning. How could he ever say that considering everything he’d endured on the island.

He pulled her back, shaking his head, an almost electric current of intensity rushing through his touch that she could feel skittering across the surface of her skin, “No, you have to…” he cut himself off, swallowing hard, jaw clenching before he continued, “Physical pain I learned to live with.” he took her face in his hands and dropped his voice to a whisper, “I could not live without you,”

Her mouth fell into a silent ‘oh’ and then she was raising her good arm to wrap tight around his neck, her face pressed into him. “I’m here, I’m okay. I’m not going anywhere,” she promised fiercely, and felt him shudder as he banded too strong arms about her waist.

They stood locked in place like that until she began to feel some of the tension begin to ease from him although it didn’t all dissipate. She didn’t know if it ever truly would.

It was the familiar gravelly drawl of Detective Lance from below that eventually made her pull back and turn her head to look over the banister. Oliver’s arms were still solidly around her as she peered down to see Lance and Moira talking in quiet tones, their words disappearing into the grand space on the entrance hall before they could reach Felicity’s ears.

The detective chose that moment to look up, his eyes softening when he took her in, and even from her removed vantage point she could see the relief that crossed his face at seeing her safe.

She gave him a small smile before giving her attention back to Oliver. His head was still lowered, eyes cast on the floor. She slid her hand around from the nape of his neck to cradle the side of his cheek, coaxing him with gentle pressure until he looked at her.

He hadn’t completely gathered his emotions and her heart clenched as she saw once again all the pain and fear he’d been through swirling through dull blue eyes. “Hey,” it was no more than a breath but it made him blink and when he looked at her his eyes were clearer, “I’m okay,” she repeated as she pushed up on her toes and kissed him, trying to pour every ounce of love and support she felt for him into it.

He responded immediately, unable to control his reaction as he kissed her back almost desperately. It was rough and hard and she could feel her lower lip being pushed into her bottom teeth, the healing cut she had there stinging slightly. She was breathless when he lifted his head and sat her back, scraping a hand through his hair and over the back of his neck, other hand fisting in the material of her blouse.

“If you can’t do this I…” she started but was stopped by the almost wild look he gave her. He spread his hands wide over his face, and let out one deep exhale. When he looked at her again the rawness was missing although she was sure it was hidden just out of sight.

“I’m fine. I’m not letting you do this alone,” he said forcefully, taking her hands in his and holding them tight.

“Okay, good,” she said in a rush, letting out a nervous breath as her eyes cut back down to where Moira and Quentin were now both looking at them expectantly. “I didn’t actually mean that, by the way. I can’t do this by myself.”

She thought he might smile but instead he just blew air from between pursed lips like he hadn’t even heard her.

Suddenly more worried than she had been since they’d left his room she let her hands slip from his and turned to head down the staircase. She gripped the railing hard, her knees feeling like they may not keep her upright, her chest tightening in panic until Oliver’s broad hand fell to her back, other hand coming across to let her grasp his wrist for extra support.

At the first landing she looked up and gave him a wan smile, “Can’t remember the last time I walked these on my own, seems like you’re always carrying me.”

There was only the slightest twitch of his lips before his brows drew together, “Let’s just get this over with,”

A cold knot tightened in her stomach as she gave him a long look that he avoided. The worry that struck her only grew as she continued down the steps.

When they reached the bottom Moira had moved closer, the impeccable suit she wore making Felicity all too aware of the bruises on her face she’d been unable to cover with make up and her simple skirt and top.

Felicity felt incredibly self conscious and dropped the hand she had on Oliver’s arm to adjust her glasses and smooth her hair as they slowly approached.

It was Moira who broke the silence, eyes locked on Felicity with her hands outstretched, “Felicity, dear,” she said in a surprisingly affected voice that made Felicity’s eyes go round. She expected the other woman to take her hands like she had before. She hadn’t expected a hug.

A small ‘oh’ escaped her lips as Moira warmly enveloped her, not holding her for long. When she drew back there was such a kind, motherly expression on her face Felicity felt a pang go through her, “We were so worried about you. I can’t tell you how relieved Thea and I were to get the call that you were coming home,”

It wasn’t the use of home that had Felicity suddenly blinking back tears, it was the soft touch of Moira’s fingers grazing over her bruised cheek.

As if sensing she was becoming overwhelmed, Moira let her hands skim over Felicity’s arms before turning to Oliver. She didn’t say a word to her son, just tugged him down until he was forced to stoop and accept her hug. That one lasted considerably longer than the one she had given Felicity but by the time they parted Felicity felt like she could breathe again.

“Never been so glad to have this one be right before,” Quentin said wryly, pointing a finger in Oliver’s direction but not looking at him, as he stepped up to join the group and broke the silence. “When he called to tell me he’d heard from you...can’t say I believed him at first but…you bring out the best in everyone, sweetheart.”

He still looked tired, but not quite as worn as she remembered from seeing him the day before outside the motel.

Oliver had already come back to her side, hand rubbing small circles at the small of her back as she found herself unable to look away from the detective. Lance gave a little sigh and a tilt of his head and then before she even knew what she was doing she found herself moving forward right into his arms.

He wrapped her up without hesitation as she struggled not to completely fall apart. The amount of people she trusted was small, and most of them were in the room with her right then.

“Okay, okay,” he said quietly as he held her, “You’re strong and you survived, and don’t for one second feel bad for coming home, okay? Lots of people don’t get to do that.” the unspoken reference to his own daughter and his choked words were enough to bring a fresh wave of tears.

 

She gave herself another few seconds before she made to pull back. Wiping her fingers under her eyes she knew she was probably doing more harm than good to the small amount of makeup she’d applied earlier.

Lance cleared his throat and stepped away, hands on his hips as he stared hard at the floor for a moment until she felt Oliver once again at her back. But it was Digg’s hand that entered her field of vision holding a crisp white handkerchief that made her look up.

She took it with a smile of thanks and tried to dab away the moisture without making more of a mess.

“Don’t you know you should always have a handkerchief on you, Queen? I figured you were raised better than that,” Quentin said, albeit in a far lower and rougher voice than he usually used, “No offense, Moira,”

Moira held her hands up in mock surrender, “He was raised better I can assure you. Thank goodness Mr. Diggle is a gentleman as well.” her tone had a forced lightness to it that Felicity appreciated even though she could feel the tension flowing off Oliver in waves.

“I’ll go see if they’re ready for you,” Quentin offered and Moira followed after him, leaving the three of them alone once again in the entrance hall.

She fiddled with the edge of the cloth in her hands and looked at Oliver, not expecting to see him with his hands in his pocket almost glaring in the direction Lance his mother had just gone.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked immediately,

He gave a small jolt, setting his shoulders and pulling his hands out before he looked at her, mask sliding into place. “Nothing,”

She gave him a look and stepped right up to him, hand coming up to lay against his lapel, “Don’t try and lie to me,”

He let out a huff, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I’m not...this isn’t about me right now. This is about you, okay.” the harsh, angry look was gone and even though she knew he was forcing something away and boxing it up for now she’d get it out of him eventually,

“Okay,” she agreed, “But don’t think this is over,” she admonished lightly,

He sighed and dropped a kiss to her cheek, “Never,”

“You okay?” Digg asked from behind her, and she pivoted on her heel to see him looking at her intently,

“Yeah, I think I’ve cried over everyone in this house now except for Agent Jackson so...lets get this over with,” she said with a shrug and half a smile that she knew was forced. Something was off with Oliver, not that she really had any room to talk about what behavior was right or wrong just then but there was an unease she was feeling that was leaving her worried.

Without another word she lifted her chin and grabbed Oliver’s hand as they headed for the parlor. Some of the apprehension that had been building within her vanished when she felt his thumb ghost over the back of her knuckles. She looked up at him as he pulled her a few inches closer, “If you want to stop at any time you can stop,” he assured her and she nodded mutely just as they entered the room.

She made it four steps before her eyes locked on Agent Jackson and then her feet felt like they had been encased in lead. The breath caught in her chest as her pulse began to beat erratically. Every instinct told her to run, to hide, to protect herself. Because all she could see right then was the inside of a dark ambulance as Jackson told her she’d been missing for over a week.

It was the sudden appearance of Oliver’s broad chest in her eyeline that made her jerk her head up with a gasp, not expecting to see him right in front of her, blocking her view of the room and Jackson as well.

His hands held her elbows as he peered down at her, not speaking, waiting for her to show some sort of recognition.

“Oliver!” she said sharply, knowing it came out higher and louder than she meant for it to.

“What happened?” he was fighting to keep the anger out of his voice, but she could see how close to the edge he was. Knowing he was about to break actually seemed to help her. She could hear the sounds of the room coming back, feel the tingling of her skin abate, and her racing heart began to settle down. They couldn’t both fall apart at the same time.

“Sorry, just had a bit of a flashback. I’m okay now.” she assured him as well as she could. He didn’t look like he fully believed her but the grip on her arms loosened and his shoulders dropped.

She let her hands come up to grip his forearms, feeling the play of the muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt, and squeezed once.

Reluctantly Oliver turned and she continued into the room, making her way towards the grouping of couches and chairs where Jackson, Lance, Moira, and an agent she didn’t recognize were waiting.

Moira excused herself and Felicity found herself worrying the edges of Digg’s handkerchief when they finally paused in front of a sofa, Jackson on the other side of the table.

She gave him a tight half smile of greeting that probably looked pained as she couldn’t quite get her mouth to cooperate. Jackson gave an understanding nod. “Glad to see you up and moving under your own steam, Ms. Smoak.” his hand came out intending to shake hers but Oliver moved quickly to intercept. He took her right forearm and crossed it over her middle as his other hand lay over her back, helping her sit.

When she looked up at him in half shock, half mortified surprise she saw him giving Jackson a glare that was typically only seen when he donned the hood. Oliver clearly hadn’t forgotten being forced to leave her alone in the ambulance.

But Jackson was either smart enough to read the situation or kind enough to not be offended. He just nodded once and drew his hand back, quickly sitting himself and motioning for the other agent to do the same.

That left Oliver, Lance, and Digg still standing. She felt more than saw Digg take up a place directly behind her while Lance was a few paces to the left of the couch. It took her reaching up and slipping her fingers into Oliver’s palm and tugging down for him to sit, and when he did he was perched on the edge like a tiger waiting to attack.

Jackson’s eyes cut to the three men that had effectively surrounded her and she knew what he was going to say before he spoke.

“I understand we have to do this, Agent Jackson, but they’re staying. All of them.”  her words were strong and clear and made her sit up straighter as she finally locked her eyes on him and almost dared him to challenge her.

There was a long pause where she could feel Oliver becoming more and more tense. She tightened her grip on him until her fingers hurt and then Jackson conceded. “Some of what we need to discuss will involve them so I’ll allow it,”

A flare of irritation went through her at his use of the word ‘allow’, but if it meant she wouldn’t be alone she’d let it go for now.

“I know all of this was a horrible ordeal for you and the family aspect has only made it that much more difficult,” Jackson began and she felt her throat growing thicker, “Your initial statement was helpful in giving us a timeline of events as best you could recall, but we’re now trying to understand his motivations better in order to finish our report and close this case as quickly as possible. I think you’ll agree that would be best for everyone,”

Oliver shifted next to her, his body sliding even further to the front of the sofa. She honestly didn’t know if Jackson was trying to be comforting or not, but Oliver didn’t seem to think so.

“Is there anything he may have said about his motivations that you could tell me. Why he’d been planning this for so long? Why he felt compelled to do it in the first place? Even something that might have seemed insignificant may be of use.”

Jackson was staring at her expectantly and she realized that he wanted her to just start talking. Her first attempt was a failure, her too dry mouth made her croak, hand rising to her throat as she swallowed and tried again. But Oliver cut her off by bellowing for water to be brought in, and she could practically feel him vibrating with barely suppressed rage next to her.

It was Digg who calmly walked to the sideboard and poured her a glass from the crystal pitcher that had already been prepared. She reached out to take it, only to have Oliver intercept the glass, handing it to her as he canted his body even further her direction until his knee was pushed into hers.

She sipped it carefully, eyes casting down to watch how Oliver’s hands were clenched into fists, knuckles turning white. When she went to set the glass back down Oliver took it before she could finish the action, the thunk of the heavy crystal hitting the table sounding too loud in the all too quiet room.

“Whenever you’re ready, Ms. Smoak,” Jackson said evenly but when she looked up his eyes were trained on Oliver who was staring at her like he wanted to do nothing more than throw her over his shoulder and haul her out of there.

Slowly, and haltingly she began. She told them about Nate’s childhood, the parts she’d never known, especially about his parents. She told them about how Jenny had been the first person in his life who had made him feel normal. She told them about how the guilt he’d felt over her death had broken him. By the time she got to explaining how fractured and changed Nate had become her voice had gone flat, she was only reciting information.

“It was your belief that Samuels planned to kill you and then himself?” Jackson queried as the agent next to him hastily scribbled notes.

Oliver let out a harsh exhale and she laid her hand over his balled fist as best she could.

“It wasn’t my belief. He told me that’s what he was going to do. In his mind it was the only way to make everything end. He was going to drug me again and then--” she could feel that light headed, floaty feeling starting to creep back over her but Jackson’s next words slammed her back into reality.

“Thank you, I know this was difficult. Now we need to discuss whether you want to inform your family about the events of the past week and your involvement.”

“I’m….I’m sorry?”

For a second a look of shock flashed over Jackson’s face, “You haven’t been made aware that your direct relatives were not notified of your abduction?” the almost hesitant tone let her know he was actually concerned about being the one to once again inadvertently tell her surprising news.

“No. I know that,” she said quickly, “Oliver told me--” she cut her eyes to him and ran her thumb over the back of his hand to try and let him know she didn’t blame him, “He told me you were concerned there could be issues if…” she trailed off when she found she couldn’t bring herself to say Nate’s name.

“That’s correct,” Jackson finished for her, “If there was a chance Samuels was being assisted by his parents and they talked to yours...it was too great a risk especially with the bombings.”

She dipped her chin in acknowledgement. “Yes, on paper I’m sure it made perfect sense,”

“As of right now you’re being listed as ‘Jane Doe’ in the paperwork and reports. Nothing official has your name attached to it. And we can keep it that way,” he said with significant looks to the others in the room, “With your connection to the Queen family and the ensuing media coverage something like this becoming public could bring, the Director thought it might be in the best interest of everyone if it stayed that way. But ultimately it’s your choice.” he paused as he let his words sink in, “However, I’m afraid I need a decision now. The medical examiner has finished the autopsy and we’re ready to call the family to inform them of what has happened and release the body.”

She didn’t know what sort of noise she made just that the mention of Nate’s body had elicited a response from her that took everyone by surprise. The room seemed to fade out, her limbs going ice cold as she swayed in her seat.

There were loud, angry voices, and shadows that danced in front of her but she couldn’t seem to focus on anything.

Her body felt like it was out of her own control, too heavy and unwieldy to do what she wanted and at first she didn’t feel the hands that caught her as she listed to the side. Gradually a familiar voice, and a hand cupping her face made her blink her way back to normal. Each open and close allowing her to recognize more of what was around her. The last time she blinked she could see the person crouched in front of her was Detective Lance, one hand wrapped around her wrist with a thumb over her pulse point, the other gently patting her cheek.

“Hey, hey, sweetheart you gotta snap out of it,” his eyes darted to the side and with effort she followed his gaze to see Oliver barely being held back by Digg while he railed at Jackson.

“How...how long?” she had no idea how much time she’d missed, but feeling was quickly coming back, her fingers tingling almost painfully and she knew she needed to get up and get Oliver out of there before something bad happened.

“Not long, just a few seconds,” Lance told her, a brief look of disapproval crossing his face as she began to pull herself up but he just sighed and helped her to her feet.

Still feeling weak and unstable she reached out and grabbed Oliver’s arm for support and also to get his attention. She swallowed more than once, trying to get rid of the bitter taste that burned her mouth.

The sudden quiet broke her from her daze and she snapped her eyes up to see Oliver staring down at her, still angry and red faced. Without a word she slid her hand down to wrap around his wrist and then turned, heading for the door leaving him to either be towed along behind her or to pull from her hold.

Her chest expanded in a rush when he fell into step at her heels and by the time they reached the doorway of the study she was feeling like everything might not implode at any second. With a glance to Digg who had followed as well she gave him a reassuring nod before she entered and shut the door, letting Oliver’s arm go as she did.

“Oliver, what is wrong with you and don’t say-”

“Nothing,”

“-nothing,” she finished with a small noise of dissatisfaction,

She could only watch as he walked away from her, heading for the large desk where he slammed both hands on the top making everything on it rattle as the sound filled the room.

“What the hell was he thinking! How did he think saying that in front of you was a good idea!” he spun, eyes searching the room as if he wanted to make some sort of move, find some sort of weapon but couldn’t. Now he looked like a caged tiger and she knew she couldn’t let him out of there until he’d calmed down.

Moving slowly but purposefully she closed the distance between them. He didn’t seem to even realize she was there until she placed her palms on his stomach and took one more step, sliding her arms around his waist.

He was stiff and unyielding as she laid her head on his chest and waited. When she felt him draw her closer she rubbed her cheek into the soft fabric of his shirt and held him tighter. “Talk to me,” she mumbled, “And don’t tell me it’s nothing, and don’t tell me you don’t want me to worry about anything else. Please, let me help.”

She turned her head enough she could look up at him, only really able to see the underside of his jaw and the way he was looking over the top of her head at something unseen.

He shook his head and began to pull back before he stopped and let out a long breath she felt coast across her forehead. “Talk to me,” she implored once more,

She could see how hesitant he was, how torn he was because he didn’t want to burden her. “Oliver...please. You’ve done nothing but take care of me since I’ve been back, but I know things were bad for you too.” he made some sort of strangled noise and actually took a step away until she was forced to grab a handful of his shirtsleeve to keep any sort of contact with him, “I’m not back to normal...I don’t even know if I can go back to normal...but I’m so much better than I was and that’s because of you. Why won’t you let me help you?”

“I don’t deserve it!” he tore away from her grasp, spinning to put his back to her as both hands scrubbed over his face, “I didn’t keep you safe! I spent a week FAILING! It was pure luck that we were headed in the right direction and that wasn’t even me, it was Diggle.” he fell into the armchair as if he had given up, elbows resting on his thighs as he buried his head in his hands. “I failed you,” his voice was desolate now, the anger gone, replaced with guilt and loathing.

Not a sound could be heard, but his last words rang in her head like he’d been screaming them. With a hand pushed to her chest that did nothing to ease the ache in her heart she stumbled forward on shaky legs until she could lower herself to her knees in front of him, covering his hands with hers, but unable to get him to look up.

“You didn’t fail me,” she whispered in a tight voice, “You could never fail me,” once again she tried to pry his hands off but he wouldn’t relent. She settled for stroking a hand over his head and feeling him shudder under her touch. “You saved me. I knew that wherever you were you were doing all you could to find me. I knew it. Sometimes it was the only thing I knew. When he dyed my hair and made me dress up like another woman. When he called me by a different name and talked to me like I was someone else…Knowing that you were looking for me was enough. When I was terrified, and hurting, and drugged out of my mind I still thought of you, I dreamt of you. You grounded me. So don’t you dare say you failed me. You’ve never failed me once since the day I met you and you never will.”

She let her head fall forward and press into the back of his fingers, only the top of their foreheads actually touching. Each breath he took was ragged and shaky and fine tremors still wracked his body as she waited.

She hadn’t realized she’d been crying until she felt the tears drip off the end of her nose to splash on his pants leg. He took on so much he didn’t need to, she couldn’t bear if he carried guilt over her abduction as well.

“You’re so much stronger than me,” the broken words came out suddenly, like he hadn’t meant to say them, but as she drew back and opened her mouth to protest he dropped his hands and looked at her with hurting, reddened eyes. “I tried...Felicity...from the moment I woke up in the hospital until the moment I kicked in the door to that motel room you were the only thing I thought about. But there were no leads, there was no trace, we needed you to find you and even then…”

“He was off grid... I couldn’t find him, remember? You did nothing wrong,” she assured him, cupping his face in her hands, even though he tried to move from the comfort she gave him,

“I’ve never felt that...helpless before. The stakes were too high and everyone was looking to me! Except it was day after day of nothing or false leads that led nowhere and...it got so hard...it got so hard to believe…”

His head hung in shame again as a pang struck her hard, heart beginning to pound so quick she thought it might beat through her ribs. He had begun to believe they’d never find her alive. “You didn’t though...you didn’t stop believing. If you had you wouldn’t have gone with Digg on a hunch, Oliver, I know you! Some part of you still believed and never stopped!”

He sat up so quick he almost clipped her chin and there was a stricken, raw look on his face that made her sit back on her heels. He was just shaking his head, mouth bobbing as if he wanted to speak but didn’t know how or where to begin, and there was something else, something lurking, something hidden he didn’t want her to know.

“I almost did,”

The words were so thick and heavy and full of derision she felt her heart break for him.

“Thea found me one night…” he let out a bitter, scoffing laugh, “In the room we were just in actually. I had upended the drink cart...I had left Lance after he’d laid into me...into the Arrow about not doing enough to find you and everything just boiled over. For a second I stopped and let myself think about what it would mean if you were gone…”

“I’m not gone. I’m right here!” she said quickly, repeating the words she’d said earlier, pushing up on her knees to be more level with him. There was a rapidly developing look in his eyes she didn’t like. Hands shaking she grabbed one of his and placed it flat over her chest where she knew he could feel the rapid thrum of her heart. “I’m right here, Oliver!”

He looked at her sadly, but reached out with his other hand to drag the back of his knuckles over her cheek, the sensation making her breath catch as he wiped away tears. “I know, but you were gone longer than you’ve been back and it’s hard to make myself trust that what I’m seeing is true.”

With a small cry she lurched upwards, never fully finding her feet as she pushed him backwards into the chair, wrapping herself around him so there was no doubt in his mind that she had made it, she had come home, she had come back to him.

She was high enough up on his lap that she could tuck his head under her chin, dipping her head next to his ear as he resisted briefly before encircling her. His hands clutched her tightly, face half resting on her blouse half on the exposed skin of her neck. His breath was hot and stuttered at first and she just held him, hands stroking over his head and across shoulders that felt like iron.

“I can’t do this without you,” he muttered against her, lips brushing over her collarbone as he spoke. “I can’t...thinking about a life without you in it scared me,”

With a shaky inhale of her own she kissed the top of his head and then his temple, ignoring how the awkward angle she was forced into pulled on her bruised and sore muscles. “I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered, “I’m right here,”

She sniffed and sat up when he tilted his head back, stormy blue eyes meeting hers, “It wasn’t fast was it? This...us…” he was trailing a hand down the side of her face, along her jaw and then back up, thumb catching her bottom lip and making her eyes go wide at the unexpected bolt of desire that struck her.

“It wasn’t fast,” she confirmed giving him a soft smile, “This is the path we’ve been on since you stepped into my office with a bad cover story and a cheesy grin,”

That finally earned her a small upturn of his lips and she couldn’t resist discovering if it tasted different. One hand worked it’s way into her hair as she slanted her mouth over his, making sure to kiss the corners. “Smile more,” she muttered against him before she pulled back enough to see him.

“Haven’t had a lot to smile about,” he said in a voice that still held a weeks worth of misery but didn’t sound as desolate as it had only a few minutes earlier.

“I know,”

His large hands framed her face as he pulled her into him, foreheads braced as they just took a moment to breathe.

“I can’t promise that nothing will ever happen to me no more than you can. But I can promise that I will never give up, and I know you won’t either. And I know that you will do everything you can to bring me back just like I would do the same for you,”

His eyes fell shut as she spoke and after a beat she felt him begin to relax. Without looking he turned his head, hand coming up to grab hers so he could press a kiss into the palm.

“I love you,” he said softly, “I can’t lose you,”

“I love you too,” she replied and slipped a hand over the back of his head, gently tugging him forward until he had his head on her chest where she knew he could hear her heart.

She didn’t know how long they sat there like that, but she knew he needed the physical, tactile reinforcement that she was present, that she was alive and he hadn’t lost her.

There was quiet knock on the door that she knew could only belong to Digg. With a sad smile at being interrupted she sat up and wiped her thumbs under his eyes, kissing the bridge of his nose before she planted her hands on his shoulders and used him as leverage to get up. However, his hands found her hips and lifted her in one smooth motion setting her down in front of the chair.

She let her palm stroke softly over the side of his face and let their fingers intertwine before she called out, “Come in, Digg”

The door pushed open slowly as Oliver rose to a stand, wrapping one arm around her back as Digg entered.

“Sorry, but Jackson needs to get going and he wants an answer,”

For a moment she was dumbstruck. She had completely forgotten about the actual event that had caused her to drag Oliver to another room in the first place.

The decision to tell her parents what she’d been through this past week or leave them in the dark.

She recalled Moira’s obvious worry and reaction to her safe return and she wasn’t even Felicity’s mother. She couldn’t imagine what hell her own parents would have gone through if they had known. Everything that had happened with Nate seven years ago rolled through her mind, along with images of her mom sobbing in the hospital when she thought Felicity was asleep. No. She couldn’t do that to her again, especially with it being so much more this time. Her stomach rolled as a flash of memory caused her to see Nate’s prone form bleeding out on the floor because she’d killed him.

With a gasp her head jerked up, “I’m not going to tell them.” she blurted out, causing both Oliver and Digg to look at her in surprise, but she knew as soon as she said it she was making the right choice.

“We help people, it’s what we do. I can’t...I can’t tell them now. I can’t let them feel all that fear and pain when it changes nothing. It’s done. It’s finished--”

“Felicity, you can’t just…” Oliver started, turning so he was in front of her now, hand trailing around to stay on her hip.

“What? Ignore it? Pretend it didn’t happen?” she finished for him with a slight tilt of her head and a knowing look, “I’m not doing that, I couldn’t. But...we keep secrets for a reason and that reason is to help and protect others.” she paused and then stepped forward, fingers resting lightly against his shirt, “I’m not ignoring this, Oliver, I promise, but I’ve got you and John,” she said with a significant look Digg’s direction who gave her a single nod in return, “You’re the only ones I’d want helping me through this.”

Oliver’s eyes clouded for a second and then he dropped his head with a sigh, “I’ll support you in whatever you decide.” he didn’t sound resigned but instead that he felt he held some sort of responsibility for her making the choice she had.

And she supposed he did. Working with him at night, with the secrets they were forced to keep she had come to see that transparency was not always the answer. There was a greater good. They made those decisions everyday. It’s why Oliver wore a hood and a mask and why they operated out of a top secret lair. Not everyone was meant to see behind the curtain.

Her family was about to be rocked by the knowledge that Nate was dead. A shiver went through her at how much worse it all would be if they not only knew that he had held her captive for a week but that she had been the one to kill him.

“Hey, if you’re having second thoughts it’s okay,” Oliver’s voice broke through, his hand warm and strong at her waist,

She shook off the images that were trying to swamp her and gave him a tremulous smile, “I’m...okay...it’s how it needs to be,”

Digg made a small sound and shifted backwards, looking down the hallway, “Sorry, Jackson’s in the foyer waiting,”

Now that the focus was back on her all the anxiety and fear she’d felt before came rushing back. Her hands were tingling again and she could feel her chest tighten.

“Tell him we’ll be there in a minute,” Oliver said and she could feel his gaze burning into her,

As soon as Digg had left the doorway Oliver pulled her into his arms. He didn’t say a word, just let her hold onto him while she tried to tramp down the rush of panic rising.

“Guess it’s my turn,” she said with a wavery laugh that they both knew wasn’t real,

“We don’t have to go out there until you’re ready,” his hands slipped up and down her arms reassuringly,

“I know, I just...if I do it it’s done and hopefully I’ll never have to see him again so...let’s do it.”

They found Jackson and the other agent right where Digg said they would be. Lance was conspicuously missing and no one else seemed to be around.

As soon as they came into view Jackson began to speak but she held up her hand to stop him, “It’s not necessary. I’ve made my decision. I’d like to remain unnamed in the reports, this is going to be hard enough on everyone as it is.”

Jackson nodded once, “It’s a difficult choice, but I understand. I’m very sorry you went through this ordeal Ms. Smoak and if you need anything from myself or the Bureau in the future I’ve left my card with your bodyman.”

“Thank you, Agent Jackson,”

Digg moved forward to show them out, but Oliver didn’t drop his hardened stance until he heard the door click shut. When it did she let herself sag, Oliver moving half a step forward so she could lean against his chest.

His arms came up around her, half support, half comfort and she let him take even more of her weight.

“You okay,” the worry in his voice was back and she wondered how long it would take to go away completely,

“Just tired all of a sudden. This is more activity than I’ve had in days,” she froze as she realized what she’d said. Oliver let out a harsh puff of air in response and held her closer.

“Then lets get you back upstairs so you can rest,”

The thought of sliding back between his sheets, cool pillow under her head with Oliver at her back was enough to make her emit a contented hum.

They hadn’t made it two feet when the sharp click of heels on marble caught their attention and they turned to see Moira heading towards them.

“Felicity, dear this was delivered for you while you were in your meeting,” she was holding out a plain white envelope with no distinguishable marks.

Taking it automatically, Felicity’s brows drew together in confusion, not understanding what could have been delivered to her at the Queen mansion.

It wasn’t until she’d flipped it over and seen the return address that her mind went blank and all the air left her body.

The delivery was from Dr. Anderson’s office. It was the results from her bloodwork.

 


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: THANK YOU! To stick with and continue reading a story this long is an undertaking as a reader and I can't thank you enough for your commitment. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Please let me know what you think.**

_Previously in 'Times Like These'_

_They hadn't made it two feet when the sharp click of heels on marble caught their attention and they turned to see Moira heading towards them._

_"_ _Felicity, dear this was delivered for you while you were in your meeting," she was holding out a plain white envelope with no distinguishable marks._

_Taking it automatically, Felicity's brows drew together in confusion, not understanding what could have been delivered to her at the Queen mansion._

_It wasn't until she'd flipped it over and seen the return address that her mind went blank and all the air left her body._

_The delivery was from Dr. Anderson's office. It was the results from her bloodwork._

**Chapter 31**

Somehow Felicity managed to not completely fall apart. She could feel Oliver at her back, hands at her waist and she knew he must be talking to her but she couldn't exactly make out the words. Moving too quickly and too conspicuously she flipped the envelope over and clutched it to her stomach, covering the address, although by the look in Moira's eyes she had already seen from where it had been delivered.

Felicity froze not knowing what to do next although she knew she was unwilling to read potentially life altering results in the middle of the foyer.

"Oliver, do you think you'll be down for lunch or should I speak to the kitchen about having a tray sent up?" Moira asked evenly, though her gaze never left Felicity,

With a stifled gasp that was louder than she would have preferred, Felicity felt her body sink back the few remaining inches that had separated her and Oliver. He must have picked up on his mother's cues because his reply was almost immediate even if his voice was strained.

"I think a tray might be best,"

"Then I'll see that it's done," Moira said with a forced smile. She gave Felicity a supportive look and then headed towards the interior of the house.

The trip back to his room was a blur. She didn't remember walking up the stairs, or down the hall. The next thing she knew was sitting on the couch in his room with Oliver crouched in front of her looking grave.

"Breathe," he said and she took in a gulping inhale of air, lungs burning. She hadn't even realized she'd been holding her breath. His hands clamped over hers, the envelope crushed beneath both their grasps now but he never looked down at it. "Whatever it says, we'll deal with it."

It was the steady strength of his voice that made her take another breath, and then another, each one more even than the one before.

"Okay," she said quietly as he slipped his hands off hers but left them resting lightly on her thighs, thumbs rubbing short comforting paths as he patiently waited.

Felicity dropped her gaze downwards and had to force one hand to let go, smoothing out the wrinkles in the envelope as best she could before she reached up and adjusted her glasses. Her eyes flicked to Oliver who just stared back, all the support and love she needed just then being sent to her with his look alone.

The sound of the envelope tearing open was loud and muffled at the same time. The pounding rush of blood in her her head making her ears almost throb with the force. As she slid out the single folded piece of paper she suddenly couldn't bring herself to look at Oliver. The information inside could change everything. But as she drew it out with shaking hands she found herself paused with her thumb inside the fold, unable to open it.

With the tension growing she finally raised wet eyes and held the paper out towards him.

"Please,"

He blanched, unable to hide his shock or his fear for half a second and then he was taking it from her and standing. He didn't move away, still so close his pants brushed her bare shins, but she shivered all the same.

She heard him clear his throat and watched him shift his weight, the hand that dangled at his side going through the unconscious motions of feeling a bow string between his fingers. When his hand opened up she took the unspoken invitation and grabbed it with both of hers. He squeezed tight and then she he shook open the paper.

There was a long beat of silence where neither of them breathed, her fear rising with each passing second.

"I don't...I don't know what all of this means. It's just strings of letters and numbers and percentages and-" he growled, causing her stomach to drop before he cut himself off, "Wait…" he pulled his hand away and her head flew up to see him opening the final fold. He was silent as he read and then a smile broke his face.

"There's a note...you're fine. Everything is fine," the tremble in his voice couldn't be hidden, "You're a little anemic and dehydrated but...everything else was negative."

"Oh-"

They just stared at each other until Oliver slowly sank down next to her and handed her the paper as if he knew she'd need to see the truth for herself.

She felt his hand warm on her back as she took the results and skimmed over the form. He was right, everything was in normal ranges or had negative next to it. The only abnormalities were confirmed in the typed note she found at the bottom followed by Dr. Anderson's signature. She once again recommended food and fluids and rest but assured Felicity the sedative had no residual side effects and she had nothing else to worry about.

Neither of them seemed to expect the half laugh, half sob that burst from behind her lips. The paper fell forgotten to the floor as Oliver's arms wrapped tight around her, his broad shoulders blocking out the rest of the world until all she could see was the blurred image of the shirt she was pressed against, all she could feel was his solid strength under her palms as she clutched his arms, and all she could smell was the faint trace of leather as she breathed him in.

She hadn't realized how much waiting to know the results of the blood work had been affecting her until she'd felt the weight lifting. The relief left her numb but in a good way. As Oliver's hand stroked over her head she let out another shuddering breath and burrowed closer into his chest.

There would be nothing following her now. No unknowns and nothing so unspeakable she'd had to check the tests off on a form instead of verbalizing them. Yes, she still had miles to go before she recovered but the peace of mind she'd received through that one piece of paper meant she could take her first true step forward.

She let one long controlled breath move past her lips, sinking further into Oliver as she did, feeling a knot beneath her breastbone loosen. The silence that surrounded them wasn't oppressive, if anything it was comforting and as she lay there with the strong thrum of his heart beneath her ear and his hand combing through her hair she hoped this was the first of many steps forward for them.

At some point she curled her legs up on the couch and shifted her position against Oliver, one hand lightly gripping his shirt while the other lay loose over his thigh. She was drowsy and only half aware when he propped his feet on the table and settled back into the couch.

She woke up to Oliver shifting underneath her, his quiet voice shushing her as he tried to slide a pillow under her head as he stood. She blinked at him confused, pushing loose hair out of her face and adjusting her glasses as she attempted to sit up.

"It's just the tray, go back to sleep if you want," he said with a soft smile, turning to head to the door at the repeated knock.

By the time he came back she was perched on the edge of the couch, smoothing wrinkles out of her skirt and wiping a hand down the side of her face in hopes there weren't marks from where she'd been laying against him.

"You didn't have to get up," he said as he sat the tray down,

"Is it really lunch already?" her voice was slightly rough from sleep and she cleared her throat as she eyed the food he'd just uncovered suspiciously.

Her stomach however, could only be described as tratorious. Just as she was about to open her mouth and claim she wasn't that hungry a loud grumble could be heard. Her cheeks went pink as Oliver's lips twitched in response.

"I guess I could eat a little something," she replied with as much dignity as she could, taking a piece of buttered toast that was somehow still warm.

He didn't say a word, but his mouth was still tilted upwards and his eyes lighter than she'd seen them. She could feel his gaze on her as she slowly ate the toast, taking her time even though she had to admit she actually did feel like eating.

After she'd finished one perfectly cut triangle she gratefully accepted the cup of coffee Oliver had poured for her and gave a significant look between him and the food that was now growing cold.

The first sip made her hum appreciatively. She hadn't had coffee since she'd been taken. A flash of memory struck her; when she'd ordered a cup at the diner only to have Nate stop her. With a sharp jerk of her head to the side she shook it off and squelched the panic that was trying to rise up.

Her eyes flew open to see Oliver frozen, plate in one hand the other outstretched as he watched her carefully. With hands that only shook a tiny bit she gave him a tremulous smile and took another sip. "Sorry, it's just been awhile since I had coffee,"

His face fell for half a second before he recovered. Blinking twice he filled his plate and passed her another piece of toast and some fruit, their fingers skimming as she took it from him, chest swelling in gratitude that he was allowing her the time to work through her demons and somehow knowing she didn't need his intervention just then, only his silent support.

Nothing else was said and she ate more than she thought she could. Oliver emptied two plates until there was nothing left on the tray and she wondered how little he'd eaten while she'd been gone.

The test results had seemed to bring an ease to both of them that hadn't been there earlier. His shoulders weren't so tight, his back not as stiff. She found herself able to look around the room and notice things she'd hadn't been able to mere hours before, her breaths somehow easier.

But now that they were finished eating, she found herself unsure of what to say, once again flattening the fabric of her skirt as she fiddled with the hem until he reached over and covered both her hands with one of his.

"Stop worrying," he murmured, standing before she could say a word and drawing her to her feet next to him. His fingers traced along her brow, skipping over the side of her glasses to trail down her cheek until his palm opened up and cupped the soft skin beneath her ear. Her breath hitched as she turned into his touch, "You should rest,"

She opened her mouth in protest but he was staring back with one eyebrow already lifted in anticipation, "Rest," he repeated with more force, but still that quiet, intense tone she'd only ever heard him use with her,

The fear was still there. It lurked in his eyes, far in the back where he thought he could hide it but she saw. It would fade, she knew, but this experience would follow them both for a long time. Just when she'd think they'd put it past them, just when she hadn't thought of it in months something would come along to remind them and this particular fear would be there.

"Okay," she agreed, "But I'm going to change if that's alright." her eyes lifted to his, "There's not a dinner or anything later…" the sudden thought of having to sit through a formal meal with the Queen's filled her with apprehension. She wasn't ready for that yet.

Oliver's other hand came up to lay against the other side of her face, "No, no dinner, nothing you don't feel up to,"

With an exhale of relief she leaned into him before pulling herself forward to give him a lingering hug.

She was halfway to the closet before it struck her how much more calm she felt. The night before the thought of Oliver leaving her in the bedroom alone had paralyzed her with fear and she'd insisted she go with him, but now she felt safe there and sure enough to go change on her own. However, she was certain that sense of security wouldn't extend outside the very solid doors of his room, just the idea of leaving without him sent a small shiver down her spine.

With her fingers on the handle she turned to see him still standing where she'd left him, hands in his pockets, but with a look of pride in his eyes. He recognized the shift and her newfound ability even if it was just a small step.

She threw him a quick smile and tried to walk through the door before she fully had it open, causing her to stumble forward half a step and let out a huff of irritation. She was rolling her eyes his direction, smile now wide enough to show teeth cracking her face as she stepped back and tried the handle again. Just as she stepped through she saw him pinch the bridge of his nose and duck his head, her heart flipping at his reaction to her doing something so normal.

The door shut behind her with a soft click, smile slow to fade from her face as she pulled off her shoes and sat them on the shelf. Oliver's dress shirt beckoned to her once again and she felt no qualms about wearing it even if it was only midday.

She had just untucked her blouse and had started on the buttons when a low buzz came from pocket. Brows drawing together she fumbled in the folds of her skirt, unable to pull the phone out until the third ring.

The caller i.d said 'Mom' and a wave of fierce need washed over her as she answered the call without pause.

"Mom!" she cried, high and wavery before she could press her lips into a tight line in a weak attempt to keep herself calm.

There was a shaky exhale on the other end, " _Oh Felicity, I'm so glad you answered. I know you've been busy this week with that merger. I was so worried I wasn't going to get ahold of you and…"_ she cut herself off and Felicity felt her heart clench,

"It's good to hear from you," she blurted out, no where near sounding normal, but her mother didn't seem to notice.

The quiet from her mom should have been the first thing to resonate, but she was too happy and relieved and comforted by hearing her voice that nothing else seemed to be getting through.

When Oliver pushed the door open and stepped inside with a hollow, stricken look on his face she thought something terrible had happened. Felicity froze for a long moment, unable to think of anything that could be making him look like that. And then it hit her; she knew why her mother was calling.

" _Darling, I have terrible news. Nate's dead,"_

The world tilted crazily for a second, her body going numb as a high pitched buzz filled her ears. She wasn't aware as Oliver caught her under the arms, or how the phone almost fell from her suddenly toneless fingers. Her family had been told about Nate, they'd been told he was dead, but they had no idea that she was the one who had killed him.

With a snap her senses returned to her leaving her disoriented as she looked around to find herself now sitting on the large ottoman, half propped against Oliver. He held the phone now and looked as if he was about to talk to her mother. It was the tinny, distant call of her name from the device that made her stretch out a trembling hand and take it from him.

" _Felicity!"_

"I'm here, Mom, sorry...I" she didn't know how she got the words out, guilt swamped over her in a tidal wave and she actually felt herself sway under the weight of it. Oliver's hand slid down her arm to wrap around her waist and she knew if he hadn't been there she would have been in a heap on the floor.

" _I know it's a shock, especially after everything...I thought maybe the F.B.I would have contacted you as well. It's such a terrible thing. Dan is devastated...I've never heard him like that before. They told him there was some sort of altercation at a motel...he didn't say where."_ her mother had the tendency to continue talking in moments of high emotion, a trait Felicity had come by honestly, " _I know the boy was troubled and he hurt you and I can't forgive that but...he was still my nephew."_  the breath snagged in Felicity's chest, snarled and jagged, making her feel like she was trying to breathe through knives, the serrated kind that caught and tore. She brought a hand up to cover her mouth to keep the desperate moans at bay that fought to escape.

" _It's just such a shame. I'll be over at your aunt and uncle's today. Diane just keeps going on about how all of this is her fault...it's an awful thing all around. Anyways darling, I don't know anything about a memorial service or funeral it's just too soon and I'm sure everyone would understand if you don't come, I certainly do, but you do what you think is best."_

It was too much.

With a gasping almost animalistic cry she let her hand fall, unable to respond. The thought of going to the funeral of the man she had killed was more than she could handle just then.

As tiny white sparks danced in her vision and the pressure in her chest grew she didn't hear Oliver end the call with her mother, or feel his hands on her face as he knelt in front of her. The last thing she remembered was him telling her she needed to breathe, but he sounded very far away.

She came to with a foggy head, disoriented and confused until she blinked open heavy swollen eyes to see a wide expanse of dark blue stretched out before her.

Oliver's bed. She didn't remember how she got there. She did remember the phone call with her mother and the guilt and grief that had overwhelmed her.

She lay on her side, the space next to her empty, but she had an unobstructed view of the room and could hear the shower going through the open bathroom door.

A pang made her heart clench as she recalled her mother's words, how she'd felt sympathy for Nate and his parents. It made Felicity angry. It hurt to hear her mother say she'd be providing comfort to her brother. Felicity knew it wasn't rational, she knew that if her mother knew the truth she'd be by her side in a second and if anything the phone call had only strengthened her resolve to not tell them what had happened. But it didn't mean it still didn't sting.

However, as soon as that feeling had settled within her it was quickly suppressed by the guilt she couldn't shake. She was the one responsible for her uncle's devastation, she'd taken away his son. Regardless of what Nate had done they still loved him and he was gone now because of her.

Lost in a swirl of ever darkening thoughts she didn't notice when the shower shut off or when Oliver emerged from the bathroom. It took his voice breaking the silence for her to come back to the present.

"Hey, you're awake," he said quietly as he approached the bed,

When she didn't reply he climbed in and rolled to face her, propped up on one elbow. "How do you feel?" he reached out with gentle fingers to push a lock of hair behind her ear and for the first time she noticed she was back in his dress shirt.

She let out a shuddering breath and curled herself into a smaller ball, "Sad, angry, guilty, confused…" she began and then trailed off, knowing there were a hundred more emotions she could list and not even begin to scratch the surface.

Her eyes fell shut as he brushed away a tear she didn't even know had fallen.

"That's normal," he assured her,

"I killed him," she said quickly, eyes opening to see Oliver looking at her with nothing but concern and love and guilt of his own,

"I killed,"

Because that's really what it all condensed down to. She'd taken a life.

Oliver swallowed hard, eyes never leaving hers. His fingers ran down her arm to her hand where he drew it out from beneath the pillow so he could twine her fingers with his. "The first time I killed, it wasn't a person, it was a bird." his voice was quiet but more serious than she'd ever heard him. His thumb stroked over her knuckles as he paused and she realized he'd never told anyone this before.

"Yao Fei had caught the bird and trapped it... left it in a cage next to me. He'd just point to it and say one word in Mandarin. I had no idea what he meant, I assumed he was saying bird or food. I was...I was starving and he knew it but he wouldn't share his food with me. He'd just point at the bird and repeat the word. Finally he mimed breaking the birds neck and...I was horrified." he gave her a small self deprecating smile and squeezed her hand, "I had never done anything like that before, the closest I'd ever come was fishing and even then there had been someone to take care of that for us," his eyes dropped for a second as a flare of shame cut across his face at the person he'd been before the island and it was her turn tighten her grip and let him know he wasn't that spoiled kid anymore.

"I was so hungry though and I knew I had to do it, I didn't have a choice. Before I did it though I told the bird I was sorry." his head tilted to the side slightly and she could see the remorse he still held for a bird he'd killed years ago. "After that was when I found out that Yao Fei could actually speak English, and the word he'd been saying, it didn't mean food or bird." he stopped and held her gaze, as her heart began to beat in triple time, "It meant survive,"

"I had to kill that bird so I could survive. Yao Fei was teaching me how to keep myself alive and also teaching me to understand that killing for survival was something I had to learn to live with."

"What you did...it was survival, you had no choice. You can still feel bad about it, you can still wish there had been another way, but you can't second guess it. Because then you're saying you choose his life over yours and...god, Felicity I'm so glad you didn't,"

He looked at her so earnestly, so intently, the weight of his words and the strength of his gaze seemed to bore straight into her soul.

"I'm glad too," she said haltingly, "but I feel like I shouldn't be because...he's my cousin and my mom said my uncle's devastated and...that's because of me,"

Before she could blink Oliver had moved back and captured her face in his hands. "No," he said forcefully, "It's because of him. He put this in motion. He did this to you. This is not your fault,"

His voice broke and through a glaze of tears she saw him slide his hand along her jaw before tangling in her hair to draw her towards him.

"Okay," she whispered into his chest, palms pressed over his heart as he rubbed small circles into her scalp, "Okay,"

It was a difficult thing for her to accept and to rationalize but the experience Oliver had shared struck a chord within her and she felt some of the burden she'd placed on her heat lifting.

"I might need you to remind me of that...like at least a hundred times," she mumbled into his warm skin with a light chuckle,

"I can do that,"

With a small sniff she shifted closer to him, threading one leg between his as she placed a lingering kiss over his Bratva tattoo and found a comfortable spot for her head.

The quiet was comforting and she found herself growing tired once again. Instead of being agitated at losing more time to sleep she accepted it, knowing her body needed a chance to recover. She was ready to move forward, and healing was the first step.

Just before she fell asleep she heard him whisper one word in Mandarin, and she knew what it meant.

For the next two days she felt like she was slowly waking up from a dream. Felicity slept more than she had since before college and no matter when or how she woke Oliver was never far from her side. She still had nightmares but nothing as plaguing as that first night back.

She'd also started to venture out of the room, and had discovered a secluded patio that had an excellent view of the gardens. Oliver sent for trays of drink or food anytime she sat still longer than a few minutes and after the first couple times she'd just give him a long suffering look and a mouthed thank you.

But she had noticed as wonderful and supportive and solid as Oliver had been he was starting to get antsy. Anytime her thoughts strayed to the office or the lair she'd shoved them aside, not ready to think about that yet, but she knew Oliver wasn't used to inactivity.

The afternoon of her third full day back he couldn't even sit as they waited for lunch to be brought outside. He paced a path on the finely manicured strip of grass that separated the slate tiles from a low stone wall.

"Oliver…" she waited a beat and called his name again, a small smirk crossing her face as he jerked his head towards her with a short 'hmm', "Find Digg and go pummel the crap out of each other in the gym, please, for both our sakes."

He stood frozen, eyes narrowed in confusion as if he didn't comprehend what she'd just asked of him. When it did he shook his head and closed the distance between them in three long strides, dropping to one knee at her side.

"No, I'm...I'm sorry, I'm fine, and I'm not leaving you alone," he said so earnestly she felt the hot sting of tears behind her eyes,

She raised a hand and cupped his cheek, "Oliver, you're going to have to eventually," she'd meant it to be light but the stricken, almost terrified look that crossed his face made her regret it immediately.

His eyes were fixated on the ground, hands fisted at his sides. Quickly she moved to the edge of the chair, as her other hand came to rest against the side of his neck. "Look at me," she implored, applying pressure under his chin until he lifted his head, "I'm safe here, nothing is going to happen to me."

They both needed this. As much as she loved him, and as safe as he made her feel she knew there was a tipping point where they could become too dependent upon each other. She'd felt an irrational flash of fear that morning when Oliver had spent longer than usual getting dressed and it had left her on edge, but not because she hadn't been near him. Instead she'd been wondering how they were going to function when they re-entered the real world. This was much a test for herself more than anything.

Oliver didn't look convinced though, he dropped a hand on her knee and rubbed it soothingly, "If you're not ready-"

"I might never be ready, but as much as I love you we can't hide here forever. We have to do this...baby steps. You down in the gym and me out here. And you can't tell me Digg won't have security moved around once he knows." she lifted a brow and gave him a knowing look,

He let out a long sigh and let his head drop forward to rest against her collarbone. With soft fingers she stroked the back of his neck, ducking her head to press a kiss to his hair.

"Figured I'd find you out here. Thought you could use a little girl time, that is if I could drag my brother away...whoa!" Thea's voice could be heard through the open door, and Felicity looked up to see her paused on the top step, "Sorry...didn't want to interrupt, I'll just…"

"No!" Felicity cried out as Oliver raised his head, eyes boring into hers asking her without words if she was sure, if she felt safe, if she could handle this. She stroked one hand over his face, giving him a private smile in response. "Actually, your brother was about to go get a workout in and I would love the company,"

Thea's brows raised into her hairline but she didn't say a word.

Felicity looked back at Oliver who still seemed reluctant to leave, "See, and now I won't be alone."

He blew a half frustrated breath through pursed lips before his eyes softened, fingers trailing over the fading bruises on her face. "An hour. No more," he conceded, just before he rose to his feet, leaning in at the same time to plant a bruising kiss to her mouth. She gasped in surprise and he took advantage by snaking his tongue in to slide against hers, sending a shot of heat to her center.

She was still breathless and a little light headed when he stepped away, turning towards his sister who was pretending not to watch them. Thea cocked her head to the side and gave him an exasperated look which he returned. "Not a word, Speedy. How many times have I walked in on you and the kid?"

Her mouth snapped shut at that, and Felicity caught his wry grin as he headed for the door. Just before he stepped inside he turned to meet her gaze and she felt her heart swell with the overwhelming emotion she saw in him.

One long blink and when she opened her eyes he was gone. Felicity clapped her hands together and sat up straighter suddenly feeling vulnerable and alone even though Thea was with her.

Thankfully the younger Queen had inherited her mother's ability to read a room and moved forward without hesitation, "Now that your shadows gone, how about we get to the important stuff, like a manicure." she waved a small zippered bag she held, her voice a touch too bright, but Felicity appreciated the effort.

She let out a shaky laugh and nodded, "I think that sounds perfect," a quick glance at her hands showed mostly missing polish and uneven nails that hadn't been touched since before she'd been taken.

Thea sat down and got right to work, chatting about innocuous things that didn't need much in the way of response for which Felicity was grateful. It took time before she stopped cutting her eyes to the door every two seconds looking for Oliver. When a black suited security agent came into view on the other side of the garden she almost jumped out of her skin.

The other girl noticed her reaction and turned her head away from where she'd been filing Felicity's nails, noticing the agent with a small snort through her nose. "Figures," she muttered as she went back to what she was doing. There was a short beat of silence before she spoke again. "He loves you...my brother I mean, not Paul over there, although he is one of the nicer ones."

"I uh...I love him too,"

"I always wondered why he brought you in as his EA," but before Felicity could reply she kept on going, "And then one day I stopped in for something, lunch maybe, and you two were in the conference room...I just watched you. You were...easy with each other. He was lighter." she put the file down and clutched Felicity's fingers as she looked up, "The brother I had before the island is gone, but this new one...the one I get to see more and more of when he's around you, I like him a lot."

Words were stacked up in her throat and all Felicity could do was squeeze Thea's fingers tighter as she fought back tears.

Forty minutes later they were both holding cups with the pads of their fingers while their nails dried. The bright fuschia Thea had brought out for her to use had made Felicity smile. "You look like a girl who likes color," she'd stated as Felicity had nodded emphatically.

As certain as she had sounded before she'd sent Oliver away it had taken her some time to feel at ease. But after spending time with Thea and sipping tea, and eating the majority of a plate of tiny cookies she realized with a start she actually felt comfortable.

However, that feeling quickly vanished, replaced by guilt. Guilt for enjoying her time with Thea when the funeral for Nate was to be the next day. Guilt for doing something as frivolous as painting her nails when Oliver had been so obviously struggling to leave her alone. Guilt for keeping him from the office. Guilt for keeping him from the lair. She'd known Digg had put the hood on the night before just to be seen but it had made her nervous to know he was out there without backup because Oliver was with her.

With a clatter she sat her cup down heavily in the saucer. She could feel Thea's stare as she tried to get control.

"Hey, you okay?"

Felicity started, drawing her hands into her lap, twisting the hem of her skirt as she tried to think of something to say that could sound convincing.

"I know guilt face when I see it. Usually in the mirror, but Roy's got a pretty good one too." she said lightly as she reached over and laid a gentle hand over Felicity's, "You were gone for eight days...why do you think you should be all better after being home for three."

And just like that all the tension that had been trying to overtake her faded away like it had never been there. The simple words struck her hard and all she could do was reach over and cover Thea's hand with her own, giving her a grateful smile of thanks.

That was how Moira found them, the sound of her heels announcing her presence before either woman had turned to look her direction.

"There you two are." she said by way of greeting as she made her way towards them in a striking grey business suit,

"Thought you were going to be at the office until late," Thea said as she slowly sat back,

"As did I until the finance department had to cancel." Moira replied with her hands spread wide, "Oliver can meet with them next week, if he's back in that is." she hadn't said it with a trace of accusation but Felicity immediately stiffened.

"Don't!" Thea snapped, pointing one long finger Felicity's direction and giving her a hard look.

Moira lifted an inquisitive brow Thea's direction but didn't ask any questions. "Since we're all in tonight I thought it might be nice to have dinner together," she was looking at both Felicity and Thea, but Felicity knew it was addressed entirely to her, "You're looking so much better, dear, but if you're not up to it I completely understand,"

Felicity swallowed hard and adjusted her glasses before she shot a look at Thea who was mouthing 'please' and nodding in encouragement. Then the words were coming out of her mouth before she was entirely sure of what she was saying, "I think...that sounds great Mrs. Queen, we'll be there,"

Her cheeks went pink at the realization that she's just accepted a dinner invitation for her and Oliver together.

"Excellent, I'll tell the chef. Enjoy the rest of your tea," and then she had pivoted on one very expensive heel and headed back into the house.

"Don't feel bad about the office. Seriously. Mom's got it covered for now. When you and Ollie are ready to go back it'll still be there. No rush."

"Yeah...it's just...I feel like everyone is upending their lives because of me and…"

"You're worth upending lives for,"

It was Oliver that had spoke. Her head whipped to the right to see him leaning in the doorway and she wondered how long he'd been there. Regardless, the sight of him with one shoulder propped against the brick, hands in his pocket as he looked at her like he never wanted to stop sent a thrill straight through her and she felt her pulse quicken.

She couldn't seem to look away, and even from a distance she could see his eyes darken.

"Your girlfriend roped us all into family dinner tonight, by the way. We're going to have to do some training," Thea said sardonically as Oliver finally pushed off the wall and approached,

"I ran into Mom in the kitchen, she said Felicity thought it was a good idea," he may have been talking to Thea, but Felicity knew he was really double checking to make sure she was okay with going to dinner that night,

"I do think it's a good idea,"

"Then so do I," he replied with a smile, finally at her side. His hand cupped her shoulder for a moment then slid around to stroke the back of her neck making her shiver,

"Ugh. You two are almost sickening sweet."

"Speedy…" Oliver said warningly,

"Alright, alright!" she said, holding her hands up in mock surrender, "She'll figure it out for herself real quick,"

With that Thea gathered her things and leaned down to hug Felicity, "See you at dinner. Wear a flak jacket,"

"Speedy!"

"Just kidding!" she backed away slowly with a quick grin that looked very much like her brothers,

Once his sister was gone Oliver's attention was back on Felicity and she must have had a worried look on her face, "Don't listen to her, she's just trying to cause trouble,"

"I know...I had a nice time with her," she said almost timidly, beginning to feel bad again at admitting she'd enjoyed her time alone with Thea.

But his response was genuine, "Good, I'm glad...I…" a guilty look of his own couldn't be hidden, "Digg and I had a good workout,"

A laugh burst from her lips as she rose to her feet and wrapped her arms around his middle, "We're idiots, both feeling bad for having a good time while we were apart."

He exhaled loudly and held her tight, "Yeah,"

"You sure you're okay though?" he asked, not moving to let her go,

"There were some rough moments but...Thea's great, I'm glad I got to spend time with her,"

"Me too,"

"So...dinner...with everyone," he drew out slowly, hands coasting up and down her ribcage as she lowered herself to her heels and pulled back to look at him, "You sure you're ready for that?"

"Oliver, if you had asked me weeks ago if I was ready to have dinner with your family I would have told you no," she replied with a small lift of her lips,

"You know what I mean," he returned with a short sigh,

"Baby steps, right?

He didn't say a word, just let out an even longer sigh and wrapped his arm around her as he turned, walking them back towards the house.

As they made the long trek back to his room she tried not think about what she'd committed them to.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Here it is, penultimate chapter and the one most of you have been waiting for since the beginning. I can't thank you enough for continuing to read and review and be enthusiastic about this story. It means everything. Hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think!**

 

_Previously in 'Times Like These'..._

_"_ _So...dinner...with everyone," he drew out slowly, hands coasting up and down her ribcage as she lowered herself to her heels and pulled back to look at him, "You sure you're ready for that?"_

_"_ _Oliver, if you had asked me weeks ago if I was ready to have dinner with your family I would have told you no," she replied with a small lift of her lips,_

_"_ _You know what I mean," he returned with a short sigh,_

_"_ _Baby steps, right?_

_He didn't say a word, just let out an even longer sigh and wrapped his arm around her as he turned, walking them back towards the house._

_As they made the long trek back to his room she tried not think about what she'd committed them to._

 

**Chapter 32**

 

Felicity changed as soon as they got back to his room, knowing she'd have to wear something other than a simple skirt and top for dinner. But that was hours away and Oliver's shirt and his bed looked very tempting.

She dozed off with her tablet in her lap while he stretched out on the mattress beside her watching a basketball game with one hand tucked behind his head. The voice of the announcer and consistent drone of the crowd were easy to block out and she didn't even notice when he slid the tablet from her slack grip and scooted her further down on the pillows.

It was warmth and pleasure that woke her instead of a nightmare and she sighed into it, not yet opening her eyes as she felt gentle touches skim her abdomen and up the center of her chest.

Oliver's touch. She knew by the thrill that shot through her, shifting back into the mattress and turning her head to the right where she could feel his presence.

He was barely making contact with her skin, causing her to shiver as he trailed his fingers wherever he wanted. She left her eyes closed, the unknown of where the next touch would come making a heat rise inside of her.

Her stomach contracted involuntarily as he ran the back of his knuckles over her abdomen, tracing meaningless patterns that set her entire body on edge.

His hand lifted from her waist and her breaths quickened as she anticipated where she'd feel him next. When she felt him barely graze the outside of her knee she jumped, not expecting him there. The bed dipped under them as he moved closer and she heard him make a small noise of amusement from the back of his throat. If she could see him then she knew he'd have a smirk on his face.

Slowly he allowed the roughened pads of just two fingers to lightly follow the line of her thigh, up and down, gradually moving higher and higher until he hit the hem of the shirt where it was bunched around her waist and then he kept going.

It was a quiet touch, an easy touch, and yet it made the air catch in her chest and her hand fist in the sheets below them. This bold, decisive Oliver had been missing since her return and she was very glad he was back. This was the Oliver that had teased her relentlessly, that had delighted in making her squirm, that had almost brought her to the brink with just his hands and his mouth on her neck.

She knew he was aware she was awake, but there was something electric about keeping her eyes shut that she didn't want to disrupt. When his finger followed along the edge of her underwear and then suddenly dipped beneath to stroke over her hip bone her lips parted on a breathy gasp she couldn't contain.

He stilled for a second before his thumb hooked under the thin band and tugged it down just far enough so he could continue to caress the sensitive flesh. Each swirl made her twitch, as small jolts of heat made the short track to her core.

Her teeth found her bottom lip in a weak attempt to keep quiet. She ducked her head and rounded her back slightly, but that was only to stop herself from arching it; from pushing her hips into his hands and body the way she wanted to.

The blood thrummed through her veins hot and fast as her pulse increased. When the assault on her hip suddenly stopped she was almost grateful, until she felt his touch at her elbow and then coasting up the back of her arm.

She was trembling now, lashes fluttering as she quickly began to lose the battle to keep her eyes closed. She needed to see him. Needed to see the want in his eyes, to see the desire and the confirmation that they were indeed coming out the other side of hell still whole. But as much as she needed that she didn't want to break the spell.

However, when she felt him cup the side of her jaw with a solid touch just before running his thumb over her lower lip and freeing it from her bite she couldn't stop herself.

Felicity's eyes flew open, drinking in the sight of him only a few inches away, pupils blown wide as he braced himself over her.

Heat spiraled low in her belly as he stared at her, the intensity she saw made her stop breathing as her heart hammered in her chest. Without realizing it she tried to draw her lip under her teeth again but his thumb flashed out and stopped her, letting it rest there as their eyes locked.

All it took was her lips pursing and her tongue flicking out to just wet the pad for him to give in completely. A half strangled growl came from deep behind his ribs as his mouth moved over hers, his first action to suck her lower lip into his own mouth and bite down on it himself.

This was like no other kiss they'd shared since she'd been back. This was good, this was home, this was pure and unsullied by bad memories. It was just the two of them and promises and hope and a future.

However, as soon as she'd raised her arms to follow up his wrists to his shoulders, stomach flipping at the sensations he was pulling from her he began to draw back, nipping at her mouth then moving to trail a line of hot kisses across her jaw before he let out a long frustrated sigh and dropped his head to her chest.

"Oliver…." her voice was rough, and affected, her breathing still heavy after what he'd done to her, "what…"

"I'm sorry...dinner is in an hour I...I just meant to wake you up but," he picked his head up, fingers tucking her hair behind her ear as she stared at him in confusion, "You looked so beautiful, I couldn't help myself."

It was the almost shy way he said it that made her flush and caused a rush of power go through her. A smile spread across her face and she saw the surprise in his eyes. Rough stubble, thicker than normal tickled her palm as she touched his face, lightly stroking his jaw, "I didn't mind the wake up call, Mr. Queen, quite the opposite," she said, purposely lowering her voice and then deliberately biting her lip,

Pupils that had begun to retract widened once again, and in a blink she was flat on her back with him hovering over her, powerful arms keeping him only a few inches above her. When she took a sharp breath her breasts brushed against his chest and she didn't even know when her hands had raised to coast over his sides.

He leaned in, eyes dark and predatory until he was whispering glances of his lips across her jawline, and then her ear. His tongue snaked out and traced the shell sending waves of shivers to wash over her. When he captured the industrial piercing between his teeth and put the slightest bit of pressure on it she found herself digging her nails into him as her hips lifted and she pushed up on her shoulders in response.

He let go immediately, tiny nips along the edge until he sucked on the lobe and then laved the all too sensitive skin of her neck. "I'll keep that in mind, Ms. Smoak," he murmured throatily and her hips shot north again leaving her gasping.

Slowly he straightened his arms until their only point of contact was her hands still holding tightly on to his ribs. She didn't try to hide her stuttered breath, or how she couldn't seem to look away, the intensity in their gaze keeping her locked on him.

Then like she'd been in doused in cold water she sat straight up in horror, Oliver only avoiding getting clipped in the chin due to his quick reflexes.

"Oh my god! An hour! There's only an hour until dinner?" she sputtered while he sat back on his heels and looked at her first in concern and then amusement,

She threw the covers off and made to scurry from the bed when he caught her by the waist and dragged her back against him, "Hey, you know you don't have to do this. And you don't have to get so worked up. It's just a meal, not a state dinner at the White House,"

Her head whipped around, throwing hair into his face as she looked at him incredulously, "You do know this house is  _bigger_  than the White House, right? And...your mother...I mean, she's been great, don't get me wrong. I've almost totally forgotten about that 'putting me in the Green room' thing. But...she's intimidating, and scary, and...I've been...not exactly at my best lately. This dinner means something. It's important. I'm not saying it's an audition or an interview or anything but...it's definitely more than just a dinner and we can't back out now _, I_ can't back out now."

Oliver held her tighter and let out a breath, "Felicity, it really is just dinner, I promise, no hidden agendas, no ulterior motives." his hold loosened some as he dropped his chin to her shoulder, "If you ever feel like it's too much we leave, okay. I don't care if it's the first course or dessert or anywhere in between."

Her hands draped over his and she squeezed, letting his know how much she appreciated his continued support and understanding, "Okay," she agreed, tipping her head back to press a kiss under his chin, wrinkling her nose as she reached up and ran her nails along his jaw, "Don't you think it's time you shaved? I love the stubble, don't get me wrong, " she said quickly turning so she could look at him, "But this is approaching scary wildman beard territory and...no thank you,"

He raised an eyebrow, and tried to look affronted but she merely lifted a brow of her own and gave him a challenging look, "I didn't know you had such strong opinions on my facial hair,"

"Oh, I have strong opinions about more than just that,"

She hadn't meant for the sentence to sound so loaded but it did and they both froze, eyes holding for a long moment where she could almost watch him weigh out whether to go ahead with dinner or to flip her back onto the bed.

In the end it was Felicity that cleared her throat and swallowed hard and lifted his hands off her middle as she moved from the bed. "I, uh...wow, I should go get ready. It's not black tie or anything is it? Like Victorian England?" she asked nervously, but it wasn't because of the dinner, it was because of how Oliver was still looking at her.

Mirroring her moves he slid to the opposite side of the bed and stood, making his way around the end until he was across from her, "No, not black tie," he said with a small smile and shake of his head, "Thea's even gone in her pajamas a few times," and then his eyes dropped to take in the expanse of leg she had on display just then, "But maybe not those,"

She flushed, heat filling her belly as he stared at her and she wondered how she was going to make it through dinner, but not for the reasons she'd had earlier, "I hardly think I'd wear nothing but your dress shirt to dinner. I'm sure I can find something,"

"As long you don't get rid of the shirt," he countered with an intentionally wry grin, "I have to get ready too," he added, already taking two steps towards the bathroom, but not looking away from her,

"Oliver, I love you, but please, shut up. You wake up looking like…" she waved her hand in the air in front of him indicating his always amazing looking form, "like  _that._ Us mere mortals need time."

His crossed the space between them in two quick strides, reaching out to wrap around her waist, pulling him flush to her chest as his hands slid easily beneath the shirt she wore and ran upwards, "I believe I just informed you that I was...distracted from waking you up because I couldn't seem to keep my hands off of you." as he spoke his voice got lower and lower and it took her far too long to catch on to how he was deftly unbuttoning her shirt.

He let his fingers trail over her sides, dancing across her ribs as her breath caught, before he stepped back and gave her a wink, "Shouldn't you be getting ready? Dinner's in fifty minutes now," he deadpanned and her mouth dropped open in disbelief.

He was teasing her. He'd been teasing her. And she'd been teasing him.

It felt normal and easy and as the thought passed over her she waited for the guilt but it never came. They'd been through hell, and they'd survived. She was finally able to understand what that meant.

The soft sound of the bathroom door clicking shut brought her back to the present and she looked around the now empty room with new eyes.

By the time she entered the closet she had a smile on her lips and it only grew wider when she saw a dress that she knew didn't belong to her hanging prominently as she walked in. A small note was pinned to the front although she knew it was from Thea before she even looked,

' _Thought you could use a little something special. My closet is your closet.'_

Her eyes grew wet as she read it again and fingered the fine dark blue fabric. The label was one she recognized, but could have never afforded, and she was struck by Thea's generosity.

After she'd slipped the dress on she was also surprised by how perceptive the younger girl was. The bodice fit tight with a high neck but had long billowing sleeves that gathered to fitted cuffs, effectively hiding every bruise and cut she still had, before the nipped in waist flared out in a flirty, frothy skirt that was definitely on the short side.

However, as she slid into heels and stood in front of the mirror, pulling her hair off her face with one hand she had to admit she looked good. The color made her eyes pop and warmed up her still pale face. And she knew Oliver would like it.

They passed in the doorway of the bathroom, not saying a word and not needing to. His eyes raked over her, taking in everything from the stilettos she was wearing for the first time since being back, to the dress he knew didn't belong to her. His brows lifted appreciatively as she took in his freshly shaven face, his usual amount of stubble left and she gave a short nod as their eyes clashed just before she shut the door behind her.

When she stepped out twenty minutes later, make up done, hair in a ponytail her mouth went dry at the sight that greeted her. Oliver stood casually by the desk, absently thumbing through his phone with one hand, the other tucked lazily in his pocket. The grey suit, and white dress shirt with open collar and no tie was one of her favorites and as he raised his eyes first before raising his head she had a feeling he knew exactly what he was doing.

She knew he saw her visibly swallow, and the controlled, intentional grin he gave her was enough to make her stomach erupt in a swarm of butterflies. "That smile doesn't work on me," she lied, as she took a few shaky steps forward to prove how unaffected she was even though the closer she got the more she noticed little things that were going to drive her crazy the rest of the night; the contrast between the edge of his white shirt cuff and the tanned skin of his hand, the way fit of the jacket seemed to make him lean when she knew all she had to do was run a hand beneath to feel the ridges of pure muscle, the color of his eyes as they sparked and deepened as he looked at her like he wanted to have her for dinner instead of go downstairs.

His grin only grew wider as he swept a look from head to toe that made her entire body tingle, "I think the smle works a little bit," he countered, thumbing his phone off and slipping it into his pocket,

"Don't flatter yourself, cock-" the words caught in her throat as his eyes flew to hers, "cocky isn't a good look on you," she managed to finish, licking her lips nervously as he slowly approached,

She gasped when she felt his touch, just the tips of his fingers on her elbow as he cupped it and drew her near, but the predatory expression on his face had vanished, "You look amazing," he said in a whisper, leaning down to kiss the corner of her mouth,

When he pulled back he let his hand follow down the length of her arm before lightly gripping her fingers and lifting them up. Oliver brushed his lips over her knuckles, making a small tingle go through her before he looked down and smiled, rubbing his thumb across the tops of her fingers. "I like this," he said, indicating her new bright pink manicure, "This is my Felicity,"

She knew he'd meant the words to come out easily and without weight, but they both went still at his tone. It was loaded, and carried emotions and implications that made her breath quicken and her blood rush. "Yours?" she questioned in a half strangled voice,

"Yes," he replied immediately, other hand settling on her waist to pull her hips flush against his.

Her palm skimmed up the front of his shirt to land directly over his heart as she silently asked him the same.

"Yes," he said again and she swore her heart flipped in her chest,

Somehow this went beyond 'I love you'. This was a commitment beyond anything they'd ever made before. Beyond friends, beyond partners. This was a vow. A promise that included a lifetime and they both understood that at the same time.

Without a word she slid both arms around him and tucked her head under his chin. He held her close, the rapid beat of his heart under her ear the physical evidence that he felt the same. But she hadn't needed it, all she'd had to do was look in his eyes to see the truth.

They stood like that until Oliver's phone chimed and she startled. He pulled it from his pocket with an exasperated sigh and slight roll of his eyes that seemed to only be reserved for his sister.

"Thea's threatening to send Roy up if we don't come down immediately," he reported,

Felicity couldn't help but smile, "Well, we can't do that to poor Roy, guess it's time then."

Nerves struck her and she found herself stepping back from him and repeatedly smoothing out her skirt and adjusting her glasses. Oliver captured her hand in his and pushed the frames up her nose a fraction, "Hey, stop worrying, it's just dinner,"

"You keep saying that but...it doesn't feel like just dinner. Just dinner to me is an open pizza box and my pajamas, or Thai in front of my computers in the lair….this is-"

She didn't get a chance to finish her thought because his lips cut her off, pressing insistently into hers as he coaxed them open and swept his tongue inside. As soon as she sank into him he slowed his assault, dragging a long low moan from the back of her throat before he let her go.

"Just dinner," he repeated, and all she could do was nod,

Automatically her hand rose, ready to remove the traces of her lipstick from his mouth but there was nothing there, "Wow, they weren't lying when they said the color wouldn't transfer. I'm going to need to get one in every color,"

A glint filled his eyes as he tucked her hand into his arm and turned towards the door, "I can see where that feature could be...helpful,"

She gasped when she realized what he was implying.

"In the office…" he began as they stepped out into the hallway,

Felicity cleared her throat and shot him a look under her lashes, "In the lair…" she continued for him, "Digg would appreciate it,"

"Elevators,"

"The car,"

"Coat closets,"

"Rooftops,"

"Zip-lines,"

"Boring galas,"

"Boring dinners,"

They continued to trade off various locations, each one making an image flash in her mind of exactly what they could do in each of those places.

When they reached the first balcony he stopped suddenly and turned to her with what she could only describe as an evil grin.

"Staircases," he said with a flash of white teeth before she found herself being pushed into the sturdy wooden banister behind her, Oliver's hands splayed across her back holding her securely as he once again kissed her senseless.

It was the purposeful and overly loud throat clearing by Thea that forced them apart. Felicity made a squeak of embarrassed surprise as she snuck a look below to see the smirking visage of Thea Queen looking right at her.

"Dinner was suppose to start twenty minutes ago," she called with a tone of superiority she probably rarely got to use with Oliver, "What could you have possibly been doing, brother dear?"

Face red, Felicity could only try and keep herself from saying something that would make it all worse as Oliver let out a huff of exasperation and wrapped an arm around her back as they finished the descent into the foyer.

"Leave your brother alone, Thea," Moira admonished lightly as she entered the space just as Felicity and Oliver made it to the bottom of the stairs. "I'm pleased Felicity was feeling well enough to attend,"

Felicity's hand tightened on Oliver's sleeve for a second as Moira headed straight towards her and he only had time to give it a comforting squeeze as he let go before she was being embraced. "You look wonderful, dear," Moira said in her ear before she pulled back, and turned to Oliver.

Thea stepped forward next, also giving her a hug, "I knew that dress would look fabulous on you,"

"You really shouldn't have," Felicity began to protest but Thea cut her off with a sharp look just before nudging Roy forward,

Even he dutifully approached and pecked Felicity on the cheek, "Glad you're feeling better, Barbie," he said sincerely if a little self conscious, only slightly shuffling his feet before he moved over and shook Oliver's hand.

"I'll go tell them we're ready," Moira said brightly, "Thea, could you take everyone in please?"

Felicity watched, a little bit in awe as Moira swept from the room. Thea gave a small eye roll and shake of her head as if she wasn't buying in to the necessity of her mother's request. But she still took Roy's hand and headed into the dining room.

"For 'just a dinner' why do I feel like we've just been greeted like arriving dignitaries instead of people who have all been living under the same roof?" she said under her breath to Oliver, his hand settling low on her back as they followed the others in,

He let out a soft chuckle, "That's just Mom, she can't turn it off," he assured her, but she was still feeling a bit overwhelmed as they entered and she saw the lavishly set table. Her eyes widened as she took it all in, the toe of her shoe catching on the impossibly expensive Persian rug.

Oliver deftly turned her towards him, lowering his head so only she could hear, "Remember, we can leave right now if you want,"

"It's not...it's not  _that_ ," she said quickly, not wanting him to think she was having a relapse, "I just…"

He tugged her further to the side of the room, ignoring the looks Thea was certainly sending them. And when he spoke she was sure he'd never sounded so impassioned, "Do you remember…" his voice choked and he had to clear his throat and start again, "Do you remember the night before," and again he had to stop because she knew exactly what 'before' referred to. A cold fist tightened in her gut as she waited for him to finish, "we had made plans with a bottle of wine and an uninterrupted night…" tenderly he reached up and stroked a hand down the side of her face, "We can have that tonight, after dinner,"

She blinked at him twice, mouth dropping open slightly as the icy apprehension inside her was consumed by the burst of heat that his rapidly darkening eyes were stoking within her.

"I...I think I can make it through dinner," she said in a voice far more steady than she felt. The way he was looking at her made desire flare low in her belly, and when he let his nails scratch at the base of her spine it felt like there was no barrier between them at all.

She let out a breathy little moan and quickly bit down on her lip to stop another from emerging, but that seemed to be the wrong action. Immediately Oliver dipped his head lower, hand tightening at her waist, "Don't," he growled, making her knees weak, "You can't do that and expect me to keep my hands off of you,"

Stunned and with her body tingling with need she let her lip slip out from between her teeth which earned her another rumble from deep in his chest and a long exhale that brushed her forehead.

Thea cleared her throat again causing Oliver to jerk his head up and Felicity to take a half a step back and remember where they were.

"You two are hopeless," the younger girl said with a shake of her head,

Silently Oliver guided her to the two empty chairs across from Roy and Thea just as Moira came in to join them. She gestured for them to sit and Felicity made to pull out her chair just as Oliver did it for her.

His hand skimmed her back as she sat and it took everything in her not to show a reaction. Like she had done all those mornings ago she found herself taking a long drink from the water goblet in front of her before anyone else hadn't so much as touched their napkin. "Oh god," she exclaimed, setting the glass down carefully, "I did it again,"

"Don't worry, I would have preferred pizza in the theatre room but…" Thea gave an exaggerated tilt of her head towards where her mother sat at the end of the table,

Moira let out a small sound of disapproval as she delicately picked up her napkin and placed it in her lap, motioning to a uniformed staff member standing silently in the corner that they could begin serving. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to give Felicity a nice meal after...after everything that has happened,"

"Thank you, Mrs. Queen I appreciate everything you've done for me,"

"It was a very nice idea, Mom," Oliver joined in, his hand covering hers where it lay in her lap, idly playing with the edge of the table cloth.

Moira sent a pointed look Thea's way who just rolled her eyes and mouthed 'Suck ups' to both Felicity and Oliver. The act made her giggle, which she had to quickly cover by grabbing her napkin and faking a cough.

"Really says something when I'm the one behaving," Roy deadpanned, earning him a thwack on the arm from Thea, but making Felicity smile.

"It does indeed, Roy," Moira agreed just as the first course was served,

With the icebreaker out of the way, the meal progressed with relative ease. Thea spent a good portion of the time talking about the club, making sure to bring up stories that Roy could participate in. Felicity was happy to sit and listen, her earlier concern about the dinner mostly gone.

What hadn't disappeared was the formerly low level need and hyperawareness she had for Oliver that was rapidly growing out of control.

He seemed to find an almost constant reason to touch her. A hand draped over the back of her chair as they waited for plates to be cleared, his fingers playing through her hair. Making sure they touched when he handed her the salt shaker, thumb dragging over her knuckles. Overlapping her hand with his when he went to pour her a half glass more of wine, under the guise of ensuring the glass was steady.

By the time dessert was served she felt like a live wire. She hadn't been able to look at him for the past ten minutes because she was certain she'd melt on the spot at what she was sure to see in his eyes. She forced herself to pay attention to what Moira was saying about a meeting that had to be rescheduled and even went as far to say she'd deal with it next week when they were back in the office even though that was definitely not something she'd thought about yet and certainly hadn't discussed with Oliver. And that's when his hand found her bare thigh.

She hadn't been expecting it. Her knee jerked upright almost banging into the underside of the table as her napkin slid to the floor. Thea raise a brow her direction but didn't say anything as Felicity started to lean down to pick up the fallen fabric.

"Let me get it," Oliver offered, but she should have known it was a ruse, his voice was too low and too heavy and when she felt his warm palm slide up her calf, over her knee and under the hem of her dress as he laid the napkin back across her lap she knew she was done for.

She held out as long as she could, but with his hand splayed wide she could feel him only inches from where every drop of blood in her body seemed to be heading. His thumb drew slow careful lines up and down the outside of her thigh until he came to the fine line of stitches that were still there from the office bombing.

When he stilled she looked down first, the sight of his hand hidden by her skirt and the napkin sending some sort of wild thrill through her and then she looked up until blue eyes clashed with blue.

They were both standing in almost perfect sync, Oliver catching the back of her chair before it could tip over.

"Dinner was amazing, Mom but...we really need to see about getting Felicity's stitches out now," he said quickly, already moving around so he could take her by the elbow and very pointedly ignoring the gaping stares of his sister and her boyfriend.

"Yes, thank you, so much," Felicity threw in as she hurriedly moved her feet to keep up with Oliver's long stride,

"Of...course," Moira said, confusion written all over her face,

"Stitches? Really Ollie, that's the best you could come up with?" Thea asked pointedly as they crossed behind her,

"It's not good if they're left in too long," he bit off in reply and Felicity had to turn her head away to hide her wince at how obvious they were being.

"And another ten minutes was really going to make that much of a difference?" Thea countered, with a lift of her lips,

"Goodnight, Speedy," Oliver said through clenched teeth and before Felicity could so much as offer a wave his hand was wrapped around hers and she was being pulled from the room.

The blood was rushing through her so quick it was all she could hear. Even the sharp click of her heels on the marble floor was muted as they crossed the foyer.

They made it to the first riser when he suddenly stopped and spun her to face him, her hands coming out to brace against his chest as she looked up at him breathlessly. He looked like he was hanging on to his control by only the thinnest of threads. She'd never seen him so pushed past the brink before. He was always in control of his emotions, only rarely did that fail and when it did he always regained it in an instant. This was not momentary. As she stared into dark, burning eyes all she saw was the abyss both of them were about to enter.

Her face was framed by his large hands and he stared down at her like she was his entire world. He groaned her name, making her stomach swoop and her knees tremble as she sank into him, needing his solid strength to stay upright.

Before she could take another breath his mouth was on hers, desperate and insistent as he let days of fear and worry melt away to be replaced by the desire and attraction that had been there since the moment they'd met. He tasted like wine and chocolate, and she couldn't get enough as she returned the kiss with just as much passion.

Hot, open mouthed kisses were placed across her jaw and down her neck, a growl of frustration announcing his displeasure when the high collar of her dress impeded his path. With one bend of his knees she was suddenly being lifted, legs wrapping around his waist as his hands spanned her back, one already finding the zipper.

With her breath already coming in short pants she clung tighter when he turned and began to make his way up the stairs. Her fingers stroked through his rough stubble and she bent her head to press her lips to his, trusting he wouldn't stumble.

"You do know that was the worst... lamest...most ridiculous excuse you've ever come up with," she said, pausing between words to press a kiss someplace different.

"I do," he replied, hand kneading her ass, "And I don't care,"

Cool air covered her now bare back as he walked across the balcony. She could feel the open sides of the dress tickle her skin as they moved and she cut one glance down below, hoping no one was watching.

Then her attention was back on Oliver as he slid one warm palm up her spine, only stopping to flick open her bra, hand following up to her shoulder where he pulled down the fabric and replaced it with his mouth. She rolled her hips into his when she felt the sharp sting of his teeth, to be quickly soothed away with his tongue as his other hand hastily tugged down the bikini bottoms she wore until they were caught under the swell of her ass.

She clutched to his shoulders as her head spun, skin tingling, leaving her feet and hands numb. He was back to sucking a spot low on her throat, continuing up the last set of stairs when she felt two fingers trail across the back of her thigh and in, sweeping through her folds. A high pitched cry escaped her lips as he let out a rush of air and paused for a second before picking up his pace.

"God you're wet,"

The final few feet to his door were a blur. He sank one long finger into her just before he kicked the door shut behind them and she almost came right then, hard and fast. But then she had her back against cool wood and his hands were on her waist, pulling the dress and bra off her wrists, leaving her bare from the waist up. He plucked her glasses off and tossed them on a nearby table, but she couldn't be forced to care if they ended up there in one piece or not.

Balanced between Oliver and the door she quickly got to work undoing the buttons of his shirt, hurriedly shoving his jacket off his shoulders, immediately followed by the shirt until it became a tangled mess of fabric stuck at his elbows.

A rough low rumble came from his chest as he strained one arm forward, the seams beginning to protest. With his mouth firmly attached below her ear she shivered and swallowed hard, grabbing his left hand and tugging the material down until it fell free. It took nothing for him to shake the rest off his other arm and all the air seemed to leave her lungs when he pressed his now bare chest into hers.

She arched into him hard, back bowing away from the door until her only point of contact was the crown of her head. He hitched her higher making her gasp as her center was dragged right over his belt making her heels dig into him as she clutched desperately to his biceps.

Oliver didn't let the opportunity go to waste and laved a wet path from the sharp line of her jaw all the way down her throat. When he reached her collarbone he nipped over the sensitive flesh, teeth almost biting too hard, but each small flash of pain was quickly erased by his tongue or his lips. One hand circled her ribcage and moved firmly upwards until he was cupping her breast, fingers wrapping around the supple flesh and squeezing until she moaned. The other hand worked up the back of her head and tugged the band from her hair, an appreciative sound rumbling from him when he could thread his fingers through the golden strands.

These weren't the same touches from earlier when she'd lay in bed with her eyes closed wondering where she would feel him next. These were strong, and purposeful. This was Oliver at the boiling point, about to lose control completely and it sent flares of heat rushing through her. She wanted him like that. She needed him like that.

She lowered her eyes to see the top of his bent head where he was solely focused on covering the tops of her breasts with as many kisses as possible. Her shoulders relaxed back and suddenly there was space between them where there wasn't before. Another approving growl left his throat just as her right nipple was sucked into the hot cavern of his mouth making her grab a handful of hair as she pushed into him.

It felt like there was wildfire in her veins, spreading, consuming, until all that was left was her desire for him. He looked up then and their eyes caught, time freezing. Her stomach flipped at what she saw, he was searching, asking permission because he was only seconds away from being unable to and that knowledge sent bolts of desire straight to her core, making her hips jerk forward.

His eyes slammed shut, hands gripping her hard as he fought. His breaths came in short, ragged pants, the muscles in his neck standing out starkly due to his clenched jaw. The same storm she could see in him she felt inside herself and she couldn't deny them any longer.

Her hands found his face, pulling up insistently until he looked at her. "I need you,"

The words weren't fully out of her mouth before he surged towards her, his lips greedy as they attacked hers.

Her name spilled out as a plea, a final chance for her to pull back, to change her mind, to stop. But she didn't want to stop.

She answered by carding her fingers through his hair, using it to pull him impossibly closer as she stroked her tongue along his.

It wasn't until she felt herself falling backwards, and her hands shot out to grab frantically at his shoulders that she realized he'd walked them across the room and now had one knee planted on the bed to lower her to the mattress.

A short high gasp left her as she bounced once due to the force he used to move her. Already his hands were dragging the dress off her hips, grabbing her underwear as he did. Her heels were long gone and a flush crept up her chest at the thought that they'd come off on the stairs or in the hallway where anyone could find them.

The next thing she knew his mouth was on the inside of her knee making her jump. Through half lidded eyes she watched him straighten, standing in front of her splayed legs, one still dangling off the edge of the bed. He never looked away as he undid his belt, pants and boxers shoved down together, the raging inferno she saw within him making her heart beat triple time.

His hands landed on her thighs, solid and heavy, kneading the flesh as he worked his way north. She grabbed handfuls of the sheets beneath her, unable to keep still as he stalked his way up her body. When he reached her hips his thumbs rubbed mirrored circles over her hip bones, a keening cry bursting forth as a flood of wetness drenched her center.

He was close enough now she could touch him again and she wasted no time, running her hands over his chest, letting her nails cut down, purposely catching his nipples making him roar and move to cover her body with his.

She could feel him everywhere. His hands didn't stop; up her thighs, across her stomach, rolling a nipple between his fingers before he reached down to push her legs further apart, settling in the cradle of her pelvis like it had been made for him alone.

He was hard and insistent, the tip of his cock already pushing against her folds and she wanted it to last but also wanted to do nothing more than to draw her knees up and let him slide in. A whimpering moan made it's way out as her hips jerked towards him, causing him to brush over her clit making her see stars.

Oliver's head dropped to her breast, his hands tightening where they held her as he took in one ragged breath and then another. "Felicity-" her name came out stilted and broken even as his own hips thrust forward, both of them moaning at the contact. She heard the struggle, it was the same one she felt but she also couldn't ignore her body's overriding need. Every nerve ending called out for him. She was alive; more aware, more reactive than she had ever been before and if the raw, almost wrecked look on his face she saw as he raised his head was anything to go by, so was he.

"I need you," she repeated, breathlessly, "I want you, Oliver…"

Fear flashed across his eyes along with a darkening desire that looked primal. His entire body shuddered as he pushed up forcefully on his palms until he hovered over her, making her feel tiny. "I don't…" his jaw worked, face going red at the effort he was exerting, "I don't want to hurt you,"

Eyes wide she stared up at him in shock, a rush of emotion welling in her chest. Her hands slid over his sides and across his shoulders, feeling how he practically vibrated in his attempt to not take her right then.

"You won't hurt me," she whispered, "You can't,"

Then, without breaking eye contact she reached down and grasped him, wrapping her fingers around his hot, hard length as pure lust and need raged behind his near black eyes.

There was a beat. A pause. A frozen moment in time. And then he let go.

All the air was sucked from her lungs as he covered her mouth in a bruising kiss, leaving her lightheaded. He slid an arm under her back and tugged her up the bed until she was no longer hanging off, her head just missing the pillows. But there was no time to worry about any of that, because as soon as he had her where he wanted her he was sitting back on his heels, both hands going straight to her center.

He clamped a hand on each thigh and pushed up and out until she was fully on display to him. Before she could take a breath his thumbs were at her opening, dipping into her wetness as he spread her open making her cry out with frantic, mewling gasps that didn't stop.

She wanted to touch him but she couldn't get her hands to let go of the blankets. The hold she had was the only thing keeping her from losing all control. When he circled her clit and slipped two fingers inside she pressed down with her heels and raised her hips a good foot off the bed.

Oliver slid a hand around her thigh and braced her in the air as his mouth came down to cover her. His tongue flicking around her clit had her calling his name like a chant, her entire focus narrowed to the hot swirl of arousal that was building low in her belly.

She was so lost in the fog of desire and what he was making her feel that she barely noticed when his mouth was gone, fingers still pumping inside her at a pace that steadily continued to rise. There was a loud slamming sound that had her lifting her head to see him ripping a condom packet with his teeth as his other hand still worked her.

She moaned as she watched him roll it down his cock, desire racing through her. And then he was right where she wanted him, one hand cupping her jaw and she couldn't have looked away from him if she tried.

He was poised at her entrance, nudging her slick folds, begging to be allowed in. She wrapped her hand around his wrist, his pulse racing under his touch as he held on for her. She bit her lip and gave him the barest of nods, and with one sure thrust he was buried within her.

They both let out strangled groans and he stilled, giving her a moment as she tried to catch her breath, tried to breathe at the intensity of finally feeling him inside her.

But it was impossible and her body betrayed her first, taking the decision out of her hands as she canted her hips towards his making him grunt and grab at her waist, holding her in place as he pushed into her.

The bed rocked, headboard hitting the wall as the ache between her thighs grew. A sheen of sweat broke across his skin, making his muscles stand out as he worked over her.

He was still holding back however. He didn't fully trust himself. But she did.

"More," she gasped, letting her hands fall down his back to grab his ass,

There was a break in his rhythm as he stared down at her and she looked up, deliberately thrusting her hips hard into his, tiny burst of white light sparking in her vision as his pelvic bone rubbed exactly where she needed him.

He shook his head, and mouthed her name.

"More," she demanded,

His stuttered, harsh breath washed over her face, hips jerking forward harder than they had before but she knew he was restraining himself.

Her nails dug into the hard muscles of his ass as she ground herself against him in frustration, "You won't hurt me," she said again, "I'm not going to break,"

His teeth clanked together as he reared back, and she saw the moment he fully broke. With a roar he pulled both of her hands off of him and held her wrists in one palm as he surged into her until he was buried so deep she couldn't breathe.

He pinned her arms over her head and continued to pound into her, their grunts and moans the only sound in the room as his powerful hips worked like a piston with no discernible rhythm.

The headboard made an obscene knocking sound but she couldn't really hear it. Her head was thrown back, mouth frozen open as she lost herself in him.

She needed this. They needed this. Every last unwanted touch. Every last unknown from her captivity needed to be burned away in order for her to be able to walk away new and whole.

Somehow in his haze of lust and pleasure he knew she needed to be in control at the end. All it took was one flip and their positions were reversed. His hands landed on her waist as she settled herself in place, the first drag of her pelvis against his at this new angle making her see stars.

Her orgasm was right there, it wouldn't take but one or two more strokes she knew. With her hands planted on his pecs she lowered her head until it was pressed against his. She rocked against him as he drove into her, everything becoming tighter and tighter until felt like she'd climbed the highest spiral.

Moving almost frantically she found his hands, forcing their fingers to entwine as she panted above him. "Come with me," she gasped into his ear, and then she knew nothing but an explosion of pleasure as she stepped off the cliff, Oliver's erratic thrusts lead into him holding his body taut and still as she spasmed around him, his guttural shouts only slightly muffled by her neck.

She collapsed on top of him, chest heaving, not even realizing she'd been crying until she felt him wiping away her tears and murmuring soothing words into her hair.

"I could have lost this...lost you," she whispered, letting out a long shaky breath,

"But you didn't," he reminded her, smoothing away damp hair from her neck,

"No, I didn't," she agreed with a smile,

He just held her as she listened to his heart beat begin to slow, making no move to extract herself from his embrace.

Eyes heavy, body sated and sleepy she was only half aware when he rolled her to the side before he slid from her body and then the bed. A warm cloth between her legs let her know he'd returned and then he was back in bed beside her, gathering her into his chest as she hummed happily.

One of her legs threaded through his as she pressed herself even tighter to his side. With a hand stroking through her messy hair she was quickly on her way to sleep, but a thought struck her and she smiled into his skin.

"You know, you never took out my stitches," she mumbled,

The rumble of laughter could be felt as well as heard, and the last thing she remembered was him kissing her forehead before she was asleep.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Here it is. Final chapter. Story is marked as complete. Hope I've managed to tell a complete story, front to back. Thank you for reading, it's been an amazing ride. If this story at any point affected you I'd love to know. Enjoy!**

 

“Oliver! Oh my god!”

She’d been woken up to pressure across her abdomen and a spike of pleasure that rolled up her spine.  When she’d blinked open her eyes and looked down she saw him grinning at her from between her thighs.

It was still dark out and she couldn’t see any clocks from where she lay but there was enough illumination from a small lamp that she could make out Oliver’s still naked form.

“Wh...what are you--” her question choked off as he dragged a slow hand across her belly and then down until his thumb dipped into the top of her slit and pressed lightly on her clit.

“I told you...uninterrupted night. And I meant _all night_ ,” he said purposefully just before he lowered his head and gave one long lick that sent her head spinning.

“Took your stitches out but you didn’t notice,” his thumbs stroked around the outside of her folds and she was having a hard time focusing on what he was saying, “Then I wondered what it would take to wake you up,”

His grin was downright dirty, and a little bit proud. When she looked down the outside of her thigh she saw he was telling the truth, the stitches were gone, leaving a tender pink line that she knew would take weeks to fade.

But her attention was quickly brought back to Oliver and what he was doing to her. Her hips twitched violently as he continued his slow, controlled assault. Fingers lightly trailed up and down her inner thigh, effectively coaxing her legs further apart as he stroked her at an even, steady pace that sent heat rushing through her veins.

When she felt his tongue on her belly laving wet kisses around her navel across to her hip her breath caught, head tipping back until all she could see was the dark shadows on the ceiling as her hand fisted in his hair.

He was methodical, and almost diabolical in what he was doing. One hand kept up a steady strum of her center; circling her clit, dipping inside to stroke slow and long, running up and down her slit. Each touch was different than the one before but none were hard enough or repetitive enough to give her the release she sought. His other hand seemed intent on covering as much skin as possible. Her hips, her ribs, up the interior of her elbow and then in to just skim over her peaked nipple. For the first time she cursed the well honed fine motor skills that allowed him to so effectively drive her to the brink but not push her over.

While his hands were occupied he pressed open mouthed kisses all over with no discernable pattern. Slow seemed to be his highest speed, and he was reveling in how she responded to him.

She felt overheated, and flushed, every single nerve ending in her body at attention keeping her stiff and frozen except for the involuntary jerks or shivers she couldn’t control. He seemed to delight in each one, her gasps and moans and nonsensical mutterings only urging him to continue.

The mattress dipped near her hip as he shifted upwards, although his fingers never stopped, if anything he timed sliding in two long digits as he moved making her cry out and arch her back, holding that position as he began to suck and nip the sensitive area beneath her breast.

He was gently rolling a nipple between his thumb and forefinger, sending tugs of desire straight to her clit when she had her first orgasm. It washed over her with no warning and she felt her inner muscles clamp tight around his fingers causing him to let out a small laugh. “Starting without me?” he murmured, lips never stopping as he sucked the same nipple between his teeth and bit down carefully.

“Not fair,” she managed to gasp out, ending on a high moan as he slid his fingers out of her, leaving a damp trail across the top of her thigh as her body slowly relaxed.

However, he didn’t stop. His tongue flicked over the small bud of peaked flesh, hands coasting up and down her sides making her shiver and tremble. Her limbs were loose now, legs lying limp and he planted one hand on the outside of her hip and moved over so he could lay in the cradle of her thighs.

With a hiss her pelvis jumped up into his, every part of her more reactive and when she felt his erection at the join of her leg and hip she groaned and pushed into him again, this time on purpose.

Oliver let out a heavy exhale at the action and she ground into him one more time, trapping him against her body as she rotated her hips in a slow circle.

His hand dropped heavy to her waist and pushed until there was space between them. She let out a small whimper but it was quickly cut off by his mouth covering hers.

This slow, almost languid pace was in direct contrast to what had happened between them the night before and each had their pros and cons for what she was more likely to survive.

The slick skin of his biceps rippled under her hands as she clutched him. He was dragging the backs of his knuckles across her ribs, barely there feather like touches that just skimmed the surface of the fading bruises. She didn’t know if he meant it to be sweet, but all it did was make her twitch beneath him as she tried to get more contact.

She heard him laugh into her neck as he made his way from one breast to the other, a trail of small bites and nips in his wake. When he completed his journey he took his time kissing and tasting the mounded flesh, avoiding the center as the throb of desire in her core flared to life once again and began to grow.

Not sure if she could handle him teasing her again she growled his name and firmly grabbed a handful of hair to direct him right where she needed him. She looked down in time to see a broad smile crack his face before he opened his mouth and did her bidding, sucking her nipple into the hot interior where his tongue was waiting to flick across the tip.

She keened, holding him in place with surprising strength as his hands roamed with a firmer touch, one arm slipping behind her back to pull her closer to him. She dropped one hip open and ran her foot up and down the back of his knee and quad as she angle herself to get the pressure where she needed it the most. They both stilled and groaned when he accidentally slid through her slick folds, the tip of his cock pushing insistently against her clit.

When she bowed her back that time he latched down firmly on the hollow of her neck and collarbone, sucking what was sure to be a bruise that she distantly hoped could be hidden. But when his hips rocked into hers and her mind blanked white she realized she didn’t care if he tattoo’d ‘Property of Oliver Queen’ across her forehead as long as he could make her feel like that.

She panted and gasped for breath as he pulled back and looked down at her, eyes flashing in the dim light. He looked like he had earlier, all raw emotion and no control and it sent a spiral of heat low in her belly.

One long arm reached for the bedside table and in a split second she bit down on her lip, and made her decision. She slipped out from under him, actually taking him by surprise when she caught his wrist and pulled it back, shaking her head as she placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed down. His brow quirked, but he allowed her to direct him and when he turned and lay back against the pillows she grinned wickedly, loving how his throat worked as he swallowed hard.

She took her time reaching for the drawer, never taking her eyes off of his as she pulled it open and felt around inside until she made contact with the foil square she was searching for. Then she moved back over to him and deliberately sat the condom off to the side, letting him know she wasn’t going to be needing it immediately.

Poised on her knees next to him she felt a thrill shoot through her. Even though she knew he could easily flip their positions in an instant, right then she was the one who had flipped the power roles, and the knowledge that the night before had not allowed her to take her time made her want to do what she could to change that.

Reaching as far down as she could she let her nails come to rest just above his right knee and began to drag them up, loving how she could feel the muscles in his thigh react to her touch. There was a scar there she’d never noticed before, long and jagged, cutting in and then diagonally towards his hip. She traced the edge, watching as his hands clenched into fists at his side.

The deep cut of the muscles that made the tantalizing vee that always seemed to tease her when his pants set too low was too tempting to resist and she scooted back and then leaned down to allow her tongue to follow the line.

A strangled curse in a language that wasn’t English came from his throat as she went back and forth, knowing her hair was trailing across his lap, the ends teasing between his legs. She was only a few inches from his cock which was straining, the tip glistening. When she licked over a certain spot near his hip she saw it twitch so she did it again and got the same result.

Slowly she let her other hand run the length of his opposite leg and then in, taking his cock firmly in hand just as she sucked a mark into his skin. He bucked into her touch, a hand slipping into her hair to gather it away from her face and she flicked her eyes to his and grinned, much like he had when he’d woken her up.

Oliver’s chest heaved as he struggled to maintain his composure. When his eyes slammed shut she knew she had him and she wasted no time in stroking him from base to tip firmly. Her mouth taking him in was a surprise and there were more curses and her name rumbling from deep in his chest as she licked and sucked the head of his cock, swirling her tongue across the top before she took in as much as she could. His hand tightened in her hair and she knew he was doing everything he could to not thrust into her mouth.

She lost track of time as she delighted in going down on him. His responses were almost primal in nature, causing her own arousal to grow as she brought him closer and closer to his release. She knew she’d pushed him too far when his fingers tightened in her hair and pulled upwards. With a suctioning pop her mouth slid off of him and she looked up to see him flushed and ready, already sitting half up as he wrapped one arm around her and pulled her to his chest, mouth crashing against hers.

Felicity gasped as he sucked her bottom lip between his teeth and bit down and then she was on her back again and he was between her thighs and the condom was already on and there were two fingers stroking inside her.

One hand clutched almost desperately to his forearm, the other lay fisted over her head as her breath caught in her chest, the anticipation nearly drowning her. But he wasn’t waiting any longer, his fingers were gone and were quickly replaced as he pushed into her in one solid thrust that left her seeing stars.

He filled her completely, the stretch she felt bordering on pain, but the good kind, and as she gasped for breath he pulled out at an agonizing pace before sliding home once more. His hands wrapped around the tops of her hips as he canted her up into him, changing the angle and making him slide against that spot inside her that made her toes curl and made inhuman noises come from her throat.

Her cry was cut off, turning into a soundless scream when his thumbs dipped in and found her clit, working the small bundle of nerves with a steady bit of circling pressure as he started to pound into her at a much quicker pace.

She didn’t have to tell him to let go this time, he wasn’t holding back and everything fritzed to white in her mind as the pleasure swamped her. Her interior muscles were still spasming around him, making her jerk in reply when his movement became erratic and even more rough. Face red, neck straining, veins popping in his muscular arms as he held her steady, he looked the very picture of strength, and vitality, and manhood. And he was all hers.

He collapsed forward, head burrowing into her neck as he shouted his release and she wrapped her legs around him to hold him to her. His weight made it difficult to draw a full breath, but she didn’t mind. Hands that had just been digging into him with desperate need now drew soft lines up and down his back.

They lay boneless, skin cooling, pulses lowering as he slid down to rest his head on her belly, the rough scratch of his stubble still causing a shiver to skirt down her legs. Her hand lazily lifted and dropped to his hair, scraping mindless patterns and trailing down to his neck and back up. His thumb did the same across her ribs, mindful of the mostly healed bruises. He pressed one kiss to the tip of her still pebbled nipples and then slid from the bed with a muffled groan.

After he returned he resumed the position, making her smile and they lay there quietly while she ran her fingers through his hair.  

“I’m ready to go back,” she said suddenly into the silent room, both their hands stilling at her words.

He didn’t say anything for a long moment and his thumb resumed its previous track before he spoke, but she hurried on before he could.

“Back to work, back to the lair...all of it. It’s time,”

He did turn then, pushing up on one elbow as his chin came to rest just above her navel, “You sure?” She could see the hesitation in his eyes. The need to protect her and keep her safe. She’d needed that from him for the past week, but she was healing and they both had to get back to real life or she was afraid they’d drown in the bubble he’d created for them.

She let her fingers follow the curve of his brow, down the side of his face and across to his lips where she rubbed soft skin until he pressed light kisses over the pads, “Yeah, I’m sure,” she answered at a whisper, “You’ve been out since the bombing...I have no idea what’s been said to excuse your absence much less mine. I know your mom has stepped up but...I haven’t been able to bring myself to look at the state of the stocks or anything that’s been said in the press--”

“Hey,” he said quickly, right arm coming up to plant on the mattress near her hip as he pushed himself up to lean over her, “Don’t worry about work. There have been more important things to worry about,”

“The company is important too,”

“Not as important as you,” he countered immediately, and she gave him a soft smile in return.

“I’m not sure the investors would agree with that,”

His brows drew together and she could see him gathering to tell her exactly what he thought about the investors when she leaned up and gave him a lingering kiss, “I love you for everything you’ve done for me, but we need to do this. Our life can’t change. Well...it can’t change in a bad way,” she clarified, as she let her hand trace down his chest and run across his abs, “If it does then he wins and...everything was for nothing,”

Oliver let out a long sigh, slipping his arms around her as he rolled them over until he was on his back and she now lay against him, “It was definitely not for nothing,”

She let the beat of his heart and the soft strokes of his hand through her hair relax her as she traced his Bratva tattoo by memory, “So Monday then…”

He held her just a little bit tighter, “Monday,”

“There’s something else…” she began, inexplicably nervous which she didn’t understand because she knew Oliver would support her,

“What?” he asked, concern filling his voice as he notice her apprehension,

“I want to go to Mr. Monroe’s grave. And I want Digg to take me,” she said quickly and then waited for his response. She couldn’t explain why she didn’t want Oliver with her, it just felt like it was something she needed to do, and something she needed to do with Digg.

Oliver couldn’t hide the sharp inhale or the way he half sat up, causing her to push off him and look at his worried face, “Felicity…”

He had a hundred questions she could tell, but the biggest one was why. Why would she do that to herself.

“I have to. He…he died because his job was to protect me. It doesn’t feel right not to acknowledge that,”

“I…”

“I’ll be okay. I can handle it. You could go to the lair and get a workout in or go by the office…” she didn’t know why she felt guilty for wanting to do this without him, but she did,

“Okay, you...I understand. You don’t have to plan out my every minute,” he said with a quick lift of his lips, “But I think we’ll save going into the office for Monday,”

A wash of relief crossed over her and she let herself be drawn back down to his chest, “Thank you...I’m sorry--”

But Oliver cut her off before she could continue, “Don’t apologize, we’ll talk to Digg in the morning, I’m sure he won’t mind, and I don’t mind either,” his hand gently coasted over the side of her face and then down to cup behind her ear, “But it’ll have to be after ten,”

There was a lightness in his tone that made her pick her head up yet again and look at him with a quirk of her brow, “Why after ten?”

He gave her a wry smile and drew her closer, “I have plans for the shower in the morning,”

She couldn’t help but moan into his mouth as he gave her a languid kiss that shot sparks off in her stomach at what that shower would bring.

Oliver did indeed have plans for the shower in the morning. Which is why it was closer to eleven when she walked out the front door of the Queen mansion with a smirking Digg, her head held as high as she could manage. Luckily no other Queens were present. She didn’t know if she could handle Thea’s wit just then. But when she turned to look back Oliver was standing on the front steps staring at her with nothing but concern and support.

As she slid into the back seat she hesitated, wondering if she should sit in the front instead, but she was used to the back with Oliver by her side and even though he wouldn’t be with her then the familiarity of it was comforting.

Digg was quiet as they pulled away, and she watched Oliver as long as she could even though she knew he couldn’t see her through the dark tinted windows.

“This is the first time I’ve left the mansion since…” she began, hating how shaky her voice sounded. She’d been doing so much better.

“I know, you doing okay?” Digg asked, his tone careful and measured,

“Yeah,” she replied tremulously, blowing a breath out through pursed lips and trying again, “Yeah, I’ll be fine,” and she was pleased to hear she meant it.

“You want me to turn around at any point, or call Oliver I will,” his dark eyes cut to hers in the rearview mirror and she gave him a small smile of appreciation,

“I’m glad you agreed to take me. I couldn’t do this without you,”

He shifted in his seat and gave her a tight nod. “I’ve got your back girl, you know that,”

“That’s why you’re my favorite, Digg,”

As they wound their way through the city she looked at the people around her and felt stunned by how life still managed to keep going when she felt like hers had been frozen in time. She knew going back to work was the right step. They needed to move forward and her leaving the house was exactly what she needed to do; even if it did leave her feeling on edge.

She didn’t know if it was necessary for Digg to take a route right through the center of Starling, but the sight of Queen Consolidated was both good and a bit nerve wracking. The last time she’d been there, Nate had left a bomb in the plaza, which was only a day after they’d almost died in Oliver’s office. But it was still where she spent the majority of her day outside of the lair. It was the site of her first job out of college and where she met Oliver and where she’d return to help him run his company. She hoped the good memories outweighed the bad.

As they waited at a light she spotted a florist at the next corner and quickly asked Digg if he could stop.  

The was a space right out front and Digg smoothly pulled in, not even giving her the option of going in alone, for which she was glad. She gratefully took his hand as he helped her out and set her eyes straight ahead at the shop.

Digg never left her side, his hand hovering just at her back as he ushered her in, head swiveling left and right before he held the door for her.

As she scanned the various arrangements she could feel her tension rise, just knowing that somehow someone was going to approach her and know what had happened as if she wore a sign that announced the trauma she’d been through. But other than the owner calling out from the desk asking if they needed any help no one bothered her and she quickly grabbed a large, brightly colored bouquet and paid for it with Digg right behind her.

The closer they got to the cemetery the more anxious she became. When she found herself systematically plucking individual petals off a flower she purposely sat the bouquet as far away from her as possible and twisted her fingers together in her lap.

Monroe had been buried in the Veterans cemetery and as Digg drove through a wide stone arch she saw hundreds of identical grave markers dotted with waving flags.

The place seemed mostly deserted for which she was grateful, but she wasn’t prepared when the car suddenly pulled off to the side and came to a stop.

With shaking hands she undid her seatbelt and clutched the flowers to her chest but made no move to get out, even with the door open and Digg patiently waiting.

Felicity shut her eyes tight and steeled herself for what she knew she had to do. She didn’t say a word as she climbed from the car, and neither did Digg, but his hand never left her elbow as he slowly guided her across the well manicured grass.

The crinkle of the clear plastic wrapped around the bouquet seemed overly loud as she accidentally gripped it tighter and she winced, pressing it to her chest to keep it from making another sound.

“It’s okay, Felicity, you’re not going to bother anyone here,” Digg said dryly and her eyes flew to his, mouth open in shock until she realized his attempt at gallows humor was a way to get her to relax some.

He just lifted a brow and then his steps were coming to a halt. When she looked down they were in front of a recently overturned patch of ground, the sod replaced neatly but still obvious where it had been cut away.

“Headstone won’t be set for a few more weeks,” Digg offered and she saw the small stand, and the white paper no bigger than a business card with Monroe’s name and rank, and years of birth and death slipped into a clear cover.

It had been a week and a half since the funeral so she hadn’t expected the larger wreaths or arrangements to still be there. Instead there were several smaller bunches of fresh flowers, and with a lump in her throat and fist around her heart she knelt carefully and laid her flowers along with the rest.

A piece of paper tucked under a smaller bouquet fluttered in the wind and she reached out to place it more securely, gasping when she saw it was a child’s drawing. Two stick figures drawn in crayon, one big, one small were holding hands. ‘Uncle Chris’ had been painstakingly copied in the corner. Felicity had to hastily swipe a hand across her face before her tears dripped onto the paper.

It was hard for to believe that under her feet lay the body of the man who had carried her away from a bomb threat, who had shadowed her for days ready to do whatever was needed to keep her safe, and who in the end had given his life in an attempt to save hers.  

Digg helped her up when she tried to rise on unsteady legs and held her while she wept. She gladly took his proffered handkerchief, letting out a muffled half-laugh as she wiped her eyes. “I’m going to have a collection of these if I’m not careful,”

“Lets just hope we’re done with things that make you cry for a long time,” he said gently and she nodded her agreement.

With her head resting against Digg’s arm they stood in silence and stared down for a few more minutes. “He was a good man. I’m sorry he died,”

“Yeah,” Digg said gruffly, leaning down to brush a kiss over her hair, “Ready to head back? Not sure if Oliver should be left alone with the training dummies for too long.”

She took one last look and then turned, Digg falling into step next to her, “You’d rather he pummel you instead?”

“It’s sparring, Felicity. Sometimes I’m on defense, sometimes I’m on offense. It’s not about winning.” he objected,

“You keep telling yourself that, big guy.”

He shot her a look and she gave him her most innocent smile, mouthing a quiet thank you as he opened the door for her.

They were halfway back to the city when she spoke, “You know, I never did thank you,”

“For what?” his eyes flicked to the mirror and held hers for a second before he had to look back at the road,

“For insisting I learn how to use a gun,” she wiped suddenly sweaty palms on her thighs as she heard the retort of the bullet leaving the chamber echo in her head. She shook from side to side to fling it off, and took in a quick inhale, “I don’t think I’d be here if you hadn’t,”

“I never wanted you to have to do that, but I’m never going to be sorry that you did,”

A tight lipped watery smile just cracked her face and she leaned forward to lay a hand on his arm in understanding.

They were still outside of the Glades when Digg cleared his throat, “I don’t suppose you want to run by your apartment, do you?”

She felt blindsided. Her apartment. She honestly hadn’t spared one thought for the place she called home only two weeks earlier. The last time she’d been there was right after everything with Nate had started. Oliver had carried her bags out and she’d never been back.

Her thoughts went to Oliver’s room, his bed, his closet, the Queen’s kitchen, and her favorite spot in the garden, and in her mind’s eye all she could see were all the ways she’d seamlessly managed to integrate herself. It had never felt awkward, or forced. It only felt right.

They’d need to talk about what that meant, of course, but the thought of going back to her apartment without him made a cold knot grow in her chest. She couldn’t do that. Her arms unconsciously wrapped around her body, fingers lightly tracing the edge of the small bandage that still covered her upper arm, a very real, very stark reminder that her world had been completely changed.  

“Um...no, I...I’m okay for right now,”

Digg just gave her a knowing look and she knew her face was flushed pink. They both knew she’d never spend another night in that apartment again.

The rest of the drive she worried the thumb nail of her left hand, anxious to see Oliver. This was the longest they’d been apart since her return and she knew the only reason she was mostly okay with it was because she was with Digg. But soon enough she’d have to cut the cord. For now though she’d be happy with her progress.

When Verdant appeared in her view she couldn’t help the fluttery feeling of anticipation that started in her stomach. She’d missed him, and that had nothing to do with what she’d been through. A warmth filled her as she remembered everything that had happened the night before, and then later that night, and then that morning. Her cheeks were hot with the memory and she was the one pushing open the car door, glad for the fresh air that hit her face when Digg stopped the car.

As they descended the stairs to the lair Felicity could hear the telltale sound of Oliver hitting one of the training dummies with his sticks. Once she reached the bottom she could see the blur of his arms and the way the muscles of his shoulders and back flexed and moved beneath the skin, shiny with sweat. She was glad he’d listened to her and got in a workout.

He finished his session and tossed the sticks to the side, wiping his face and chest with a nearby towel, turning to grab his shirt but she already held it out for him.

“Hey,” he said gently, taking the shirt and slipping it on before he took her by the elbow and drew her close, “How are you?”

He knew going to the cemetery would be difficult for her and she was grateful he asked.

“It was hard…” she admitted. Oliver sighed and stepped closer until she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest, “But I’m glad I went.”

He didn’t say anything, just dropped a kiss to her hair as she straightened up and gave him a tight lipped smile. “Now, since I’m here I don’t think we should let it go to waste. Got any bad guys you want me to track?”

She saw him exchange a look with Digg over her head and then he gave her a nod. “There’s been some chatter over the police feeds the last couple of days,” his hand found the small of her back as they made their way to her desk and Digg pulled the chair out with a flourish,

“I’ve already compiled a list of the possible targets, but we need you to run all the cross searches,” Digg supplied as she made herself comfortable, fingers already flying as she scanned her screens.

“Okay, got it. Why don’t you two go do...what you do and let me work…” she trailed off, already distracted.

She never saw the swell of emotion in Oliver’s eyes or the way Digg clapped him on the back as they made their way to the mats.

The rest of the weekend they split their time between the lair and the mansion. She was still insistent they return to work on Monday, knowing if they waited any longer it might be impossible. She’d made it through Oliver’s first patrol the night before, barely breathing when he’d gotten into an altercation, but he’d returned in one piece and she’d only clung to him for a solid minute at the bottom of the stairs.

When they were at the mansion she’d made sure they caught up with as much QC work as possible. The last thing they needed their first day back was to get blindsided by Isabel. Moira agreed and brought them up to speed on what they’d missed.

By eight thirty Monday morning she and Oliver were already in the executive elevator on their way back to their offices. She was as prepared as she possibly could be, but still found herself fidgeting nervously with her dress and her glasses until Oliver reached over and wrapped his hand around hers, drawing it down between them and not letting go until the doors opened.

She hadn’t been back since the bombing and she was shocked to see everything looked the same. Slowly she walked past Oliver, pushing into her outer office and immediately looking over towards his, expecting to see a blown out window with glass and debris everywhere. But it was perfect. Undamaged.

“Wow, they work fast,” she breathed out as he came to her side,

“Only took a couple of days--” he tapped his fingers on her desk and looked down quickly before he continued, “I was only here once while...while you were gone,” he gave a disbelieving huff as he too glanced at his office like he was seeing it for the first time, “I didn’t even notice it had been repaired. Never even occurred to me,”

She let her hand coast down his arm in a comforting gesture and stepped around to turn on her computers, “Well, let's see if everything actually is how it’s supposed to be. You’d think I’d have more faith in the I.T department considering I used to work there but...I really was the best.” she lifted her eyes quickly to look at him over the rim of her glasses, “It’s not bragging if it’s true,”

His lips lifted in a smile, “It’s most definitely true,” When he leaned over and brushed her lips with his she was too surprised to admonish him and by the time she’d snapped out of her reverie he was halfway to his own desk with a decided spring in his step.

A second later she’d pressed the intercom button, “We’re going to need to discuss the issue of PDA’s at the office...Mr. Queen,”

A lascivious grin cracked his face as he settled in his chair and took his time reaching forward to push the button on the phone base so he could answer her.

“I’m sure we can work out the details later,”

There was no doubt in her mind what he was implying.

With great effort she cut off the intercom and sat down, trying to get back into her normal routine, but it seemed like every time she looked up Oliver would be staring at her.

Luckily he had a phone call scheduled at nine and once he was busy she was able to focus. Although she still caught him looking at her on occasion.

An hour later she gave a satisfactory nod to her desk, her to-do pile already having shrunk significantly once she’d separated the wheat from the chaff. A quick look at their morning schedule was enough to give her a headache but they’d make it through.  

With a final glance at her tablet she gathered the needed projections and slid them into a folder, rising to her feet with one more mental reminder that she’d been through a crucible of her own and she’d emerged a better version of herself and not even an eleven o’clock meeting with Isabel Rochev could change that.

As she made her way into Oliver’s office the elevator dinged and for a second she froze. But it was only Digg, and the fear was gone as quick as it came. She pushed the door open all the way, heels making a satisfying rhythm as she approached his desk, and when he looked up and gave her that smile that was for her alone she knew deep and true that they’d survived and that they would continue to survive.

With a smile of her own she perched herself on the edge of his desk as he leaned back in his chair and gave her his full attention. A quick adjustment of her glasses and a look over her shoulder let her know Digg had taken up his usual spot by the door and she couldn’t help the warm feeling of rightness that filled her.

“Now, Oliver, I know reviewing these reports is akin to dealing with Starling’s criminal elite, but it has to be done.” she said matter of factly as she pulled them out and dropped them in his lap, “Actually it’s probably not exactly the same. Because you can’t put arrows in the financials. Well, you could but it’s not going to have the same effect.” a small huff of laughter caught her attention and she looked up to see him looking at her with tenderness and amusement and love.

She tilted her head to the side and smiled again, shifting to her left just far enough that she could rest the toe of her shoe on the edge of his chair. As she began to go over the reports he dutifully picked up the papers and followed along.

The final knot in her gut eased. Things were back to normal. They could run the company by day and save the city by night, and despite his best efforts Nate hadn’t been able to ruin that.

However, as she talked she looked down to see Oliver’s hand wrapped lightly around her ankle, gently following the thin strap and fiddling with the buckle before letting his thumb draw small circles over her skin, sending tiny little fissures of electricity skirting up her calf.

So maybe not everything was back to normal. But she’d always adapted well to change.

**  
  
  
  
  
**

Epilogue

**  
  
**

Debbie thanked the boys for coming in and told Frank to remind his wife to not be a stranger before she cleared the table, tucking the small tip in her apron pocket. It was her third double shift that week after the new girl had quit and while she was grateful for the extra bit of cash it didn’t mean her aching back wasn’t going to be glad she had the next day off.

It was the end of the lunch rush for the diner and only a few tables lingered, regulars who were retired and had nothing better to do than drink endless cups of coffee and tell the same story over and over.

The ruckus at the motel a few weeks back with the FBI and the dead body had only just died down a couple days ago. Which is why when those usually calm and quiet men began to peer enthusiastically through the window and talk louder she couldn’t help but throw down her towel and come around the edge of the counter.

“What’s all the commotion?” she asked as she approached, now able to hear a low din from outside.

“Who in blazes is landing a helicopter in Ashford?”

“Is it landing or is it crashing?”

“I flew birds in Korea, it ain’t crashing.”

Debbie made her way to the empty table next to the group and pressed her face against the pane as well, not believing her eyes as a small black helicopter kicked up dust and gravel as it landed smoothly in the spaces usually reserved for anyone hauling a trailer.

A man in a grey suit climbed out and after taking a second to button his jacket began to take long strides for the front door.

Debbie had only just turned when the bell chimed and he walked in, eyes narrowing slightly as they adjusted from the bright sunlight he’d just come from.

Even though she was old enough to be his mother she couldn’t help but rake an appreciative eye over him. He was tall and broad and one look told her the suit he wore probably cost more than she’d spent on her car. There was something vaguely familiar about him but she didn’t know why and before she could think too hard on it he was flashing her a charming smile and turning blue eyes her direction.

“Debbie?” he asked with a nod towards her name badge, “Are you the only Debbie who works here?”

Knowing every eye in the place was on her she made her way past the tables and came to stand in front of him, “I am,” she said hesitantly, “Can I help you?”

His eyes blinked shut for a second like a memory had come over him, “You already have,” the words held weight she didn’t understand,

“Do you have a minute? I can wait if you’re busy,” he said with a nod towards the counter,

Partially dumbstruck, partially curious she gave him a small dip of her chin, “I’ve got a minute,”

He headed towards the end of the counter leaving her to follow and when she did he slid a slim book out of his interior jacket pocket, “Debbie, I know this might seem strange, and I can’t offer you much of an explanation but I needed to say thank you.”

“I can’t imagine what for, I’ve never seen you before in my life.”

He looked down suddenly, a tenseness drawing his shoulders up that hadn’t been there before. She noticed he still stood, not bothering to sit on a stool. “A few weeks ago you let a woman use your cell phone.”

She’d almost forgotten it. But she did remember a pale face and sad scared blue eyes and knew she couldn't say no when the poor thing had asked if she had a phone.

“You know her? Is she okay? I knew that guy she was with was trouble, he reminded me of my ex.”

His hand tightened into a fist as his lips pulled into a thin line, “She’s going to be okay,” he said quietly, before he opened the small book and pulled out a check.

“I needed to say thank you,” the paper was slid across to her and she took it automatically, eyes bulging when she saw the amount.

The man had continued talking but she wasn’t sure she was hearing him, “That should be enough to pay off your mortgage, and let you retire if you’d like.”

He was already tucking the book back into his jacket and moving as if he was about to leave.

“But...why?” she finally got out, still stunned by her name and the row of zeros she saw,

He stilled for a second and then leaned down to brush a kiss over her cheek, “You saved the woman that saved me,”

By the time she blinked again he was pushing through the door, leaving nothing but a trace of his aftershave and a silent diner behind.

With shaking hands she looked between the check and the door, his words echoing in her head as she noticed the name on the check.

Oliver Queen, the billionaire had just walked into her diner and changed her life.

He was just about to climb into the chopper when she caught up with him, “What’s her name?” she blurted out unexpectedly, not what she had intended to say,

He turned in surprise and swallowed once before he answered, “Felicity,” The way he said the word it was like a benediction and a secret spun together to create something only he could define.

“Fitting,” she replied, “Take care of her, Mr. Queen, and tell her to do the same for you,”

A true, broad smile crossed his face at that, “I will,”

Debbie stepped back as he boarded, one hand coming up to shield her eyes from the sun and the wind generated by the helicopter. Her other hand held tight to the check, not daring to loosen her grip.

He gave her a wave before he shut the door and she watched as the helicopter rose easily into the air. She watched until it was nothing more than a distant speck in the sky and then she looked back down at the check she held.

Never would she ever have imagined letting one poor girl use her phone would end like this.

Her mind was already whirling. She’d pay off her house. But then maybe she’d see if she couldn’t do something to help the women in Ashford. She’d never been the type to sit around and do nothing. Retiring at fifty two seemed absurd.

Bracing herself for the thousands of questions sure to be thrown her way once she walked back inside she turned once more to look for the chopper, but it was long gone.

Felicity. It made her think happy thoughts, and made her smile, and she had a sneaking suspicion that the girl she’d met in that bathroom had used her phone to call the man who got on that helicopter.

He said she’d saved him. Maybe by saving her Debbie could save others as well.

But she’d have to hold onto those plans for later. Right then she had to go tell her nosy neighbors about Oliver Queen flying all the way from Starling City to see her.

**  
  
**

5 Years later…

Six months after Oliver Queen had literally dropped into her life she was free and clear on her mortgage and had opened a small non-profit women’s center near the county line. Donations were slow to trickle in at first and she hadn’t been certain the doors would stay open a year, but just when she’d been about to lose all hope a certified letter had arrived from the desk of Oliver Queen along with another check.

Every six months after that like clockwork she’d get another letter and another check, enough to keep her afloat and a little extra.

 

Three years in there was a change though, one that made her smile. That check had been sent from the desk of Felicity Smoak Queen.

Debbie had never tried to contact the Queens, she had never had a need. She’d send the same thank you card she’d send any donor, and quietly put their name on a plaque in front hall, but the girls from the diner kept a tip jar on the counter for donations and gave it to her whenever it was full and she’d put their names on the plaque as well.

Almost five years to the day another helicopter landed next to the center. The part time receptionist, Molly came running into Debbie’s office with a look of complete shock on her face to tell her.

Peeking through the blinds she saw a sleek black chopper with a white QC logo on the tail parked in the empty gravel lot next door. A large man she instantly knew wasn’t Oliver Queen opened the door and got out before he extended his hand back inside.

The first thing Debbie saw was a shining head of blonde hair as a woman emerged, carefully stepping down and using the man for balance. She gave him a smile and a nod before patting him on the arm and made her way towards the front door.

Debbie was out of her office and down the hallway in an instant, able to make it to the door before her visitor.

She heard animated talking as the two approached the glass door, the man automatically reaching out to open it as the woman continued to talk with her hands, hair flipping over her shoulders as she turned her head.

“I swear Digg, it’s like he can’t function without me there. Two hours and he’s acting like it’s two weeks instead. What’s he going to be like when I’m--” she cut herself off when she saw Debbie standing there waiting and shot the man a look like she had expected him to stop her. He just smirked and took up a position at the door, hands crossed in front of him.

“Wow, I’m sorry, I talk. A lot. And...you’re Debbie, I’d recognize you anywhere.” she said, coming forward with her hand already reaching out, “I’m sorry, I’m Felicity. Felicity Smoak Queen, but I wasn’t a Queen when we met before, just a Smoak.”

“I know who you are, Mrs. Queen,” Debbie replied immediately, thinking how different this woman was than the scared girl she’d helped in the bathroom all those years ago.

“Felicity, please. Mrs. Queen is most definitely my mother in law, not me.”

She walked further into the room and looked around taking in the waiting area, and artwork on the walls. Debbie had started framing and hanging the pictures the children drew while they waited with their mothers.

Felicity had paused in front of one and seemed to be studying it, head cocked to the side, “I’m not supposed to see anything in this one, am I?”

Debbie laughed and joined her, “I’m never sure with that one, although Mikey claimed it was a cow.”

She nodded and kept her eyes fixed on the wall, hands resting over her middle that Debbie had just noticed was only slightly rounded.

“I’d love a tour, if you wouldn’t mind, but could you point me in the direction of the bathroom?” she swiped a hand down, “This ones seems to be parked permanently on my bladder,”

Debbie showed her the way, never expecting the wife of a billionaire to be so open and accessible and normal.

Half an hour later they found themselves back in the lobby. The woman who only minutes earlier had been laughing and smiling was now twisting her hands nervously.

“Debbie...I...you can’t begin to know how much I’ve wanted to come and see you in person before now.” there was a small upturn of her lips as she paused, “You know, it took me a few months before I found out what Oliver had done, flying out here and giving you that check. I was impressed because normally he can’t hide things from me. I asked him why he did it and…” she broke off, tears filling her eyes,

When she didn’t seem like she could finish the sentence Debbie spoke up, “He told me it was because he needed to thank me. Because I had saved the woman who had saved him,” she’d never been able to forget,

Felicity nodded, smile growing wider, “Yeah, every now and then he’s good with words like that,”

“You did save me. I know you probably didn’t think anything of it afterwards but...that phone call...it gave me hope and it gave me strength and because of it I was able to make it out. That’s why I’m here today. As long as this center is here, you’ll have the funding to keep it open.”

Debbie felt tears prick her own eyes and couldn’t help reaching out and taking Felicity’s hands, “I’m glad I could help you. Even if none of this had come about I would still be glad I helped you. But your donations have already done so much...you truly don’t know the impact you’ve had on this community.”

“It’s the least we could do.” Felicity said emphatically and Debbie knew she meant it, “And we don’t expect any sort of recognition. I just felt I had been putting this off too long.” she flashed her eyes to the man she’d come in with as they had a silent exchange Debbie didn’t understand, “But the plaque is a nice touch, Oliver will be pleased to know we’re in between the Rotary club and the bowling league.”

Debbie laughed along with her, “No special treatment here, dear” she promised,

Felicity looked over again and Debbie caught the man waving a cell phone at her. With a sigh she squeezed Debbie’s hands and gave her a long suffering look, “Speaking of leagues…I’m so sorry, but I really do have to be going.”

Debbie walked her to the door to exchange goodbyes and Felicity hadn’t even finished turning around from waving before she was reaching for the phone, “Three calls, Digg? How many texts? Did he call you too? I came here with our pilot, and you, what did he think was going to happen? Did Bruce text? He tends to get grumpy when Oliver gets like this and expects me to fix it. ”

“Felicity, he was like this before, you know that. But now...” he gave a knowing look to her stomach and she sighed as she slipped an arm into the crook of his elbow, “Besides I was coming along whether Oliver said so or not, he’s not the only one who wants to make sure you’re safe, and Bruce just likes to complain.”

Whatever her response was became lost to the wind. Debbie had to settle for watching the two walk back towards the chopper. But she did see the blonde swipe her hair from her face before she leaned her head into the arm of her companion.

In a moment that felt familiar, Debbie watched as the Queen helicopter rose into the air and headed towards Starling City.

With a sigh and a wave she knew they’d never see she made her way back inside, Molly practically running her over as she excitedly gushed about Mrs. Queen’s visit, wondering if it was okay that she’d taken a picture without asking.

She let her fingers trail over the small bronze rectangle that simply said Oliver and Felicity Queen, also liking that they were given the same space as the bowling league. It seemed fitting somehow. She’d resigned long ago that she’d never know the full story. She had her theories about that encounter in the bathroom and the timing of the dead man in the motel room all those years ago. But none of that really mattered now.

As she made her way back to her office she distractedly thought about maybe changing the plaque to saying the ‘Queen Family’ instead.

  
  
  
  



End file.
